Instead of saying “Why does this keep happening to me”, turn it outward. “This” keeps happening to everybody. “This” is life, and it is normal.
Jesus tells us that “It rains on the just and the unjust alike” in Matthew 5. More later on that.
Bad things don’t just happen to bad people. They happen to everybody.
So how do you deal with it?
Thankfulness is a good start. Look at Jonah, praising God while in the belly of the whale.
Look at David, dancing and praising God, even after his son died.
Look at Job, saying that who was he to get angry at God for sending bad things and not to remember that God sends good things too.
Start a gratitude list. Look at the things that you like. Give them your energy, not the bad things. Look at all you have, not what you are missing.
Another idea is to not see things as “good” or “bad”. They just are what they are. The more you resist, the more you fight, the harder life will be. The more you define situations as “bad”, the more resistance you will give them.
Don’t give your energy to the wrong things
Pity parties only are parties of one.
While it is important to acknowledge pain and loss and occasionally say “This sucks!”, it is also important not to stay in that space.
Do what you can to help yourself. Start eating better. Go for a walk.
Feeling bad tends to make us close up and go inwards. That is the worst thing because it is self perpetuating.
Turn your energy outwards.
Go help out people who are worse off than you, not only so you get a sense of perspective, but also because the very action of helping others helps you.
Here’s the full verse of what Jesus said in Matthew 5:43-48
43 “You have heard that it was said, Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons and daughters of your Father in heaven. For He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward will you have? Don’t even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing out of the ordinary? Don’t even the Gentiles do the same? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
Don’t run away from the situation. Give it love.