Re-branding

Finally, on a Wednesday they walked through the door at the bottom of the garden. On the other side, all identity was erased. No longer defined by race, or gender, or religion, or nationality … anything. This meant the pros as well as the cons. It all had to go. Now just a number, X17359 was a little sad, because some of the old identities were useful and conferred a bit of priviledge. But there was no way to separate the wheat from the chaff with this process. It all had to be burnt away in the purifying fires of re-branding. Even the new “name” was as un-unique and vague as possible, with no accompanying meaning for or against. The “names” were even randomized so people couldn’t brag about how long ago they had walked through the door. Not like they wanted to, not after that experience, but this way there was no chance of temptation.

For you see, nobody was forced to walk through that door, a nobody who had gone through mentioned it to others. It wasn’t advertised, but everyone knew about it, one way or another. Some thought about it every day until they finally just did it, and for some it barely registered with them and they never did. But they all knew. It was encoded in fairytales and scripture. It was woven into pop lyrics and advertising jingles. It was never overt, but it was always there. It was kind of like a pattern you could only see when you had polarizing sunglasses on. It was hidden in plain sight, but only those with eyes to see noticed.

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Papa and the gun

Papa brought his gun everywhere he went. It wasn’t a small gun, either, no sir. It was a shotgun, meant for bears and the like. Gardening or the grocery store made no difference. He toted it all over Grandville, in the elbow-carry position most of the time. Sure, he got some strange looks when he was off his property, but everybody knew he was a retired Colonel (full bird, not Lieutenant) and cut him some slack. He’d never shot anything or anyone his whole service career, but that didn’t matter now. He’d been an electrical engineer before the World War started and he signed up as soon as he could. He wanted to do his part to help out his country. Maybe deep down he also wanted to make right the shame his father had brought to the family all those years ago when he left his family the permanent way.

But now he was at his new home, his two children (the requisite boy and girl) waving at the edge of the forest. They had just moved there, the 3 bedroom, 2-and-a-half bath, 2288 square-foot house they came from just wasn’t enough for him anymore. Maybe he was like a hermit crab and had outgrown his shell. He’d had to find a new one and fast or he’d die. That unsettledness was his inheritance from his Pa.

Papa was a tender soul in a hard world. Deep down he would have preferred to walk in the woods, without a care or obligation. He married out of social expectation, but had requested they have no children, but his wife had snuck two in on him before he’d insisted on separate rooms. He didn’t want children because he couldn’t bear to think of a child having to undergo what he and his sister had – the hardship, the skimping, the growing up fast after their dad died at his own hand. The family story was that it was during the Depression.  It was a depression alright, but not the capital-D kind. More of a personal kind than a public one.

Yes, that was why he carried a rifle. His father had used a revolver. And while you could kill yourself with a rifle, it was a lot harder.

You’d think he wouldn’t carry a gun at all, but he needed a reminder of the weakness that might affect him. He wanted to never succumb to weakness – whether inside or out. He needed a reminder to never forget how easy it was to go astray. Some former cigarette smokers kept their favorite ashtray, while some ex-drinkers kept empty bottles on display. It was all for the same reason. They kept their old sin before them so it wouldn’t become their new sin all over again. He never knew if suicide would sneak up on him like it had his father, but he was determined to not let it get a chance.

Sergeant Jangles

Jayne sure loved her monkey friend Sergeant Jangles. He wasn’t friends with just anyone, as he so often told her. He couldn’t afford to be, not with his position. He oversaw a regimen of Simian Soldiers, all raised like him to be different from the average monkey. In many ways they were different from the average human as well.

You see, they were educated from birth to be self-sufficient and quite capable. They were given training on how to cook, how to drive specially designed cars, and how to communicate using sign language. Some were assigned to assist humans with disabilities, while others were assigned as soldiers. They were all quite intelligent, insightful, and wise, capable of making independent decisions.

And yet they weren’t citizens. Unable to vote, to marry, to own property, they were beneath the law, an invisible slave workforce. Their owners thought nothing of it. Why would they? They collected all their salary without having to provide any more than food and lodging, both of which were minimal for their charges. When pressed by members of the Monkey Liberation League (whose motto was “Monkeys are People too!”) they would bring up the expense of training and clothing, saying that the fees had yet to be recouped. When pressed further, they hemmed and hawed about exactly when that date would be reached. They’d say things like “Well you see, new uniforms have to be custom-made, and that don’t come cheap. They tear up their clothes so often, you see. And then there’s the hats. You can’t imagine how expensive they are, and they lose them all the time. Just when the debt is about paid up, there they go needing something else again. Why, they should be grateful we take care of them at all, as much bother as they are.”

Meanwhile, their owners never worked and lived in the better parts of town and ate at the better restaurants. You could always count on finding at least a dozen of them in the fancy hip coffee houses downtown during the day while their charges worked.

Jayne wasn’t a member of the League – she was much too young. She had not even heard about it and most likely never would. Her people didn’t waste time on such shenanigans as liberating others. They barely had time to look after their own selves – and when they had a spare moment to think about the plight of the less fortunate, generally thought it was the for the best for them to take up their own fight. It wouldn’t be right to do somebody else’s work for them, now would it? Nobody marched or rallied for them and they were just fine with that.

Jayne first met Jangles when he was a private in the Simian Army Corps, back when he was first starting out. Many monkeys made it up to sergeant, but never any further. It wasn’t for lack of ability. They had that in spades. It was the simple fact that if they became Lieutenants they’d expect to become Colonels, and that was unthinkable. Then it would be even more obvious that they were capable of being full citizens, and that wouldn’t do. So they were kept low to avoid the question even arising.

Not like Jangles ever worried about such things. He was content to do his work as long as he had to. He didn’t count down the days until he could retire. He didn’t look up his pension amount every few months, when things got stressful. He got used to not being listened to, not having any real authority. Sure, his superiors told him that his happiness mattered, but when it came down to providing concrete solutions towards creating said happiness, they were silent. And any suggestion he offered was immediately discounted as being unfeasible. They were all talk and no action, blaming their employee’s dissatisfaction with the unequal work/life balance on the employees and never on themselves. They had fulfilled their required duties by having the “happiness talk” and left it at that. Once Jangles realized this was his reality, he accepted it. It was the monkey way – that which cannot be changed must be accepted.

One thing that was changed was his name. Of course his true name wasn’t Jangles. That was randomly assigned to him by his “caretaker”. Owner, manager, boss, slave master, however you wanted to think about it – it was all the same. Some titles sounded better than others, but they all described the same person. “Caretaker” was probably the most deceptive and sugar-coated, or to put it honestly, the most untrue. They didn’t take care of the monkeys at all. They cared for them just enough to keep them working, not out of any concern for the monkeys well-being, but for their own wallets.

The “caretakers” didn’t bother to ask the monkeys what their names were. They didn’t even consider the question. To them the monkeys were dumb animals, barely more intelligent than the family dog. Dogs got demeaning names like Spot or Scout or Snowball, so why shouldn’t monkeys? In the same vein, the monkeys were taught a sort of sign language so they could answer their keeper’s questions but it was never used to ask them anything. That would be absurd.

Jayne had learned the sign, same as everyone else in the town. They all had to, so they could give orders to the monkeys. But she, being a child, and a female one at that, instinctually understood the position of the monkey workers. She understood the dynamic of lesser-than, of powerless. She understood what it was like to be talked at and never with. Thankfully she didn’t follow the usual course of passing on the oppression. Lesser-thans usually treated their perceived inferiors the same as how they had been treated, handing down abuse the same way poor families handed down clothes. Thankfully, Jayne knew better, and acted better. So she asked Jangles what his real name was when they first met. This was done privately of course, and the name was kept secret. She never spoke it aloud or used his unique hand-sign within the presence of an adult. It was critical that she kept up the illusion of hierarchy, or else their friendship would have been terminated.

Halloween Thoughts

#1.  You have to wear a costume.

#2.  You must say trick or treat.

If these two things happen, I will give you candy.

No picking out what you want.  No candy for your “sick brother at home” or “the baby”. Each person must be present and follow #1 and #2 to get candy.

It must be at least twilight before Trick-or-Treating begins.  Dark is better.

You are never “too old” to trick or treat, as long as you follow #1 and #2 and are polite about it.

Halloween is on October 31st. Period.  It should not be moved because the next day is a school day. Sometimes Halloween celebrations are cancelled because of bad weather.  That is part of it. I remember tromping in my neighborhood in a vampire costume, by myself, with an umbrella, in the rain.  It wasn’t that great, but it sure was a memory.  Sometimes I think bad experiences toughen kids up to being able to handle what being an adult is like. 

Churches should stop doing “trunk or treat”.  They should celebrate their own holiday – All Saints Day.  They hate it when the secular world gets involved in their religious holidays.  It follows that they should stay out of this pagan holiday. If they don’t want their members participating in Halloween, then they should say so. Trying to sanitize Halloween is an embarrassment and a waste of energy.

Saving the world

I’m noticing a lot of people are complaining about climate crisis – but they aren’t suggesting ways to help fix it.

This echoes what I see with people who are concerned with social justice issues – all yelling, and no answers.

So here’s a list for the climate, for starters.

Recycle.

Eating less (or no) meat.

Choosing organic produce.

Have a job close to home (less than 5 miles) to use less gasoline.

Get a hybrid car.

Bike or walk to work.

Carpool.

Use mass transit instead of your own car.

Bring a reusable to-go container when eating out instead of getting a disposable one.

Use a reusable bag when shopping.

Buying clothes and items from a thrift shop, and giving things to thrift shops instead of throwing away.

Repairing items.

Buying things that are sturdy and will last.

Use a reusable bag when shopping.

Buying in bulk to save on packaging and on trips to the store.

Buying less of everything in general.

Use a reusable bag when shopping.

Death books (final disposition)

Benjamin Franklin once wrote “…in this world, nothing is certain except death and taxes.” Prepare for this eventuality and become an informed consumer with these books.

Ashenburg, Katherine The Mourner’s Dance: What We Do When People Die

Doughty, Caitlin From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to Find the Good Death

Doughty, Caitlin Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory

Harris, Mark Grave Matters: A Journey Through the Modern Funeral Industry to a Natural Way of Burial

Irish, Donald P. Ethnic Variations in Dying, Death and Grief: Diversity in Universality

Llewellyn, John F. Saying Goodbye Your Way: Planning or Buying a Funeral or Cremation for Yourself or Someone You Love

Miller, William Funeral Book, The: An Insider Reveals How to Save Money and Reduce Stress While Planning a Funeral

Mims, Cedric A. When We Die : The Science, Culture, and Rituals of Death

Mitford, Jessica The American Way of Death Revisited

Morgan, Ernest Dealing Creatively with Death: A Manual of Death Education and Simple Burial

Puckle, Bertram S. Funeral Customs: Their Origin and Development

Reigle, John M. When Death Occurs: A Practical Consumer’s Guide Funerals, Memorials, Burial, Cremation, Body Donation

Roach, Mary Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers

Who can be a minister?

We don’t have to debate about whether women or people who are gay should be ordained as ministers.  We can look at the words of Jesus and learn the answer to who is a minister.

Matthew 20:20-28
20 Then the mother of Zebedee’s sons approached Him with her sons. She knelt down to ask Him for something. 21 “What do you want?” He asked her. “Promise,” she said to Him, “that these two sons of mine may sit, one on Your right and the other on Your left, in Your kingdom.” 22 But Jesus answered, “You don’t know what you’re asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink?” “We are able,” they said to Him. 23 He told them, “You will indeed drink My cup. But to sit at My right and left is not Mine to give; instead, it belongs to those for whom it has been prepared by My Father.” 24 When the 10 disciples heard this, they became indignant with the two brothers. 25 But Jesus called them over and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles dominate them, and the men of high position exercise power over them. 26 It must not be like that among you. On the contrary, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave; 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life—a ransom for many.”

This thought is continued a few chapters later – 

Matthew 23:8-10 
8 “But as for you, do not be called ‘Rabbi,’ because you have one Teacher, and you are all brothers. 9 Do not call anyone on earth your father, because you have one Father, who is in heaven. 10 And do not be called masters either, because you have one Master, the Messiah.

We can assume this instruction extends to all titles that are currently used for ordained ministers. We aren’t supposed to elevate ourselves over other people, and we are not supposed to put other people over us.

Even Jesus insisted on this rule for himself.  He continually pointed to God as the only one above us – not even himself. 

Luke 18:18-19 
18 A ruler asked Him, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” 19 “Why do you call Me good?” Jesus asked him. “No one is good but One—God."

So the answer is simple.  NOBODY is supposed to be above anybody else in the Church.  No ordained ministers, no bishops, no popes – NOBODY.  Only God is above us. This is what Jesus teaches us, and as he is the Messiah, that is what matters.

We are all ministers, by virtue of our call to this life.  If we do what God tells us to do, we are Jesus’ family.

Matthew 12:46-50 
46 He was still speaking to the crowds when suddenly His mother and brothers were standing outside wanting to speak to Him. 47 Someone told Him, “Look, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to You.”  48 But He replied to the one who told Him, “Who is My mother and who are My brothers?” 49 And stretching out His hand toward His disciples, He said, “Here are My mother and My brothers! 50 For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven, that person is My brother and sister and mother.”

So who is a minister? Those who do good.

Matthew 7:15-20 
15 “Beware of false prophets who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravaging wolves. 16 You’ll recognize them by their fruit. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes or figs from thistles? 17 In the same way, every good tree produces good fruit, but a bad tree produces bad fruit. 18 A good tree can’t produce bad fruit; neither can a bad tree produce good fruit. 19 Every tree that doesn’t produce good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 So you’ll recognize them by their fruit.”

What are some examples of “fruit”?

Galatians 5:22-25 
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith,23 gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, we must also follow the Spirit.

And you can’t ever go wrong with treating other people the same way you would want to be treated.

That includes – giving food to the hungry, giving a beverage to the thirsty, giving shelter to the homeless, giving clothing to the naked, healing to the sick, and visiting the imprisoned.  (See Matthew 25:31-46)

Jesus is far more interested in what we DO more than what we BELIEVE.  It is about right action, instead of right ritual.  It doesn’t matter what day you serve God, because it should be every day. It doesn’t matter what gender or sexual orientation you are, because this call is for everyone.

We are not to create limits. The work is too important, and too big. So who is a minister? Anyone who does the will of God. 

Mark 9:38-40 38 
John said to Him, “Teacher, we saw someone driving out demons in Your name, and we tried to stop him because he wasn’t following us.” 39 “Don’t stop him,” said Jesus, “because there is no one who will perform a miracle in My name who can soon afterward speak evil of Me.40 For whoever is not against us is for us.
Matthew 9:37-38 
37 Then He said to His disciples, “The harvest is abundant, but the workers are few. 38 Therefore, pray to the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into His harvest.”

Notice that in all of the Gospels, Jesus doesn’t talk about what people should wear, length of clothing or hair, or what is the right seminary to go to – because these things don’t matter. Jesus called day laborers – simple fishermen and tax collectors, to be his disciples. They weren’t educated. They weren’t first in their class. They were simple people, just like us. He calls us too, right now, as we are.  We are called to be Jesus to a world that is desperate for his healing touch.