How to stay afloat during a “Sea Change”

How to stay afloat during a “Sea Change” 

*Advice for highly sensitive people who are feeling things are a bit much right now.*

Do you feel like you are adrift, unmoored right now? Like the waves are sloshing angrily around your boat, threatening to upset it? Or are you not even in a boat? Are you barely holding your head above water?

This is for you.

First – pause.  Exhale first, to get rid of stale air.  Then inhale gently.  Exhale thoroughly.  Repeat.  Move your neck and shoulders.  I bet you are holding tension there.

Know this –

You aren’t alone. People all around the world are experiencing this.  It isn’t a divine punishment on you.  You’ve not done anything wrong.

But it sure feels like it, doesn’t it? I’ve got some tips and tricks for you to try out.  Keep what works, discard what doesn’t.

For starters –

Go analog right now, as much as possible. 

Digital media (this includes all sorts of things) has a frequency that isn’t harmonious with the human body.  This is true for music, pictures, and writing that is created by anything other than a human.

This means – print out this post and read it offline if that is possible for you. It is shared online so it may reach whoever needs it, across the world. But it doesn’t have to be read that way.

Go outside and get some fresh air. Say hello to the birds and the tiny insects you encounter.  Admire a flower growing in the yard.  Greet a tree by placing your hand on its trunk. 

Remember you too are part of nature.

Here are some specific suggestions in no particular order.

Right now is a good time to read children’s books or a spiritual text of your choosing.  You simply can’t “digest” anything large right now.

Or just sit quietly, without reading anything. That’s OK too.  

Eat like a bird –

Eat small meals, but throughout the day.  Not three large meals.  Cut your portions in half. 

Eat very slowly, making sure to chew your food thoroughly. 

Stop when you feel full.  Often for me the sign is that I’ll burp. 

Didn’t finish whatever it was? Put it in the fridge (if applicable) and finish it later. You don’t have to “clean your plate” like you might have been told as a child.

Switch to very simple food –

Fish and chips is the exact opposite of what is safe right now. 

Eat less processed foods.  Consume vegetables raw, or steamed, or baked.

Eat things you can SEE what they are – they aren’t filled with chemicals.  The best food doesn’t need a label because you can tell what it is.

If you DO eat processed foods, stick with organic and/or gluten free as much as possible.  Do what you can with what you have. You don’t have to rush out and get all new food right now – I’m sure you have something good in your pantry. 

Soup is usually a good option in times like these. Miso soup is really nice right now, and it is easy to make at home.  But don’t worry about that if you don’t already know how to make it.

Avoid spicy food.  Seasoning is OK – just not spicy.

Beverages –

Water, herbal tea, coconut water, fruit juice (not acidic ones, such as orange juice), almond or oat milk are good choices. 

If you feel you must have caffeine, have green tea or white tea only.  Coffee will wreck you.  Even decaf will unbalance you right now.  Coffee is very acidic. 

———————

Much of this food information comes from the GERD diet.  GERD is caused by acid reflux – so the goal is to reduce acidity in the body. 

Prevention is easier than “cure” in every circumstance. 

Here are other things that help –

Music –

Something calming is usually best, but listen to your soul for what it needs.  As for me I started with Mozart, went to Michael Hedges, and am now listing to U2.  In the past Talking Heads, Vivaldi, and Bach have helped me. I’m sure you’ll find exactly what you need. 

If your body likes, move to the music.  Gently dance or sway.  Don’t whirl around.  

Singing along to the lyrics or the notes is helpful.  Singing is breathwork – which is also critical at this time.  There are plenty of resources on YouTube or at your local library that can help on that topic.

Gentle yoga stretches and poses helps.  Don’t know any? There are YouTube videos.  You don’t have to do a full routine. Just move your body gently.

Think of yourself as a butterfly emerging from its chrysalis. 

Or a reptile shedding its skin. 

Or a boat that is gently correcting its course at sea.

You are going through a monumental change.  And that is a normal part of being a human.  If you’re lucky you’ll get to do it a lot during your life and learn a lot of cool things from the experience.

But the first time can be really scary.

Or if it has been a long time since the last shift. 

You’re OK.  You’ve always been OK.  And you will continue to be OK.

Breathe that truth in.

Notes

(This is a shift in writing style, so take a breath here.)

We, collectively, have experienced TOO MUCH for nearly a decade.  It got to a fever pitch during the pandemic  – which society as a whole seems to pretend like that was just a blip and is chugging right along. It wasn’t a blip – it caused mass deaths, trauma, and social upheaval.  We are collectively experiencing grief – and grief needs to be processed or it will eat you up. 

We’ve had too much bitterness, and not allowed ourselves any sweetness. 

We’ve consumed too much bad news. It is all too much.

Turn off the TV and put down your phone.

You don’t have to keep up with all the chaos that is happening right now.

It will sort itself out.


There are professionals who are already handling this.

That being said – it is totally OK to seek help from a mental health professional and to take medication if they think it is necessary.  Remember – the brain is an organ, just like the heart or liver. Sometimes it gets off – balance, and prescribed medication can assist in restoring equilibrium. 

It is OK to not do everything on your list right now.  Do enough to stay afloat (take a shower, wear clean clothes, eat good food, pay your bills).

But anything extra?  Reconsider if it is absolutely necessary that YOU do it right now.  Can you delegate? Can it wait a week?

Build in some breathing room for yourself.  If you need to, you can tell people you aren’t feeling well and need to take a sick day. You aren’t telling a story – you aren’t feeling well. 

Your heart, mind, and soul deserve tender care just like the rest of your body.

Other suggestions –

Make art.

Scribbling counts. Adult coloring books count. It doesn’t have to be “pretty” or “meaningful” or ever be shown to anyone else. 

Journal.

Writing has been shown therapeutically to help re-write trauma stories in the body.  Get some paper (the cheaper the better) and scribble away. It doesn’t have to be coherent, or even legible.  Nobody is going to read this. Just write whatever you like.

Seek out good friends. 

Think of the folks you know who are calm and not prone to freaking out or catastrophizing.  They are probably in the same boat with you.  This is easier together. 

Remember – otters sleep in the ocean on their backs.  They hold hands as they sleep so they don’t drift apart. 

We can do that too, in a way.

You’ll get through this. Bend like a willow.  Let the strong winds pass through you.  Resistance is indeed futile in this circumstance. 

See you on the other side.

Peace.

Written entirely analog by Betsy Nelson, the morning of Tuesday 4-21-2026.  You may share this offline if you like but include this note. Giving attribution to the author is cool.  And being cool is cool.

On suicide

Suicide runs in my family, and I’ve met many strangers on the day that they decided it was their last.

Somehow (I think there was divine intervention) we were guided to each other and my interaction with them was enough to tip the scales towards the good. In every case I didn’t know they were actively suicidal until after the encounter.

Even if you yourself are not suicidal, your presence can make the difference to someone who is – perhaps without you even knowing.

Quantum world healing.

The Bible tells us to pray for our enemies, because it will heal them.

Buddhism does the same, and extends it to the entire world. They call it the Metta meditation, or Maitri meditation. You intentionally embrace the world with loving-kindness, which in Hebrew is known as “Chesed”. In English it is sometimes translated as “compassion” but this word isn’t quite big enough to embrace the concept.

This is a way of reprogramming faulty systems. Of restoring people and the rest of creation to their “factory default programming” – the way they were originally made.

Because we were made by a loving and kind God, we are made to be loving and kind. When people are showing behaviors that are not loving or kind, it is a sign that they have gotten out of balance / misaligned. Just like with tires that are out of balanced or misaligned, it is time for an adjustment to restore proper functioning. Sometimes that is something you can do. Sometimes you need a professional. But a change needs to happen for healing to occur.

Change doesn’t come about through punishment or “feeling sorry for your sins”, as reflected in the idea of penance. What is required is true Healing. Restoration. A course correction.

And we can help ourselves and others heal by practicing different forms of loving-kindness practices. In that way we are restoring the world at the quantum level.

Who are you praying for today? Who needs it the most?

Family Monkeys

You know the phrase: “Not my circus, not my monkeys”.  Sometimes you have to admit that it isn’t your problem to fix. But sometimes – it is your circus because the monkeys are in your family.

And then it is OK to tell them to shove off so they don’t throw shit at you – because that is what monkeys do. And then, it is OK to talk about it publically, because their bad actions aren’t yours. There is no reason to feel guilty for someone else’s bad behavior. If they try to make you think otherwise, that too must be exposed. Darkness hates light.

To paraphrase Anne Lamott- if people want you to talk better about them, they need to behave better.

My brother spent years attempting to brainwash me into remaining silent about *his* illegal and unethical actions, somehow twisting them into “family” secrets that should be hidden. His sins aren’t mine.

I have a sister-in-law who attempted to convince our parents-in-law that I was crazy and should be treated with suspicion, all because I refused to accept her abuse. This is especially concerning since she is in the mental health profession and her opinion could have been seen as a diagnosis.

I would have thought that someone who had been involuntarily committed by her own parents would understand the danger in accusing someone of being insane. Her statements to them were unethical and unprofessional, and untrue.

Thankfully the parents-in-law knew me better than she did, and they did not take action on her views.  

No matter who they are, how they are related, how long you have known them, evil people must be confronted with their actions. If they do not change, remove them from your life or else be drawn into their orbit of evil.

You are under no obligation to tolerate people who treat you badly.

It doesn’t matter who it is – friend, family member, coworker, or customer.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve known them forever or if they’ve been kind to you in the past. 

It is OK to tell people how their actions have negatively affected you.

It is OK to set boundaries and decide what kind of behavior you are willing to accept.

It is OK to speak up about how their bad behavior makes you feel – even with other people.

And it is OK to cut off all ties with people who treat you in a way that isn’t OK.

That includes in person and online.

You do not have to allow anyone to treat you badly.

This also goes for strangers on the internet who think they have the right to have a negative opinion about your writing or art.

False information is worse than nothing.

I’m getting frustrated with all the “information” being shared these days about how to defeat the virus, none of which has been proven by science. Why share something that isn’t true or helpful? Why theorize if you aren’t a scientist? So many armchair experts these days.

I have plenty of insight that I’ve received about how to make it through these unusual and challenging times but I have not shared them. Why? Because I’m not an expert. I’m not a doctor or nurse. I’m not a homeopath. I’m just a person. And my “information” isn’t based on science but intuition. I have no desire to mislead people. And honestly, most people don’t listen to me anyway.

And maybe that is part of this time: that we all must keep our own confidences. We all must follow the advice of our heart, and not anyone else’s. When you know, you know, and nobody can tell you otherwise. When you don’t know, you won’t listen no matter what.

Open letter to health insurance companies:

My health insurance company asked me how they could do better. I answered like this –

It would be nice if it cost less. I don’t think I get $400 a month of use out of my health insurance. Make it so everybody can afford it. That way, they wouldn’t have to work so hard and stress so much about their bills – thus staying healthy. If people could afford health insurance on part-time work, they’d have time to exercise, visit with friends, and do the things that matter to them. We all know how important these things are to staying healthy. Or, if the rates need to stay the same, I’d love it if we as a society could turn “health care” into actually caring for health, instead of just managing disease. Too many folks don’t have time to take care of their health, so they get sick. “Health care” becomes “disease management” and palliative care, rather than truly helping people achieve health. It would be great if your health insurance company would pay for visits to nutritionists, personal trainers, massage therapists, and acupuncturists, for example. We live in changing times. It is time for new ways of thinking.

Recovery books

Beattie, Melody.  Codependent no more: how to stop controlling others and start caring for yourself

Cloud, Henry.  Boundaries: when to say yes, when to say no to take control of your life

NurrieStearns, Mary.  Yoga for anxiety: meditations and practices for calming the body and mind

Semmelroth, Carl.  The anger habit in relationships: a communication handbook for relationships, marriages and partnerships

Tolle, Eckhart. The power of now: a guide to spiritual enlightenment / Eckhart Tolle.

Powell, John Joseph. Why am I afraid to tell you who I am? : insights on self- awareness, personal growth and interpersonal communication

Forward, Susan. Toxic parents: overcoming their hurtful legacy and reclaiming your life

Friel, John C.   An adult child’s guide to what is “normal”

Stone, Douglas.  Difficult conversations: how to discuss what matters most

Tessina, Tina B.  It ends with you: grow up and out of dysfunction

Wilson, Sandra D.   Released from shame: recovery for adult children of dysfunctional families

Wholey, Dennis (editor).  Becoming your own parent: the solution for adult children of alcoholic and other dysfunctional families

 Farmer, Steven.  Adult children of abusive parents: a healing program for those who have been physically, sexually, or emotionally abused

LaMar, Donna F.  Transcending turmoil: survivors of dysfunctional families

 Wolin, Steven J.  The resilient self: how survivors of troubled families rise above adversity

Want more? Look up the subjects of “dysfunctional families”, “codependency,” “adult children of dysfunctional families” in the library catalog.

Healthcare?

Something I’ve been thinking about – the “healthcare” system is really just “disease management”. Insurance doesn’t pay for organic food, a gym membership, a nutritionist, Art classes and supplies, for instance. But they will pay for drugs that deal with the symptom but not the root cause. I propose we change the system.

A friend of a friend commented I’d be the one that would give anything to be in that right line, but hate that I’m in the left one. 

I said
Little changes add up. It is worth leaning over to the other line. I started doing that 10 years ago. You can do it! 

She said
It’s a way different situation. But I appreciate the advice! I do believe that some people absolutely need the left one. 🙂

Me
True, we all have our own paths.

And in reality, I wanted to say more, but I know that she isn’t ready for it. And that is part of my lesson in this. To allow people to do things their way, even if there is a safer, healthier way.

Healthy list

We had a “Commit to Fit” challenge at work recently. Here is the list of all the different activities. We were to do one a day. All of these are good options for getting and staying healthy.

Eat 5 servings of fruit/vegetables

Try a new healthy recipe.

Meatless Monday

Schedule an annual exam.

Write a gratitude list

Try an alternate form of transportation.

Dance Party to your favorite song.

Take a 20 minute walk.

Sleep 7-8 hours

Try a new exercise.

Screen Free after 8 pm.

Take your blood pressure.

20 minutes of reading.

Drink 64 ounces of water.

Floss.

Break from Social Media.

20 minutes of silence or meditation.

An eclectic list of healing books.

Castaneda, Carlos. The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge (Book one in a series)

Hammerschlag, Carl. Healing Ceremonies: Creating Personal Ritual for Spiritual, Emotional, Physical, and Mental Health

Kolk, Bessel A. van der. The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

McLeod, Adam. Dreamhealer: His Name Is Adam

Mindell, Arnold. The Shaman’s Body: A New Shamanism for Transforming Health, Relationships, and the Community

Myss, Caroline. Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing

Olitzky, Kerry M. Jewish Paths Toward Healing and Wholeness: A Personal Guide to Dealing with Suffering

Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment