I often feel like I should have started yoga ten years ago. I wish I started my boundary work 20 years ago. I wish I’d taken advantage (or even noticed) the walking path at my work when I started working there 13 years ago. I wish I wish I wish…
And then I decided to change it around and think about it differently. At least I started. At least I got over the entropy and malaise and started to take care of myself.
And five, ten, twenty years from now I’ll be glad I started now and got going.
Focusing on what I don’t have only makes it worse. Thinking of myself as a victim only reinforces it.
Every time I catch myself sitting with my shoulders slumped, I have the option of good or bad ways of thinking. I can choose to be grateful I caught it and can fix it. Or I can get upset that I’m slumping again.
It is all about choice.
I can choose to get upset when others complain that they can’t get healthy and they seem to come up with more excuses than answers. I can choose to get upset if they refuse to take my suggestions, hard learned that they are, on how to get better.
Or I can remember that it is their choice to be miserable.
Or maybe it just isn’t their time to start yet. Maybe their complaints are just birth pains and they just aren’t ready to be born yet.
My spiritual director says that things come to is when we are ready to deal with them. I’m trying to remember that to have more patience with myself, and with others.
How about I just try to be happy with now, and not what wasn’t, or what isn’t, or what I think it should be?