I am a neatnik. My husband is a cluttermonster. God has a sense of humor.

While I feel that our small house has too much stuff in it, I also feel uncomfortable in a too tidy house. When I go over to a person’s house and there is nothing on the floor or nothing on the bathroom counter I begin to wonder. Do they really live there? Did they throw everything in the basement? Did they rent a storage unit just for this occasion?

I wonder if I have too much stuff or they are just better at hiding it.

When my mother in law first came over to our home, she actually said “Have you thought about getting a larger house?” This is one of those times where I got really angry yet somehow found the right thing to say. I answered “No, we’ve thought about getting less stuff.”

She should know better. She married a cluttermonster. My husband learned from him. She knows where this madness comes from. She’s lived with it for over 40 years.

I wanted to say “Hasn’t anyone taught you not to say everything you think?”


I often feel like I should have started yoga ten years ago. I wish I started my boundary work 20 years ago. I wish I’d taken advantage (or even noticed) the walking path at my work when I started working there 13 years ago. I wish I wish I wish…

And then I decided to change it around and think about it differently. At least I started. At least I got over the entropy and malaise and started to take care of myself.

And five, ten, twenty years from now I’ll be glad I started now and got going.

Focusing on what I don’t have only makes it worse. Thinking of myself as a victim only reinforces it.

Every time I catch myself sitting with my shoulders slumped, I have the option of good or bad ways of thinking. I can choose to be grateful I caught it and can fix it. Or I can get upset that I’m slumping again.

It is all about choice.

I can choose to get upset when others complain that they can’t get healthy and they seem to come up with more excuses than answers. I can choose to get upset if they refuse to take my suggestions, hard learned that they are, on how to get better.

Or I can remember that it is their choice to be miserable.

Or maybe it just isn’t their time to start yet. Maybe their complaints are just birth pains and they just aren’t ready to be born yet.

My spiritual director says that things come to is when we are ready to deal with them. I’m trying to remember that to have more patience with myself, and with others.

How about I just try to be happy with now, and not what wasn’t, or what isn’t, or what I think it should be?


I resent that women’s clothing manufacturers have unreasonable sizing. I came to understand this when I tried on a women’s extra large shirt and it was too tight. Then, from the same manufacturer, I tried on a men’s medium and it was very roomy.

Why are women’s t-shirts different from men’s t-shirts? Women’s shirts are tight and short. Men’s are loose and roomy.

Women are taught conflicting messages. Be sexy, but don’t be slutty. Show off the curves of your body, but only if they are hourglass shaped. No pears or apples need apply.

The focus needs to be on health, not weight. Everybody needs to eat well and exercise. Everybody needs to learn healthy ways to deal with stress and difficult emotions.

Stressing about how much you weigh isn’t going to do anything about it. Wishing you were skinnier won’t make it so.

As one coworker says “the only thing for it is to do it”.

Being healthy is a lifelong thing. It isn’t something you do for a week before you get married so you can squeeze into your dress. It isn’t something you do just after New Year’s Day and then drop it in February.

Getting healthy is a gift to yourself. It is saying that you deserve better.

Perhaps that is the problem. Perhaps people don’t take care of themselves because deep down they don’t love themselves. Perhaps deep down they treat their bodies badly because they thing they deserve this.

There is no shortcut to health. It isn’t like you can just eat a grapefruit and the pounds melt off and the muscles come on.

How much of women’s self image comes from clothing designers who try to convince us that we are larger than we are?

High end clothes manufacturers market differently. Their clothes are marked at least two sizes smaller. So you think you are smaller than you are.

Perhaps the sizes need to be like men’s sizes. Just do it in inches. That isn’t an arbitrary thing.

Now sure, American health is terrible. Obese is just considered overweight. People don’t seem to know what healthy looks like. And they seem to think “exercise” is a dirty word.

We need to focus not on weight but strength and endurance. If we change the focus not on how much you weigh but are you healthy – do you eat well and do you exercise – then weight will improve naturally. But who cares what you weigh if your heart is in bad shape and your muscles are weak?