In the “Rules for Being Human” there is this – “Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate anything about another person that you do not love or hate about yourself.”
This means in part that if you are at peace and comfortable with yourself, then you will be at peace and comfortable with everyone you meet.
Whatever you see in another person that you admire, use that as a signal to work on that quality – improve it, strengthen it, deepen it.
Conversely, whatever you see that you dislike, work on that too. Whatever annoys you about another person – whatever quality or quirk, is actually a trait in yourself that you dislike. This is a great tool for self-improvement. That quality is what you most need to work on in yourself.
And there is yet another way. Make peace with yourself, just as you are. Accept it as the way things are. Instead of fighting against your nature, accept it as it is. A lot of our stress comes from trying to change things that are just simply that way.
Marianne Williamson tells us “The way of the miracle-worker is to see all human behavior as one of two things: either love, or a call for love.” With this mirror technique, the way to self and world improvement is seen by examining your reaction to other people. However you react, it is either with love, or a call to love. It is either something that draws you in, or repulses you. If it repulses you, it is something to work on – either fix that quality in yourself, or fix your reaction to it by making peace with it.
In this way, even annoying people and situations are blessings.
Dig down deep to the roots. Why do you feel this way? Who made you feel this? Love it. Love that feeling, in all the brokenness and pain. Love it, because that brokenness is how the light of healing, the light of God can get in.