It takes two to tango (sluts and studs)

What is the deal with demonizing women over sex? It is the girl who “puts out” in high school who is slut-shamed, while the guy she had sex with is a “stud”. It is the single mother who gets attacked by society – not the guy who left her.

It takes two to tango.

It makes no sense that if it takes two to have sex, one should be praised for it and the other should be attacked for it. Guys can’t get a “good” reputation unless they have sex with girls who get a “bad” reputation because of it.

This is totally illogical.

Let’s think about what happens if she gets pregnant. You’d think that a single mother was the worst member of our society by the support she doesn’t get. She at least chose to stay. In a way, she couldn’t leave. She’s the one who is pregnant. She can’t leave the situation as easily as the guy can. She can’t pack up in the middle of the night and get out of town. But she chose to stay the course. She chose to try to handle the situation on her own.

She could have had an abortion (also demonizing her in our culture). She could have chosen to put up the child for adoption (possibly the only socially acceptable way out).

But no matter what, she is considered damaged goods from then on. Whatever choice she makes she is considered lesser.

The guy? He’s free to go. Nothing on his record. Get out of jail free, and in fact, he might even have a reputation as a “bad boy”, which conversely is a good thing. Way too many romances are written about the “bad boy” as a desirable thing. Way too many women read this perverted “script”, which is even more strangely, written by women. Women are teaching women to seek their very undoing.

So women are taught over and over to seek something that isn’t good for them. Go for the “bad boy”. Go for the one who will love you and leave you. Well, there might not be a whole lot of love there. Sometimes he isn’t Mr. Right, so much as Mr. Right Now.

This is the modern witch trial. Any woman who deviates from the norm, from what is expected, is seen as evil. She isn’t burned. But she is essentially excommunicated. She is excluded from society, is seen as lesser-than. Her value as a woman, as a person, is lessened.

And the guy’s value is increased.

Something is profoundly wrong about this.

If it takes two to do the deed, how come there are two different results? How come one is attacked for it and one is praised for it?