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The essence of “self-esteem” is “self”

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I remember talking with a friend many years ago and saying that the most important part about self esteem is the word “self”. If you have to rely on other people for your self esteem, then you aren’t doing it right.

I saw a Facebook meme that had a picture of a happy child with a tagline that said something about how important it is for parents to fill their child’s bucket of self esteem so high that it spilled over. This may sound strange to say in light of my recent post about verbal abuse, but I think there might be something wrong with that.

Sure, I think it is important to encourage your child and to support her. Sure, I think it is essential that a parent be a good model for the child. But I think a dose of reality is important too.

To cheer someone on as if they are doing A-level work when really it is D-level work is to set them up for failure. Encourage and show them how to succeed. Yes, cheer on every good thing they do – they can’t do it perfectly at the beginning. But don’t tell them they have reached the top of the mountain when they are still standing at the base. They will never keep growing to their full potential. They will think they are already there.

We’re just now seeing the results of this kind of thinking in the work force. There has been an entire generation of kids who have gotten trophies just for participating. They have gotten certificates just for showing up. So they get into “the real world” and they wonder why they aren’t getting the same amount of praise for the same lack of effort.

It also seems odd for someone to say that another person damaged their self-esteem. Eleanor Roosevelt tells us that “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” There are plenty of self-help books (that I’ve listed as “Survival Books”) that will tell you the same thing. You can’t change the other person. You can only change yourself. That is the essence of self-help. You have to help yourself. Someone else didn’t affect your self-esteem – you chose to let them bother you. This sounds in part like blaming the victim, but it isn’t. It is actually empowering. It is encouraging the person to stop being a victim – to stop letting things happen to them, and to be an active participant in life.

Sometimes this means leaving the situation. Sometimes the other person just isn’t healthy to be around, and they aren’t going to get nicer. Sometimes it just requires you sticking up for yourself and telling the other person how their actions make you feel. Then they have a choice to act differently or not. Then you have a choice to take it or not. But it is on you to make the choice to act.

Other people can encourage you and support you, but when it gets hard, you have to be able to take care of yourself. Ultimately, other people are not responsible for your mental well-being, you are.

Life Hacks

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Consider this a public service announcement.

Toilets and gross personal stuff

Always live in a house that has two toilets. One will invariably break and it will invariably take a while for the plumber to come. Also, if you don’t live alone, it is also very common that two people will need to use the bathroom at the same time, especially after coming home from a trip.

Always make sure there is toilet paper in the stall before you need it. This is especially true when you are not at home.

Just go ahead and use the bathroom before you are leaving a place. You never know if there is going to be a traffic jam.

If female, place a towel under yourself while sleeping when you are having a period. I cannot believe it took me nearly 30 years to figure this one out.

Housekeeping

Whatever it is that you always wash together (towels, underwear and socks, jeans), sort them as you go by putting them in a separate bin. Don’t waste time every wash day digging them out of the pile.

Bananas are a real pain to separate when they start to get very ripe. Tear them apart from each other when you get them so you don’t end up with two that are “open” when you only wanted one.

Whatever it is that you use regularly, get an extra of it so you have it on hand when you need it. Nothing slows down a home-maintenance project like having to go to the hardware store. Sometimes it slows it down so much it doesn’t happen at all.

Only shop with a list. No list – everything is bought on impulse and you probably won’t pick up what you needed to get in the first place. Most smart phones have a list application. This is very handy – no paper to lose.

Take apart a bath puff to create a soft mesh container to hold and use all those tiny soap bits. This way you can use up every bit of a bar of soap. Just tie up the ends and you are good to go. This way it also exfoliates.

Money

Sometimes you need a check. Sometimes places won’t take a credit card and you won’t have enough
cash. Fold up a check and put it under your driver’s license. I have gone to restaurants that only took checks, and they didn’t post or mention this before I ate. I went to a doctor’s office that didn’t take cards and I didn’t have the cash for the copay. Worst situation – I went to buy a car and tried to pay for the down payment on a credit card (I wanted the points). No dice. Four hours of negotiating and paperwork for nothing – but I had one check. They took checks. Trust me on this one. Carry one check.

Always carry some cash. I have a 20, a 10, a 5 and some ones at all times, as well as some change. I normally use my credit card, but every now and then the credit card machine isn’t working. This is especially important when you need gas.

Pay your credit card off every week. Don’t accumulate a balance. The fees are exorbitant. Why should you pay extra for what you bought?

Get a credit card that gives you money back for using it. I make about $150 a year this way.

Relationships

This is not original, but I like it. Here are six things to tell your spouse in order to have a successful marriage – “You look great.” “Can I help?” “Lets’ eat out.” “I was wrong.” “I am sorry.” And of course – “I love you.”

Heard from our minister when we got married – “trouble shared halves it, joy shared doubles it.”

Never date a guy who drives badly with you in the car. If he doesn’t care about your safety, he doesn’t care about you.

When choosing a spouse, think of it as interviewing someone for a job. Don’t hire them if they aren’t willing to do the job you need them to do. Somebody has to cook, clean, mow the lawn, take care of the bills and deal with service techs. It doesn’t have to be divided along standard gender lines, but it does have to be done. Talk honestly beforehand about what you are willing to do and what you won’t do.

Some people will annoy you. They may not know that they are annoying. Tell them how you feel. If they continue their bad behavior towards you, then it is intentional. If it is intentional, it is abusive.

Just because someone is related to you doesn’t mean they have the right to be abusive. If they are abusive, they do not respect you as a person.

Avoid tedious people who don’t respect you. Especially if they are family.

Health

When sick with a head cold – drink a lot of water. OK, more than that. 8 glasses is the recommended amount, and almost nobody gets that. Drink a glass every half hour while you are awake. Water is water – not Coke, not coffee. Take an Echinacea tablet with every meal. Eat a spoonful of local honey every morning. Eat an orange every day.

Prevention is cheaper than cure. Eat real food, not processed. Get regular exercise. This is more than just moving around. That isn’t exercise – that is proving you aren’t a plant. You need to work hard at least thirty minutes every day.

Exercise – Find something you like to do. Dancing counts. Nobody said it had to be drudgery. I do water aerobics, walking, and yoga. If you like doing it, you’ll do it more often.

You get out what you put in. Give it your all. Don’t waste your time going through the motions. Really try hard when you exercise.

Don’t make up excuses. Just do it. You’ll be happy when you are through. Skip, and you’ll feel bad. Trust me. I’ve been there.

Get a coat that fits and use it. Don’t wear your coat unbuttoned and then complain that it is cold.

If your hands are cold, it means your core is cold. Instead of putting on a pair of gloves, put on a sweater.

If there are medicines that you take every day, get a small container and put three days’ worth in there and carry it with you. Emergencies are bad enough but they are worse if you are without essential medicine.

Wear a hat. Not a ball cap. Aside from looking stylish, you’ll have a warm, dry head. This alone leads to much happiness.

Other

Take leftover containers with you when visiting family for Thanksgiving and Christmas. You know you’ll want to take some food home.

Find things that make you happy other than food. “Comfort food” can lead to a lot of problems if you need to be comforted with it a lot.

If you have to pick up or touch something questionable with your hand, use your non-dominant hand.

Travel

Pack a spare pair of shoes.

Bring a map, not just the GPS. “Lost satellite reception” translates to “lost.”

On “preppers” and making sure you have a future.

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I know someone who is a prepper. Perhaps you have not heard of this term. A prepper is someone who takes the Girl Scout motto of always being prepared to the extreme. Preppers often have a six month supply of dehydrated or canned food. They often grow their own food. They stockpile weapons. They take self sufficiency seriously.

Often the goal is to get “off the grid.” They will have generators or solar panels. They might have a well. If the electricity goes out, they have enough fuel to survive for months. And trust me, they do think the electricity will go out. There is a gnawing sense of impending doom that they express.

Some people aren’t preppers but they too are returning to the older ways and learning to grow and can their own food. They are learning how to sew their own clothes. They are getting books on homesteading but on just a little bit of land. Not everybody wants to move out to the country, so they bring the country mentality to the suburbs. They want to be self-sufficient, which is the opposite of dependent. They want to take care of themselves.

Much of this trend is inspired by mistrust of the government. They fear that the government is either too involved in their personal lives or can’t be trusted. People can joke about the “zombie apocalypse” all they want, but these people are prepared for that.

Yet this particular lady I know is really interesting. She does all these things, and yet there is something more that she is doing that has brought up a conundrum in my mind. She is willing to spend money and time making her home more accessible for when she and her husband get older and more infirm. She wants the house to have no stairs and have wider doorways to accommodate a wheelchair. But she isn’t willing to spend the same money and time to get healthy. She wants to make her house accessible, but doesn’t think about the idea of getting her body in shape so she doesn’t need a wheelchair. Somehow, that is seen as too difficult. She uses the excuse of her already bad health as a reason to not get healthy. She says she is too young to feel this old.

I went through every argument she had about her health and came up with solutions for her. There is always a way to exercise. But somehow, “exercise” has become a dirty word in Western culture. She came up with an excuse for why she couldn’t every time. If you spend as much time figuring out how you can, rather than how you can’t, you’ll get there.

She also uses the excuse of her hours at work to explain why she can’t go to the gym. You have to decide what is more important, your loyalty to your job, or to your life. Sure, you have to work. And sure, you may have made a career at this place. But you have to take care of yourself. The workplace won’t care if you wear yourself out and die early and miserable.

Your body is your home. It is important to maintain it. You can’t trade your body in for a newer model when it wears out. Sure, there are replacement parts these days, but they involve surgery and physical therapy. Remember in the movie “Zombieland”? The first rule is “cardio cardio cardio”. If you really think that “they” are coming, then you’d better get in shape.

We don’t need to worry about being invaded by another country or being bombed by terrorists. We don’t need to worry about Korea. We need to worry about Krystals hamburgers. Have you noticed the fact that there are calorie counts on fast-food menus? Sure, you can make better choices while you are there. But the best choice is to prepare fresh food at home. Sure, that takes time. But if you are truly a prepper, then it seems logical that you’d divorce yourself from fast-food too. Part of the prepper mentality is doing things for yourself and not trusting what others have done.

We are killing ourselves with our mouths. Our “eat like a kid again” mentality is killing us. Eat the chili cheese dog, the hot wings and the funnel cake. When you get heartburn, just take an antacid. Or get your heart valves replaced or have a liver transplant. Or get on diabetes medicine. There is something very dangerous about this way of thinking. It is backwards. Do whatever you want and take a pill, or have a surgery. It is safer and healthier to eat well and exercise first, but so few of us do that.

If you are really concerned about the future, then the best thing you can do is take care of your health. Make sure you have a future.

I know one lady who says she doesn’t have time to exercise because she had to take care of her child. If she doesn’t take care of herself, she won’t be alive to take care of her child. Right now, she already can’t do it well because she can’t even run with her child when she plays.

There is no substitute for eating right and getting enough sleep and exercise. There are no shortcuts to health.

My father had a doctor who knew he smoked. When my Dad complained about coughing, he was prescribed cough medicine. The doctor treated the symptom rather than addressing the cause. So my Dad died from a heart attack at 60. He smoked two packs a day and was obese. About a week before he died he said that I would be glad to know he was now eating eggs only once a day. I don’t ever remember him eating a vegetable.

The weird part is that we have gotten so used to people being obese that we see it as normal. We think only the people who are bigger than us are obese. And we think that the people who are smaller than us are too skinny. Just like in the story of Goldilocks, we think we are just right. But we aren’t. We are deceiving ourselves.

I am 5’ 4”. When I weighed 192, I was obese according to the charts. At 145, I’m just on the edge of “normal”. Between those weights, I’m “overweight”. That you read about who takes up two airplane seats, that person is “super obese” or “morbidly obese”. More than likely, you are obese and don’t even know it. Or perhaps you do know it, and have just gotten resigned to it.

Part of our problem is that we treat our stress with food. We get anxious about the future, or unhappy about the past, and we eat. We were taught this as children. When a child wails, parents often soothe them with food. It stops them from making noise. So, unconsciously they are teaching a child to self-soothe with food. If you have an emotional problem, eat. Our culture doesn’t like to deal with emotions at all. So we stuff them down, literally.

There is a way out. Get a book from your library about deep breathing exercises. Get a book about how to deal with anxiety. Often the only change you can make is to yourself. You often can’t change your job or your spouse or your neighborhood. But you can change how you deal with them and how you react to them. Check under my “resources” category and read the list of books I’ve called “Survival books”. Consider taking up a hobby like painting, beading, singing, or playing a musical instrument.

As for me, I do water aerobics and yoga. I walk 20 minutes a day at lunch. I changed how I work so I get in a mile and a half while I’m at the front desk. Every little bit counts. Sure, I miss the reading time. But I like to think of every hour spent exercising buys me two more hours of life. And my knees feel better, and my clothes fit better, and people are noticing that I’m in better shape. It isn’t easy to keep exercising. It was tempting to get to my goal weight and then back off. But exercising isn’t a luxury. It is essential. If we stop moving, we rust.

There was a lady who saw me recently and realized I’d lost weight, and in the same amount of time it had taken me to lose weight, she had gained it. She said “you suck” about my weight loss. This is a crazy way to think. This isn’t a game of musical chairs. The fact that I’ve lost weight doesn’t mean she can’t. She was feeling jealousy, as if I’d taken something from her. That entire way of thinking keeps her in “victim” mode. That way of thinking leads to death, even before you are dead.

It is better to do something than do nothing because you think it isn’t enough.

Are you freaking out right now, just reading this? Stop. Breathe. Repeat. Breathe deeply in through your nose, in on a count of 10, then out on a count of 10. Keep doing this. Every time you feel stress, remember to do this. It is a simple way to get control of yourself. Then go for a walk in the sunshine. Walk slowly, and look at things. This isn’t a race. None of this is a race. The future will get here, when it gets here. Make sure you are there to appreciate it.

Autism and Asperger’s resources

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I have several friends and patrons who have children with autism or Asperger’s syndrome. I kept gathering post-it notes of helpful resources for them. I finally decided to put them all together in one place. Most of these deal with how to help your child (or yourself) navigate an often-confusing world. They aren’t about medication at all, but behavior modification. These books serve as a sort of occupational therapy, but without the cost. They give insight to parents and friends about what the world of autism and Asperger’s is like. You can find these at your local library. If your library does not have it – ask them to order it via Inter-Library Loan.

CALL # j616.8589 Q75p 2012.
AUTHOR Quinn, Patricia O.
TITLE Putting on the brakes : understanding and taking control of your ADD or ADHD / by Patricia O. Quinn and Judith M. Stern.
EDITION 3rd ed.
IMPRINT Washington, DC : Magination Press, c2012.
DESCRIPT 112 p. : ill. ; 24 cm.
NOTE “Self-help guide and resource for preteens with attention deficit
disorder (ADD) or attention deficit-hyperactivity disorder
(ADHD). Includes strategies to manage disorder and practical
ways to improve organization, focus, studying, and homework
skills. Also tips for making friends, controlling emotions, and
being healthy”– Provided by publisher.
NOTE Includes bibliographical references (p. 107-110)
SUBJECT Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder — Juvenile literature.
ALT AUTHOR Stern, Judith M.
ISBN/ISSN 9781433811357.
ISBN/ISSN 1433811359.
ISBN/ISSN 9781433811340 (pbk.)
ISBN/ISSN 1433811340 (pbk.)

CALL # j618.928 H8872w.
AUTHOR Huebner, Dawn.
TITLE What to do when your brain gets stuck : a kid’s guide to overcoming OCD / by Dawn Huebner ; illustrated by Bonnie Matthews.
IMPRINT Washington, D.C. : Magination Press, c2007.
DESCRIPT 95 p. : ill. ; 28 cm.
SERIES “What to do” guides for kids.
SERIES “What to do” guides for kids.
NOTE [This book] guides children and parents through the cognitive-
behavioral techniques used to treat obsessive-compulsive
disorder. This interactive self-help book turns kids into
super-sleuths who can recognize and more appropriately respond
to OCD’s tricks. With engaging examples, activities, and step-
by-step instructions, it helps children master the skills
needed to break free from OCD’s sticky thoughts and urges, and
live happier lives. This What-to-do guide is the complete
resource for educating, motivating, and empowering children to
work toward change.-Back cover.
SUBJECT Obsessive-compulsive disorder in children — Juvenile literature.
ALT AUTHOR Matthews, Bonnie, 1963- ill.
ISBN/ISSN 9781591478058 (pbk.)
ISBN/ISSN 1591478057 (pbk.)

CALL # 371.940835 B1677s.
AUTHOR Baker, Jed.
TITLE The social skills picture book : for high school and beyond / by Jed Baker.
IMPRINT Arlington, TX : Future Horizons, 2006.
DESCRIPT 177 p. : ill. ; 23 x 31 cm.
NOTE Previously published as: Social skills picture book.
SUBJECT Autistic children — Education.
ADD TITLE Social skills picture book.
ISBN/ISSN 1932565353.
ISBN/ISSN 9781932565355.

CALL # 371.9 L4144i.
AUTHOR Lavoie, Richard D.
TITLE It’s so much work to be your friend : helping the child with learning disabilities find social success / Richard Lavoie.
IMPRINT New York : Simon & Schuster, c2005.
DESCRIPT liv, 394 p. ; 25 cm.
NOTE “A Touchstone book.”
NOTE Includes index.
SUBJECT Social skills in children.
SUBJECT Learning disabled children.
SUBJECT Social acceptance in children.
SUBJECT Interpersonal relations in children.
ISBN/ISSN 0743254635.
ISBN/ISSN 9780743254632.

CALL # DVD 371.9 I898.
TITLE It’s so much work to be your friend [videorecording] : helping the child with learning disabilities find social success / presented by Richard Lavoie ; director, Bob Comiskey.
EDITION Full screen version.
IMPRINT New York : PBS Video, c2005.
DESCRIPT 1 videodisc (90 min.) : sd., col. ; 4 3/4 in.
NOTE DVD; Dolby digital.
NOTE In English or Spanish with optional Spanish subtitles; closed-
captioned.
NOTE Executive producers, Niki Vettel and Dennis Allen ; cameras, Bob
Birkett … [et al.] ; editor, David Feder ; music, Steven
Schoenberg.
NOTE Based on the book with the same title by Richard Lavoie.
NOTE The lives of most children are filled with joy, laughter, and
their daily adventures with friends, classmates, and teammates.
Some children, however, seem unable to make these important
connections with peers and, as a result, are often islolated
and ignored. Richard Lavoie explores the causes and
consequences of “social incompetence.” He provides strategies
for teaching friendship skills in the classroom, at home, and
in the community.
NOTE Just one friend. Affective matching ; Social memory ; Social
prediction ; Social relevance — They are missing 93%,
paralinguistics. Kenesics ; Proxemics ; Vocalics ; Artifactual
systems — It’s really much more than manners. Reputation
management — Who are your friends? — The coin of the realm,
playdates — The greatest gift.
NOTE DVD special features: Focus on Bullying, Boys + Girls +
Friendships – It’s All Different!
SUBJECT Social skills in children.
SUBJECT Learning disabled children.
SUBJECT Social acceptance in children.
SUBJECT Interpersonal relations in children.
ISBN/ISSN 9780793690510 (liner)
ISBN/ISSN 079369051X (liner)
ISBN/ISSN 841887005524.

CALL # 618.92 N899t 2012.
AUTHOR Notbohm, Ellen.
TITLE Ten things every child with autism wishes you knew / Ellen Notbohm.
EDITION Updated & expanded ed.
IMPRINT Arlington, TX : Future Horizons, c2012.
ISBN/ISSN 9781935274650 (trade pbk.)
ISBN/ISSN 1935274651 (trade pbk.)

CALL # 155.232 Z43h.
AUTHOR Zeff, Ted.
TITLE The highly sensitive person’s survival guide : essential skills for living well in an overstimulating world / Ted Zeff.
IMPRINT Oakland, Calif. : New Harbinger, 2004.
DESCRIPT 192 p. ; 16 cm.
SUBJECT Sensitivity (Personality trait)
SUBJECT Self actualization (Psychology)
SUBJECT Stress management.
SUBJECT Stress (Psychology)
ISBN/ISSN 1572243961 (pbk.)

CALL # 618.92 G4758r.
AUTHOR Gill-Weiss, Mary Jane.
TITLE Reaching out, joining in : teaching social skills to young children with autism / Mary Jane Weiss, Sandra L. Harris.
EDITION 1st ed.
IMPRINT Bethesda, MD : Woodbine House, 2001.
DESCRIPT xiv, 225 p. : ill. ; 22 cm.
SERIES Topics in autism.
NOTE Includes bibliographical references and index.
SUBJECT Autistic children — Rehabilitation.
SUBJECT Autistic children — Education.
SUBJECT Social skills in children.
SUBJECT Autistic children — Behavior modification.
SUBJECT Behavioral assessment.
ALT AUTHOR Harris, Sandra L.
ISBN/ISSN 1890627240 (pbk.) :

CALL # 649.1526 D2727s.
AUTHOR Dawson, Peg.
TITLE Smart but scattered : the revolutionary “executive skills” approach to helping kids reach their potential / Peg Dawson, Richard Guare.
IMPRINT New York : Guilford Press, c2009.
DESCRIPT vi, 314 p. : ill. ; 26 cm.
NOTE Includes bibliographical references (p. 303-309) and index.
SUBJECT Parenting.
SUBJECT Executive ability in children.
SUBJECT Children — Life skills guides.
SUBJECT Child development.
SUBJECT Parent and child.
ALT AUTHOR Guare, Richard.
ISBN/ISSN 9781593854454 (pbk. : alk. paper)
ISBN/ISSN 1593854455 (pbk. : alk. paper)
ISBN/ISSN 9781593859879 (alk. paper)
ISBN/ISSN 1593859872 (alk. paper)

CALL # j153.43 B.
AUTHOR Burns, Marilyn, 1941-
TITLE The book of think : or, How to solve a problem twice your size / written by Marilyn Burns : illustrated by Martha Weston.
EDITION 1st ed.
IMPRINT Boston : Little, Brown, c1976.
DESCRIPT 125 p. : ill. ; 26 cm.
SERIES Brown paper school book.
SUBJECT Problem solving.
SUBJECT Problem solving — Problems, exercises, etc.
ISBN/ISSN 0316117439.
ISBN/ISSN 0316117420.

CALL # j618.92 V484s.
AUTHOR Verdick, Elizabeth.
TITLE The survival guide for kids with autism spectrum disorders (and their parents) / Elizabeth Verdick & Elizabeth Reeve ; illustrated by Nick Kobyluch.
IMPRINT Minneapolis, MN : Free Spirit Pub., c2012.
DESCRIPT 234 p. : col. ill. ; 23 cm.
NOTE “This positive, straightforward book offers kids with autism
spectrum disorders (ASDs) their own comprehensive resource for
both understanding their condition and finding tools to cope
with the challenges they face every day. Some children with
ASDs are gifted; others struggle academically. Some are more
introverted, while others try to be social. Some get “stuck” on
things, have limited interests, or experience repeated motor
movements like flapping or pacing (“stims”). The Survival Guide
for Kids with Autism Spectrum Disorders covers all of these
areas, with an emphasis on helping children gain new self-
understanding and self-acceptance. Meant to be read with a
parent, the book addresses questions (“What’s an ASD?” “Why
me?”) and provides strategies for communicating, making and
keeping friends, and succeeding in school. Body and brain
basics highlight symptom management, exercise, diet, hygiene,
relaxation, sleep, and toileting. Emphasis is placed on helping
kids handle intense emotions and behaviors and get support from
family and their team of helpers when needed. The book includes
stories from real kids, fact boxes, helpful checklists,
resources, and a glossary. Sections for parents offer more
detailed information”– Provided by publisher.
NOTE Includes bibliographical references and index.
SUBJECT Children with autism spectrum disorders — Juvenile literature.
SUBJECT Autistic children — Family relationships — Juvenile literature.
SUBJECT Parents of autistic children — Juvenile literature.
ALT AUTHOR Reeve, Elizabeth.
ALT AUTHOR Kobyluch, Nick, ill.
ISBN/ISSN 9781575423852 (pbk.)
ISBN/ISSN 1575423855 (pbk.)

CALL # 646.7008 D5378s.
AUTHOR Diamond, Susan, 1961-
TITLE Social rules for kids : the top 100 social rules kids need to succeed / Susan Diamond ; foreword by Ann Gordon.
IMPRINT Shawnee Mission, Kan. : AAPC Pub., c2011.
DESCRIPT xi, 131 p. : ill. ; 23 cm.
NOTE Many parents are not sure of what to say and do to help their
children improve their social interactions. Social Rules for
Kids – The Top 100 Social Rules Kids Need to Succeed helps open
the door of communication between parent and child by
addressing 100 social rules for home, school, and the
community. Using simple, easy-to-follow rules covering topics
such as body language, manners, feelings and more, this book
aims to make students lives easier and more successful by
outlining specific ways to interact with others on a daily
basis.
SUBJECT Social skills in adolescence — Handbooks, manuals, etc.
SUBJECT Socialization — Handbooks, manuals, etc.
SUBJECT Interpersonal relations in adolescence — Handbooks, manuals,
etc.
SUBJECT Social skills — Handbooks, manuals, etc.
SUBJECT Interpersonal relations — Handbooks, manuals, etc.
ALT AUTHOR Gordon, Ann, Ph.D., BCET.
ISBN/ISSN 9781934575840 (pbk.)
ISBN/ISSN 1934575844 (pbk.)

CALL # j618.9285 K254a.
AUTHOR Keating-Velasco, Joanna L.
TITLE A is for autism, F is for friend : a kid’s book on making friends with a child who has an autism spectrum disorder / Joanna L. Keating-Velasco.
IMPRINT Shawnee Mission, Kan. : Autism Asperger Pub. Co., 2007.
DESCRIPT vii, 54 p. : ill. ; 23 cm.
NOTE Audience: ages 8-12.
NOTE Includes bibliographical references.
NOTE Eleven-year-old Chelsea explains what autism is, what it is like
to live with autism, and how to make friends with an autistic
child.
SUBJECT Autism in children — Juvenile literature.
SUBJECT Friendship — Juvenile literature.
SUBJECT Social acceptance in children — Juvenile literature.
ADD TITLE A is for autism, F is for friend.
ISBN/ISSN 9781931282437.
ISBN/ISSN 1931282439.

CALL # 331.59 S598a.
AUTHOR Simone, Rudy.
TITLE Asperger’s on the job : must-have advice for people with Asperger’s or high functioning autism, and their employers, educators, and advocates / Rudy Simone ; [foreword by Temple Grandin]
IMPRINT Arlington, Tex. : Future Horizons, c2010.
DESCRIPT xix, 156 p. ; 23 cm.
NOTE Includes bibliographical references (p. 141-149) and index.
SUBJECT Asperger’s syndrome — Patients — Employment.
SUBJECT Asperger’s syndrome — Patients — Vocational guidance.
SUBJECT Developmentally disabled — Employment.
SUBJECT Developmentally disabled — Vocational guidance.
ALT AUTHOR Grandin, Temple.
ISBN/ISSN 9781935274094 (pbk.)
ISBN/ISSN 1935274090 (pbk.)

CALL # 649.15 C999s.
AUTHOR Czudner, Gad.
TITLE Small criminals among us : how to recognize and change children’s antisocial behavior– before they explode / by Gad Czudner.
IMPRINT Far Hills, N.J. : New Horizon Press, c1999.
DESCRIPT 196 p. ; 24 cm.
NOTE Includes bibliographical references (p. 193-196)
SUBJECT Problem children.
SUBJECT Behavior disorders in children.
SUBJECT Child rearing.
ISBN/ISSN 0882821806 (pbk.) : $14.95.
ISBN/ISSN 1271450031.
ISBN/ISSN 780882821801.

CALL # 618.9285882 H865r.
AUTHOR Howley, Marie.
TITLE Revealing the hidden social code : social stories for people with autistic spectrum disorders / Marie Howley and Eileen Arnold ; foreword by Carol Gray.
IMPRINT London ; Philadelphia : J. Kingsley Publishers, 2005.
DESCRIPT 160 p. : ill. ; 24 cm.
NOTE Includes bibliographical references (p. 151-155) and indexes.
SUBJECT Autistic children — Education.
SUBJECT Autistic children — Rehabilitation.
SUBJECT Autistic children — Behavior modification.
SUBJECT Social skills in children — Study and teaching.
SUBJECT Narration (Rhetoric) — Psychological aspects.
SUBJECT Narrative therapy.
ALT AUTHOR Arnold, Eileen, 1944-
ISBN/ISSN 1843102226 (pbk. : alk. paper)
ISBN/ISSN 9781843102229.

CALL # 649.1 E481u.
AUTHOR Elman, Natalie Madorsky.
TITLE The unwritten rules of friendship : simple strategies to help your child make friends / by Natalie Madorsky Elman and Eileen Kennedy-Moore.
EDITION 1st ed.
IMPRINT Boston : Little, Brown, c2003.
DESCRIPT xi, 340 p. : ill. ; 21 cm.
NOTE Includes bibliographical references (p. [317]-324) and index.
SUBJECT Friendship in children.
SUBJECT Social skills in children.
SUBJECT Child rearing.
ALT AUTHOR Kennedy-Moore, Eileen.
ISBN/ISSN 9780316917308 (trade pbk.)
ISBN/ISSN 0316917303 (trade pbk.)

CALL # 618.928588 N822q.
AUTHOR Norall, Cynthia La Brie.
TITLE Quirky, yes–hopeless, no : practical tips to help your child with Asperger’s syndrome be more socially accepted / Cynthia La Brie Norall, with Beth Wagner Brust.
EDITION 1st ed.
IMPRINT New York : St. Martin’s Griffin, 2009.
DESCRIPT xxv, 354 p. ; 24 cm.
NOTE Includes bibliographical references and index.
SUBJECT Asperger’s syndrome in children — Popular works.
SUBJECT Asperger’s syndrome in children — Social aspects.
ALT AUTHOR Brust, Beth Wagner.
ISBN/ISSN 9780312558499 (pbk.)
ISBN/ISSN 031255849X (pbk.)

CALL # 362.1968982 W714p.
AUTHOR Willey, Liane Holliday.
TITLE Pretending to be normal : living with Asperger’s syndrome / Liane Holliday Willey ; foreword by Tony Attwood.
IMPRINT London ; Philadelphia : Jessica Kingsley, 1999.
DESCRIPT 175 p. ; 23 cm.
NOTE Includes bibliographic references ( p. 175 )
SUBJECT Willey, Liane Holliday.
SUBJECT Asperger’s syndrome — Patients — Biography.
SUBJECT Asperger’s syndrome — Popular works.
ISBN/ISSN 1853027499.

CALL # 616.85 C281a.
AUTHOR Carley, Michael John.
TITLE Asperger’s from the inside out : a supportive and practical guide for anyone with Asperger’s syndrome / Michael John Carley ; foreword by Peter F. Gerhardt.
EDITION 1st ed.
IMPRINT New York : Perigee, 2008.
DESCRIPT xvii, 252 p. ; 20 cm.
SUBJECT Asperger’s syndrome — Popular works.
ISBN/ISSN 9780399533976.
ISBN/ISSN 0399533974.

CALL # 616.85882 G753w.
AUTHOR Grandin, Temple.
TITLE The way I see it : a personal look at autism and Asperger’s / Temple Grandin.
IMPRINT Arlington, Tex. : Future Horizons Inc c2008.
DESCRIPT xxxi, 260 p. : ill. ; 23 cm.
NOTE Includes bibliographical references and index.
NOTE Grandin offers helpful do’s and don’ts, practical strategies, and
try-it-now tips, all based on her “insider” perspective and a
great deal of research.
SUBJECT Autism.
SUBJECT Asperger’s syndrome.
SUBJECT Autism in children.
SUBJECT Asperger’s syndrome in children.
ISBN/ISSN 9781932565720.
ISBN/ISSN 1932565728.

CALL # 371.9 H3432c 2001.
AUTHOR Harwell, Joan M., 1936-
TITLE Complete learning disabilities handbook : ready-to-use strategies & activities for teaching students with learning disabilities / Joan M. Harwell.
ISBN/ISSN 0130325627 (pbk.)

CALL # 618.9285 K897o 2005.
AUTHOR Kranowitz, Carol Stock.
TITLE The out-of-sync child : recognizing and coping with sensory
processing disorder / Carol Stock Kranowitz.
NOTE Includes bibliographical references (p. 333-346) and index.
SUBJECT Minimal brain dysfunction in children.
SUBJECT Sensorimotor integration.
SUBJECT Perceptual-motor learning.
ISBN/ISSN 9780399531651 (trade pbk.)
ISBN/ISSN 0399531653 (trade pbk.)
ISBN/ISSN 9780399523861.
ISBN/ISSN 0399523863.

CALL # 613.7 G212i
AUTHOR Garabedian, Helen
TITLE Itsy Bitsy Yoga for toddlers and preschoolers : 8-minute routines to help your child grow smarter, be happier, and behave better / Helen Garabedian
IMPRINT Cambridge, MA : Da Capo/Lifelong, c2008
DESCRIPT 216 p. : ill. ; 24 cm
SUBJECT Hatha yoga for children, Exercise for children ISBN 9781600940088, 1600940080

Asperger’s Rules – by Blythe Grossberg