Home » Posts tagged 'Jesus' (Page 10)

Tag Archives: Jesus

React (another retreat missive)

Posted on by | Leave a comment

I want to always respond quickly to God’s call. I often hesitate. I’m not sure if it is God. I’m not sure I have the ability. I’m not sure in general.

I don’t want to do something wrong. I don’t want to get involved. I think I’m going to get in over my head. I think I’m going to say the wrong thing.

But I’m trying. I’m testing the waters. I don’t want to run away from God, because I feel that I’ll stop being called. And I am more afraid of not being called than looking goofy when I am responding to a call.

I’m getting more trusting. I’m learning that the pre-call is part of the call. God warms me up for it. It isn’t “jump,” it is more like “I’m going to tell you to jump in a little bit, so get ready.”

It is like telling a perpetually late child that you need to leave the house in 30 minutes, when really 45 minutes is ok.

God is learning how to deal with me, and I’m learning how to deal with God. I suspect this is going to be a lifelong thing between God and me. There aren’t a lot of instruction manuals for this, but then I have a feeling that God will tell me what I need to know when I need to know it, and in a way I need to know it. God knows me better than anyone.

(I started this midafternoon of the retreat that was in September. I added more to it tonight)

On Judas – forgiven, friend, follower.

Posted on by | Leave a comment

It had to be hard to be Judas. He didn’t want to be the bad guy. There aren’t any saint medals for him. Yet if it weren’t for Judas, the prophecy wouldn’t have been fulfilled. Throughout history, Judas is known as the traitor, the betrayer of Jesus. We forget that Jesus didn’t condemn him. Jesus accepted what had to be done. If Jesus can forgive Judas, shouldn’t we?

In Matthew 10:1-4 we read
10 Jesus called his twelve disciples to him and gave them authority to drive out impure spirits and to heal every disease and sickness.2 These are the names of the twelve apostles: first, Simon (who is called Peter) and his brother Andrew; James son of Zebedee, and his brother John; 3 Philip and Bartholomew; Thomas and Matthew the tax collector; James son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus; 4 Simon the Zealot and Judas Iscariot, who betrayed him.

But then read this – It wasn’t Judas’ idea to betray Jesus.

Luke 22:1-6
Now the Festival of Unleavened Bread, called the Passover, was approaching, 2 and the chief priests and the teachers of the law were looking for some way to get rid of Jesus, for they were afraid of the people. 3 Then Satan entered Judas, called Iscariot, one of the Twelve.4 And Judas went to the chief priests and the officers of the temple guard and discussed with them how he might betray Jesus. 5 They were delighted and agreed to give him money. 6 He consented, and watched for an opportunity to hand Jesus over to them when no crowd was present.

Did you catch that? In verse 3 – “Then Satan entered Judas…”
Imagine Judas. There he is, possessed by this crazy feeling. He wasn’t himself. He wasn’t thinking straight. Here he was looking for ways to betray his friend, his Savior. This wasn’t like him. He had to feel really strange.

Jesus knew what was going to happen. It was foreordained. Jesus didn’t blame Judas at all. Jesus accepted what was going to happen. He felt sorry for Judas.

Matthew 26:20-25
20 When evening came, Jesus was reclining at the table with the Twelve. 21 And while they were eating, he said, “Truly I tell you, one of you will betray me.” 22 They were very sad and began to say to him one after the other, “Surely you don’t mean me, Lord?” 23 Jesus replied, “The one who has dipped his hand into the bowl with me will betray me. 24 The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him. But woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born.” 25 Then Judas, the one who would betray him, said, “Surely you don’t mean me, Rabbi?” Jesus answered, “You have said so.”

Jesus knew, and forgave Judas. Jesus calls him “Friend” – not enemy. Judas did what he was called to do.

Matthew 26:47-50
47 While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, arrived. With him was a large crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests and the elders of the people. 48 Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him.”49 Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed him. 50 Jesus replied, “Do what you came for, friend.” Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him.
Jesus called Judas “friend”. Not enemy. Friend. That is really important.

Jesus knew it had to happen this way. He didn’t fight against it. He knew that the Scripture had to be fulfilled. So Judas isn’t the bad guy. He’s just an actor playing a part. God is the director.

When the soldiers come to arrest him, one drew a sword and cut off the high priest’s ear.

In Mark 14-48-50
48 “Am I leading a rebellion,” said Jesus, “that you have come out with swords and clubs to capture me? 49 Every day I was with you, teaching in the temple courts, and you did not arrest me. But the Scriptures must be fulfilled.” 50 Then everyone deserted him and fled.

Here’s another take on the same story proving that Jesus knew things had to be this way. This is at the same point in the story, where the high priest’s ear was cut off. Peter leaps to defend Jesus by pulling out his sword.

John 18:11
11 Jesus commanded Peter, “Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?”

Just after Jesus is taken away, Judas realizes the error. He didn’t think Jesus was going to be killed. He thought he’d just make a quick buck and make the authorities happy. He kills himself. This fulfilled a prophecy is fulfilled, and is yet more proof that Judas was simply acting under the will of God. He wasn’t acting under his own power.

Matthew 27:1-10
Early in the morning, all the chief priests and the elders of the people made their plans how to have Jesus executed. 2 So they bound him, led him away and handed him over to Pilate the governor. 3 When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. 4 “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.” “What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.” 5 So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself. 6 The chief priests picked up the coins and said, “It is against the law to put this into the treasury, since it is blood money.” 7 So they decided to use the money to buy the potter’s field as a burial place for foreigners. 8 That is why it has been called the Field of Blood to this day. 9 Then what was spoken by Jeremiah the prophet was fulfilled: “They took the thirty pieces of silver, the price set on him by the people of Israel, 10 and they used them to buy the potter’s field, as the Lord commanded me.”

It was prophesied. It had to happen.

Jesus didn’t have a problem with Judas. He didn’t blame him. Jesus prayed for all his disciples, including Judas, on the night he was betrayed.

John 17:6-18
6 “I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. 7 Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. 8 For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. 9 I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. 10 All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them. 11 I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name, the name you gave me, so that they may be one as we are one. 12 While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled. 13 “I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. 14 I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. 15 My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. 16 They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. 17 Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. 18 As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. 19 For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.

Before this, at the Passover, (The Last Supper), Jesus says this to Simon (Peter) in Luke 22:31-32
31 “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. 32 But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”

Jesus wasn’t against any of them. Jesus loved and prayed for them all. He gave all of them powers. He didn’t want to divide them.

How many of us would be willing to be used like Judas was? We think we are in control, when we forget that it is always God who is in control. We are the clay in the potter’s hand.

Isaiah 64-8
Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.

We aren’t in charge. We never were.

Judas wasn’t the bad guy. Judas was fulfilling the role that God gave him. Jesus calls him “Friend”. Jesus didn’t hate Judas, and neither should we. If it weren’t for Judas, Jesus would not have died the way he had to die – and remember he had to die in order to be raised from the dead.

Jesus was the sacrificial lamb. Judas just led him to the slaughter. He was fulfilling the role that was assigned to him by God. When he realized what he had done, he killed himself. He didn’t mean to – he was being used.

Let us forgive Judas, and be more kind to people (and ourselves). We never know who is doing the will of God, unbeknownst to them or us. Let us be the kind of disciples that are willing to follow God, even if it means our own destruction.

John 3:17 – Jesus came not to condemn…

Posted on by | 3 Comments

So many Christians like to quote John 3:16. You know it. “16 For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

They don’t go on to quote the next line. John 3:17 is really powerful. “17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”

Jesus didn’t come to condemn us.

He came to let us know that we are loved and forgiven and needed and beautiful. He came to let us know that we are precious right now, as we are.

We aren’t sinners. We aren’t guilty. We aren’t to blame.

We are human, and fallible, and faulty. We won’t ever get it right. And that is all right. That is who we are. That is part of the package deal we get with this human life.

Sure, we need to constantly examine our actions. Are we acting as well as we can? Are we trying to be kind to everyone? Are we treating everyone with kindness, regardless of their status or station?

Since Jesus came not to condemn, part of the job of Christians is to also not condemn. We must not judge. We have no business telling other people that their ways of living are wrong.

We have to examine ourselves only. The rules for living are for us only. God calls people. They won’t seek God because we harass or berate them. Jesus doesn’t need people who follow him out of guilt. Remember, the Lord loves a cheerful giver.

Remember, go and sin no more. Once you know better, do better.

At least try.

And when you fail, try again. That too is part of the deal.

It isn’t the job of Christians to tell other people how to live their lives. It is the job of Christians to follow Jesus. Jesus didn’t berate others. So we shouldn’t either.

Snake parents

Posted on by | Leave a comment

Jesus tells us in Matthew 7:9-12
9 Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for bread, will give a stone? 10 Or if the child asks for a fish, will give a snake? 11 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him! 12 “In everything do to others as you would have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets.”

It certainly sounds like everyone was certainly very nice back in Jesus’ time. No child abuse then! Life isn’t that easy now. Plenty of parents are abusive. “Dysfunctional” is the new normal.

So how can you possibly even approach the idea of God the Father if your own father was a jerk? There are plenty of parents who give their children stones instead of bread and snakes instead of fishes. We read about them in the paper. We hear about them on the talk shows. They are the reason we have a Department of Human Services.

No wonder people don’t believe in God. They can’t possibly believe in God when their own parents abuse them. Their visible example of parents is horrible, so how can they get the idea of an invisible parent? If God is bigger and greater than your parents, then who would want a bigger and greater example of terrible?

Perhaps this is why so many people who call themselves Christians feel that “God hates…” (fill in the blank). God doesn’t hate. God loves. Perhaps they heard their parents tell them they weren’t worthy, they weren’t valuable, they weren’t loved. So they took the next logical step and decided if their own parents acted like this, then God did it more so.

But this isn’t God. God seeks us out. God searches for us, individually, like the lost sheep, like the lost coin, like the lost son. God cares about us personally and deeply.

It might be helpful to throw away the notion of God as being just like our parents, but more so. God is love, perfected. God created us because we are needed. None of us are accidents. We are all wanted.

Let us hear the words of Jesus in Luke 15:1-24

First He tells us about the lost sheep.
1Now the tax collectors and sinners were all gathering around to hear Jesus. 2 But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.” 3 Then Jesus told them this parable: 4 “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 5 And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders 6 and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ 7 I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

Then He goes on to tell us about the lost coin.

8 “Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Doesn’t she light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? 9 And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.’ 10 In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

Then He tells us about the lost son.

11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. 13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. 17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. 21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate.24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.”

Jesus tells us three stories, but they are all the same story. They are the story of God’s relentless, unfailing love for us. God is constantly seeking us. God is above and beyond our human conception of love. God is the source of love, and the source of us.

Know that you are loved, beyond measure.

The beginning of awakening…

Posted on by | Leave a comment

I am always amused when strangers quote Paul to me to justify why every word in the Bible is perfect, specifically that it is “God-breathed.” I’m not a Paulian, but so many people are. They love Paul because he’s against everything they are against.

Paul was against women who asked questions and against gay people in general. He was also against marriage, but people seem to forget that. Paul was all about everybody being single and celibate.

Somehow people are getting confused by my posts, which is the last thing I want. I’m for the Bible. I am Christian. I also believe that God is so big and so amazing that all sacred texts have the “breath of God” in them. I believe that God loves us all, across time and across cultures, and has tried to reach us all in various ways throughout history and all over the world. I believe that God is still revealing truth to us.

I don’t expect everybody to follow along with me when I say these things. I’m no Bible scholar. I’m not an expert in anything. I have no credentials. So if you don’t agree with me there is no reason to get your bloomers in a twist. Arguing with me in the comments section won’t further your belief system. I encourage you to write your own blog post. You’ll reach more people.

It is my belief. My opinion. I’m not going to back it up with “proof” or quote chapter and verse. If people get it and agree with me, great. If they don’t, I’m not going to argue with them.

Jesus says “If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet. (Matthew 10:14)

Either you get it or you don’t.

My view of God is bigger than a book. My view of God is bigger than any denomination or creed. My view of God isn’t locked down to any one belief system. God is bigger than all of that.

“The name that can be named is not the eternal name.” – Lao Tzu.

If you feel a need to argue and debate, stop. Think. Why are you so upset about this? What makes you feel like you have to fight these ideas?

Is it perhaps that deep down you are afraid I’m right?

The beginning of awakening is heralded by just such a struggle.

word/Word

Posted on by | 6 Comments

In the Episcopal church, as part of becoming a priest, you have to agree to this statement- “The Bible contains everything necessary for salvation.”

I have a hard time with this. I find awakening and enlightenment to be found in sacred texts from all around the world. I think that God didn’t put all the eggs in one basket. I think that there are way more people on this earth that God wants to reach than just those who have been exposed to the Bible. So I don’t think the Bible is the only pathway to God.

Also, it assumes that God has no intervention going on. I have a hard time believing that you can just read this particular book and you will be saved. What about the intervention of the Holy Spirit? What about coming to know Jesus as your friend? These are not mentioned.

Actually, if all you have to do to get saved is read the Bible, then you don’t need priests at all. Somehow I doubt they have thought about that.

It sounds like idolatry to say that the Bible contains everything necessary for salvation. This sounds like they are worshipping a book, and not the source of the words. The paper is more important than the flesh and blood that is Jesus.

They are worshipping the words and not the Word.

Possessed pigs.

Posted on by | Leave a comment

Jesus wasn’t always appreciated for healing people. He healed two people who were possessed by demons, and the townspeople begged him to leave the town.

In Matthew 8:28-34 (NRSV) we read that –
“28 When he came to the other side, to the country of the Gadarenes, two demoniacs coming out of the tombs met him. They were so fierce that no one could pass that way. 29 Suddenly they shouted, “What have you to do with us, Son of God? Have you come here to torment us before the time?” 30 Now a large herd of swine was feeding at some distance from them. 31 The demons begged him, “If you cast us out, send us into the herd of swine.” 32 And he said to them, “Go!” So they came out and entered the swine; and suddenly, the whole herd rushed down the steep bank into the sea and perished in the water. 33 The swineherds ran off, and on going into the town, they told the whole story about what had happened to the demoniacs. 34 Then the whole town came out to meet Jesus; and when they saw him, they begged him to leave their neighborhood.”

I always find it interesting that the people who recognize Jesus as the Son of God are always the possessed ones. Everybody else had to figure it out the hard way, if they figured it out at all. Many times Jesus tells those who recognize him to not tell anybody. He wants to keep a low profile.

But there is no hiding when you kill off a bunch of pigs.

Sure, these two people were possessed. They weren’t just a problem to themselves, they were a problem to others. They were “so fierce that no one could pass that way.” When he cast out the demons and they went into the nearby herd of pigs, the people went back to being normal. The pigs were not. The pigs drowned themselves.

I can see how this would be a problem. The town had probably already written off these two people who were possessed. They were just the crazy folk who stand at the edge of town and yell at people. This happens sometimes.

But pigs, now, that’s starting to get into money. They were being raised for sale. When the whole herd jumps off a cliff, that is a lot of money jumping off a cliff too. Sure the townspeople were ticked off.

Forget that two members of their town were now restored to sanity.

Forget that a miracle just occurred.

How often do we do this today? How often do we get our priorities mixed up? How often do we see how things affect us and forget to see the big picture?

Lots.

People are meant to be loved, and things are meant to be used.
All too often we get that backwards.

Prayer releases us.

Posted on by | Leave a comment

As part of my daily practice I read the readings in the Daily Office. It is the Bible, broken up into an Old Testament, an Epistle (or letter), and a Gospel reading. You will have read the majority of the Bible if you read the Daily Office over the course of several years. The readings are sequential, so it is amazing how often there is a common theme. It is as if the Bible isn’t just a series of stories, but a telescope, with each subsequent level of story bringing the real story into sharper focus. The themes repeat across time, going from the general to the specific, going from back then to right now.

God is always present, always listening to us. Wherever we are in our journey, God is with us. Whatever is going on is not the final answer. Pray, and God has the ability to change the situation.

I’ve shortened these readings to boil them down to the essential point today.

In 2 Kings 20:1-7 (NRSV) we read –
1 In those days Hezekiah became sick and was at the point of death. The prophet Isaiah son of Amoz came to him, and said to him, “Thus says the LORD: Set your house in order, for you shall die; you shall not recover.” 2 Then Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the LORD: 3 “Remember now, O LORD, I implore you, how I have walked before you in faithfulness with a whole heart, and have done what is good in your sight.” Hezekiah wept bitterly. 4 Before Isaiah had gone out of the middle court, came to him: 5 “Turn back, and say to Hezekiah prince of my people, Thus says the LORD, the God of your ancestor David: I have heard your prayer, I have seen your tears; indeed, I will heal you; on the third day you shall go up to the house of the LORD. 6 I will add fifteen years to your life. I will deliver you and this city out of the hand of the king of Assyria; I will defend this city for my own sake and for my servant David’s sake.” 7 Then Isaiah said, “Bring a lump of figs. Let them take it and apply it to the boil, so that he may recover.”

Hezekiah was about to die, but he prayed, and God listened to him and added fifteen years to his life.

In the New Testament we read in Acts 12:1-11 (NRSV)
1 About that time King Herod laid violent hands upon some who belonged to the church. 2 He had James, the brother of John, killed with the sword. 3 After he saw that it pleased the Jews, he proceeded to arrest Peter also. (This was during the festival of Unleavened Bread.) 4 When he had seized him, he put him in prison and handed him over to four squads of soldiers to guard him, intending to bring him out to the people after the Passover. 5 While Peter was kept in prison, the church prayed fervently to God for him. 6 The very night before Herod was going to bring him out, Peter, bound with two chains, was sleeping between two soldiers, while guards in front of the door were keeping watch over the prison. 7 Suddenly an angel of the Lord appeared and a light shone in the cell. He tapped Peter on the side and woke him, saying, “Get up quickly.” And the chains fell off his wrists. 8 The angel said to him, “Fasten your belt and put on your sandals.” He did so. Then he said to him, “Wrap your cloak around you and follow me.” 9 Peter went out and followed him; he did not realize that what was happening with the angel’s help was real; he thought he was seeing a vision. 10 After they had passed the first and the second guard, they came before the iron gate leading into the city. It opened for them of its own accord, and they went outside and walked along a lane, when suddenly the angel left him. 11 Then Peter came to himself and said, “Now I am sure that the Lord has sent his angel and rescued me from the hands of Herod and from all that the Jewish people were expecting.”

The church prayed for Peter to be freed from prison, and God sent an angel to lead him out of jail safely.

And then we read a story of Jesus in Luke 7:11-17 (NRSV)
11 Soon afterwards he went to a town called Nain, and his disciples and a large crowd went with him. 12 As he approached the gate of the town, a man who had died was being carried out. He was his mother’s only son, and she was a widow; and with her was a large crowd from the town. 13 When the Lord saw her, he had compassion for her and said to her, “Do not weep.” 14 Then he came forward and touched the bier, and the bearers stood still. And he said, “Young man, I say to you, rise!” 15 The dead man sat up and began to speak, and Jesus gave him to his mother. 16 Fear seized all of them; and they glorified God, saying, “A great prophet has risen among us!” and “God has looked favorably on his people!” 17 This word about him spread throughout Judea and all the surrounding country.

The man was dead. He was being carried out of his home. Jesus called to him and he revived.

This is the same story, over and over. What we think is the end isn’t the end. Sometimes it is the beginning of an amazing story. God has the power to release a person, however that person is trapped. It makes no difference whether it is sickness or prison or death. In all those cases all we humans see is a “closed” sign. God sees it as an opportunity. It makes no difference whether we pray, the church prays, or Jesus prays – release is release. As Christians, we believe that Jesus is constantly praying for us, constantly being our intermediary with God.

In liturgical churches, the words “The Word of the Lord” are said at the end of each reading. The people then reply “Thanks be to God”.

Thanks indeed.

Let us give thanks for these stories that point us to our knowledge of a living and loving God, who is always present to us. It is through these words that we come to know the living Word.

“Be anxious for nothing.”

Posted on by | Leave a comment

Be anxious for nothing. Fear not.

Jesus tells us to not worry, not be anxious. So what does it mean to not be anxious? Be perfect? We can’t be perfect. That isn’t possible for humans. And trying to not be anxious makes me anxious. I get all wound up about how wound up I feel, and then I wind myself up even more.

There has to be another way through this or into this.

Both my parents were anxious. My Mom lit up a new cigarette every twenty minutes. When she had to quit because she got lung cancer the anxiety was still there. In fact it was worse.

Her coping method had caused her problem. When we took it away she was of course worried and anxious about her cancer, but she didn’t know what to do. She’d reached for a cigarette every time she felt the least twinge of a bad feeling. She still had all the anxiety that she had before she had cancer, with the added anxiety of cancer on top of that. It overwhelmed her.

I stepped in. I gave her massages every time she wanted to smoke. I gave her some creative visualization techniques to try. We worked on breathing. In the end she still felt that she needed some outside means to calm down, so she got put on Valium. It wasn’t called Valium – it was Elavil. Same thing, new name. It was a benzodiazepine. I find it interesting that she didn’t want to take her pain pills because she was afraid she would become dependent on them, but she happily took those mood drugs.

My Dad was the same way. He smoked himself to death too. He was on various drugs from his shrink as well. He was constantly nervous. He too didn’t know how to deal with his feelings.

Perhaps anxiety is “normal” for my family. Perhaps it is the same as needing glasses. Perhaps it is hereditary in the same way that being short is.

I am anxious. I have been for years. I used to smoke pot and clove cigarettes to calm down. I finally decided I needed to grow up and quit doing these dangerous and expensive things, so now I drink a glass of wine with supper instead.

I have other stress-busting techniques. I walk. I work out. I do yoga and write and walk and draw. I used to do most of those every morning before work. Then I’d not do all of them because I was running short on time and I’d freak out and think I was slacking. Somehow I got to the point where I’d realize that just trying to cram all those activities in every morning was causing more problems and more anxiety.

Funny how the things we do to relax can end up causing us more problems.

So I prayed.

And I got back that perhaps my anxiety isn’t something to be anxious about. Perhaps it is who I am. Perhaps I need to face it and embrace it. See it as a gift and not a problem. Perhaps God needs me to feel this way, and is using this feeling as a pathway, an opening.

Perhaps I need to see my “anxiety” as not a problem, but just a feeling. Or perhaps see it as the same as my need to wear glasses, or that I’m shorter than the average person. It isn’t a defect. It is my normal.

God doesn’t want us to compare ourselves to anybody else, either good or bad. God loves us exactly the way we are. God made us this way.

Be anxious for nothing. Fear not.

“I’ve commanded you to be strong and brave. Don’t ever be afraid or discouraged. I am the LORD your God, and I will be there to help you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9

Water and Words – on infant baptism.

Posted on by | Leave a comment

I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’m against infant baptism. I’m cool with some ceremony where the parents commit to raising the child as a Christian, and ask for the help of the Church to keep them on track.

But I don’t get the purpose of actually baptizing their child.

There are way too many people who get their child baptized and then leave the church. There are also stories of grandparents who are concerned that neither parent is Christian. They take the child to a church on the weekend they have the kid and get her baptized, unbeknownst to the parents. There are also stories of parents whose child is gravely ill and they ask for an emergency baptism.

In all these instances they aren’t planning on raising the child as a Christian. There is something else going on. Do they think that there is something magical and protective that happens when a child is baptized with water?

Jesus never baptized anybody with water. Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to his disciples after he ascended into heaven. The water is just a symbol. It isn’t the real thing. It is the commitment to following Jesus that matters. We need ceremonies to let us know that a change has occurred. We need ceremonies like we need doorways, to show us transition and evolution. Baptism is a ceremony, but it marks a change that occurs within the person. Just pouring water on someone and saying some words doesn’t make them a follower of Jesus.

It seems like idol worship for people to baptize their children. It seems like they think that words and water will do the trick. It seems like they think that that is all there is to it. Get baptized, and you’re in the club.

But baptism should be a choice of the person, not something done to you. I think that deciding to follow Jesus is too important for someone to do it for you. It is like deciding to be vegetarian. That is a major choice. Your parents may think that being vegetarian is something that you should do for your own good, much like following Jesus. But if you aren’t in agreement with it, you aren’t going to keep doing it once you are out of their house.

Then again, you can get baptized with water and it doesn’t mean anything. You still aren’t connected, you still don’t get it. It isn’t the water or the words. It is the Holy Spirit that makes it work.

The Holy Spirit baptizes. That is like being upgraded from a 110 to a 220, like being transformed from a garden hose to a fire hose. It is overwhelming. When you’ve been touched by the Holy Spirit you are never the same again.

Let us stop baptizing children. They aren’t able to make that decision, and it is too important for it to be made for them. Let us remember that God is the one who saves us, through Jesus and the Holy Spirit. It isn’t the water. It isn’t our words.