Resolution. On gossip

Making a real resolution to stop saying anything negative or stop gossiping is like making a resolution to stop drinking. It is turning from something bad to something good.

But the problem is that all my old “drinking” buddies are still drinking. All the people who still like to gossip and say negative things are still going to come up to me and try and drag me into it. I can tell them that I no longer want to be part of that life but it doesn’t matter. They haven’t made that decision that they don’t want to be part of that life.

So what they’re doing is what they’ve always done. They don’t realize that they are weakening my resolve. They don’t realize that when they try to get me to gossip that it is like trying to get me to drink. I tell them I’ve sworn off the stuff and they still don’t get it. They don’t know how to be my friend unless they are gossiping. So sometimes it means that they don’t talk to me at all.

I’m sad for them, that they don’t know how to talk in a healthy manner.

Gossip isn’t just speaking negatively about someone. It is repeating what someone said without them present. It is spreading information that didn’t need to be spread. If I have a private conversation with someone, I don’t want to hear about it from someone else. They weren’t in the room when the conversation happened. If they weren’t invited when the conversation happened, then they shouldn’t have it repeated to them.

Celebrity

We pay way too much attention to celebrities. Why do we care who they married or divorced? Why is it our business who went in rehab? What does it matter what they think about politics or health?

A celebrity is just an actor, or a musician, or an athlete. It is a job. Just because we see their faces bigger than life and all the time does not mean that we need to pay attention to their every move. Being a celebrity should not mean that we are privy to their private lives. It also does not mean that they are experts at anything.

It is entirely reasonable that the reason celebrities have such insane lives is because of all the attention. Paparazzi create the monster. We feed the monster by reading the tabloids and repeating the gossip. Let them be. Let them have their privacy.

Celebrities should be known for their skill, not their private life and their personal problems or their opinions. Sure, we can get upset at the media for selling us this garbage, but we are to blame too. If we didn’t buy it they wouldn’t sell it. We buy it by reading it or talking about it. Even if we don’t spend money on it, we spend energy on it. The more energy we give it, the more the media will provide it.

Don’t talk about celebrities (or anyone else) unless it is to talk about their skill. Talk about their latest film or song you like. Notice I said “that you like” Don’t give energy to anything bad. Saw a totally tasteless dance from a former teen star? Don’t talk about it. Negative press is still press. Public shaming is still attention. Ignore it. Pretend it didn’t happen. That way, that kind of behavior will stop.

Why do we consider celebrities to be experts on anything? We often give celebrities the same attention we give a doctor when it comes to advice about exercise and health. We listen to another about how to prevent and cure autism. We listen to another about how to manage our finances and another about who to vote for. Why? They are amateurs. They may have read up on the topic. They may have had a life experience that has given them an insight, but neither of these things equals any real qualifications or credentials.

Remember the commercial – “I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV.” In that, he wasn’t trying to get you to listen to what he was saying because he played a doctor. He was trying to point out that we “play doctor” with our health sometimes and we do something because it sounds good, not because it is good. But somehow the message got turned around, and we started listening to celebrity endorsements more than those of actual experts.

Being famous and beautiful does not equal intelligence and learning.

We are being sold lies wrapped up in pretty paper. We are being sold flash and not substance. It is all about the sparkle and not about the substance.

Let the celebrities be famous for what they do, for their trade. Let them sing and dance and act. Everything else, ignore.