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“But I’m not judgmental!”

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People will say “but I’m not judgmental!” in the same way they will say “I’m not racist!” and then tell a racist joke.

They say they aren’t judgmental after saying that they are against someone because they are gay. I know a lady who refuses to go to a certain denomination of church because it has an openly gay bishop. She doesn’t go to any church, and is living with the father of her child. They are not married. So “being gay” is worse in her mind than what she is doing.

I asked this lady “What does Jesus say about homosexuality?” She stammered “You tell me”, because she didn’t know. The answer – “Nothing”. Jesus said nothing about homosexuality, but He said a lot about not judging others.

He said “Judge not, lest ye be judged”.

He said to not point out the speck in your neighbor’s eye, but examine the plank in your own.

He said that whatever measure you use will be used against you.

The role of the Christian is to be like Jesus, and Jesus was about radical acceptance. Jesus took in all that came to him. We are to be examples of that love by how we live our lives. We are to be welcoming. We are to be servants.

We are not gatekeepers or guards. We don’t get to decide who is on or out. We don’t get to tell people off.

The funny part about being part of the Body of Christ is that we are members with prisoners and tax evaders and alcoholics and wife beaters and the average everyday jerk.

That is kind of hard to accept for some people. They think that being Christian is like being part of some elite social club, where only the cream of the crop get in.

Their logic goes something like this – “If Jesus lets “them” in, then that means we are just like them, and we don’t like the idea of being just like them, because they are sinners. We don’t want to be associated with them.”

Then the reality sets in.

Jesus came to heal the sick, not the well. We are all sinners. And we are all redeemed. There is room enough for us all. Once we become Christian, we don’t stop being us, with all our faults. We don’t start being perfect. We just start realizing that we are all loved the way we are because that is the way that God made us.

Jesus calls us when we are broken, not when we are perfect.

Jesus erases all lines of “them” and “us”. We are all one.

It is our job to make people want to come to this healing, this forgiveness, this acceptance. We are to welcome all in the name of Jesus. They won’t come if we are pointing fingers and calling down the wrath of heaven on them. Think back to what drew you to Jesus. I bet it wasn’t someone yelling at you that got you there.

This doesn’t mean that we need to water down the message of Jesus – not at all. This means that we are to live it.

On Judas – forgiven, friend, follower.

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It had to be hard to be Judas. He didn’t want to be the bad guy. There aren’t any saint medals for him. Yet if it weren’t for Judas, the prophecy wouldn’t have been fulfilled. Throughout history, Judas is known as the traitor, the betrayer of Jesus. We forget that Jesus didn’t condemn him. Jesus accepted what had to be done. If Jesus can forgive Judas, shouldn’t we?

In Matthew 10:1-4 we read
10 Jesus called his twelve disciples to him and gave them authority to drive out impure spirits and to heal every disease and sickness.2 These are the names of the twelve apostles: first, Simon (who is called Peter) and his brother Andrew; James son of Zebedee, and his brother John; 3 Philip and Bartholomew; Thomas and Matthew the tax collector; James son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus; 4 Simon the Zealot and Judas Iscariot, who betrayed him.

But then read this – It wasn’t Judas’ idea to betray Jesus.

Luke 22:1-6
Now the Festival of Unleavened Bread, called the Passover, was approaching, 2 and the chief priests and the teachers of the law were looking for some way to get rid of Jesus, for they were afraid of the people. 3 Then Satan entered Judas, called Iscariot, one of the Twelve.4 And Judas went to the chief priests and the officers of the temple guard and discussed with them how he might betray Jesus. 5 They were delighted and agreed to give him money. 6 He consented, and watched for an opportunity to hand Jesus over to them when no crowd was present.

Did you catch that? In verse 3 – “Then Satan entered Judas…”
Imagine Judas. There he is, possessed by this crazy feeling. He wasn’t himself. He wasn’t thinking straight. Here he was looking for ways to betray his friend, his Savior. This wasn’t like him. He had to feel really strange.

Jesus knew what was going to happen. It was foreordained. Jesus didn’t blame Judas at all. Jesus accepted what was going to happen. He felt sorry for Judas.

Matthew 26:20-25
20 When evening came, Jesus was reclining at the table with the Twelve. 21 And while they were eating, he said, “Truly I tell you, one of you will betray me.” 22 They were very sad and began to say to him one after the other, “Surely you don’t mean me, Lord?” 23 Jesus replied, “The one who has dipped his hand into the bowl with me will betray me. 24 The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him. But woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born.” 25 Then Judas, the one who would betray him, said, “Surely you don’t mean me, Rabbi?” Jesus answered, “You have said so.”

Jesus knew, and forgave Judas. Jesus calls him “Friend” – not enemy. Judas did what he was called to do.

Matthew 26:47-50
47 While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, arrived. With him was a large crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests and the elders of the people. 48 Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him.”49 Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed him. 50 Jesus replied, “Do what you came for, friend.” Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him.
Jesus called Judas “friend”. Not enemy. Friend. That is really important.

Jesus knew it had to happen this way. He didn’t fight against it. He knew that the Scripture had to be fulfilled. So Judas isn’t the bad guy. He’s just an actor playing a part. God is the director.

When the soldiers come to arrest him, one drew a sword and cut off the high priest’s ear.

In Mark 14-48-50
48 “Am I leading a rebellion,” said Jesus, “that you have come out with swords and clubs to capture me? 49 Every day I was with you, teaching in the temple courts, and you did not arrest me. But the Scriptures must be fulfilled.” 50 Then everyone deserted him and fled.

Here’s another take on the same story proving that Jesus knew things had to be this way. This is at the same point in the story, where the high priest’s ear was cut off. Peter leaps to defend Jesus by pulling out his sword.

John 18:11
11 Jesus commanded Peter, “Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?”

Just after Jesus is taken away, Judas realizes the error. He didn’t think Jesus was going to be killed. He thought he’d just make a quick buck and make the authorities happy. He kills himself. This fulfilled a prophecy is fulfilled, and is yet more proof that Judas was simply acting under the will of God. He wasn’t acting under his own power.

Matthew 27:1-10
Early in the morning, all the chief priests and the elders of the people made their plans how to have Jesus executed. 2 So they bound him, led him away and handed him over to Pilate the governor. 3 When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. 4 “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.” “What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.” 5 So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself. 6 The chief priests picked up the coins and said, “It is against the law to put this into the treasury, since it is blood money.” 7 So they decided to use the money to buy the potter’s field as a burial place for foreigners. 8 That is why it has been called the Field of Blood to this day. 9 Then what was spoken by Jeremiah the prophet was fulfilled: “They took the thirty pieces of silver, the price set on him by the people of Israel, 10 and they used them to buy the potter’s field, as the Lord commanded me.”

It was prophesied. It had to happen.

Jesus didn’t have a problem with Judas. He didn’t blame him. Jesus prayed for all his disciples, including Judas, on the night he was betrayed.

John 17:6-18
6 “I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. 7 Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. 8 For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. 9 I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. 10 All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them. 11 I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name, the name you gave me, so that they may be one as we are one. 12 While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled. 13 “I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. 14 I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. 15 My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. 16 They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. 17 Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. 18 As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. 19 For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.

Before this, at the Passover, (The Last Supper), Jesus says this to Simon (Peter) in Luke 22:31-32
31 “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. 32 But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”

Jesus wasn’t against any of them. Jesus loved and prayed for them all. He gave all of them powers. He didn’t want to divide them.

How many of us would be willing to be used like Judas was? We think we are in control, when we forget that it is always God who is in control. We are the clay in the potter’s hand.

Isaiah 64-8
Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.

We aren’t in charge. We never were.

Judas wasn’t the bad guy. Judas was fulfilling the role that God gave him. Jesus calls him “Friend”. Jesus didn’t hate Judas, and neither should we. If it weren’t for Judas, Jesus would not have died the way he had to die – and remember he had to die in order to be raised from the dead.

Jesus was the sacrificial lamb. Judas just led him to the slaughter. He was fulfilling the role that was assigned to him by God. When he realized what he had done, he killed himself. He didn’t mean to – he was being used.

Let us forgive Judas, and be more kind to people (and ourselves). We never know who is doing the will of God, unbeknownst to them or us. Let us be the kind of disciples that are willing to follow God, even if it means our own destruction.

John 3:17 – Jesus came not to condemn…

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So many Christians like to quote John 3:16. You know it. “16 For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

They don’t go on to quote the next line. John 3:17 is really powerful. “17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”

Jesus didn’t come to condemn us.

He came to let us know that we are loved and forgiven and needed and beautiful. He came to let us know that we are precious right now, as we are.

We aren’t sinners. We aren’t guilty. We aren’t to blame.

We are human, and fallible, and faulty. We won’t ever get it right. And that is all right. That is who we are. That is part of the package deal we get with this human life.

Sure, we need to constantly examine our actions. Are we acting as well as we can? Are we trying to be kind to everyone? Are we treating everyone with kindness, regardless of their status or station?

Since Jesus came not to condemn, part of the job of Christians is to also not condemn. We must not judge. We have no business telling other people that their ways of living are wrong.

We have to examine ourselves only. The rules for living are for us only. God calls people. They won’t seek God because we harass or berate them. Jesus doesn’t need people who follow him out of guilt. Remember, the Lord loves a cheerful giver.

Remember, go and sin no more. Once you know better, do better.

At least try.

And when you fail, try again. That too is part of the deal.

It isn’t the job of Christians to tell other people how to live their lives. It is the job of Christians to follow Jesus. Jesus didn’t berate others. So we shouldn’t either.

Forgetting, forgiveness

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I know a lady who refuses to go to a certain church because they are OK with gay people. And by OK I mean the denomination not only welcomes gay people but also has gay ministers.

She says that homosexuality isn’t Christian.

I asked her what Jesus said about homosexuality. She got a little defensive and paused. She then admitted that she wasn’t completely familiar with all of what Jesus said. When I told her that Jesus said nothing about being gay, but said a lot about loving other people and a lot about not judging, she got even more defensive.

I wasn’t winning over a convert here. She thinks I’m wrong, and I think she is wrong. She thinks I’m twisting the rules to say that something that she has been taught is wrong isn’t actually wrong. I think she is using religion as an excuse to be a bigot.

The ironic part is that she is living with the father of her child, but they aren’t married. Their daughter is three. So by the same bag of rules that she was handed by society, she too is a sinner.

But she isn’t. And neither are gay people. Or, we all are, and that debt is paid.

No matter how you do the math, it is OK.

On one side, Jesus gave us two rules – love God, and love our neighbor as ourselves. If whatever you are doing honors those things, then you are good. If it violates these things, then stop doing them.
But then here’s the other side. Jesus paid for all of our sins. All of them. For all time. Jesus totally got that it is really hard to be perfect. He got that it is very hard to be human. We make mistakes. We try. We fail again.

When Jesus said “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” he might as well have said to us “That’s OK – just try again to do it right the next time, but I know you won’t get it right, and that’s OK too.”

This doesn’t mean that we are off the hook. This doesn’t mean that we can do whatever we want and forget the consequences. We need to be mindful. But we need to also be patient with ourselves because we aren’t ever going to get it perfect.

Alexander Pope said “To err is human, to forgive divine.” This bears remembering.

Perhaps what people are afraid of about gay people being welcomed in church is that they think there won’t be room enough. They don’t want to share space with them. They think there won’t be room for them to be in church with all gay people there. Maybe they think that church is only for perfect people – ones who have it all figured out and are living a blameless life.

Maybe they forget that nobody’s perfect, and we are all forgiven.

Maybe they forget that we are all called to love, in the same way that Jesus loved us.

This, too, is forgiven, this forgetting.

Like

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I’m really trying to resist telling the lady in the waiting room at the car dealership that the reason people think she is so young is because she acts young. Young as in immature.

She says “like” way too much. “And I was like…” “And she was like…” “And they were like…”

How did we get to the point that we can no longer conjugate verbs?

“Like” should be used as a comparative. The Mini is like the VW bug. The Ford F150 is not like a Honda Civic. “Like” can be used to say that you are in favor of something. I like Italian ice, but I don’t like hot fudge sundaes.

“Like” should not be used as a substitute for “said” or as a prelude to a description of someone’s behavior.

She’s telling her story very loudly to another stranger in the waiting room. She says that everybody assumes she dropped out of high school. That everybody assumes she is in her teens. From her story it sounds like she is 24. She acts like she is 16. She also dresses young. Converse. Jeans. T-shirt. She wears no makeup so her acne is openly visible.

I’m trying to be good. I’m trying to be kind. I’m not doing very well, but I’ve not said anything to her yet.

I remember one time I was in water aerobics class. I’d been going for over two years. This new lady starts showing up, 10 years older, fake tan, scratchy, twangy voice. Barbara had obviously spent a lot of time working out. She had no fat on her. She wasn’t muscular though. She worked out very hard in the class.

But I can’t stand her. She’s uncouth. She’s grating. She’s loud. She thinks it is funny to dunk people. I hate being dunked. She hasn’t done it to me, but I’m wary. I’ve got my eye on her just in case she gets too close.

One day she was near me when we were doing a move we’ve done many times before. And when I say we, I mean me and everybody else. She is an interloper. I’ve never seen her do this move. Maybe she has been in other water aerobics classes. I don’t know, and I don’t care.

Because she felt that it was her place to tell me how to do the move.

I ignored her. And I started disliking her more. And I kept on doing the move the same way I’ve always done it. Maybe I’m doing it wrong. Maybe her way is right. But I don’t care.

Right now, I’m trying not to be Barbara.

I want to tell this girl that at a minimum she must stop saying “Like” all the time. But she doesn’t know me. She doesn’t know that I have a degree in English. She doesn’t know that I’ve tutored students from kindergarten to college for over ten years.

She doesn’t know that I too have had a problem with people assuming I’m a lot younger than I am.

I want to fix her.

Really, I want her to stop yammering.

Really, she reminds me of me when I was that age.

So I sit here, and write, and pray, and hope for redemption and healing, for myself and for her. I wasn’t planning on having this kind of emotional turmoil while sitting in the waiting room getting my car fixed, but when you are stuck some place for 7 hours, anything can happen.

Notes from the Dalai Lama’s talk, May 19th, 2013

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I went to Louisville, KY on May 19th to hear the 14th Dalai Lama speak on “Engaging Compassion”, along with about 14,000 other people. These are my notes from that public talk. My comments are in parenthesis.

This is the century of dialogue. More and more people from all over the world and all religions are talking with each other.

America is the leader of the free world, so it is possible to lead the world in compassion.

It would be good if America could import its democracy style to China.

He is Buddhist, and he prays every day, but he accepts the limitation of prayer. Real effect comes through action.

To make the entire world better, start with yourself. Your actions make a difference.

If you have respect for other’s well-being, then there is no room for violence.

Peace starts within you, now. It creates a ripple effect.

When we are born, our survival is based on other’s care and affection. This continues to be true as we get older. The survival of humans and the planet is based also on care and affection from others.

If you have a healthy mind, you will have a healthy body. If you have a peaceful mind, you will show compassion. If you show peace towards others, you will be healthy. Showing compassion is a benefit to yourself as well as the world. Anger is self-destructive. The counter force to anger and hatred is tolerance.

Attachment leads to bias and a loss of objectivity.

It is possible to have faith in your tradition, and still have respect for all traditions.

On war – If one person kills another person, he is a murderer and goes to jail. If a soldier kills a thousand people, he is a hero. (Killing is killing, no matter who does it.)

The biggest moral and social problem is the gap between the rich and the poor. It is similar to the caste system in India.

There is a oneness within all human beings. We all have the right to be happy.

It is possible to oppose another person’s attitude but still love them.

Instead of anger, have pity. (It is more compassionate to feel sorrow at another person’s bad choice of behavior than to be angry.)

Have a genuine concern for other’s well-being.

Separate action from actor. Oppose the action, forgive the person. People are not what they do.

We must respect all of God’s creation. So environmentalism should be part of your faith.

There are over one billion non-believers, so we must find different ways to help them to understand how to have a “happy life and a happy body.”

In India, “secular” means “respect for all religions,” as well as “respect for non-believers.” (It is not negative like in America, where “secular” means “not religious.”)

Thomas Merton was a bridge between Buddhist and Christian monks. If you follow your own tradition, you will discover that we are all following the same practice.

Politically, His Holiness the Dalai Lama is Marxist. He believes that in capitalism, if profit is the goal, then humans suffer. Humans are more important than profit.

(Edit) – I’m adding some pictures to this, since I’ve figured out how.

On the way to the event –
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Waiting outside to get in. We got there about an hour early. There was a long line past us.
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Seen outside the auditorium.
dl8

Our seats were really really high up. The rest of the crowd has not arrived yet. We had time to get and eat our lunch there.
dl9

The Dalai Lama has arrived. The tiny red dot in the center is him.
dl1

dl2

On the Jumbotron.
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Compassion

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Compassion is about love. It is not only about feeling love, it is about showing it and making it real. Prayer is great, but action is greater.

Part of showing love is being aware that every single person is worthy of love. This includes the nice people and the not so nice people. Jesus tells us that it is easy to love the nice people. The real test is how do we treat people who are mean?

A lady asked His Holiness the Dalai Lama when he was in Louisville, KY on May 19th, 2013 how to be compassionate towards the Boston bombers. I think his answer can be used for any situation where a person has been violent. He said we must separate action from actor. The person is not the deed. The action is bad. But there is hope for the person. The person made a bad choice. The person is still deserving of love.

Jesus tells us we are to love our enemies. Buddhists tell us we are to do the same. I’ll add that perhaps if the person had been shown more love in his or her life, she or he would not have been violent.

All behavior is communication so the behavioral manuals say. Children will seek attention in a negative way if they don’t get it in a positive way. What can we do, in our own actions, to make this world a better place? Every single act of kindness can literally save the world.

Remember the story of Abraham bargaining with God that Sodom and Gomorrah would not be destroyed if just ten good people lived there? Sadly, ten good people weren’t found. But how do you know that the same situation isn’t about to happen with your town?

This gives a whole new meaning to the line “Be good for goodness sake.” Your goodness isn’t about getting you a present from Santa Claus. It is about saving the world. It can bring about true healing.

So how can you show compassion? Start off with not being judgmental. You never know what the other person has gone through. Be kind to everyone. Smile. Complement them. Think of the other person’s needs. Put yourself in their shoes. Learn about other faiths and cultures. Learn how to say thank you in other languages.

Think about what you say you believe and what you do. Are they in harmony? If you believe that it is important to take care of the earth, then you need to recycle, and use less gasoline. Buy less stuff. Consume less of everything. Be mindful about your actions – what are the repercussions of what you are going to do, what you bought? Who is affected? How does this affect the earth? Everything is connected.

Being compassionate is about respecting the idea that every person is on their own journey. It is about being patient and kind with everyone. It isn’t about converting others to your belief system – it is about sincerely practicing your own.

Action and Actor

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The Dalai Lama, in his address in Louisville, Kentucky on May 19th, 2013 talked about the difference between “action and actor”. The person is not what they do. While the action may be bad, the person themselves is not. I liken this to when Jesus said “Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do.” Jesus was dying on the cross. It was a painful, degrading, public way to die. His disciples had left him. The soldiers were gambling for his clothing. In that horrible, embarrassing, difficult moment he showed compassion. He understood the difference between the action and the actor.

Forgive the person. They can’t help it. They would if they could.

Every single person is made in the image of God. Every single person has within them the light of God. It is through the will of God that each one of us continues to exist moment by moment, heartbeat by heartbeat.

Consider Judas. He has long been considered the bad guy in the Gospel story, but his role is essential. There are no saint medals for him, there is no special day set aside to commemorate him. But if it weren’t for Judas, that part of the prophecy would not have been fulfilled. Jesus knew that he was going to be betrayed by Judas, and forgave him. How many of us would be able to forgive someone who was going to betray us?

I have to confess that I have a soft spot in my heart for Judas. He was a pawn. God made him do what he had to do. When he came to his senses he killed himself. What a horrible thing to realize you have just sold out the person you believe to be the Messiah, the Savior, the Son of God.

Something about this story appeals to me personally. I have long wrestled with my calling and felt that it was not real. Who would listen to me, a bipolar lady who says she hears from God? God has enough crazy people who say they are His followers. The Christian faith doesn’t need any more crazy people. But if God can use someone like Judas, the most hated disciple, to bring forth what needs to happen, then who am I to argue?

We are told that if you trust in God, you know that all things work for good.

All things. Even the stuff that looks wrong and crazy and weird. Even the acts of terror. Even war. Everything is in God’s control. If we really believe that “He has the whole world in His hands,” as we teach small children to sing in Sunday school, then we need to start actually acting like we believe it.

Part of that is found in not judging anything. Not just not judging people, but not judging ourselves and events. Not deciding if things are “good” or “bad.” This is very Zen here. But it is all about accepting everything and everyone and every moment exactly as is. Without judgment, without trying to change what is, and without trying to escape.

We are told that every moment is the guru.

Every illness, every failing test score, every unwanted, unkind word, everything is our teacher.

Even Judas.

God bless us, every one.

The Test is Rigged.

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The test is rigged.

There is no way you can win with the idea of original sin. If you say that humans are faulty from the very beginning, broken and sinful down to our very core, then there is a problem.

This mindset causes dependency. It creates in people a feeling of never being good enough. That they never will measure up.

Let’s go with the Adam and Eve story. They ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil before they even had the knowledge of good and evil. Thus they had no way of knowing that what they were doing was wrong. So it wasn’t fair to punish them.

Nothing that is from God is bad. So we were made with free will and curiosity. We are finite where God is infinite. We are mortal. We break. Things aren’t effortless for us. We need a little help. We can’t understand and follow all the rules.

So then Jesus comes along and tells us to love. He breaks down all the rules into two – love God, and love your neighbor. Seems simple enough. Then he pays our tab for us – our debt of sin is paid. Some people need to hear that. But perhaps what he really was doing was just saying that we are fine the way we are. We aren’t perfect and we never will be. We can’t ever win, because the game is fixed. He’s letting us know that we are ok. We aren’t to blame for our nature, because it is just the way we are.

Now would be the time that somebody will quote from Paul or point out that “whoever is without sin” gets to cast the first stone. Nobody gets to throw stones. Because throwing stones isn’t showing love. Thinking you are better than somebody else isn’t being loving.

Rather than load people up with guilt about their sin by making them say the confession every week, why not turn it around and teach people different ways they can be more loving and compassionate?

Every week, every day, every minute, we aren’t going to measure up to the idea of being perfect. We never will be perfect. We can’t be. That isn’t human nature. Focusing on our sin keeps us pointed in the wrong direction. We need to learn how to be better at what we can do, rather than on what we can’t do.

We say that Jesus paid for all our sins. So why do we keep pulling them out and focusing on them? This seems pathological.

Love your enemies.

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What is the Christian response to acts of terrorism? In short, love.
This is the most paradoxical thing. Yet we cannot fight fire with fire.

We are told to love our enemies.

Matthew 5:43-48

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers and sisters,[o] what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

We are told to overcome evil with good.

Romans 12:14

“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.”

Romans 12:17-21

“17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. 18 If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave room for the wrath of God;[g] for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 No, “if your enemies are hungry, feed them; if they are thirsty, give them something to drink; for by doing this you will heap burning coals on their heads.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

We are told to turn the other cheek.

Matthew 5:38-42

38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ 39 But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; 40 and if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well; 41 and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile. 42 Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you.

We are told to love our neighbors (which is everybody).

Mark 12:28-31

28 One of the scribes came near and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, he asked him, “Which commandment is the first of all?” 29 Jesus answered, “The first is, ‘Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one; 30 you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

When we don’t know what to do or say in a difficult situation, we are told to pray for the right words, and advised that the Holy Spirit will give them to us. We are warned that it isn’t easy to be a follower of Jesus.

Matthew 10:16-22

16 “See, I am sending you out like sheep into the midst of wolves; so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. 17 Beware of them, for they will hand you over to councils and flog you in their synagogues; 18 and you will be dragged before governors and kings because of me, as a testimony to them and the Gentiles. 19 When they hand you over, do not worry about how you are to speak or what you are to say; for what you are to say will be given to you at that time; 20 for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you. 21 Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child, and children will rise against parents and have them put to death; 22 and you will be hated by all because of my name. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.

These are hard things to do, especially in a world that seeks retaliation and revenge. We are called to be a fixing to the evil of the world. We are called to be the cure to the disease of sin and hate and separation. We are called to build bridges, not walls. We are called to love. If loving your enemy is hard, remember to invite Jesus into it. Ask him to be with you in that feeling, to help you understand what you are feeling, to help transform it into love.

(All verses are from the New Revised Standard Version translation of the Bible.)