I was never introduced to a living Jesus
in church.
He was a character in a story
that happened
long ago and far away,
to other people.
He was a boogeyman to come
in the future,
when I least expect it,
to settle accounts
and even the score.

He never was real,
never was solid and present,
always Christ,
never Jesus,
never a friend,
always more like a big brother
who beat up your enemies
and might
beat you up
if you talk smack.

Then I met Jesus.
The real one.
I met him in the Gospels,
I met him on retreat.
I met him in a spiritual director.
I met him in myself,
hiding there in plain sight.