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Monthly Archives: June 2015

Turning water into wine.

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Early on in Jesus’ ministry, there was a wedding in the village of Cana in Galilee. Jesus was there with his mother and his disciples as invited guests. When the wine ran out too soon, Mary told him about the problem.
“Why does this concern you?” he asked her. “It is not the time yet for me to perform miracles.” However, Mary told the servants “Do whatever he tells you to do.”

There were six stone jars filled with water at the wedding. They were intended for the Jewish purification ritual. Each jar could hold at least 20 gallons of water. Jesus told the servants to fill the jars up to the brim. Then he said “Ladle some out and take it to the headwaiter.”

When the headwaiter tasted the water that was now wine, he was amazed. He did not know where it had come from, even though the servants did. He called the groom to him and said “Normally people put out the best wine first, then after people are drunk they put out the cheap stuff. But you have saved the best for last!”

This was Jesus’ first public demonstration of his God-given abilities. His disciples believed in him. Afterwards, he departed for Capernaum with his mother, brothers, and disciples and they stayed there for just a few days.

JN 2:1-12

Casting stones

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This passage sounds harsh to modern ears.

Numbers 15:32-36
32 While the Israelites were in the wilderness, they found a man gathering wood on the Sabbath day. 33 Those who found him gathering wood brought him to Moses, Aaron, and the entire community. 34 They placed him in custody because it had not been decided what should be done to him. 35 Then the LORD told Moses, “The man is to be put to death. The entire community is to stone him outside the camp.” 36 So the entire community brought him outside the camp and stoned him to death, as the LORD had commanded Moses.

Killed. Stoned to death. For picking up wood on the Sabbath. Not only did the Lord command it, the assembly did it. Each person – the entire community – took him outside the camp (where the trash is, where the dead bodies are). Each person picked up a stone and threw it at him, until he died. That isn’t one stone. That is thousands of them. Each person did this.

Can you imagine being one of those people in the crowd? Can you imagine looking around for a stone? Everyone else around you is doing the same thing. Are there enough stones for everybody? Do you pick up a big one, or a pebble? Something with a nice heft to it, or something inconsequential?

You have to pick up a stone in this story. If you don’t, you are disobeying a command from God. This person has violated the Sabbath by working. This person has broken a law that keeps the community going. This person has to be removed, or the infection will spread – and make no doubt about it, law-breaking is an infection. If one person gets away with it, then more will. Then there won’t be a reason for the rules anymore, because everyone will be doing their own thing. There won’t be a community anymore. There won’t be a thing called “Israel” anymore.

Maybe you know this guy. Maybe you’ve talked to him. Maybe you’ve seen him while you were out gathering your daily allotment of manna. Maybe he’s in your tribe, and you’ve carried the tent poles of the Temple with him. Maybe he’s sat around your campfire at night. Maybe he’s closely related to you. Maybe he is your uncle. Or father. Or son.

Do you still pick up a stone?

If so, how hard do you throw it?

What are the “sins” today? What “stones” do we throw? They might not kill the body, but they surely kill the spirit.

Is throwing stones our job anymore? What does Jesus say?

John 8:2-11 (HCSB)
2 At dawn He went to the Temple complex again, and all the people were coming to Him. He sat down and began to teach them. 3 Then the scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery, making her stand in the center. 4 “Teacher,” they said to Him, “this woman was caught in the act of committing adultery. 5 In the law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do You say?” 6 They asked this to trap Him, in order that they might have evidence to accuse Him. Jesus stooped down and started writing on the ground with His finger. 7 When they persisted in questioning Him, He stood up and said to them, “The one without sin among you should be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Then He stooped down again and continued writing on the ground. 9 When they heard this, they left one by one, starting with the older men. Only He was left, with the woman in the center. 10 When Jesus stood up, He said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 “No one, Lord,” she answered. “Neither do I condemn you,” said Jesus. “Go, and from now on do not sin anymore.”

It isn’t our job to cast stones, or to point out sin in others.

Menopause hacks

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These are things that helped me get through to menopause. Think of it as transforming from a caterpillar to a butterfly – the old rules don’t work anymore. Everything is changing, and it gives you a chance to re-invent yourself into a new and better you. Meanwhile, the process can be quite difficult with the hot flashes and night sweats.

Half-blanket. Have the heavier covering on your legs, and a lighter covering on your torso.

Lower the thermostat in your house when you sleep.

Make art. You are transitioning from being physically creative – you can no longer have babies. But the need to be creative is still there. Making art on a regular basis (ideally, daily) is very helpful. Don’t have an agenda – crayons and fingerpainting works very well. Plus, art helps you process the new feelings and emotions that you are experiencing. It is essentially a new language.

Soy milk. I drink organic vanilla soy milk, (the store brand from Publix is great) every evening. I prefer mine room temperature. Don’t think it is going to taste like milk. It doesn’t. You’ll get used to it about the time you notice you’re feeling better. It is all a choice.

Black Cohosh. Consult with your doctor first. This can be harmful if you have high blood pressure or heart problems. For me, I ended up taking 40 mg doses of it, three times a day.

Avoid caffeine, meat, sugar, processed and/or fried foods. Cook fresh foods from scratch. Get organic as much as possible. Spicy foods make things worse. Drink lots of water. Daily exercise – 20 minutes of walking. Water aerobics is a godsend.

Yoga. Take some classes first to learn how to do it right, then you can do it every day at your house.

Learn to set boundaries. Now is a time to learn to tell people No. See my “resources” section for book lists – under “survival”.

Daily journaling. This does not have to be public in blog form, but it can if that helps you stick to it. I write every day in a paper journal, and most every day in the blog. Sometimes what I write in the paper journal ends up in the blog, sometimes it is private.

Prayer shawls

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There is a ministry that some churches are participating in where they make prayer shawls. However, they aren’t quite getting it. The shawl isn’t the point. The tassels are.

Numbers 15:37-41 (HCSB)
37 The LORD said to Moses, 38 “Speak to the Israelites and tell them that throughout their generations they are to make tassels for the corners of their garments, and put a blue cord on the tassel at each corner. 39 These will serve as tassels for you to look at, so that you may remember all the LORD’s commands and obey them and not become unfaithful by following your own heart and your own eyes. 40 This way you will remember and obey all My commands and be holy to your God. 41 I am Yahweh your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt to be your God; I am Yahweh your God.”

The church groups mean well, but they are making the shawls and not the tassels. Fringe doesn’t count. The tassels are to remind you to keep God’s commandments. When this commandment came, God said simply to affix the tassels at the corners of their garments. This way the person would see them.

Later, the Jews made a special garment that has the tassels. This is still not the “prayer shawl” – it is for everyday use if you are an Orthodox man. It is called a “tallit katan” and is a four-cornered garment, kind of like a poncho. It has a hole in the middle to put your head through. It is put on in addition to regular clothing. They have a separate prayer shawl just for special prayers. It can be a range of sizes, as long as it has four corners and each corner has the prerequisite tassel. The tassels are not just any tassels – there are very exacting rules about the length, color, and number of cords in them and how they are knotted.

The tassels are “tzitzit” and the shawl is a “tallit”. A tallit without the tzitzit is not a prayer shawl – it is a piece of cloth. Even if one of the tassels is frayed, the whole thing is invalid as a prayer shawl.

I like the prayer shawl ministry – it lets the other person know that people are thinking about them. They get a tangible reminder of the love that others have for them. Plus, a blanket is like a big hug. Every time they feel lonely, they can take this shawl and wrap it around themselves and feel better. This is great – but it isn’t a prayer shawl in the Jewish sense. Perhaps there needs to be another name for these Christian “prayer shawls”, or a distinction spelling out that they are not the Christian version of a Jewish prayer shawl. They are not used for prayers in the Jewish sense, but to let someone know that they are being prayed for.

Jesus wore a tallit with tzitzit, as any other Jewish man of the time would do. Notice it mentioned in this story –

Matthew 9:20-22 (HCSB)
20 Just then, a woman who had suffered from bleeding for 12 years approached from behind and touched the tassel on His robe, 21 for she said to herself, “If I can just touch His robe, I’ll be made well!” 22 But Jesus turned and saw her. “Have courage, daughter,” He said. “Your faith has made you well.” And the woman was made well from that moment.

Sometimes “the tassel on His robe” is translated as “the hem of his robe” but this is inaccurate. She is reaching for the tzitzit, the visible reminders of following God’s commandments. They are holy things, unlike the hem, which means nothing at all. Lest we get into idolatry, the tassels are not something to worship. They point towards God, and are a reminder to always serve God through doing good deeds.

Asperger’s and social blindness

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I know a lady who has a son who appears to have a case of Asperger’s. She refuses to even consider the idea. She just thinks that he is annoying and needs to be told to be quiet. She and his stepfather have noticed that all of his friends are younger than he is, and he has a hard time fitting in. He will talk endlessly about his own interests and not know how to interact with other people in a meaningful way. He acts a lot younger than he is and it is very difficult to be around him. They think they are doing him a favor by letting him be around their adult friends. They don’t get that it isn’t a favor to their friends.

I’ve spoken with her often about him. She believes that to take him to get assessed or get treatment is to say that there is something wrong with him. She doesn’t want the stigma of a developmental disorder attached to him. She’d rather him suffer, and for everyone around him to suffer, than for him to get help.

Think of it this way. What if he had vision problems? Rather than admitting that he has low vision, she’d rather let him bump into everything and get hurt. When he got older, he’d try to drive and cause accidents because he can’t see properly. Asperger’s is like social blindness. He bumps into people. He bumps into social rules. Getting treatment for him would be the same as getting glasses.

In fact it would be better than getting glasses because people see you wearing glasses. There is a stigma there. It is obvious. Getting treatment for Asperger’s is even better than wearing glasses. If he has counseling to learn how to interact with other people in a healthy way, then the only thing people will notice is that he’s not bumping into people anymore.

Thoughts on haircovering 6-7-2015

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There’s something amazing about covering my head. It forces me to look down. This thing that I do to show honor to God forces me to look at God’s creation and God’s creatures. It makes me bow my head in humility and at the same time point me towards that which I must serve in order to truly show honor to God.

I don’t know if that is the point of head wrapping. I don’t know if that is intentional, or just an amazing coincidence. It seems that because of the pressure that it has on my head and maybe how I am wrapping, I feel that if I lean my head back, the scarf will slowly over the course of the day inch further back and eventually need to be retied or it will fall off or look more like a beret that a head wrap. Even with a velvet headband I don’t feel that it is going to slip off, but I do feel that it forces my gaze downward.

Also, I wonder why do I find it important that I show a little hair so that people don’t think I have cancer? Or that I wear cross so people know that I’m Christian? When I cover my hair, people could think it’s for any reason. They could think it’s because I don’t want to style my hair that day. Perhaps even worse, they might think that I don’t want to wash it that day. They could think that I have converted to a different faith such Muslim for instance. For some reason they would never ever think that I had converted to Judaism. For them it would be a step backwards. But so many people don’t understand that there are sections of Christianity that also cover their hair as a sign of modesty and humility before God. This is especially true if they are married women.

This is the South after all, and there is very little variety here. I’m at a disadvantage because of it. I really stick out. But why is it so important to me that I explain to them what I’m not without having to explain to them with words? I want to allay fears or concerns, but why do I care what they think? I’m not doing this for them.

I don’t want to bother people. I don’t want to call attention to myself. This defeats the idea of being modest. It also makes people feel uncomfortable. But seeing so much of exposed skin on people makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want to see cleavage and butts while at work or the grocery store. That is for home or the pool. Western society has no taboo about having hair uncovered – everything is uncovered. I wear long skirts – the highest is two inches above my ankle – not two inches above my knees like many people. I wear short sleeve shirts, and show nothing of my chest. My clothing is not tight. The shape of my body is not for the world to see. I am not a product. I am not my body.

Some feminists think that women who cover their bodies are repressed. In actuality, if it is the choice of the woman to do this, it means that we are not objectified. We are not seen as objects. People have to look at us, as people, and not as packages.

Knowing people spend the majority of their days in mindless pursuits such as Facebook, playing video games, and watching movies and “reality TV” makes me uncomfortable. Knowing people are so mindless that they eat terribly, don’t exercise, and then are surprised when they get sick with chronic or terminal diseases makes me uncomfortable.

I don’t want to be like everybody else. They scare me. I want to be awake, and mindful. If wearing a headcovering helps me do this, then so be it. Maybe it will be just the sign to others that they need to be mindful about their lives and how they spend them.

Love your enemies. Go the second mile.

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“You’ve been taught the message ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemies.’ But I’m telling you something deeper – love your enemies and pray for people who persecute you. Bless anyone who curses you and ask for God’s blessing for those who mistreat you.

The Law of Moses says ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I’m telling you something deeper – don’t retaliate against someone who harms you. Instead, if someone slaps you on your cheek, turn and offer him the other one. If someone sues you to take away your coat, let him have your shirt as well. If someone demands that you carry a heavy burden for a mile – carry it two miles instead.

If someone asks you for anything, give them whatever they ask for. If someone wants to borrow something, let them have it. Even if they take your possessions away, don’t ask to get them back.

How does it help you if you are nice only to the people who are nice to you? Even sinful people can do that.

How does it help you if you are welcoming only to people who are nice to you? If you welcome only your friends, how are you doing anything different than everyone else? Even people who don’t believe in God do that.

How are you to be seen as different if you lend only to people who you expect to get something from? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. Instead, love your enemies, do what is right, and lend what you have, expecting nothing in return. Treat others the same way that you like to be treated.

By doing this you will reveal yourself to be children of your Father in heaven. God makes the sun shine on those who are evil as well as those are good, and God makes rain fall on the just and the unjust alike. He is compassionate to those who are ungrateful and evil. Your goal is to be perfect and merciful, just like God is perfect and merciful.”

MT 5:38-48, LK 6:27-36

The beatitudes

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Jesus noticed that the crowds were gathering, and lifting up his eyes to his disciples he said:

“Those who are poor in spirit are blessed because they have the kingdom of heaven. Those who are hungry are blessed, because they will be filled. Those who mourn are blessed because they will be comforted. Those who are humble are blessed because they will inherit the world. Those who desire to be righteous are blessed because they will be satisfied. Those who show mercy are blessed, because mercy will be shown to them. Those whose hearts are pure are blessed because they will see God. Those who work for peace are blessed because they will be called the children of God. Those who are persecuted because of their righteousness are blessed because they already possess the kingdom of heaven.

Take note and be joyful when people persecute, exclude, and lie about you because you follow me, the Son of Man, because your heavenly reward is overflowing. Remember this is how their ancestors treated the prophets of long ago.”

MT 5:1-12, LK 6:20-23

“But it is unfortunate to be rich, because you already have everything you’re going to get. It is unfortunate to be satisfied with everything you have now, because you will soon feel the lack. It is unfortunate for those who think that now is a time to laugh, because you will soon be full of grief. It is unfortunate for you when everyone praises you, because this is the way their ancestors used to treat false prophets.

LK 6:24-26