I am with you

During spiritual direction at the retreat at St. Meinrad’s in Indiana, I was asked to visualize being on a road with Jesus.  Where was he, in relation to me?  Then I was to imagine I found something on the road that was interesting.  Do I show it to Jesus?  Do I have to run to him to show it, or does he have to catch up?  Or do I just point to it and hope he figures it out?

I don’t normally like to spend a lot of time with these visualizations.  I usually feel very self-conscious doing play-pretend as an adult.  I’m also a little afraid that I’m going to be smacked down – that this is a trap.  It wouldn’t be the first time that a religious leader has purposely tried to make me look silly – and thus shame me into silence.

But I decided to a) be brave and trust and b) not go with my usual habit of trying to get to the good part too fast.  I’m not very good with waiting in the stillness of time that it takes for things to gel. Jesus and I are working on that.

I imagined I was walking on a dusty, rocky road, like the Camino de Santiago.  I was walking ahead, and Jesus was  behind me.  He was far enough away that conversation would have to be in gestures and shouts, but we could still see each other.

I saw a rock that was interesting and decided to wait for him to catch up to show it to him.  There were a lot of rocks on the road and I wanted to make sure he saw this specific one, because it was so different.

When he caught up with me and I showed him the rock, he smiled and said “Yes, I put that there for you to find.”

And my mind was blown.  How?  He was behind me.  But this is Jesus.  Jesus transcends time and space.  Jesus is everywhere.  He is before, behind, above, below, and within me.

Where I’d been wondering about him being behind me – aren’t I supposed to follow him, and not the other way around – he answered it.  He was behind me to watch me, to make sure I stayed on the path.  He was behind me to make sure I didn’t turn to the left or the right.  He was behind me to support me, to help me.

Years back, he had to be in front, but I watched his walk and matched my pace to his.  Now I can walk ahead and see new things.  My view is unobstructed.  I can go to new places, because he has shown me how.

The Walk isn’t about doing the same old things again.  It is a pattern, not a map.  You aren’t supposed to recreate his life, like a diorama, like a museum.  It has to be a living path.

The retreat theme was about rocks – about us being the living stones of the Church, about how even the stones would cry out if Jesus made his disciples be silent, about how we are like geodes – that being cracked open reveals our beauty.  I’d decided to take pictures of different examples of stones to meditate on, and took this one before the silent direction time.

rock

It was only later when I was looking at my pictures again that I noticed the one almost in the center that has a cross shape, revealed inside the rock itself.

rock

I went back to that area several times to try to find this rock, to take it home.  In a way, I’m glad I didn’t find it.  It is important to not iconize things, to not be weighed down by them.  It is the One who left me the stone in the visualization and in real life that is to be noticed.  The stone is just a symbol.  Symbols have to point to the thing – they aren’t the thing.  The trouble comes when we focus on the symbol.  That becomes idolatry.

Poem – healing in darkness

Consider Noah and Jonah and Jesus.
At one point, each was separated
from the rest of the world.
Through their time away
hidden they were able
to heal and bring salvation.

Also Joseph,
he was in prison for many years
but that put him in the right place
to be able to rescue the entire Jewish people
from certain extinction.

There is something for us
about these stories of people
retreating from the world
in order to save the world.
They are enclosed
in quiet dark places
they are like seeds
waiting for the right time
for bringing new life.

Remember when you are in
those dark times.
You are not being buried.
You’re being planted.

Everything starts in darkness.
It is not an end.
It is a transition
time to change
a time of stilling yourself
for something new to come.
Go into those times mindfully
and with rejoicing.

Room

Jesus prepares a room for us in heaven,
so that we can be with him.
Likewise, we must prepare a room for him
inside us, so that he can be with us.

Jesus wants to be in every part of our lives.
Our work, our family.
Our fears, hopes, dreams.
Our good days
as well as our bad.
Our sorrows
as well as our triumphs.

“I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Phil. 4:13
“I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in Me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without Me.” John 15:5

(Bible quotations are from the Holman Christian Standard Bible)

Don’t worship the door.

“Jesus once said ‘I am the door’ – and he was correct. A door is something to go through. The church, however, has remained at the threshold of the door, worshiping it, afraid to enter.” – former Episcopal priest Peter Calhoun in his book “Soul on Fire”

“We worshipped Jesus instead of following him on his same path. We made Jesus into a mere religion instead of a journey toward union with God and everything else. This shift made us into a religion of ‘belonging and believing’ instead of a religion of transformation.” – Richard Rohr

“A rich young man approached Jesus, and kneeling down before him, said ‘Good Teacher, what do I have to do to attain eternal life?’ Jesus asked him “Why do you call me good? There’s only One who is good, and that is God. If you want to have eternal life, then keep the Commandments. Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not lie about anyone, honor your parents, and love your neighbor as yourself.” — Matthew 19:16-17, Mark 10:17-19, Luke 18:18-20 (from The Condensed Gospel rendition, in “The Rich Young Man”)

Jesus never wanted us to worship him. Jesus wants us to follow him to God. Only God is above us.

Remember all the times that Jesus walked away from the crowds who were trying to make him king? He didn’t want it. Even today, the Jews use the fact that he wasn’t an earthly king to prove that he was not the Messiah. They also say that it is idolatry to worship Jesus as God.

Jesus would agree.

Remember the commandment to “have no other Gods before Me”? That includes Jesus. He constantly pointed people back towards God. He didn’t want to be worshipped. He wanted people to follow him to God.

Christianity has made an idol out of Jesus, rather than seeing him as a teacher and a guide.

Jesus does not punish.

We must remember that the Good News is indeed good. Here are some verses from the Gospels that remind us of that.

Jesus came to save people’s lives – not destroy them.

Luke 9:51-56
51 When the days were coming to a close for Him to be taken up, He determined to journey to Jerusalem. 52 He sent messengers ahead of Him, and on the way they entered a village of the Samaritans to make preparations for Him. 53 But they did not welcome Him, because He determined to journey to Jerusalem. 54 When the disciples James and John saw this, they said, “Lord, do You want us to call down fire from heaven to consume them?” 55But He turned and rebuked them and said, “You don’t know what kind of spirit you belong to. 56 For the Son of Man did not come to destroy people’s lives but to save them,” 56 and they went to another village.

Jesus came to save – not condemn.

JN 3:17
“For God did not send His Son into the world that He might condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.”

Jesus tells us what to do if we have interpersonal problems. Note these words are not about if you think someone is sinning, but if you and another person have problems.

MT 18:15-20
15 “If your brother sins against you, go and rebuke him in private. If he listens to you, you have won your brother. 16 But if he won’t listen, take one or two more with you, so that by the testimony of two or three witnesses every fact may be established. 17 If he pays no attention to them, tell the church. But if he doesn’t pay attention even to the church, let him be like an unbeliever and a tax collector to you. 18 I assure you: Whatever you bind on earth is already bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth is already loosed in heaven. 19 Again, I assure you: If two of you on earth agree about any matter that you pray for, it will be done for you by My Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there among them.”

Jesus came to be a servant, not a taskmaster.

MT 20:25-28
25 But Jesus called them over and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles dominate them, and the men of high position exercise power over them. 26 It must not be like that among you. On the contrary, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave; 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life—a ransom for many.”

Jesus came to find and rescue the lost.

LK 19:1-10
“Today salvation has come to this house,” Jesus told him, “because he too is a son of Abraham. 10 For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save the lost.”

MT 18:11
“For the Son of Man has come to save the lost.”

Jesus came to save the world and not to judge it.

JN 12:44-47
44 Then Jesus cried out, “The one who believes in Me believes not in Me, but in Him who sent Me. 45 And the one who sees Me sees Him who sent Me. 46 I have come as a light into the world, so that everyone who believes in Me would not remain in darkness. 47 If anyone hears My words and doesn’t keep them, I do not judge him; for I did not come to judge the world but to save the world.

We, as Jesus’ followers, must follow his example of being full of mercy and kindness, seeking to help people and not to condemn them.

Prayer – Jesus as sculptor

Jesus help me know you and serve you.
Help me see you and be you.
Every day in every way help me find you in the faces of everyone I see.
Help me hear you in the voices of everyone I meet.
Help me be the face of you to them and the voice of you to them.
Work through me to bring forth heaven here on earth.
Make me a vessel of your peace and of your love.
Trim away all that is not of you.
You are the sculptor of my life.
Without you I am a block of stone.
With you I’m a magnificent sculpture.
Help me endure the blows of your tools as you cut me and shape me.
Help me to know that each blow of your hammer and chisel is not an assault against me.
Help me to know that each blow gets me closer to being the person who you need me to be.

Healing your enemies

We are told to love our enemies. Truly, they need it the most. But also, we need it. We need to pray for those who have harmed us. We need to pray that they receive the healing of Jesus. We need to pray they will be transformed from being people who hurt into people who help.

There are several precedents for people who were healed without asking for it or without even being near Jesus. When you are praying for someone who has harmed you, remember these stories. They are in the Bible as signs to you that Jesus’ power and healing can be done at any distance and without the knowledge or intent of the person who needs the healing. The people who need to be healed most are often the last to admit it. You are blessing them by asking Jesus for their healing.

Let us look at some stories. Here is the one of the Canaanite woman and her daughter. Her daughter was possessed by a demon (mental illness?) and certainly didn’t ask for help. She wasn’t even there – but Jesus’ power of healing knows no boundaries or limitations. This story is especially important to me because it indicates that we should constantly try – we shouldn’t give up. Even if it seems like our prayers aren’t being answered, we should persist.

Matthew 15:21-28

21 And Jesus went out thence, and withdrew into the parts of Tyre and Sidon. 22 And behold, a Canaanitish woman came out from those borders, and cried, saying, Have mercy on me, O Lord, thou son of David; my daughter is grievously vexed with a demon. 23 But he answered her not a word. And his disciples came and besought him, saying, Send her away; for she crieth after us. 24 But he answered and said, I was not sent but unto the lost sheep of the house of Israel. 25 But she came and worshipped him, saying, Lord, help me. 26 And he answered and said, It is not meet to take the children’s bread and cast it to the dogs. 27 But she said, Yea, Lord: for even the dogs eat of the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table. 28 Then Jesus answered and said unto her, O woman, great is thy faith: be it done unto thee even as thou wilt. And her daughter was healed from that hour.

It was the woman’s faith in Jesus’ ability to heal her daughter that healed her. Your faith in Jesus can do the same to heal the broken people in your life. In fact, those broken people might just be in your life for that very reason. You might be the very one to bring them to the love of Christ.

Here’s another story of Jesus healing a person at a distance. The person might not have even known that healing was being requested of them. Interestingly enough, the supplicant was also not Jewish, but believed in Jesus’ power.

Matthew 8:5-13
5 And when he was entered into Capernaum, there came unto him a centurion, beseeching him, 6 and saying, Lord, my servant lieth in the house sick of the palsy, grievously tormented. 7 And he saith unto him, I will come and heal him. 8 And the centurion answered and said, Lord, I am not worthy that thou shouldest come under my roof; but only say the word, and my servant shall be healed. 9 For I also am a man under authority, having under myself soldiers: and I say to this one, Go, and he goeth; and to another, Come, and he cometh; and to my servant, Do this, and he doeth it. 10 And when Jesus heard it, he marvelled, and said to them that followed, Verily I say unto you, I have not found so great faith, no, not in Israel. 11 And I say unto you, that many shall come from the east and the west, and shall sit down with Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, in the kingdom of heaven: 12 but the sons of the kingdom shall be cast forth into the outer darkness: there shall be the weeping and the gnashing of teeth. 13 And Jesus said unto the centurion, Go thy way; as thou hast believed, so be it done unto thee. And the servant was healed in that hour.

In this story too, the faith of the supplicant is what tipped the scales. In this story too, Jesus is surprised by their faith. You too have that ability. You too have the power to transform someone who isn’t well by your faith. Sometimes, just simply knowing that there is a chance for healing is enough to give us hope. That little spark can build into a flame. Just a little faith can do a lot.

Matthew 17:20
20 And he saith unto them, Because of your little faith: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

Don’t doubt, and don’t give up.

Luke 11:9-13
9 And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. 10 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. 11 And of which of you that is a father shall his son ask a loaf, and he give him a stone? or a fish, and he for a fish give him a serpent? 12 Or if he shall ask an egg, will he give him a scorpion? 13 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?

Here’s a story of a healing where nobody asked for healing but it happened anyway. Jesus can fix even the worst situations. Even when all seems lost, there is hope.

Luke 7:11-15
11 And it came to pass soon afterwards, that he went to a city called Nain; and his disciples went with him, and a great multitude. 12 Now when he drew near to the gate of the city, behold, there was carried out one that was dead, the only son of his mother, and she was a widow: and much people of the city was with her. 13 And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her, and said unto her, Weep not. 14 And he came nigh and touched the bier: and the bearers stood still. And he said, Young man, I say unto thee, Arise. 15 And he that was dead sat up, and began to speak. And he gave him to his mother.

So bring the person to Jesus in your heart and in your prayers. Ask Jesus to heal them of their sickness. Sickness isn’t just physical. Sickness can be anything that deviates from being whole. Anger, jealousy, and fear are sicknesses. Guilt, shame, and addictions are sicknesses. All sickness can be healed by Jesus. We are called to ask for that healing, through faith.

(All Bible translations are American Standard Version – public domain)

Uncovering Jesus

What I’m doing is stripping down everything I’ve been told about Jesus and everything I’ve seen about what church is. It is like I’ve gotten a painting of Jesus that is 2000 years old. The original is underneath many layers. It has been covered in jewels and gold along with dirt and grime. People have added to it what they think needed to be there. They’ve added so much that they can’t even see Jesus anymore.

I’m doing this by reading the Gospels, the words of Jesus. I’m inviting the Holy Spirit in, to help me understand the real meaning behind the words on the page. I’m studying Jewish prayers and rituals to understand the meaning behind the parables. I’m trying to live like Jesus, while at the same time living like someone who has been healed by Jesus. I’m trying to see everyone I meet as if they are Jesus in disguise, just like how the disciples encountered him after he resurrected. I’m trying to remember that Peter not only walked on water, but raised someone from the dead. I’m trying to remember that if he can do that, so can all of us who call upon Jesus as our Lord.

Mostly, I’m creating a sanctuary for Jesus within my heart and within my life. Instead of affixing a mezuzah to the doorpost of my home, I’m affixing it to myself, as a reminder every day, every moment, that God is real, God is alive, and God loves me. I’m inscribing God’s words in my heart through prayer and study every day.

Am I succeeding? Sometimes. Not always. Sometimes I’m so angry and frustrated and upset that I want to yell at everyone and then lock myself in my house. Sometimes all I want to do is give up. And then I remember that even this is part of the journey. I remember that God loves me even when I feel unlovable. And then I remember that it was Jesus that brought that message to me. Then I remember that I need to share that love, that forgiveness with others.

What would make me happy about church? If Jesus showed up, in us, every time. What would make me happy about church would be if we stopped talking about “When Jesus comes again” and we start being real about how Jesus is here, already, right now, with us – as us. We are Christ’s body in this earth. We are how God’s love is made visible.

We are each Mary, who carries the Light of God within her and gives birth to it. We give birth to Jesus every day through our actions of love and compassion and service.

All we have to do is say “Here I am” when God calls us and let God work through us, and with us. We don’t have to be special – God has already made us special. We are each different because that is the way we need to be. We need to stop comparing ourselves to each other, as better or worse. Denominations and different faith traditions need to do the same. We are each different because that is what is needed. We are one in Spirit, and that Spirit will knit us together and create us into One Body that will, that is already, making a difference in the world.

We have to focus on the good, otherwise the bad wins. We have to focus on the goal, or we will be lost on the path.

Management style from Jesus

If you ever want to know how to deal with people at work, you can’t go wrong with seeing what Jesus has to say about it.

Matthew 18:15-17 (ASV)
15 And if thy brother sin against thee, go, show him his fault between thee and him alone: if he hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
16 But if he hear thee not, take with thee one or two more, that at the mouth of two witnesses or three every word may be established.
17 And if he refuse to hear them, tell it unto the church: and if he refuse to hear the church also, let him be unto thee as the Gentile and the publican.

Let’s translate this for the workplace. If your employee is doing something wrong, talk to him privately. Tell him in person what the issue is so that he can fix it.

Don’t send him an email. Don’t chastise him in front of coworkers or customers. Don’t start off by calling a meeting with him, you, and upper management. Do it privately.

Don’t threaten to fire him or write him up or any other form of punishment at this time. This is a time to let him know that his actions are not in line with what is expected by company policy.

Then wait. See how he responds.

If he fails to comply and put his actions in line with company policy, then it is time to call for a meeting with him, you, and upper management.

If that still doesn’t work, get your Human Resources department in, or even hire a professional non-violent conflict resolution expert.

If that still doesn’t achieve the desired result, then take appropriate disciplinary action, up to and including firing him.

The worst thing you can do is have issue with an employee’s behavior or actions and start talking to upper management first, skipping the employee in the discussion, and documenting his actions. The employee does not know that he is doing anything wrong, so he does not have any awareness that he needs to correct it. Meanwhile, he is silently being punished and tracked for his every action. This is unfair, unkind, and unwise. It is, simply, a sign of bad management, but worse, it is the sign of a bad human being on the part of management.

This also works for interoffice conflicts. If you have issue with a coworker, tell them privately. Don’t get your boss involved. Talk to your coworker privately about how their actions affect the workflow. Tell them how you feel when they shirk their responsibility. If they don’t change their ways, then talk to the boss.

Hole in the roof

Let’s read the story of Jesus and the people who cut a hole in the roof to get their sick friend to him for healing.

(This is in the American Standard Version, which is from 1901 and thus free to use. Please feel free to use any translation you like for a more understandable version. The website BibleGateway is very helpful for switching between translations.)

Mark 2:1-5
And when he entered again into Capernaum after some days, it was noised that he was in the house. 2 And many were gathered together, so that there was no longer room for them, no, not even about the door: and he spake the word unto them. 3 And they come, bringing unto him a man sick of the palsy, borne of four. 4 And when they could not come nigh unto him for the crowd, they uncovered the roof where he was: and when they had broken it up, they let down the bed whereon the sick of the palsy lay. 5 And Jesus seeing their faith saith unto the sick of the palsy, Son, thy sins are forgiven.

Imagine the scene. Jesus is home, and everybody has found out. He wants some rest, but the crowds won’t let him. They are desperate for his message and his healing.

Now imagine yourself in the scene. You are there, with all those people.

Read the passage out loud, and see what sticks out for you. Does anything resonate with what you are experiencing now? Does anything seem confusing? Ask God to help you understand it.

Do you identify with any of the characters?

Are you Jesus just trying have a moment of peace? He was constantly trying to have some time for himself, and the crowds were forever finding him. We all need time to recharge. Do you feel like you are constantly helping others yet never taking time for yourself? Where do you go to fill your cup?

Are you one of the four friends desperate to take care of your friend who is sick? How do you feel? How long have you been carrying him? We carry our friends in prayer to Jesus. Who is on your prayer list? How long have they been there?

Are you the friend who is on the litter, suffering from palsy? How does the bed feel? Are you anxious because your friends have lifted you up really high? How do you feel about going to see Jesus this way? Excited? Anxious? Embarrassed? Sometimes we need healing so badly that it takes desperate measures to make it happen.

Are you a member of the crowd? Are you right up close, packed in tight, or further towards the edge, where you can’t hear very well? What do you see? What do you hear? Do you want to get further back, or closer?

Are you Jesus’ parents, wondering how his ministry got so big? Did you expect the crowd would be so large? How are you going to pay for the roof to be repaired?

It’s okay to identify with several of the characters.

Think about the roof. Have you ever had to go in an unusual way to seek healing?

Think about the friends. The person who needed healing wasn’t even able to get there. His friends carried him there. Do you have friends like that? Are you that kind of friend?

Notice it was because of the faith of the friends that Jesus healed the sick man. The sick man didn’t have to do anything. How does that make you feel?

Jesus often says “Your faith has healed you.” Think about that. What does that mean to you?