Thoughts about taking care of a marriage.

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I’ve realized that building up a marriage is a lot like building up your immune system. If I’m not getting enough sleep or eating well, my immune system gets low, and I’ll catch any cold. If I take care of myself, then I don’t get sick.

Showing love and care for your spouse builds up your marriage immune system too. Showing attention, saying thank you, being thoughtful -they all build up the “bank”. That way, when there is a bad day, everything doesn’t come crashing down.

If you make deposits into your marriage bank, then when something big happens, your spouse can draw on that and come out fine. If the bank is empty, your marriage is in danger.

All the things you did when you were dating are all the things you should do when you are married. The number of years married makes no difference. Perhaps that is part of the “seven year itch”. You are used to each other, and you start to take each other for granted. So you slide a little, and then you discover that you just don’t care about each other as much. You don’t care, because you don’t “take care”. You have to tend a marriage, like you tend a garden. If you don’t work on it, it gets overgrown and ugly.

Just like a bank, you have to make “deposits” – make special breakfasts for each other, give cards for no special reason, come to visit at work, do an extra chore – it doesn’t have to be things. In fact, you are probably better off if you don’t buy things. You want to show them that you are thinking about them.

Flower fund

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There is a flower fund at the church I went to. It pays for the flowers behind the altar, but it also pays for the wine and the wafers used for Communion.

Often people give to the flower fun in thanksgiving for something good – a birthday or an anniversary, for instance.

But it is also given in memory of someone who died. Some of those deaths are natural. Someone died after a good long life, well lived. But some of those deaths are tragic – accidents, suicide, crib death.

We eat joy and sadness when we share Communion together. Those wafers and that wine were bought with money in memory or honor or thanksgiving of those very human events.

We eat them together, kneeling, at the altar. This is a profound thing. This is a healing thing.

I know people who think they are too sinful to go to church. This is like saying they can’t go to the gym because they are too fat. Church isn’t about being holy. It is about being whole. It is about accepting and sharing our joyful and sad times together.

But church isn’t about a building or a denomination. It is about being part of the Body of Christ. We are all members of the same Church, regardless of creed or ritual, or tradition, regardless of whether we go on Sundays or Saturdays, or not at all. We are all called, and we all serve in our own way, according to our calling.

The escape and return of the Holy Family

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The flight into Egypt.

The Magi left, and an angel of the Lord suddenly appeared to Joseph in a dream. The angel said “Get up! Flee to Egypt with the baby and his mother and stay there until I tell you it is safe to return. Herod is about to search for the child to kill him.”

That very night he got up, and taking Mary and the child, escaped to Egypt. They stayed there until King Herod died. This fulfilled the prophecy of Hosea who said: “Out of Egypt I called my son.”

MT 2:13-15

The massacre of the innocents

Herod flew into a rage when he realized that the Magi had outwitted him. He gave orders that all male children who were two years or less who lived in and around Bethlehem were to be massacred. This was because the Magi had told him that the star first appeared two years earlier.

This fulfilled the prophecy of Jeremiah who said “Cries of tears and mourning were heard in Ramah, Rachel weeping for her children, and she was unable to be consoled because they are dead.”

MT 2:16-18

The return to Nazareth.

Herod died, and an angel of the Lord suddenly appeared in a dream to Joseph while he was in Egypt, saying “Get up! Take the child and his mother and return to Israel, because those who wanted to kill the child are dead.”

Joseph immediately traveled to Israel with Jesus and Mary. While on the way he learned that Herod’s son, Archelaus, was king over Judea, so he was afraid to travel there. He was warned in a dream as well, so he went to Galilee instead and settled in a town called Nazareth. This fulfilled the words of the prophets who said “He will be called a Nazarene.”

MT 2:19-23

Jesus grew up in Nazareth, becoming strong, wise, and filled with God’s grace.

LK 2:40

In his father’s house.

The family travel to Jerusalem for the Passover festival every year. When he was 12 years old, Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem while his family traveled back home to Nazareth. His parents didn’t notice his absence the first day because they thought he was walking with friends among all the other travelers. Then they began to look for him among their friends and relatives. Not finding him, they returned to Jerusalem to continue their search. They finally found him after three days. He was sitting among the teachers in the Temple complex, listening to them and asking them questions. Everyone who heard him talk was amazed at the depth of his understanding and answers. His parents were astonished when they saw him.

Mary said “Son! Why have you treated us this way? Your father and I have been worried sick looking for you.” Jesus replied “Why were you searching for me? Didn’t you know that I would be in my Father’s house?” But they didn’t understand what he was saying.

Then he returned to Nazareth and obeyed them, and Mary stored up this story in her heart. Jesus grew in wisdom and height, as well as in favor with God and people.

LK 2:41-52

Poem – can’t look at God

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Look at all the people in the Bible who say
they can’t look at God
– to look at God,
they will surely die.

An angel appears and they
throw themselves
down to the ground,
protesting.

Where did they learn this behavior?
The angel never says
“Grovel, because God’s messenger is present”,
in fact,
the angel says the opposite.
The angel says “Stand up.”

Gideon, Joshua, Jacob,
to name a few.
Moses protested a lot.

They all said that they felt
unworthy
to look at the angel,
to be that close to God.

But consider this:
– the mere fact that God
chose to appear to you
is proof
that you
are good enough.

And consider this:
Mary
didn’t throw herself down.
Mary
didn’t grovel or whimper.

And perhaps
that is the difference.
Perhaps the Messiah
will come to all of us
when we realize
that we are worthy,
as we are.

The visit of the Magi.

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Wise men entitled Magi (who were ministers and astrologers from Eastern lands) arrived in Jerusalem after Jesus was born in Bethlehem, during the reign of King Herod. They began to ask “Where is the King of the Jews who has just been born? We came to worship him because we saw his star rising in the east.”

King Herod and everyone in Jerusalem were upset and concerned by their question. Herod called a meeting of all the chief priests and scribes, asking them where the Messiah would be born.

They answered that it was to be in Bethlehem of Judea because the prophet Micah said: “You Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are not an unimportant Judean village, because a leader will come from you who will shepherd the people of Israel.”

Then Herod secretly sent for the Magi to find out exactly when they first saw the star. He told them “Go to Bethlehem and find this child, then come back and let me know where he is so that I can go and worship him as well.”

The Magi continued their journey to Bethlehem after leaving Herod. They were overjoyed because the star that they had seen led them straight to where the child was. They entered the house where the child and his mother were and fell to their knees to worship him. They presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. Then they returned home by a different route because they were warned in a dream not to go back to Herod.

MT 2:1-12

Poem – now is not the time

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Odd how
on my lunch break,
my own time,
I always worry about
what I’m going to do next
always
check my schedule
always
think I’m missing something

meaning that
I’m missing
the most important thing
which is
my time
right then.

Trying to multitask
means I’m not doing
the task
at hand.

While worrying about
saving time
I end up
losing it.

Anna’s testimony

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A prophetess named Anna was also at the Temple that day. She was a daughter of Phanuel, who was of the tribe of Asher. She was very old, and had been a widow for 84 years, having been married for seven years before that. She served God constantly with fasting and prayer, never leaving the Temple complex.

While Simeon was talking with Mary and Joseph, she also began to praise God and tell everyone that their long awaited Messiah had arrived.

LK 2:36-38

Simeon’s prophetic praise.

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There was a righteous and devout man named Simeon who lived in Jerusalem. The Holy Spirit was with him, and he looked forward to the coming of the Messiah. The Holy Spirit had revealed to him that he would not die until he had seen the Messiah. Led by the Spirit, he entered the Temple complex when Joseph and Mary brought Jesus to dedicate him to the Lord, according to the Law.

Taking Jesus in his arms, Simeon praised God and said:

“Lord, now I can die in peace. For I have seen the Savior as you promised I would. In the presence of everyone you have prepared a light of revelation to the nations and glory to your people Israel.”

Joseph and Mary were amazed at what he was saying about their child. Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary “Truly, this child is destined to unsettle many in Israel and to be a sign that will be spoken against. You will be sick at heart that people’s scheming thoughts will be made known.”

LK 2:25-35

The circumcision and presentation.

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Eight days after he was born, the baby was circumcised and named Jesus, in accordance with what the angel said before he was conceived.

When the time came for Mary’s offering at the temple as required by the Law after the birth of a child, his parents brought him to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord. The Law states that every firstborn male shall be dedicated to the Lord. They were required to offer a sacrifice of either a pair of turtledoves or two young pigeons.

LK 2:21-24