The best Thanksgiving ever

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Originally posted on FB 11-22-12

A few years after my parents died, I was faced with a pretty bleak Thanksgiving. My boyfriend at the
time had decided to go to South Carolina to visit family, and I couldn’t go because I had to work that weekend. I was bummed about that too because I didn’t normally work on the weekend at Sweetly Southern, which was a store at the Choo Choo that sold American-made crafts. Everybody else had asked off for that weekend, so I was stuck with it. And it was the weekend after Thanksgiving, so it would be insanely busy. And it was my birthday. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.

Then I thought, I bet there is somebody else who is facing a pretty lonely Thanksgiving. I thought about a friend of mine in the medieval reenactment group (SCA) I belonged to back then. Rowan! Yeah! He’ll surely be alone for Thanksgiving. His family is as dysfunctional as you get. So I asked him the next time I saw him at a SCA meeting. “Hey – Rowan, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?” He told me that he was fine and gave me a winning smile. Something didn’t sound right. I asked his roommate. As I suspected, Rowan had told me that everything was fine when it really wasn’t. He didn’t want me to worry about him. He had nowhere to go and was also going to be alone. Time to change tactics. I went back up to him. “Hey – Rowan – my parents are dead. My boyfriend is going to be out of town. I’m going to be alone for Thanksgiving. —-What are you doing for Thanksgiving?….” I said pointedly. He got it. He gave me a huge smile. “I’d love to spend Thanksgiving with you!” he exclaimed. Then two other people overheard. “ Thanksgiving at Betsy’s house? Yeah – that sounds like a great idea. We can ditch the parents!” Then others caught the excitement.

One couple had ordered a turkey already and then their plans had changed – so they had a turkey and nobody to eat it with. This was a perfect solution. Another couple always dreaded going to their respective parents’ houses – too much driving, too much drama all in one day. Other people had nowhere to go. Other people were grateful of an excuse to get away from their families. The Orphan Thanksgiving was born. I ended up having a dozen people in my house, none of whom I was related to. I provided a place and spiral-cut ham. They provided everything else, including washing-up. There was laughter and love, and the best kind of family gathering ever – the family that you create out of choice.

They say misery loves company, and this case, it got mixed up in a sort of alchemy where misery got transformed into love.

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On “Apostolic Succession” and ordained leaders

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Originally posted on FB 11-21-12

The Episcopal church and the Catholic church have something called “apostolic succession”. This means that we can trace our roots back to the apostles. This means that when somebody gets confirmed or received into these churches, they have hands laid on them by somebody who had hands laid on them, by somebody who had hands laid on them, all the way back to Jesus. This is pretty overwhelming to think about. It really connects you with the “then” – it becomes the “now”.

I was telling a co-worker about this and he said they were apostolic at his church too. I felt like explaining that his little church that his grandfather started, this little church that has self-appointed ministers and no oversight, is not part of this story. But I didn’t, and I’m glad.

It is. All churches are. All Christians are.

The touch doesn’t matter – it is the message. And the only way you are going to hear the message of who Jesus is and what he did for you and what he continues to do for you is going to be from another Christian. Either it is by them talking to you personally, or from reading in a book. This stuff doesn’t spring up out of the ground. Yes, we are told that even if there is nobody to preach the Gospel, even the rocks will proclaim it, but I think there is no need for that. There are plenty of people around who can and will tell their story of who Jesus is and what he has done for them without having rocks start talking.

Each person heard the story from someone who heard the story from someone who heard the story who was there with Jesus (except for Paul, but he is a special case). So the whole idea of how special it is that these churches have apostolic succession is bunk. We all have apostolic succession.

This also ties into the idea of ordained ministers. Not every organized religion has leaders who are set apart and specially trained. The Sikhs are the first example that comes to my mind. Then there are also Quakers and the Baha’i. Some have leaders who are respected as leaders because they have through their lives shown especial piety and reverence, so they are trusted and looked to. However, the moment they start veering from the path, their fellow members of the congregation will call them on it.

Now – the only way they can call them on it is if they themselves know the path. The only way they can know the path is if they too practice piety and study. I’ve heard in the Eastern Orthodox church that each member is expected to read the Bible for themselves and to study and pray just as much as their Pope does. Their Pope also considers himself to be an equal with them – he is not infallible, he is not above question. In fact, the idea that he can be questioned and challenged is part of what keeps him forever accountable. That accountability is what keeps him humble and honest and not grabbing for power. That power isn’t ours to grab. That power is received by us to then be distributed by us. We are not called to hoard power.

I think the moment you give away your own power, your own religious learning and study, and you expect a religious leader to do it all for you, you have become lost. Yes, it is good to have people you trust, people who have studied. It is good for each member of the community to be accountable to each other member. But it is also good for each member of the community to build each other up with their own skills and knowledge. Each person has unique skills and experience. Each person’s viewpoint is helpful. Remember the Sufi story of the blind men and the elephant? It is only through them talking together and sharing their perception of what they were dealing with that they were able to understand the whole.

I’m going to be bold here and say that I think that is also true of world religions. I think God has called to His creation time and time again. I think God has constantly tried to get us to hear and know that He loves us and wants us to work with Him to make this a better world. I think we short-change ourselves when we only hear one voice and one perspective. Look at the Gospels. Those are four different viewpoints of the same story. They could have been woven together and created into one story, but they weren’t. Sure, you can buy something called a Parallel Gospel and that will put them all together for you. But that is extra. If you buy a Bible with a New Testament, you are going to get four different yet the same stories all telling you who Jesus was. Some stress different parts. Some have the same parables repeated. Some have parts that only are in that one Gospel. Where’s the truth? I say the truth is in all of them, all together. I tell you that it is up to us to winnow through and separate the wheat from the chaff, but we have to go out into the field.

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On prayer bracelets

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Beads have been used for millennia as tools for prayer. In fact, our word “bead” comes from the Anglo-Saxon word “biddan” meaning “to pray”. If a woman was using her rosary, she was said to be saying her beads, not her prayers. The two words were interchangeable. And, in a lighthearted vein, we can say that beads are truly “hole-y”.
I came up with the idea for prayer bracelets when I had a couple of friends who were struggling with different issues. One had a father who was terminally ill, and one was trying to defeat drug addiction. I wanted a way to let them know that I was praying for them that had some tangibility to it.
I believe that God made each of us with unique talents and gifts for a reason, so I decided to use my love of working with beads for this purpose. The response from my friends to these bracelets has inspired me to spread this way of praying.
Prayer bracelets can be for different intentions:
You can make one for someone else to let them know you are praying for them. All too often when we tell someone that we are praying for them, they forget a few hours later. With a beaded bracelet, they will have a constant reminder of your concern and love for them. It isn’t “preachy” or obvious – it is a subtle reminder. In this case, you will make a bracelet for your friend and think and pray about her or him while you make it. Wear it for about a week and pray for her or him every time you see the bracelet. Then give it to your friend, telling them about how you made it and wore it while praying for them the entire time.
You can make one to remind you to pray for others – with every bead representing a person on your prayer list. This came about because I had so many people on my prayer list that I needed some way of keeping up with it. I pulled out my bead boxes and selected a bead for each person on my list. This way, when I see it, I remember to pray for each person. I think it is also a good idea to have some “blank” beads, or ones that are not for any particular person. It is good to remember to pray for those who have nobody to pray for them. This reminds us that we are all part of one Body in Christ.
You can also make one for yourself to remind you of a goal that you would like to reach – stopping smoking, getting in better health, spending more time reading the Bible, etc. This is similar to offering a specific intention at Eucharist. Sometimes we need reminders to ourselves that we have made a commitment to improve ourselves.
No matter what you choose to do with your bracelet, it is my hope that you see this as yet another way to pray and connect with God. There are as many ways to pray as there are people on this Earth.

Pray like Jonah

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I really like Jonah. He seems so real to me. There are so many people in the Old Testament who when God calls to them they say right away “Here I am” and get right to what God is asking them to do. This is so not like me, and I suspect a lot of people. Many people might think “Oh no! I’m hearing a voice in my head! I must be crazy!” Or if they do realize it is the voice of God, they think “Really? Now? I’m really getting comfortable here, God. Can’t this wait until after the game/my children have grown up/ I’ve retired?” We are forever putting off what we are called to do. Yet we forget that is why we are here – we are part of God’s plan. We are part of creation, and we are co-creators with God. He works through and with us to bring about His will.

Jonah is like us. He hears the voice of God, telling him to go to Ninevah and tell them they are screwing up and to repent. Did he go to Ninevah? Oh gosh no. He heads off in completely the opposite direction. A lot of other cool things happen – a storm, lots are cast and it is discovered Jonah is the reason for the storm, Jonah fesses up, the shipmates are impressed by how powerful the God of the Jews is. Jonah asks to be thrown overboard. He has no idea that God has arranged for a huge whale to swallow him up. He just knows that he has messed up and it is time to pay for his error. Perhaps he hopes he can finally get out of having to go to Ninevah.

But God rescues him. He is in the belly of the whale for three days. I can’t even imagine liking being in a whale’s gut for three minutes, much less three days. It had to be dark. It had to be smelly. No sound other than the gurgle of the whale’s organs and the sea outside. Fish bits floating around. Warmth? I doubt it.

Yet here is the amazing thing. Jonah didn’t raise his fist against God in that time. He praised God. Praised Him! How many of us have the fortitude to say “Thanks! You are an awesome God!” while in the middle of our own personal whales? We all get swallowed up by whales – divorce, disease, disaster. All those huge life events that can either make us turn away from God (How dare you do this to me…) or turn towards God (Hey, can you do me a favor…) No. Jonah sang God’s praises.

In the middle of tragedy, there are still things to be thankful for. Look for those things. Give thanks for them. And, like Jonah, may you be delivered safely upon the shore after you give thanks.

(Originally posted on FB on 11-13-12)

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The power of group prayer.

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Originally posted on FB 11-8-12

There is something to be said for the power of group prayer.

A few days ago I felt like I was going into battle at work. A lot of nonsense is going on with management and I felt very conflicted. The rules keep changing on what we are allowed to do, and we feel that we are being pitted against each other in each department. Jesus tells us to pray for our enemies. That is very hard, as you well know. I wanted strength to get through the day with my faith intact, knowing that God is always with me and serving as a good witness to His love.

I remembered all the prayers that lifted me up at Cursillo. Those prayers, from friends and strangers, helped me to get where I needed to be. Those prayers helped me and others overcome physical limitations so that we could be fully present that weekend. I wondered if there was a way I could tap into that power again, and while wondering it came to me that there are monks and nuns, both Christian and Buddhist, who are praying for everyone all across the world, right now. They are praying for peace and harmony and joy. They are praying for one-ness with each other and with our Creator .

I claimed those prayers. I claimed them as mine and tied into that web of support. I felt buoyed up, strengthened by a cloud of witnesses who do not even know me.

Last night I remembered that, and decided to pay it forward. It is good to pray for others by name, but it is also good to pray for those people you don’t even know. We can pray that they are helped, raised up, loved. That they are served by others as Christ would serve them. That those who are lost are found. That those who are found turn that light outwards towards others and expand the family of awakened humans.

I’m thankful that I am in this communion of saints, and thankful that I am learning how to give and receive this kind of support.

There is a hymn that has the refrain “We are one in the Spirit, we are one in the Lord”. It is time to make that real. We say in America “E pluribus unum” – out of many, one.

What would happen if this Body of awakened people all started to move as one?

Love in action is the very definition of God through Christ. The Bodhisattva vow also speaks to this. It is the vow of an enlightened person to not go on to Nirvana but to stay behind and help others achieve enlightenment. I am sure there are other examples like this throughout the world in other religions.

Our goal is to seek and serve God by serving our fellow humans, and all creation, treating everyone and everything with respect and love.

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Everyday Miracles

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Originally posted on FB 11-6-12

We expect miracles. We want healing right now. We want things to happen right away.

We forget that God uses us. God created us as co-creators, according to Madeline L’Engle in her book “Walking on Water”. We are his agents in this world. Saint Theresa of Avila said that Christ has no hands or feet on this Earth but ours.

We forget that God called Moses to lead His people out of Egypt. God didn’t do it Himself – He wanted a human to work with Him to bring forth freedom and healing and peace. We forget that Samuel was given the message of doom for Eli. And most of all we forget that Mary brought forth Christ. There are countless stories throughout the Bible of God calling people to do His will here, on Earth as it is in Heaven.

God calls all of us. That is why He made us. Yes, you, right there, right where you are. God wants you. Consider this to be like those old US Army posters – your Uncle Sam needs you! But really, it is your Heavenly Father who needs you.

In all of those stories, God asked the person if they would help, and sometimes there was a bit of arguing. “Me? Really? I’m not any good at that. Can’t you send somebody else?” is a fairly common recap. Rarely do they just say straightaway “Here I am, Lord” or “Let it be to me according to Your will.”

God works through us every day. He sends a friend to listen. He sends us to a stranger to do the same. He sends a kind nurse to notice that we have a health problem we should tend. He sends us to cheer on a friend who is trying to quit smoking.

To paraphrase John F. Kennedy – ask not what your God can do for you – ask what you can do for your God.

You don’t have to wait for the call – you have already been called. Be kind. Show love. Don’t gossip. Encourage others. Teach. Offer a shoulder to cry on. Feed the hungry. Work at a food kitchen. Volunteer with Second Harvest. Work for peace – at home, at work, in the neighborhood, in the world. Every little bit counts, and it all adds up. Do not do nothing for fear of not being able to do everything.

The miracle is that God is with us all the time, and He will never forsake us. God constantly helps us. God strengthens us and raises us up from the chaos of the world. God performs His miracles through us. That is the real miracle – that God needs us, and wants us, and loves us. He never said this life would be easy, but He always says that He will be with us, to the ends of the earth.

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At the Chattanooga Choo-Choo

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Originally posted on FB 11-2-12

When I worked at the Chattanooga Choo Choo, I had a really cool experience.

I worked at a craft store that faced the gardens. The trolley was across the way, and was a cherished part of my childhood. It was from New Orleans, ran on electricity, and was over 100 years old. For 50 cents you could take a ride in it around the complex and seemingly through time.

I stepped out of my store on afternoon and saw a young boy who was about 5, with his Mom close behind. I wanted to share the trolley with him – I wanted him to experience how fun and amazing it was. I said in a bright cheery voice – “Have you ridden the trolley?” and I pointed to it. He turned, looked, and turned back. Nothing. No light, no recognition. Wait – all boys love trains and trolleys. How could he not light up at the sight of this one?

I decided to get down on his level. I came down from the step at the threshold of my store, and went down to my knees near the same area where he was standing. I wanted to see things from his perspective. I looked. Of course he didn’t see it – there was a huge mass of pampas grass in the way! I’d been taller than it, so I’d not seen it as an obstruction. I got up, moved over, got down again, and looked. There was the trolley in clear view. I called out again – “Look, the trolley!” and I pointed again. He came over, saw it, and lit up. He went running for it, filled with delight and joy.

Now, the older I get, the more I see this as a story of how God interacts with us. The boy represents us. The trolley is Heaven on Earth, the Kingdom of God. It is life, and life in abundance. When I stood on the step, I was God of the Old Testament. “Look – there’s where happiness is!” But many of us can’t get there that way. We can’t trust that voice. We can’t see it, so we don’t get what we are supposed to be excited about. We don’t know how to get there. Some of us can – and that is awesome. But some of us are slower, less trusting in our Creator. We need a little extra help.

Then God changes Himself. He so wants us to have joy, to be happy, that He came down to be like us. He came down to our level to see things from our perspective. “Oh, that’s why you couldn’t get it! There was stuff in the way!” And he showed us a new way. A way stripped of all the rules, and just boiled down to two. Love God, and in a similar manner, love everyone else. Love. Just love. Show kindness. Be forgiving. Serve. Love.

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Selfishness and self-less-ness

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Originally posted on FB 4-11-2012

I’m wary and weary of the new trends in spirituality that I’m seeing. I’m concerned and saddened that the current trend seems to be self-centered. Yes – you are important. Yes, you need to have a good sense of yourself. Yes – you are valued and loved by your Creator.

But so is everybody else. Every other person on this Earth was created by the same Creator. Every other person on this Earth deserves love and honor. I’m concerned that this current trend of self-centered spirituality will result in self-service only. It is fine if it is a start. It is fine if it is a seed that then grows into love and service of others.

I find that the “name it and claim it” trend is part of this. Wishful thinking. Magical thinking. Whether it is cloaked as New Age or spun into Christianity by Joel Osteen, it still feels like object-worship. It is materialism gussied up into religion. Don’t have time to be spiritual? Don’t think it is for you? But you want stuff – right? Well, here’s a religion for you! This way you can want stuff and feel good about it.

But stuff only leads you away. Things, material possessions, are a quick fix. Get what you want by praying for it, wishing for it, and you have more stuff. But then I feel you will still be empty. And then you’ll need to pray for a bigger house to hold all your stuff.

I think our Creator made us to be bigger than that. We are not born alone. When we are born, we are born into a community. At a minimum our Mom is there. In some cases it seems like the entire family is there – Dad, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings – where there is barely room for nurses and a doctor (if necessary). Our religions have prayers for welcoming new children among us. Why should our lives be any different?

I remember telling a lady about how Jesus stripped things down for us, because the Ten Commandments were just too hard for us to figure out. Love God, and love your neighbor. Easy. Everything else falls from that – you can’t steal, covet, or murder if you are showing love. How simple is that? Yet we’ve twisted it. It is becoming solely “love yourself” – and that love isn’t spreading outward.

I believe that God created every single one of us exactly the way we are because that is exactly the way we are needed. Variety is good. Eccentricity is good. We all have different talents and gifts. A garden doesn’t look nearly as interesting if it has only roses blooming in it. Add some zinnias and hyacinth and phlox and we’ve got something really cool. The same is true with a symphony. The trumpet may be a really important instrument, but it needs a tuba to round out the bottom notes, and there needs to be a drum section to keep the pace.

I believe that the best way to know God is to seek Him in his creation – and for some, that is in the wilderness. Some find insight and growth by working with plants and animals. I find however, that the most challenge comes in seeking God in people. Mother Teresa said that it was her privilege to serve other people. She felt that each person she served was Jesus in disguise. That the leper’s wounds were Christ’s wounds. That the baby dying in her arms was Christ himself. I think this is a powerful meditation.

About two years ago I started trying this at the library. I’m not doing earth-changing things. I’m creating library cards. I’m solving problems. But I decided to try this. To try to see each person as if they are Jesus, as if they are God made Flesh, in front of me. To my happiness, it resulted in profound experiences. Almost every person caught that vibe. They responded differently to me – more smiles, more open. Each transaction was easier. This doesn’t mean that everybody was happy. Sometimes you can’t make that happen in a five minute encounter. But the old, crotchety, smelly, snaggle-toothed characters that populate the library became my favorites. I now look forward to meeting with them and helping them. The weirder they are, the more I have to look for God hiding within them. The more I look – the more they see my interest in them. The more they soften up and reveal themselves to me. It is beautiful.

I invite you to look outside yourself.

I invite you to know that you are loved, and to then know that everyone else is loved in exactly that same way.

I invite you, that if you are a seeker of God – if you desire to know your Creator better, you can do no better than to serve your fellow humans. Each one is a facet into the beauty and mystery of the Eternal, the Divine, the Truth.

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Paths and Stars

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Originally posted on FB 2-27-12

I’ve noticed that a lot of the images that appeal to me either involve paths or stars. Generally, they are paths that have nobody in front – it is a clear path, leading on. From the perspective of the photographer or painter, s/he is the only person on the path. There might be folks behind – but there certainly is nobody up ahead.

And then there are stars. Part of why I like stars is because of the three Magi. They followed a star, in the dark, to an unknown land. No map, no idea of where they were going – but they followed. They knew that something special, something never before seen was at the end of that journey.

My life’s journey is like this. I feel called. I know what the end is. I’m just not sure how to get there. And for the longest time, I wasn’t sure that I was the one to be going on that journey. Me? Really? I have a mental health diagnosis. I’m bipolar. Society doesn’t look well on the mentally ill. Folks look at you differently when you tell them such things. I’m running a risk here by writing about it. But – that is the way I’m made. It is a genetic weakness – a chemical imbalance. I take medicine. I’ve been in the hospital twice – but both times were where I noticed that something was wrong and I asked for help. It was over a decade ago that I was last in the hospital. One doctor even said I was the sanest person she knew. But that didn’t mean I was healed – I still got a prescription, and I still took it.

But paths, and stars. I’m not going to say what I’m called to – not here. That is really big, and private. And I’m still concerned about embarrassing God. So many folks say that God has called them to something, and they do it in a very human way and it falls and fails. And yet again, God’s church looks laughable. So many times I remind myself that I follow Christ – not Christians. But I don’t want to be part of the problem. I don’t want to be a bad example. I don’t want to be that person who makes those not of this faith think that Christians are goofballs. There are countless examples for this already.

So I follow, blindly. I follow without a map. I walk, one step in front of the other. I trust in the Star. I trust in the Light that shines. I follow because that is how I’m made. I have come to trust that I was made the way I’m made (bipolar disorder and all) because that is how I’m needed. I have come to trust that force, that pull, that call that tells me to create something new. That force that tells me to create new out of old. The same creative pull that got me to break apart old jewelry from thrift stores and redesign the beads into a new creation is at work here. That was prelude. That was practice. It gave shape to a need to reform, retranslate, rebuild.

I follow God because that is how I’m made. It isn’t an easy path. I don’t even know how I’m going to get there. I’m only vaguely aware of what “there” is. But everything else He has ever told me was going to happen has happened. So I trust, that this, the first thing He ever told me, will too. This call, from so many years ago, has kept me going. Like the Magi, I walk in darkness, seeking the Light. Like the Magi, I walk over unseen territory – unmapped, unknown. Like the Magi, I have faith that I am not being led in vain.

God is not your waiter.

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Originally posted on FB February 3, 2012

God wants you to pray. God wants opinions in the opinion box. He made humans with free will because he wants us to be more than part of creation – he wants us to be co-creators. He wants us to voluntarily participate in our lives and to choose good over evil.

But He doesn’t do what you ask Him to do because you ask Him to do it.

God answers prayers all the time. Sometimes the answer is yes. Sometimes it is no. Sometimes it is not now. If you don’t get what you prayed for – be thankful. Yes. Be thankful. We humans simply do not have the sense of perspective necessary to know what is best for us. Children may ask their parents for the latest toy, and their parents may refuse. The child gets upset. But the parents know that the child has gotten all the previous latest toys and ignored them. Or, they know that they are saving up for something better, so they can’t spend their money on this item.

I have a friend whose husband prayed for healing for a family friend. The friend died. Now the husband says he doesn’t know what to believe. He should believe that God is in charge. Who are we to tell God what to do? Who are we to even presume to go to our Creator and say “you have to do this” – like spoiled little children?

“When Bad Things Happen to Good People” by Rabbi Harold Kushner is very helpful on this subject.

The Bible is full of examples of people who apparently changed God’s mind. His wrath was turned away, or special dispensation was made, or healing occurred when there was no hope previously. But God does what God does. If you get what you ask for, cool. But if you don’t get what you ask for – cool as well. It is more than likely for the best. Remember the old saying – “Watch what you pray for – you may get it.” Fortunately God will give you nothing bad. It may not seem good to you at the time, but with time and perspective, you may come to see the wisdom in not getting what you wanted.