Use your words (a meditation on making art)

Posted on March 7, 2016 by betsybeadhead | Leave a comment

Parents tell children to “use your words” when they are feeling frustrated. But what if they don’t have words? What if the problem is that the things that they are experiencing are too large for words? It is important to give children as many different ways of expressing themselves as possible. Consider this – studies have proven that babies who are taught sign language before they are able to communicate verbally show a greatly reduced level of frustration.

I think that learning many ways for self expression is the cure for everything. Everyone needs to learn different ways to communicate. Sometimes words fail us.

The arts provide us with many other ways to communicate. Dancing, singing, playing a musical instrument, drawing, painting, knitting, beading – the list is endless. It is only limited by your imagination. Whatever you try is good.

Plenty of people are upset that the public schools are cutting their budgets and eliminating the arts. You don’t need to go to school to make art. In fact, school can’t teach you how to make art. You already know how to do that. Children do it without thinking, and this is the best way. Just have fun playing and you are on your way.

Not having a lot of money is also not an excuse. Crayons and paper are cheap. You can find used musical instruments at a thrift store. You can even create your own tools to create with.

I used to write a lot before my parents died. After they passed, writing was too much for me. Every time I tried, too much would come out and it would get tangled up. My feelings were too big to be expressed with words. Thankfully, I had beads as a form of self-expression at the time. I would string together beads like I had strung together words. They had rhythm and feeling. There was an internal logic to them. Did others know what I was saying? Not always. But that isn’t always necessary. In that instance, it wasn’t important that I communicate an idea to others. It was essential that I got those feelings through and then out of me.

These days I work on visual arts such as painting and collage as well. I find I can process deep emotions this way, handling them in a safe and healing way. Some things that come up while I’m making art were so buried that I didn’t even know they were there. I’m grateful for my practice of making art as a form of self-healing.

Art doesn’t have to be “good” to be useful. It can be more abstract than representational and still do the job. Nobody else has to even see it. In fact, not thinking about an audience usually means that you’ll do more and better work because you aren’t trying to edit it to make it “safe”.

If you want to use images and you aren’t good at drawing (yet), you can cut out pictures from magazines. Don’t have any? Ask your friends – someone has a few that they would normally throw away. Not good at mixing paint? Buy art paper with pretty designs and cut it up and glue it on. Consider having an art-supply swap meet, where everybody brings materials that they are tired of and switches out. You’ll find new ways to express yourself with new supplies.

Remember that anything you want to do well takes time and practice. Nobody is a Rembrandt overnight. Have patience with yourself, but most of all – play.

Quotes about making art

Posted on December 24, 2015 by betsybeadhead | Leave a comment

“Artists paint apples because they have the urge to paint apples. And if people like the art, that’s a bonus.” – Jeanne-Claude (partner of Christo)

———————
“You should paint pictures because you want to paint them, not because everyone wants you to paint them.”

“It’s your picture, and all that is important is developing your own vision. It only needs to please you semicolon pleasing everyone is impossible, anyway.”

From “Urban Watercolor Sketching” by Felix Scheinberger

———————-

“Don’t think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it’s good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art.” – Andy Warhol

———————
“The point is, art never stopped a war and never got anybody a job. That was never its function. Art cannot change events. But it can change people. It can affect people so that they are changed…because people are changed by art – enriched, ennobled, encouraged – they then act in a way that may affect the course of events…by the way they vote, they behave, the way they think.” -Leonard Bernstein

———————
“If you hear a voice within you say ‘You cannot paint’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” – Vincent Van Gogh

The perfect house

Posted on November 30, 2015 by betsybeadhead | 4 Comments

A home is a sanctuary, an entrance into a special place to recharge and restore.

The perfect home for me involves a lot of places to lounge about near natural sunlight.

There would be reading nooks with lots of pillows.

The bedroom would have a view onto the garden.

The dining room would have an entire wall be a window. The focus is on the outside, not the inside. Notice the sparse furniture. Simple, efficient.

The yard would be enclosed in such a way that nobody could get in, but the walls would be concealed on my side with plants. This would provide safety without a sense of being trapped.

The back yard would have a staircase

That led to an outside room, perhaps like a Japanese tea house. But it would have cushions and pillows.

In some ways I like the idea of an outside bathroom. It feels daring and bold.

But it also seems like it would be cold and drafty.

So then there is the idea of a bathroom that has a lot of light – again, the idea of a private yard would be necessary.

A view out onto a Japanese tea garden would be excellent.

The house would have no straight lines – all curves and waves, with white or cream on the walls. The color would come from the floor and accessories like pillows.

And there would be a lot of books. And tea. And craft supplies.

The always not-quite-ness of being an artist.

Posted on June 11, 2015 by betsybeadhead | 1 Comment

Part of being an artist is always feeling incomplete. If you were content, you have no need to create. You would not have a lack, a hole, a vacuum, an emptiness. Artists create to fill that blank space. They must.

But the problem is that they never feel complete. They make the painting, the poem, the play, the piano sonata – and it isn’t enough. They still don’t feel done. The piece may be good enough for now, but it is never what they saw in their heads. So they have to try to fix it, or make another one, or move onto another project.

It is like living in a world where you can hear another language in your head, but you can’t ever fully speak it. Just trying to say the words is like speaking with your mouth full of water. Yet you keep trying, because to not try means to not communicate at all.

The language you were given as a child, be it English, Russian, Somali, Korean, is a pale second to your first language, which is being creative. Then, because nobody teaches you how to speak that language, you are constantly frustrated in trying to express yourself.

Yet the more you try, the better you get. Try learning different techniques from other artists, either in person or in a book. Get different art supplies. Learn a different thing entirely. If you paint, write a poem. If you write plays, learn to play the guitar. Art is art is art and it all feeds into the well you draw on to find your “words”.

Make something every day, even if it is a small something. Be okay with not being perfect. The only failure is to not try at all. Instead of getting frustrated at that not-enough feeling, learn to embrace it as why you create. Without it, you’d be a robot.

Poem – why make art?

Posted on January 22, 2015 by betsybeadhead | 4 Comments

Do you do it anyway?
When they hate
your art, your music, your writing
or just you?

Or,
when you don’t get any
likes
comments
shares
do you do it anyway?

Indifference can be a killer
of motivation, of creativity, of a career.
Or even a killer, period.

Who are you when nobody’s applauding
or even noticing?
Without fame, what is your name?

If you keep writing, drawing, making
because you must, because it must
be, be written, be drawn, be made

then you are there.

No empty art will do,
will fill your empty heart
that beats to the drum of a thousand
empty followers.

If you create because you must,
then that is your pay,
the knowing that you have birthed
a spark of God,
have been midwife to Creation.

Menopause and art

Posted on October 14, 2014 by betsybeadhead | Leave a comment

Menopause is a time of shifts and changes. It is a time where you are no longer physically able to be creative. And by creative, I mean procreative – you are no longer able to produce a baby. But the energy and desire to create is still part of being human, and still needs to be used. It just needs a different outlet.

We are the physical vessels through which God is revealed and works in this world. God gives us the energy and we provide the shape. We are created to be co-Creators with God.

When you go through menopause your ability to create changes and you have to navigate these unusual waters. I like to think about how a caterpillar knows what to do when it becomes a butterfly. Who tells it how to fly? How does it know how to move with these new legs? Everything is different and strange – yet it is normal. It isn’t like it was, but it is like it should be. Perhaps we forget that menopause isn’t a disease. We are transforming into something else. It doesn’t herald the end of life but the beginning of a whole new one.

Being creative saved me and taught me. Art is what saved me when my back hurt. Even though I had to hunch over my desk in order to make my art, somehow the slipped disc in my back no longer hurt.

I found this to be true with doing art now as well. The need isn’t as immediate, but rather it is cumulative. Now, doing art in some form every day centers and focuses me. When my mind was filled with too many ideas, writing helped me slow things down enough that I could think. Painting and making collage at least twice a week has given me a way to create and express myself that don’t use words. Drumming has restored my rhythm.

It took a while to learn how to navigate with these new wings. I didn’t have a guide. Mom died long before she thought about telling me how to “do” menopause. Even if she was alive now, I doubt she’d talk about this. Somehow the reality of being in a physical body was something that she just didn’t talk about. Perhaps being a person was too personal.

Part of my learning was done the hard way. There were a lot of nights where I didn’t get enough sleep, and days where I felt I was going to melt. Hot flashes aren’t a “Western construct” as one person (younger) told me. They are a reality. They aren’t in my mind. I didn’t expect them to happen so soon – so it certainly wasn’t something that I manifested. I’ll concede that perhaps hot flashes are a result of the Western lifestyle (eat whatever you want, don’t exercise).

Some of what I did was to get up when I couldn’t sleep. I would wake, hot in body and mind. Instead of staying in bed, I decided to use that energy. I didn’t want to disturb my husband or concern him though, so I didn’t get all the way up. I moved to another room and turned on one small light. I sat on a recliner in mostly darkness and wrote in my journal or in my Kindle. Some of what I wrote became this blog. Often I’d return to bed, having “burned off” that heat – yet I’d produced something useful with it.

I also started the practice of getting ready to go to work a little earlier. I made time every morning to do something artistic – watercolor pencil drawing, painting, collage, or my new “fortunate stamps” pieces. This took just 20 minutes in the morning, but it has been enough to help me immeasurably. I really notice when I don’t make time to do it. I’m starting to think of making art as a multi-vitamin. It strengthens and protects me.

I’m using this energy I’m finding to take new classes and discover what I want to do “when I grow up”. The coasting I was doing during my middle ages has changed. I no longer want to drift through life. I am trying to play it safe and be bold at the same time, so there is some tension there. I keep taking classes in helping people communicate with each other. There is something about peacemaking and leveling the playing field all rolled up together. My tutoring is factoring into this as well.

Menopause is a chance to discover new wings. It is a time to assess priorities. It is a shift of energy. It isn’t the end – but it is a reminder that life isn’t permanent. For me, creating has been a way to feel like I’m making a difference, that my existence matters. Deep down, that is the reason behind most human activity, according to Matthew Fox in his book “Creativity”. Properly channeled, it results in greatness.

Bead control

Posted on September 29, 2014 by betsybeadhead | Leave a comment

I once taught a prayer bracelet workshop at a silent retreat. That was very difficult for me. I normally want to control things, and when I can’t talk, I can’t control. I could have written down what I wanted to tell people right then but either I didn’t think about that or I thought that was cheating. I had printed instructions for the very first silent retreat that I taught at but it seems like nobody read them or followed them.

There was a certain length of cord that I provided for the bracelets this time. That helped a lot. When I’ve taught prayer bracelet classes before where I could talk, people sometimes ended making bracelets that were either too short or too long. Some of them were more like necklaces.

Another thing that is important to tell people when making prayer bracelets is that they need to not put anything really heavy in the center because it will slide to that underside of your wrist and you’ll never see it. I couldn’t say that this time, and saw it happening. I knew the person would be frustrated later, but I had to let it go.

When I have taught the class before I would sometimes have to have people take the entire thing apart and redo it. At this retreat I couldn’t say anything, so I just had to let the bracelets be the way they were. Bracelets and people are a lot alike.

I had printed instructions telling them that they were supposed to put a special bead and then a plain bead and then a different special bead and the same kind of plain bead. Since the bracelets were only five dollars each this is a way that I wouldn’t lose money. Nobody did it this way. I had to let that go too.

I never thought that I would learn a lot about myself from teaching a prayer bracelet workshop at a silent retreat. It was hard to let go. I’ve invested a lot of my life into beads. Part of all of this was about relearning and unlearning. I wanted to share this new way of praying with people, but I didn’t need to do it in such a way that I needed therapy afterwards.

Art project as a distraction.

Posted on August 4, 2014 by betsybeadhead | Leave a comment

So I started an art project. Some people would call it redecoration. It was an intentional plan to distract myself, and to give myself something that I could focus on and see progress. I can’t fix what is going on with my parents-in-law, so I wanted something that I could fix.

It started off as a need to fix a problem. We had some ugly grout-tape in the bathroom. Instead of caulk to bridge the area between the shower surround and the tub, we had this stuff that was in a long strip and it stuck to both things. It kind of worked, until it didn’t. It was peeling apart from the shower surround, and mold was developing.

I was a little afraid to deal with it. I was concerned that it meant that there was water damage behind it, and this was going to result in a really expensive remodeling project. Water is as destructive as fire, but slower. I kept trying to stick it back on the wall, and it kind of worked. I asked my spouse to fix it and as usual it got put on the back burner. And as usual, I slowly worried about it more.

So I did what I do when I worry. I got books. Knowledge is power. I got every book on bathroom remodeling that my library branch had. I decided that this was now a Project. We’d save up our money and then we could do this right.

Fortunately, when my spouse got around to pulling the weird tape off, there was no evidence of water damage. There was a lot of mold, though, so I’m glad that it came down. He put caulk in there instead. It looks a lot better.

But by then I’d gotten the bug. Thankfully it wasn’t an expensive project, but it could still be a Project. We didn’t have to rip out the entire bathtub and shower and re-frame and put new tile. That would involve hiring professionals. There are things we can do, and that kind of stuff isn’t on the list.

But I saw a picture while I was looking through the books.

It was beautiful Tromp l’oeil. It is a koi’s eye-view of a pond. I went running with it. But I like goldfish and aquariums. So that is what I’m doing instead. But you can’t do that to start off with. Remember – paint the background first.

So then there had to be a trip to Lowe’s hardware. I went on my lunch break and picked up a few paint samples that were in the neighborhood of what I wanted. I brought them home and gave the spouse a choice.

It isn’t really a choice. I had already decided on what to let him look at. So no matter what he picked, I would be happy with it. This is straight out of working with kindergartners. Too many choices is a sure way to stop any work from going forward.

Then came time to paint. The room is too small for two people to work, and he doesn’t really “get” painting. He more than makes up for it in being able to fix minor plumbing and electrical problems, so I was OK with that. But it took three hours.

I’d forgotten that we had a dinner date with friends on Saturday night, so that meant I had to get this done on Friday to give it time to dry so we could take showers. That meant I got started on actually painting this project around nine, because we had to have supper first and there is always the prep work to do for painting.

I decided to do this without any music. I figured that it would disturb him. I don’t play my music around him, nor do I sing around him. That is something to write about for another day.

So I was stuck, painting, by myself, in a small room, for three hours, in silence. It was a new kind of hell.

Instead of getting away from my problems, I was right up in them. Everything I was trying to not think about was right there with me in that tiny room that smelled of latex paint.

I meditated on Jonah, one of my favorite characters who teaches me how to deal with problems. And I remembered that he was stuck in that whale for three days. So was Jesus – he was dead for three days. You can praise God all you want, but you are still going to have to wait until it is time for it to be over.

That helped. I was still in a foul mood, but at least I knew there was going to be an end to it. It reminds me of the person who had a ring made that said “This too shall pass” as a reminder for the bad times as well as the good times.

The next day I painted the leaves on the walls, because that had to be done before the fixtures could be put back. Scott was out of the house, so I put on music and sang along. It helped my mood a lot. It was also good that I started with something simple like long twisty leaves.

The next day I painted some fish. I didn’t think I could. I was planning on drawing them on watercolor paper and then gluing them on, or printing some out on inkjet paper and doing the same. I’m glad I gave painting them a try, because I surprised myself.

I had gone online for some reference pictures and printed them out on my printer. The resolution wasn’t that great, but it was a good start. I transferred the outline of the fish to the wall by holding the paper to the wall and tracing the lines Really Hard with a pencil, so it made a dent in the wall. Ideally, I’d have used carbon paper. I didn’t have any, and I didn’t feel like slowing down by going and getting some. Inspiration shouldn’t be messed with. If I slow down, the whole thing could have come to a complete stop.

The transfer of the lines worked. I mixed up some paint in a small plastic dish and went at it. I learned as I went. I used a dry brush technique for the fins. I painted seven goldfish. I plan to paint a castle, an old-time deep sea diver, a treasure chest, and a sunken galleon too. Later.

Today’s the third day, and I feel better. The room looks brighter. I’m still not finished with the fish (they need eyes) but I’m OK with that. The problems with the parents-in-law continue, but I’ve realized that isn’t my project. I’m sticking with the stuff that is my responsibility and leaving that to their sons.

How to be an artist

Posted on August 3, 2014 by betsybeadhead | Leave a comment

Do you want to know how to be an artist? I can tell you in one easy step. Make art. That’s it.

It doesn’t have to be pretty. It doesn’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to have a plan. Just create something. Follow your heart.

Paint by numbers doesn’t count. Copying something doesn’t count. Both are training, sure. Both teach you how to use the materials. That alone is half of learning how to be an artist.

But to create art, you have to create. You have to make it up and make it happen.

What is in your head won’t be what happens at first. Just like learning how to do any skill, creating art isn’t easy at the start. You’ll stumble and wobble.

Just keep making art anyway.

Every day, make a date with yourself to make something. After a few weeks, you’ll start seeing real progress. After a few months, you’ll start getting really good. You still won’t be an expert, and you’ll probably try some new technique you aren’t good at or suited for.

That is fine too. Keep making art. That is all there is to it.

If you want to be an artist, just make art.

Layered art

Posted on July 28, 2014 by betsybeadhead | Leave a comment

I just realized that I can create art by painting or drawing in layers, like Tibetan sand paintings. I saw a Thomas Kinkade painting with beautiful light in the windows. I felt like there was no way I could paint that perfectly – especially with a frame and panes. There is too much detail in too tight a space.
Then I saw the answer. Paint the background first. I never knew how useful that idea would be, and that I’d be inspired by a Thomas Kinkade painting, or figure out a technique from Tibetan sand paintings.
Those “paintings” aren’t flat. They are three dimensional. There are layers that the final viewer can’t see. The only way to see them is to be one of the people creating it.
I like that idea. Hidden art. Layers of art beneath art. This takes collage to a whole new level. I can put down a layer, and put another layer on top of it, with bits cut out to reveal the under-layer.
Life is like that – with layer upon layer creating a whole. You often can’t see all the work that went on to get to the finished product. Yet the starting work had to be there in order to get to the end.