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Fear is a terrible motivator. Let’s try love instead.

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Not too long ago I realized that fear was a terrible motivator for change. If you used fear as a motivator to lose weight, your fear usually ended up making you seek the very things that you didn’t need. You’d be afraid of diabetes or cancer but instead of using healthy coping mechanisms like exercise or meditation, you’d go back to smoking cigarettes or eating “comfort food” which is sadly never healthy. And then you’d be stuck in that ugly cycle again.

Love is a better motivator. You love how you feel after you eat a well-balanced meal. You love how you feel after you have a good night’s sleep. You love how you feel after you’ve had a walk around the block. Or you love your granddaughter, and you want to live long enough to see her get married and graduate from college. Or you love the book you are working on, and you want to finish writing it.

If you are working towards something, rather than running away from something, you are more likely to have good results.

I think the same thing is true with following Jesus. So many people try to sell the idea of Jesus as the boogeyman. They use him as a guilt trip, and try to drag you along for the ride.

They will say that you are going to burn in hell if you don’t follow Jesus. Or they will say that you can’t go to their church if you don’t follow him the way that they follow him. Or they say that you will be condemned by God. They are motivated out of fear. They will do what their pastor says, they won’t question anything, and they will stay within the lines of whatever proscription their church has set up for them.

I don’t know about you, but that kind of motivation never worked well for me. I’m a questioner. I’m a person who likes to ask “why”. In fact, I need to know the reason why I have to do something in order to know how to do it. It isn’t that I’m being difficult. I’m not trying to get out of whatever task I’ve been assigned. I just need to understand the “why” so I can understand the “how” and the “what”. Fortunately I had teachers who translated this as “gifted” instead of “obstinate”.

I never wanted the Jesus these fear-lead people were selling. The mean, overlord, high-school principle Jesus. The micromanaging boss Jesus. But sadly, these were the loudest people. This version of Jesus wasn’t what fit with what I read in the Gospels either. I needed a Jesus who was about love and service. I needed a Jesus who taught me how to humble myself, but not in a way that was belittling. I mean humble in a way that lets the light of God shine through, but using me as the lens. This way, I’m still there, but I’m not in the way. I become a vehicle, rather than a driver.

Consider two dogs. One is a service dog. He’s been trained to help a blind person with their daily life. He resists his own inner nature to chase the squirrel when he is crossing the street with his companion. This keeps his companion safe and headed in the right direction.

Or, alternately, there is a stray dog that got yelled at all the time by her owners. She was never trained how to behave properly, and she just gets yelled at every time she does wrong. All she hears is yelling. So this dog ran away from home and now cowers in fear all the time, never knowing when she is going to get yelled at.

The service dog has been humbled, but it is out of service and out of love. He resists his own inner nature that causes him to stray and act without thinking of the consequences. He serves another person, helping that person throughout the day. He is a guide in the truest sense. And it all started with proper training. The trainer taught the dog how to be the best dog it could be, with positive commands and encouraging desired behavior and ignoring unwanted behavior.

The other dog has been humbled, but not out of love. There is no direction or goal in that humbling. It is a scattered and destructive kind of humbling. That kind of humbling is a lessening. Sadly, that kind of humbling is what many churches want to do. They want to focus on sin rather than redemption.

If you yell at someone for doing something bad, then that is all they will be able to think about. It ends up becoming pathological. We all desire attention. But if we don’t get attention for what we do that is good, and we only get attention for what we do that is bad, even if it is negative attention, then that is what we will continue to do.

Jesus took away all the “don’ts” in the commandments. He gave us what to do. We are to love. We are to love God and our neighbors with all our heart and soul and strength and mind.

Now, personally, I’m the kind of person that needs a little more instruction than that, so I supplement my Christianity with Buddhism and Judaism, with a little bit of Hinduism and Sufism thrown in for flavor. Some Christians would cringe at that, but I hope to change their minds. We are told to love our neighbors. How can we show them love if we don’t understand anything about them? The more I learn about other faith traditions, the closer I get to God. It is all motivated out of love. God made all of us different because he needs us that way. God doesn’t want us to all be the same. That would be as boring as garden full of the same kind of flower or an orchestra with just one kind of instrument. I like daylilies and piccolos, but I also like roses and kettledrums. I think God does too.

I love the fact that I can take a yoga class (Hindu) in a YMCA (Christian), while listening to music that has Caribbean steel drums and Tibetan throat singing and Chinese hammered dulcimer. I love that I can go to a Chinese buffet and get Japanese and American food too. I love that we are waking up to the beauty of each other and celebrating our differences. I think this is part of what the Kingdom of Heaven is all about.

Stones

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I have a friend who needs more sleep. It will help with his anxiety and depression. It will help with his heart condition. It will help him to be more focused and less forgetful. He knows this, yet he keeps staying up late and getting up early, so every day is a repeat of the last and it is full of failure and pain. But like with liquor or drugs or any other vice he has to want to change and then there has to be grace in there somewhere too. It is hard to be stuck where you are, going around in circles. It is like Sisyphus, forever pushing that stone up a hill.

What stones do we have? Guilt. Shame. Anger. Fear. Hate. Racism. Abuse (of self or others). Drugs. Some of these stones are given to us by our parents, by classmates, by society. Some we pick up ourselves throughout our journey in life.

After a while it becomes very hard to carry all that weight. Sometimes we continue to carry our stones out of habit. Sometimes it is out of a sense of duty or obligation. Sometimes it is out of fear – what if we don’t know how to act without it? We’ve carried it around so long that we started to define ourselves by it.

I knew a guy who is an alcoholic. That is how he defines himself. He doesn’t say that he is a person with a drinking problem. The problem has become his personality. He has decided that “messed up” is who he is. He carries around this stone like it is a normal thing now.

I know women who stay with the same boyfriend for years even though it is plain that he is no good. He sits on the couch playing video games all day while she goes to work and supports both of them. He makes fun of her in public. But she stays, because she’d rather be in a bad relationship than no relationship at all. He is her stone. He weighs her down. But she doesn’t know how to move on. She doesn’t need him financially, and he isn’t helpful emotionally. But she’s defined herself by “being in a relationship”, even if it is unhealthy.

We are like that with our stones. We’d rather stick “with the devil you know” than to be on our own.

My Mom wanted to quit smoking for years, but she knew that my Dad would never quit. She thought it would be too hard to quit while he kept smoking. So she kept it up, all two packs a day of it. He finally left us to go live back home with his Mom (in his 50s) and then we found out my Mom had lung cancer shortly thereafter. She quit smoking then, but it was too late. She died at 53. Then he died just 6 weeks later. They had both killed themselves out of habit and an inability to change.

I wonder if Dad ever thought the same thing – that he wanted to quit smoking but didn’t think he could if Mom kept smoking? Wouldn’t that have been ?

I wonder if our friends and coworkers are like that? I’ll quit gossiping if you do. I’ll quit telling racist jokes if you do. What if we are playing chicken with each other? What if we are keeping ourselves back because of others? Who is going to be brave enough to take the first step and just drop the stone she is carrying that is slowing progress down?

Not taking care of our bodies is another stone. Overeating is a form of self-abuse. There is a pain that comes from being overfull. There is pain that comes from the guilt and shame of the addiction itself. Somehow the punishment (the obesity, the disability that comes with being so large) is seen as deserved. Sometimes the problem is that the person feels lesser-than, that he doesn’t deserve to feel good, to feel love. Sometimes becoming obese is a way to keep people away.

Sometimes people say they are too old to change. This too is a lie we tell ourselves so that we don’t get better. We think we can’t, so we don’t even try. As long as you are alive, there is hope. And if you start trying to get better, you’ll gain more life. You are only dead when you give up. As long as you keep trying to grow, you’ll get stronger.

One way to drop that stone is to realize that you are carrying it. You’ve carried it for so long that just dropping it outright seems impossible. Try doing it in little steps. Journal about it. Journaling helps you notice progress. It is like writing a letter to yourself.

I’m sending you a letter, now. I used to be where you are. I still have stones I’m carrying. The things I’ve done to grow and stretch have given me the insight and strength to get over and around other stones. I’m sending you this letter to let you know that you can do it. It is hard. It takes a lot of work. You’ll fall and fail quite a bit. You’ll stop doing the work for a while and then remember and start back up again. That is normal. You aren’t failing. You’re being human. I’m cheering you on.

In a way, I’m also sending a letter back in time to myself, to let myself know that there is hope. I’m 44 now. I was nowhere near this balanced and aware and healthy at 24. I wonder where I’ll be at 64? At 84? I need to remind myself to be gentle with myself but not allow myself to fall off the path completely. I’m trying to remind you of the same. Forgive yourself your failings, but keep on working on them.

I wonder if we can get a letter to Sisyphus and tell him to just walk away from that stone? Forget pushing it up the hill. It is easier to climb up the hill unburdened.

Krispy Kreme – The One True Doughnut

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Today is National Doughnut Day, and I’m here to preach to you the Gospel of Krispy Kreme. Sure, there are other doughnuts, but they just aren’t even in the same league. Krispy Kreme is a melt-in-your-mouth bit of yumminess that is unique among doughnuts. They are yeast doughnuts.

All other doughnuts are nice, but they are cake doughnuts. Cake doughnuts are dry. They crumble. They have to be eaten with milk or coffee. They make you feel full much too fast. Cake doughnuts are only acceptable the day they are made. They aren’t even really great that day, but they are passable.

Krispy Kreme doughnuts are soft and tasty for several days after purchase. But the best time to eat them is when they are hot. The stores have a huge neon sign letting you know that are making doughnuts right then. There is even an app for your iPhone that will let you know when they are making doughnuts at a location near you. How is that for customer service and satisfaction? Also, their website says that the ingredients are vegetarian and kosher – win!

The best part is that you can even watch the doughnuts being made. In other places they are only visible when they are ready to be sold. It is not only cool to watch them being made, but it proves that this company is trustworthy. No sneakiness here! No skulking around in the back, making doughnuts on the sly. At a Krispy Kreme store you can see the doughnuts ride in the proofer, rising up on perforated metal trays like a vertical Ferris Wheel. Then they come to their bath of hot oil, where they bob along like contented rubber duckies. Shortly they are turned to cook the other side with beautiful acrobatic flip. They then travel to a metal conveyor where they glide under a shower of white cream, coating them with a delectable thin layer of liquid sugar that cools to a crackly consistency. It is just magical to watch the entire process.

But the proof of the glory of Krispy Kreme is their motto. “Hot, Fresh, Now”. If that isn’t a mantra, I don’t know what one is. Even their shape is meditative. The original, plain doughnuts are round, like the infinity of time and space. They are empty in the middle, to remind you to empty your mind. They are like a beautiful visual Zen koan.

I accept that there are people who like other doughnuts. I’m sad for them that they don’t appreciate the glory that is Krispy Kreme. I’ll eat other doughnuts if I have no other choice, but I’ll be thinking about the tender, moist, sweet goodness of Krispy Kreme the whole time.

My friends, I tell you that Krispy Kreme is The One True Doughnut. All other doughnuts are OK, but as for me and my house, we will eat Krispy Kreme.

Thankfulness or Blessing – what comes first?

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What comes first, the thankfulness or the blessing? We give thanks for our food before we eat it. It is sitting right in front of us. But we normally give thanks for our blessings after we receive them, if we remember to give thanks at all. Often we are so caught up in the fact that we finally have what we want that we forget to be thankful.

But what if we are thankful before we get what we want? What if we pray our prayer of thankfulness even before we can see what we are going to get? What if we are thankful even before we know what we are going to get?

Jesus tells us to pray as if we already have received. In Mark 11:22-24 “22 Jesus replied to them, “Have faith in God. 23 I assure you: If anyone says to this mountain, ‘Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. 24 Therefore I tell you, all the things you pray and ask for—believe that you have received them, and you will have them.” (HCSB)

Then you may think, but I don’t have that much strength in my prayer. I can’t pray that well. I have doubt. It is hard to believe. In Matthew 17: 20 we learn from Jesus that not much faith is required. “For I assure you: If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will tell this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” (HCSB) Just pray for it, and know that God will do the rest. A tiny bit of faith is a lot in God’s hands.

Does God need us to pray before we get our blessing because it is already on the way? Might it be that we need to be prepared to receive our blessing?

I have noticed that when I pray before anything, I’m the one to change first. I start looking for God. I start looking to see where God is going to pop up and surprise me. I pray before helping patrons at work. I pray before leaving my house. I pray before meeting with friends. I am trying to be in a constant state of prayer. I’m not very good at it, but I’m trying.

I remember when I used to smoke pot. I’d smoke, and I’d wait to see what happened. Food would taste better. I could hear parts of an album that I’d never noticed before. In reality, all of that was already there. I just put myself in a position where I was looking for it. I expected to experience life in a different way. I think prayer is the same way. I think prayer opens us up to receiving God. We open the door and God steps in.

I think that God was going to send us that blessing anyway, but we just wouldn’t have noticed it. How often do we take things for granted? How often do we think that what we have is just OK and not that much?

I heard once that praying before meals proves that we are not animals. One goal in Judaism is to be a mensch, a real person. We need to become human, to win over our animal nature. The goal of true alchemy is to transform the lead of our animal nature into the gold of our human nature.

Praying makes us human. Praying makes us better.

So what should we pray for? A new car? Extra money to pay off our mortgage? The get-rich-quick pastors of the megachurches would tell you that. Their message is the “prosperity gospel”. The fact that it has to have an extra word to describe it should be a clue that it isn’t the Gospel of Jesus.

Pray for big stuff. Pray for things not for yourself. God is big. God wants to hear from you. That is part of why God made you.

Pray for nuclear disarmament. Pray for peace and understanding among the nations. Pray for an end to war and greed. Pray for people to wake up to their true nature. Pray for us all to take care of ourselves and our planet.

Don’t be hesitant. Pray hard. Pray without ceasing. Pray as if we already have it. And remember that God always answers prayers. Sometimes it isn’t what we want it to be – but it is always what is needed. Pray for the grace to be able to accept God’s answer. But most importantly, pray.

Renew, rebuild, revive

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Is it really possible to renew or renovate? Can you really ever make something old new again? Once it has worn out and you replace some pieces, it isn’t exactly like it was. It is a little different. The wood is a different kind. The handling is a little different. It may be “like new” but it can never truly be the same, down to the core.

When people try to reform a movement they are trying to renew it. They are trying to bring it back to what it was at the beginning. Their intentions are good, but they don’t realize it isn’t really possible. Things have changed. The times have changed. The reason for the movement that started it all off has gotten lost or forgotten.

We can’t really renew the church. We can try to reform it. We can try to rebuild it. We can try to take all the bits that work and piece them together like a jigsaw puzzle. We can take it all down and start again from scratch. Or we can muddle on like we are and try to reform it from the inside.

But one way or another, something has got to change. Too many people look at Christians like they are crazy, and with good reason. Too many Christians are filled with hate instead of love. Too many Christians think their obligation to God is filled if they sit in a pew on Sunday and then do nothing else the rest of the week.

What is the best way forward? Is it to go into the past and read the Gospels in the original Aramaic? Is it to pray for the guidance of the Holy Spirit?

I write this not to attack the church, but to awaken it. I want this to work. I believe in Jesus. I believe in the work that he started and I believe that it can be brought to fruition. I believe that love can save the world.

This church, this Body of Christ, is one big dysfunctional family. It is going to be hard for some people to hear these words. Folks hate the idea that their family is broken. But pointing out that it is broken is the beginning of healing.

This is like being in recovery. When a person starts on the path of recovery, she often loses friends. Her best friends were her drinking buddies. When they see her getting sober and still enjoying life, they tend to get hateful. They rarely decide to follow her on the path. They’d rather stick with what they know, even if it is destructive and misguided, than go with something new.

So this isn’t renewal. It is revival. It is new life that I’m proposing. But to have a revival and then continue to do the same old thing won’t work. We’ve added too much to this thing we call church. The extra stuff gets in the way and slows us down. It doesn’t go where it should. We need to strip it clean.

The Lord’s Supper should be an actual meal and it needs to be shared with people who aren’t members. It needs to be shared not with the goal of making them become members. It needs to be shared because people need to be fed. There need to be no restrictions on who gets to eat.

We need to take out all the ritual and the magic show. We need to remove the hierarchy to show that everybody is equal. Everybody needs to be trained to be ministers. All of us have talents that are needed.

I remember a time that I was playing a game of volleyball with the Episcopal student group when I was in college. The priest was there with his son. His son was young and wanted to play, but because he was small his dad thought that he would get hurt, possibly by being tripped over. His son was very upset by this. I saw that he was very good at serving the ball – and I know that I’m terrible at it. I modified the game and made him the server. I explained that his Dad didn’t want him to play only because he was concerned about him getting hurt. This way he got to help out the game and not be in the way. Everybody was happy.

This is part of what we need to do. We need to look at what is essential, and change things. We need to make this work. We need to include everybody.

I’d hate to think Jesus died in vain.

TMJ as a teacher.

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I have TMJ problems. My jaw doesn’t line up properly. Overuse, and the ligaments in my neck hurt. The more I talk, the more pain I’m in. It isn’t a large pain. It isn’t terrible. But it is just annoying enough to keep me mindful.

I’ve become very conscious of everything I say. It is as if I have a bank account and I’m being careful of what I spend. Each sentence needs to be worthwhile.

I remember when a teacher in junior high had an assignment that we had to come up with a list of just twenty words. These were (hypothetically) the only words we would be allowed to say for the rest of our lives. This is something like that.

If it hurts to talk a lot, then you have to pick your words carefully or suffer the consequences. What do you have to say? What can be dropped?

This is totally in line with the Buddhist idea of right speech. Every word you say needs to be true, kind, and helpful. Is it necessary? Is it useful? Or is it mindless chatter, meant to fill up the silence? Is it gossip?

There is a great saying that “It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than to talk and remove all doubt of it.” (Maurice Switzer)

There is a Ghandi quote as well that I’ve also heard attributed to the Quakers. “Speak only if it improves upon the silence.”

We are afraid of silence. We fill our houses and our heads with noise. We have iPods and cell phones attached to our ears constantly. Every store has music playing. The TV blaring on, all the time. When was the last time you were silent for longer than 20 minutes, and not asleep?

This disorder has become my teacher.

“In Full Communion”

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Why would anybody want to even think about joining the Christian church with so much animosity going on between the different denominations? We can’t agree on how we are supposed to love God and serve our neighbors. We can’t agree on how we are supposed to live our lives. We can’t even agree that everybody who is baptized can take communion. We don’t even call it “communion” in all churches. In some it is called “the Lord’s Supper”.

I’m going to use the word “communion” here because of the full meaning of the word. Not only does it refer to unity with God, but it also refers to the Body of Christ, which is the membership. The Body is made up of every person who believes in Jesus as the Son of God. In communion we are symbolically all eating at the same table as a family.

There is a concept that some churches are “in full communion” with other churches. In the Catholic Church, for example, only a few other denomination’s members can take communion at a Catholic church. Not Episcopal or Lutheran or Baptist or Methodist or Jehovah’s Witness, for example. In the Orthodox Church there are similar rules. This is really odd to me, since Jesus didn’t make up any rules as to who could take communion.

I can understand if they feel like they need to deny communion to people who aren’t baptized. I personally think everybody who feels called to the table should get communion, but I’ve already written about that. But going with the basic premise of baptism as being a public declaration of membership into the Body of Christ, then I don’t understand why a different part of the Body would say that another part isn’t included.

And there are other rules. Some say women should dress modestly and cover their hair. Some say that it doesn’t matter. Some say that it is OK to drink, while some say drinking will lead you to hell. Some discourage their members from questioning anything. Some allow questions but they are short on answers. Some are not allowed to vote, while some use their ability to vote to lobby for the social causes they feel are in line with their faith. Some are vegetarian as part of their observance. Some are heavy on the meat casseroles for potlucks.

Each different church has its own way of doing things and we end up focusing on the differences rather than the unity. And sadly, these divisions are what people who aren’t Christians see the most of. Christians are rude and divisive and judgmental and condescending with other Christians. They are exactly the same to non-Christians. Who would want to join such a dysfunctional family?

I remember when I was working at a craft store in Chattanooga and a coworker said that I should go to her church. I told her that I already went to church. She said she knew that, but she thought there was better preaching at her church. By “better” I got the idea that she meant “more accurate”. As if God can only be found in one place. As if God’s Word can only be found in a few locations at a time.

I went with another friend to her church one day and a lady in the pew invited me to become a member there. When I told her that I already had a church home I got the same kind of reply. It was that I needed to go to this particular church because the Word was spoken more clearly there.

God is so much bigger than that. When we reduce God to only being able to get his message across in only one denomination or only one building, we are doing ourselves a huge disservice. We are reducing God to our size, and forgetting how infinite God is. We are playing petty politics with God.

I’m embarrassed by Christians all the time, and I am Christian. These women were being rude and exclusive to me, and I’m in the club. Imagine how non-Christians would feel. Imagine how they feel when they see a person waving a sign saying that God hates anybody. Imagine how they feel when they hear a Baptist say that Catholics aren’t Christian. Imagine how they feel when they see how one church has rules on how to live life that another church laughs at. They have no idea what being “Christian” means, and I’m starting to think that we don’t either.

There are so many different denominations that the faith looks schizophrenic. Sure, we are all different members in the same body, but this body has a bad case of a seizure disorder. It does not work as one. We aren’t going anywhere. We are fighting against ourselves.

It is as if there is a three-legged race going on and the two people are trying to go different directions. But this race is divided up between a hundred different denominations. And even different parishes within denominations have the opinion that they have it right and the others don’t. If you say that your parish or your denomination has it right and the others don’t and just need to catch up with you, you are part of the problem.

What did Jesus say? Love. If it isn’t loving and kind, don’t do it. And I don’t mean “telling others they are wrong so they can get back on the right track” kind of loving. Remember the verse about the speck and the plank? That isn’t love. “Do unto others” is a good start. If you don’t want other people bossing you around, they probably don’t want it either, so don’t do it.

Let’s consider all those different rules the different denominations have about how to live your life. Concerning what to eat, whether to drink alcohol or not, how modestly to dress, or how to style your hair, just measure it against Jesus words. Does it show love? If you need to refrain from eating meat or you need to cover your hair to remind yourself to love your God and your neighbor, do it. But if these actions cause a division between the two of you, don’t. But then remember that none of this really matters. None of this has anything to do with what Jesus wants us do.

Forget about world peace. We need to get our own selves together first.

On interdependence – God needs us and we need God.

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We need God, but likewise, God needs us.

Carl Sagan tells us that “We are a way for the cosmos to know itself.” We are part of the cosmos – we are created from tiny bits of stars that exploded long ago and far away. We are undeniably part of this universe. We are created from its very essence and we also seek to understand it.

Likewise, we are part of God. We are a distillation, a permutation of God. Now, don’t get me wrong. In no way do I believe that we are God. There are plenty of people these days who say that simply because we have the light of God within us, we are God. I think it is essential to not confuse the creation with the Creator.

In Jeremiah 18:6, the Lord says “…You are like the clay in the potter’s hands, and I am the potter.” And in Isaiah 64:8 we hear “Yet Lord, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You are our potter; we all are the work of Your hands.” We are vessels created by God, designed so that we can share the light and love of God in this world.

But it is also essential to not think of ourselves as dirt either. We are, every one of us, every person on this planet, precious children of God. We are forgiven and blessed and freed. We are created and called by God.

God needs us to do His will. We were created as the arms and legs of God. We are essential to bringing forth good in this world. Just like with vessels, we are meant to hold the God essence within us and take it to others and share it. We are meant to share love and hope and healing with the world.

It is all too easy to say “How could God let that happen” with whatever fill-in-the-blank atrocity or disaster has occurred. But really, the answer is “What are we, agents of God, going to do about it?” We are God’s agents in this world. We are the people who raise others up, who feed them, who clothe them, who comfort them, who teach them. We are the ones who stand up against injustice. We do this because God is moving within us, whether we realize it or not. Jesus tells us in Matthew 12:50 “Anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother!” (NLT)

I think it is helpful that we choose to do good in this world and that we choose to align ourselves with God. But the best part is that God is using us even if we don’t know it, and even if we don’t want it. I find it makes things easier if you know that God is in charge, that God is driving the bus.

In Deuteronomy 11:13-15, we learn this. “13If you will only heed his every commandment that I am commanding you today-loving the LORD your God, and serving him with all your heart and with all your soul-14then he will give the rain for your land in its season, the early rain and the later rain, and you will gather in your grain, your wine, and your oil; 15and he will give grass in your fields for your livestock, and you will eat your fill.” (NRSV)

So love and serve God, and God will love and provide for you. It is reciprocal, and mutually interdependent. Just like we need each other for survival, so does God need us. We are essential.

Remember God is always with you.

“It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” (Deut. 31:8)

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

”Teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” (Matt. 28:20)

Filtered water (making ourselves better makes the world better)

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I’m having memories from when my Mom was dying from cancer. I’m not sure how much I can trust these memories. After all, they are nearly 20 years old.

But then I think about water. Spring water starts off as rainwater. It seeps down into the rocks and earth and hangs out for years, hiding out among dark caves and moldy leaves. It changes while it is percolating in the earth. It gets filtered. It gets cleaner. The impurities of pollution are stripped out of it and then it comes forth from the earth as spring water or a mountain stream. I think memories are the same way. They need time to percolate and filter.

When my Mom was sick and dying, I found it strangely easy to be with her in her pain. She would have a problem that required a nurse, and they would often take a while. Perhaps they didn’t feel her problem was an emergency. Perhaps she was last on the list because she was on Tenncare. It didn’t matter. She was having a problem and the nurses weren’t coming and she was getting anxious. Her anxiety was causing a further problem. Her tension from her anxiety was causing more pain for her.

I realized something at that time. I wasn’t the one who was in pain, and she was modeling after me in those moments of uncertainty. When I was anxious along with her, she would become more anxious. She needed someone to show her what to do. So I was calm. I intentionally kept my expression calm. I used a soothing tone. And she calmed down. Freaking out wasn’t going to make the nurse come faster. By my actions she felt better, even though I couldn’t fix the leaking chest tube or figure out how to make the morphine drip work properly.

There was something in that moment where I intentionally chose to remain calm for her that was healing. It was healing for her and for me. It taught me that our reactions to events are often more problematic than the events themselves.

I once had a summer job where I worked at the Kennedy Center in Washington, DC. I drove in every day from Centerville, Virginia. It was maybe 20 miles but because of DC traffic it was an hour and a half coming home.

One day I was sitting in my car on the way home, stuck in the usual traffic jam. I wasn’t tired or hungry, just bored. I made the mistake of looking at my watch. It told me that it was 6:30 pm. Suddenly I felt tired. Suddenly I felt hungry. I hadn’t felt that way just a moment before.

I realized something, and it is the same something that I’ve seen in Buddhism. Our minds trick us. It is better to be here, now, in the moment. The goal of Zen Buddhism is not to find enlightenment while peeling the potatoes. The goal is to peel the potatoes. I stopped wearing a watch from that day on. I have a clock. I pay attention to time so I’m not late. But the clock doesn’t tell me how to feel.

I catch myself all the time forgetting this secret. And then I remember and I pull myself back in. And somehow it seems to help others. I’m not caught up in the tornado of chaos with them. At least one person isn’t freaking out. And that sense of calm spreads, just like how it did with my Mom. You, just by being mindful, can be a healing force. Just by being fully present you can make the world better. It seems backwards – help yourself, and you help others, but it works.

Here are some of the ways I use to be mindful of the now and not get distracted. It helps to not watch TV. I’m only vaguely aware of popular culture. It isn’t real anyway, so I’m not missing anything. I read the news online so I can read what I want in the amount that I want, rather than having it force-fed to me via the evening news.

Regular exercise helps. Exercise isn’t a bad word, and it isn’t an extra. We have to move to prove that we aren’t plants. It burns out a lot of stress, and it makes us stronger and better able to handle life physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It doesn’t have to be bodybuilding at the gym – it can be walking every day and some yoga.

It is also essential to be careful about what we eat – as Michael Pollan said in his book Food Rules – “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” The book explains it better, and if you can get the edition that is illustrated by Maira Kalman, even better. (Her illustrations are beautiful and wise.) Greasy, fatty food weighs us down. And, being mindful of what we eat helps to bring us into the present. We are intentionally making ourselves better and healthier, bite by bite. Another thing I’ve learned recently is also from our Zen friends – chew your food thoroughly. We modern people tend to inhale our food. Chew your food at least 20 times and you’ll find out you are eating more slowly and better digesting your food. You’ll probably also find out that you feel full with less food. You’ll save money and lose weight.

You can make the world better through your choices. You can make the world better by making yourself healthier. It is win-win!

Now, I forget all these things all the time, and fall out of my routines. This is totally normal, so I suspect that you do the same. Just get back on when you remember and go on from there. We are all here to remind each other how to do this thing called “being human.” Sometimes I think I write these posts as reminders to myself on how to do it. I encourage you to be your best, and through that, know that you are bringing healing to the world.

Every day is the Sabbath.

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We are told to keep the Sabbath holy, but which day is that? Is it Sunday, as most Christians observe, or is it Saturday, as Jews and Seventh-Day Adventists observe, or is it Friday, as Muslims observe?

The early Christians decided to set aside Sunday to worship because that is the day that Jesus rose from the tomb, and they were getting a lot of flack from the Jews. They were convinced that Jesus was the Christ, so in their minds they were simply Jews who had found the Messiah. The Jews didn’t agree that Jesus was the fulfillment of the prophecies, so they chased them out of their synagogues. So the Sabbath got shifted a day. The Seventh-Day Adventists are Christian but follow the original Jewish Sabbath observance. Then we have Muslims, who pray every day but choose Friday as a special day of observance. It isn’t seen as a special day of rest so much as an obligatory day of prayer.

But then we have Psalm 118:24 “This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.” (Holman Christian Standard translation)

I tell you that every day is the Sabbath. Every day is a day to remember that God made you and everyone else and everything. Every day is a day to give thanks for all the many blessings of this life. Every moment of every day is a time to be filled with the knowledge and love of God. It is good to live your life full of thankfulness and awareness of God.

Why wait for only one day a week to praise God? Why wait for only one day a week to uplift your soul? Every moment can be a time of communion with God, even in the middle of a routine transaction at work. God is constantly seeking us, constantly desiring for us to be in communion with him. You don’t have to quit your job and join a monastery or a non-profit to focus your heart and mind on God. It can be done right now, right where you are.