Letter to myself.

One of my dreams is to make custom beaded jewelry for Nashville recording artists. I have no idea if this will ever happen. But I have to start somewhere. I make jewelry. I have it for sale online. I’ve been to craft shows and sold my work. People know I make jewelry. So eventually it will pick up steam and get going.

But I have to do something. I have to make the jewelry. I have to post pictures and descriptions on my Etsy page, Beaded Retort. I have to cast my bread upon the water. These things don’t just happen without some effort.

I want to write a book. But how do you write a book? Word by sentence by paragraph by chapter. Bit by bit. So every post I write is a step towards this. Who knows where this is going? I’m just happy that I’m writing again. And I like the fact that people don’t have to pay to read my musings.

I want to be a peace negotiator. I want to bridge understanding between cultures. So I read about different cultures. I take classes on dialogue versus debate. I’m aware of different conflict negotiation centers nearby. Something might come up that will be a great class at a great price.

I’m building connections with all these things. And I’m working towards these goals.

I’m reminded of the number of people that Jesus made work. They had to go do something to get healed. I feel like there is a reason behind my struggles.

I push myself. I feel like a baby bird, pecking away at the egg. Soon I will break free and flap my little wet wings.

It is hard for me sometimes. I’m quite the introvert. I’d rather stay home most of the time. I get overwhelmed with sensory input often. Because I’m bipolar I have to be careful not to get off balance with exercise and rest and over stimulation. But I know that if I stay home nothing will happen. I keep pushing, taking classes, meeting with people, going to shows.

I don’t really know where I’m going but I know I’m on my way. It is interesting, this journey. I feel like I am watching myself become myself.

It isn’t here.

It isn’t about the tree that Buddha sat under.
You won’t find enlightenment no matter how long you sit there.
Go find your own tree.
Or a rock.
Or an island
in the middle of a freeway.

The birthplace of Jesus shouldn’t be a pilgrimage site.
It isn’t the place. The place doesn’t matter.
That it happened is what matters.

Don’t charge admission to truth.
Don’t sell tickets to joy.

Where any enlightened person walked or lived or taught should be forgotten.
You can’t learn from ghosts in places.

Follow who they followed, back to the root.
Who is at the beginning?
Who is at the source?

You don’t have to go to the holy land.
Black Elk tells us that
the holy land is everywhere.

Right here, right where you are,
put a plaque. Memorialize it for future generations.

Have it say “I am here”

And then burn it down.

Zombie fiction list

I read zombie fiction because I like to be surprised. There is so much really good writing out there that happens to be in this genre.

“Monster Island”, “Monster Nation”, “Monster Planet” by David Wellington

A great trilogy. So great I bought the series and gave it to my brother-in-law for Christmas, because you know that nothing says “Happy birth of the Messiah” like zombie fiction. This is zombie fiction from the zombies’ and the survivor’s points of view. In this take on zombies, the zombies can retain their mental capacities if oxygen continues to get to the brain during the death period. Most zombies are the average insentient zombie – they are in the front lines of the zombie attack. A few – either accidentally or intentionally, are sentient, and they can control the others telepathically. The action in the book starts off in New York, and then travels over the entire world, in a quest to find the source of the zombie epidemic. In this series, animals can become zombies too. Zombie pigeons and cats are actually quite terrifying. The second book is a little slow (the writer was experiencing a lot of heavy stuff in his life at the time) but slog through it – it is worth it to get to the third book. This series is excellently written, with very good pacing of the action and some surprising and thought-provoking twists about the zombie myth.

“I, Zombie” by Al Ewing (Tomes of the Dead series)

From the Abaddon Books “Tomes of the Dead” series comes “I, Zombie”. Set in London, it starts out with our narrator the zombie, named “John Doe”. He has forgotten his real name, and also does not know how long he has been a zombie. He is a hired hitman. He goes and kills bad guys for money. He is a civilized zombie, and tries desperately to not let his zombie nature take over. He is hunted by an elite force that has set up shop in the Tower of London. This group, this secret British military unit, has been tasked with the responsibility of eliminating all zombies in England. They breed werewolves to track him. He is the last of his kind, and they want to study him to learn how he works. They take him apart, and all of his organs try to re-form into more zombies. He also has the ability to slow time. There is a lot more to this, and it isn’t the average zombie story (there are aliens, Earth colonization). It was excellently written and came together very nicely in the end. Creepy good.

“Tide of Souls” by Simon Bestwick (Tomes of the Dead series)

The world has flooded. Zombies are called “Nightmares”. Killing a person by shooting him in the head does not ensure that he will not come back as a zombie. The zombie’s eyes glow green. It is divided up into sections, with each section having a differerent narrator.

“The Way of the Barefoot Zombie” by Jasper Bark (Tomes of the Dead series)

The zombies are the draw for a special educational vacation retreat. Rich people from all around the world come to a secluded Caribbean island to learn about life and business by studying and imitating zombies that are in a captive colony. The party goes awry when operatives from the Zombie Liberation Front step in.

“The Devil’s Plague” by Mark Beynon (Tomes of the Dead series)

Set in England during the time of Oliver Cromwell – who has enlisted an army of the undead to win his war against the Royalists. The zombies are “The Kryfangan” – who are said to be an army created by the Devil himself, and had been used by Ghengis Khan.

“The Words of Their Roaring” by Matthew Smith (Tomes of the Dead series)

Set in London, where zombies have free reign. The civilization is non existant. However, a former mob boss thinks this is great – he now has a chance to get control of the city the way he likes. He figures out how to use the zombies to be his troops. One zombie is sentient, and helps out the resistance. The reason for the zombie outbreak is a virus that was being developed to create an army of zombies. The plan was to send expendible zombies to war instead of live soldiers.

“Death Hulk” by Matthew Sprange (Tomes of the Dead series)

A historical naval zombie fiction. You can’t escape zombies when you are out to sea or on a deserted island. I agree with the reviews that the historical accuracy and the nautical descriptions appear spot on – but it takes way too long to get to the zombie part of the story. Once you get there, it is pretty scary.

“Breathers, A Zombie’s Lament” by S.G. Browne

Advertised as a “Zombie Romantic Comedy” – or a zom-rom-com. An enjoyable light read, and most likely the only romantic comedy I’ll every bother with. The main character, Andy Warner, was in an automobile accident yet walked away from his funeral. Not all the dead reanimate in this book – and it is unknown what the cause is for the reanimation. But when they do reanimate, they find they have no civil rights. Their identities die with them – no name, no driver’s license, no bank account. If a zombie is lucky, he has relatives who are willing to claim him and give him a place to stay. If he isn’t, he is sold for dog food or medical research. Andy lives in his parent’s wine cellar. He attends a support group called “Undead Anonymous” where he meets Rita, a sexy suicide with a taste for lipstick. The formaldehyde in everyday products like lipstick and nail polish help the recent zombies to look more natural. A very funny tale about who is human and who has rights as a human.

“Death Troopers” by Joe Schreiber

Star Wars plus zombies. Really, who could want more? Well, I want a better ending, but other than that it is a great read.

“Viking Dead” by Toby Venables (Tomes of the Dead series)

Really fabulous. Zombies and Vikings. Another winner from the Tomes of the Dead series.

“Empire of Salt” by Weston Ochse (Tomes of the Dead series)

A little slow paced at times. This was advertised as being really good horror, but it isn’t that scary. Good suspense, but the characters are a little off.

“Festival of Death” by Jonathan Morris

A Doctor Who zombie book – no, the Doctor isn’t a zombie, even though he never seems able to die. This has interesting characters and a good plot, but it gets a little confusing because of all the time-travel. It is a little hard to keep up with.

“Alice in Zombieland” by Gena Showalter

Young-Adult level, butt-kicking romance with zombies. Think “Twilight” but not annoying. This is really good.

“Brown Girl in the Ring” by Nalo Hopkinson

The zombie myth goes back to the source. Voodoo magic fiction. Very good.

“Double Dead” by Chuck Wendig (Tomes of the Dead series)

What happens if you are a vampire and you wake up and the world has been taken over by zombies? You suddenly have to protect the humans, because otherwise you’ll starve to death. This is a refreshing take on the zombie myth.