strangers | betsybeadhead

What is the point of touching pregnant women that you don’t know? Why is this seen as acceptable? Then, why is it OK to touch and pick up their infant children?

Recently a law was passed in a state in America that says it is illegal to touch a pregnant woman’s belly without asking. I find it is sad that there is even a need for such a law. It just doesn’t make sense for a person to touch any stranger. Why are pregnant women excluded? Why are they seen as community property?

I’ve never been pregnant. I’ve had a lot of friends who have been pregnant and everyone says that their bellies were touched by strangers while they were pregnant.

You just don’t touch strangers. It just isn’t done. Being pregnant shouldn’t be a reason to worry that strangers will break that unspoken rule.

Going up to a child and touching her is bizarre too. I’ve seen plenty of strangers get right up in the faces of small children. I’ve seen plenty think it is OK to pick them up. There have been enough situations with children being kidnapped; you’d think people would realize this isn’t a great idea. Then there is the idea of germs. Babies get sick a lot. There is no reason for a mother to have to tend a sick baby that got that way because somebody with a cold had to cuddle with her child.

It is safest to only touch a person if you have asked. Then again, why do you feel it necessary to touch a stranger at all? Now, sometimes there are situations where you have to be touched by a stranger – say, at the doctor’s office.

My favorite doctors are the ones who ask if they can touch you. In part, you have given them permission to touch you by the very fact that you are there asking to be helped. It is like going to the mechanic and expecting him to fix the car from a distance. They have to get involved. But it is still kind for them to ask. It also puts you at ease, and that will make the interaction better. It will make things more difficult if you are tense.

So, unless you are a pregnant woman’s doctor or close friend – don’t touch her belly. If you are one of those two things, ask beforehand. If you aren’t one of those two things, don’t even ask if you can touch her belly. There is no reason to touch her. That is really weird.

I read a story lately about a lady who was in dire straits. She posted on a local Facebook page saying that she needed help and didn’t know what to do.

She said that she really needed help. She was a single mom and had two little girls, one 7 and one nearly 2. She said that she was about to be evicted because she hadn’t paid her rent, she didn’t have any food, and she didn’t have winter clothes for the girls. She said she was starting a job on Monday but wouldn’t be paid until two weeks later.

Plenty of things don’t sound right about this.

Apartments don’t kick you out for nonpayment of rent for the first month. They usually wait at least two months. So this has been going on for a while.

If she has custody of the children, she should be getting child support. She didn’t mention anything about this. Perhaps she is a widow. Again, no mention.

No food? No winter clothes? Did she just wake up from a coma and notice that something might need to be done? How has she survived this long with this basic inability to plan ahead?

And why is she asking for help from strangers? Why isn’t she asking family or friends? I have a suspicion she already has asked them before and they are tired of rescuing her.

I know that as Christians we are not supposed to question those who ask for help. We are not supposed to judge their worthiness. But there has to be some accountability going on. Otherwise we should all quit our jobs and start begging. Wait – that won’t work. Then who would give us money if they too didn’t have a job?

I remember seeing a guy on the side of the road with a sign saying that he needed a new roof. When I needed a new roof I got a second mortgage. I had asked my family if I could get a loan from them, having never asked before, and I got quickly turned down. So I had to figure out another way. Standing on the side of the road with a cardboard sign never occurred to me as something that was OK. It still doesn’t seem OK.

At what point is helping someone not helping at all? At what point is helping someone just encouraging them to keep needing help?

I’m reminded of the phrase –“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and he can feed himself for the rest of his life.”

At what point do we have to show “tough love” and make people have to be responsible for their own lives?