progress | betsybeadhead

The way to achieve your New Year’s resolution is to achieve equilibrium.

If you give something up, you have to take something on. If you simply stop doing a bad habit, all you’ll do is think about it if you don’t replace it with a good habit.

One year I gave up smoking pot for Lent, only to drink alcohol every day instead. Then, when I gave up smoking pot completely, I started smoking clove cigarettes instead. The solution was to learn what I was trying to avoid and learn how to face it, and to start nourishing my creative side through art and writing.

Likewise, if you start doing something, you have to stop doing something else to make room for it. You only have so much money, time, and energy. Be sure that what you give up is something you need to give up. You can’t cut out sleep or food or work. These are immovable things, and necessary.

When I decided to commit to writing at least one blog post a day, I had to spend less time online checking Facebook. And I learned that deciding to eat lunch at work rather than going out every day meant I ate better, saved money, and had more time to walk, read, or work on writing projects.

Another thing to remember about resolutions is to pace yourself. Remember the phrase “Rome wasn’t built in a day”? Neither are good habits and life changes. Do a little bit every day towards your goal and you’ll get there. Have patience with yourself and the process, but keep moving in the right direction. Look at everything you are doing – does it support your goal? Then do it. If it doesn’t, then don’t.

Today in kindergarten we were working on spelling our name. Well, when I say we I mean the children I’m assigned were working on their names and I was helping. And when I say helping I mean keeping them on task, opening the marker, cheering them on, and realizing when they have had enough and then sending them back to class. There is only so much one-on-one work you can take when you are five.

Kindergarten is hard work. There are a lot of distractions. Today the biggest distraction was that I have a bandage on my thumb. I had cut my thumb while cooking a few days ago and I wanted to keep it clean and dry. Plus, it was a bit ugly, so I didn’t want to distract them. This didn’t work. The girls were fascinated, and asked about it. One even wanted me to show her the cut. They boys didn’t even notice it. While the lesson was supposed to be about how to write your name it veered off into a lesson about cooking safety.

I was bored with the lesson anyway. We did this last week. Can’t they write their names already? But I’m not there for me. And if you can’t write your own name then you are not going to do well with much else.

Not all children grow at the same level. Sometimes it is really hard to wait through the dry patches, the quiet time. Sometimes there is a lot of waiting. Sometimes progress stops and everything seems to go backwards.

And that is ok. That is part of it all. Sometimes I’m not very patient with the slow times. I want to know I’m on the right path. I want to know I am having some positive impact. I want to know there is a happy ending, that everybody comes out OK in the end. This isn’t just about kindergarten.

Not every kid gets it. Not every kid gets it in the time period allotted. Sometimes they have to repeat a grade. It isn’t a sign of failure, in spite of what some parents think. It would be a huge disservice to the child to push her when she just isn’t ready yet.

I’m here for the stragglers. I’m here for the ones who need a little extra attention. If they can be helped now, they are more likely to do well in the future.

Don’t we all need this? A little time, a little attention, a little love? Because this is love, and this is real. I pray for these children. I pray in words and action. I encourage them and celebrate their successes. Being able to write your name is a big thing. I’m proud when they can, and I’m proud to see them try so hard.

I’m grateful for the chance to help them grow. I’m grateful that the Mayor lets Metro employees volunteer in the schools on work time. I’m grateful that my workplace can spare me. I’m grateful I found a teacher to work with who is enthusiastic and kind.

And I’m grateful for every little success I see. I don’t get to see a child “get” reading every day, but just being able to write her name without tracing it is a beautiful thing. Baby steps.