Home » Posts tagged 'love' (Page 4)

Tag Archives: love

Praying in the storm.

Posted on by | Leave a comment

I’m trying to be calm. I’m trying to be accepting. I’m trying to not fight what is happening.

I know that all things work for good, for those that believe in God. This doesn’t mean that it is awesome all the time. Sometimes it is pretty awful. Jesus didn’t have it that great – beaten, flogged, crucified, abandoned by his friends- not a day in the park, there. But it had to happen. It had to happen that way.

I know that the more we fight what is, the harder things get. I know that the more we have to define things as “good” or “bad”, the harder it gets. I’ve learned that anger and grief are both just symptoms of not accepting the situation as it is.

It is easy to think such calm thoughts when you aren’t in the middle of the storm.

I’ve had a pretty stormy time the past week. I just had to spend $1700 on my car on unscheduled repairs. Yes, I’m grateful to have a car that works. I’m grateful that I have that amount in savings. I’m grateful that they were able to take 20% off, saving me $350. I’m grateful that they were able to provide me with a loaner car while it was being fixed. But I was trying to save up some money. I don’t like running things close to the edge financially. My parents did that. They were great teachers for what not to do.

Then I got stung by a yellow jacket. They’ve built a nest near my front steps, and spraying them has seemingly created even more of them. There is no easy way around them, so they have to be dealt with. I’ve called the professionals. This will cost $200.

Then my back went out. I exercise daily, so I thought I was basically guarding against such problems. Maybe I was just delaying the inevitable. Turns out I have a slipped disc. Turns out this is even more money for the doctor and for the x-ray. The money I saved on the discount for the car is going to be quickly used up.

I’m trying to be like Jonah. I’m trying to praise God in the belly of the whale. It is really hard. But I want to, and that has to count for something.

I think when Jesus was here, he came to understand how hard it is to be human. He came to understand that we are distracted a lot by pain and loss. It is hard to be grateful when you are miserable. But I think that is the secret. I think that we have to look around and see what we do have, instead of what we don’t have.

It is really hard.

Sometimes it is easier to be thankful for what isn’t – I’m not incapacitated. I’m not out even more money.

But this isn’t really a healthy path.

So I try again. I’ve got a husband who loves me and looks out for me. I’ve got a house that is cozy and comforting. I’ve found a new doctor who is kind and was able to help. I’ve got a doctor’s note so I can take the weekend off to heal some more.

And pain, strangely enough, is a reminder to pray, and that is always good.

Mother Mary

Posted on by | Leave a comment

There was a massive stature of Mary sitting in a throne holding baby Jesus at the convent I was at this weekend on retreat. When I say massive, I mean life-size. Their eyes were human-looking. Perhaps they were prosthetic. They looked real. Both Mary and Jesus looked a little sad though. They were right in the front, facing the door as you enter. You had to pass by them to get to the chapel or the dining room. There was a triangle tile area in front of them too, which set off that area even more. The rest of the area was carpet.

I spent a lot of years in a medieval reenactment group, so seeing this human-looking statue that looks like royalty kind of messed with my head. She’s in a throne. She’s wearing a crown. She looks real. Do I bow? Do I at least pause? How close can I walk to her? She was kind of in the way. There was no easy way to get around her. To just walk by like she wasn’t there felt a little rude. So I at least paused.

Here’s what you see when you come in, showing the statue and the tile area.
Mary 3

Here’s a little closer.
Mary 2

Here’s her sad face.
Mary 1

I was fascinated by her, and a little creeped out. Mid-way through the retreat I had run out of things to write and I was getting a little bored. I’d thought earlier about drawing her. But drawing her meant getting in the way. The best way for me to draw her was to sit in front of her, at the tip of the tile triangle. And that meant that I’d be sitting in the middle of everything.

I’d be obvious. I’d be in the way. People would have to go around me. They would know what I was doing.

Would this annoy the nuns? Would they be upset with me? They might get annoyed that I was in the way. They might get annoyed that I was drawing their statue of Mary and Jesus.

I thought about it some more. It was the middle of the day. Most of them spent their time in their rooms. It wasn’t supper time or chapel time, so there was a good chance that I’d have the hall to myself. And if they didn’t like me doing it they could tell me to move.

I’m working on this part of my internal dialogue. I’m trying to be mindful of other’s feelings, but also mindful of my needs. I’m trying to not let imagined censorship make me stop doing something. All too often I make up what people say before I even start something, and I assume they are going to say no so I never start. I’m pushing past that and finding out that they rarely say no.

Turns out, while I was drawing, the nuns smiled at me. A fellow retreat member admired my work. Sure, I was in the middle of the hall, but I wasn’t completely in the way, and I wasn’t there long. So I kept drawing.

Here’s the picture of what I drew. My paper isn’t big – maybe 4 inches by 6. I didn’t have space for faces.
Mary 4

I used watercolor pencils, but I’ve not added the water yet. This looks like regular colored pencil this way.

After I drew it, I sat there for a bit, and I talked quietly to Mary. “Should I draw your face? You look so sad.” And she answered. She told me to draw her the way a child would draw her Mom, if her Mom wasn’t around. She told me to not look at the stature of her, but see the image of her face in my heart. Imagine if you are in school and the teacher tells you to draw your Mom. You have to draw her from memory. But in this case, I’m drawing not my Mom, but Jesus’ Mom, but by extension, sort of my adopted Mom. It is hard to explain. Sometimes I realize that I didn’t get comforted by my Mom in the way I needed, and I’m realizing that Mary is there to comfort me. It is very soothing.

So I drew. I drew her the way I see her looking at me. She doesn’t look like any images of Mary I’ve ever seen before, but she does look beautiful and kind. And that is what I needed to see.
Mary 5

She said “My child, I am giving birth to you too.” She is nurturing me like my mother couldn’t. I sat there, in tears, drawing her, washed by her love and compassion. Her arms are wide enough for me too.

Musings from kindergarten – time and attention

Posted on by | Leave a comment

I have to be very flexible when I’m tutoring. Each child is different. Each child learns at a different pace. Each one finds different things interesting. I have to adapt myself to them.

The way I want to teach isn’t always the way they want to learn. So instead of expecting them to conform to where I’m coming from, I get down to where they are. I’m here for them, not myself. I already know my letters. They are the ones who have to do the work. I’m there to cheer them on when they get it right.

Of course, sometimes they aren’t really interested in learning at all and they really want to play. Sometimes it is hard to tell. Learning looks a lot like playing sometimes. But when it looks a lot more like playing than learning it is time to redirect. Sometimes I’ll say, “Do you want to work on this, or do you want to go back to class?” I’m happy either way. If they aren’t ready to work, there are three more after them who are.

It is interesting the number of kids who say “pick me!” They want to work. Getting to work with a tutor isn’t seen as a negative thing. This is excellent. There is no stigma. The kids who I work with aren’t seen as being a little slower, or having a harder time getting concepts. It is a treat, a favor, to work with me. This makes my job easier, but also harder. I’d love to work with them all but I only have an hour a week. There isn’t much quality time available so I have to have a list of who needs me.

I don’t pick the children I tutor. I get a list from the teacher, in order of need. I start at the top and go as far as I can. Sometimes the list has five children on it, and I only get to the first two. That is OK. Those two needed more attention that day and were willing to work. If I can get them in that frame of mind, I’m running with it.

One day I worked with the same child for three quarters of the hour. That was a big deal. Oscar was from Mexico, and it took half the year for him to even answer me back in English. Actually, I don’t even think he was answering me in Spanish most of the time. I think Oscar was speaking Oscar. He was very enthusiastic about it, but he didn’t make any sense. I have a feeling that his parents thought that he was speaking English but they didn’t know English so they didn’t know any better.

That day I was reading a book to him, and I was using every trick I had. How many ornaments are there on the tree? Where is the yellow box? It may sound silly, but there is a lot more to reading a book than just the words. I wanted to fully engage him.

Mostly, I wanted him to hear English. If you are going to live here, you have to know English to get by. Being able to read and write is certainly nice, but if you can’t understand and speak it, you are in a world of hurt.

By the end of the year, Oscar still wasn’t doing very well with writing and reading. He would cover up the words on the page and look at the pictures. I’m not sure that he understood that I wasn’t just making up the story. I’m not sure that he didn’t get that those words weren’t just squiggles. He at least was responding to my questions in English. Mission accomplished. It wasn’t much, but it is a start.

Sometimes the teacher will assign a child to me who is doing very well. We’ll go through the lesson that we’ve been assigned, and she will do fabulously. I’ll ask the teacher why I was assigned this student. Often it is simply that the child needed a little attention and time. Sometimes it is because Mom is not at home – she is still back in their home country. Or Dad has been deported. Sometimes it has nothing to do with learning letters and numbers, but everything to do with personal attention.

It is amazing how simple it is to offer a little bit of time, and how much good it does.

Forgetting, forgiveness

Posted on by | Leave a comment

I know a lady who refuses to go to a certain church because they are OK with gay people. And by OK I mean the denomination not only welcomes gay people but also has gay ministers.

She says that homosexuality isn’t Christian.

I asked her what Jesus said about homosexuality. She got a little defensive and paused. She then admitted that she wasn’t completely familiar with all of what Jesus said. When I told her that Jesus said nothing about being gay, but said a lot about loving other people and a lot about not judging, she got even more defensive.

I wasn’t winning over a convert here. She thinks I’m wrong, and I think she is wrong. She thinks I’m twisting the rules to say that something that she has been taught is wrong isn’t actually wrong. I think she is using religion as an excuse to be a bigot.

The ironic part is that she is living with the father of her child, but they aren’t married. Their daughter is three. So by the same bag of rules that she was handed by society, she too is a sinner.

But she isn’t. And neither are gay people. Or, we all are, and that debt is paid.

No matter how you do the math, it is OK.

On one side, Jesus gave us two rules – love God, and love our neighbor as ourselves. If whatever you are doing honors those things, then you are good. If it violates these things, then stop doing them.
But then here’s the other side. Jesus paid for all of our sins. All of them. For all time. Jesus totally got that it is really hard to be perfect. He got that it is very hard to be human. We make mistakes. We try. We fail again.

When Jesus said “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” he might as well have said to us “That’s OK – just try again to do it right the next time, but I know you won’t get it right, and that’s OK too.”

This doesn’t mean that we are off the hook. This doesn’t mean that we can do whatever we want and forget the consequences. We need to be mindful. But we need to also be patient with ourselves because we aren’t ever going to get it perfect.

Alexander Pope said “To err is human, to forgive divine.” This bears remembering.

Perhaps what people are afraid of about gay people being welcomed in church is that they think there won’t be room enough. They don’t want to share space with them. They think there won’t be room for them to be in church with all gay people there. Maybe they think that church is only for perfect people – ones who have it all figured out and are living a blameless life.

Maybe they forget that nobody’s perfect, and we are all forgiven.

Maybe they forget that we are all called to love, in the same way that Jesus loved us.

This, too, is forgiven, this forgetting.

Build a Temple

Posted on by | 2 Comments

Be Jesus, here.
Build a temple to God
not of stone
but of flesh.

You have within you
the light of God, your soul.
Celebrate this,
within yourself and within others.
For we all
every one
were born with this light.

To build a building
that can be torn down
that can be broken into
that has to be traveled to
that needs to be paid for
and repaired from the ravages
of moths and thieves
is to miss the point.

Let your actions be your incense,
pleasing unto God.

Let your anthems be your voice
telling others that they are loved.

If we are truly to follow Jesus,
to use him as our teacher, our guide,
then we have to remember

that he

built no buildings,
crafted no creeds,
and required no rituals.

The surest way to the heart of God
is service to God.
And the surest way to serve God
is to do it all the time.

You don’t have to work at a nonprofit
or become a nun or a monk.
Just serve.

Just be the hands and the feet of Jesus.

Do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with God

not just one hour of one day of the week
but always.

Love is meant to be given away.

Be Jesus to everyone you meet.

Be the healing.

Be the change.

Be the difference.

The love of Jesus isn’t something we receive and
store up
and keep

so much as something we share.

Love shared multiplies it
just like that bread and fish
love can feed thousands.

People are hungry for love.

Love all without question.
Love all without expectation.

You are blessed.
And you are broken.
And out of that blessing and that brokenness
comes beauty and bounty.

Be Jesus.

Blessed.
Broken.
Healed.
Whole.

This is the day…

Posted on by | Leave a comment

One of the advantages of being human is that we have memory. We can do the same thing over and over again, making tiny adjustments, until we get it perfect. We can use this time and our awareness to make something really awesome occur.

One of the disadvantages of being human is that we forget. We do the same things over and over again, and we think we are doing them the same way and we aren’t paying attention at all. Our routine becomes mindless repetition.

I was in the middle of my yoga practice this morning. Currently it includes a warrior series – warrior one, two, and peaceful warrior. They are pretty predictable, but there are a lot of little adjustments I can make to improve them. In the middle of the practice I remembered that I needed to set an intention for my practice today. An intention is kind of like a prayer, but it has a little more focus.

An intention can be to heal yourself, or for the healing of someone you love, or for the healing of the world. You set your mind on a path, like aiming a plow at a field. Aim it well and dig deep, and you’ll reap an amazing harvest.

I said “God, I dedicate this day to you.” And then I got a strong feeling back – every day is God’s day. “This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24)

All we do when we bless something is to remember. We are giving credit where credit is due. We are reminding ourselves that it came from God. We are giving back what has been given to us. We are being mindful that this amazing thing didn’t just happen out of nowhere. It wasn’t an accident. It is a gift, made for us to appreciate.

It is the same idea in giving the firstborn unblemished male offspring of the herd up for sacrifice. It isn’t the second born – you don’t have a backup. You don’t know if you are going to get another one. It is admitting that if it weren’t for God, you wouldn’t even have that one.

God’s math is different from our math.

Be thankful in all things, and in all times, for everything. The more we notice things to be thankful for, the more things we notice.

This isn’t the “prosperity gospel”. This isn’t about attracting wealth. This is about creating new eyes and a new heart. It is about creating a sense of wonder and amazement and thankfulness. When you start to look for things to be thankful for, you change. You soften, and open up. It becomes like an Easter egg hunt. You find one or two at the beginning, and then it leads you to the secret cache where you realize that everything is a gift, and everything is something to be thankful for.

That is the meaning of Easter as well – new life, new growth, new birth. There is always a chance to begin again. Why not now?

Sure, I know it isn’t Easter. It isn’t the New Year either. But the same idea holds. Every day is a good day to begin again, slate wiped clean. God offers this to us every day, and we accept this gift by being thankful.

Religious books

Posted on by | Leave a comment

When I say “religious” I don’t mean just Christian. I mean “follower of God”, the Creator, the Divine Spirit – whatever you name the Force that animates us and created us and loves us.

These are books I’ve read that I find useful or helpful. They are in no particular order. They speak to what it means to have an active faith. They are about living a life that is directed by love and service. There is a lot of questioning in there too. If you local library does not have these books you can ask them to order them via Inter Library Loan.

CALL # 277.3 M6437t.
AUTHOR Miles, Sara, 1952-
TITLE Take this bread : a radical conversion / Sara Miles.
EDITION 1st ed.
IMPRINT New York : Ballantine Books, c2007.
DESCRIPT xviii, 283 p. ; 22 cm.
SUBJECT Christian converts — United States — Biography.
SUBJECT Church work with the poor — United States.
SUBJECT Food relief — United States.
ISBN/ISSN 0345486927.
ISBN/ISSN 9780345486929.

CALL # 248.32 B87717p.
AUTHOR Brown, Patricia D., 1953-
TITLE Paths to prayer : finding your own way to the presence of God / Patricia D. Brown.
EDITION 1st ed.
IMPRINT San Francisco, Calif. : Jossey-Bass, c2003.
DESCRIPT vii, 343 p. : ill. ; 19 cm.
SUBJECT Prayer.
ISBN/ISSN 0787965650 (alk. paper)

CALL # 248.4 C4542c.
AUTHOR Chan, Francis, 1967-
TITLE Crazy love : overwhelmed by a relentless God / Francis Chan ; with Danae Yankoski.
IMPRINT Colorado Springs, Colo. : David C. Cook, 2008.
DESCRIPT 205 p. ; 21 cm.
SUBJECT Christian life.
ALT AUTHOR Yankoski, Danae.
ISBN/ISSN 9781434768513 (trade pbk.)
ISBN/ISSN 1434768511 (trade pbk.)

CALL # 242 S8442s.
AUTHOR Stevens, Becca, 1963-
TITLE Sanctuary : unexpected places where God found me / Becca Stevens.
IMPRINT Nashville, TN : Dimensions for Living, 2005.
DESCRIPT 125 p. ; 18 cm.
SUBJECT Stevens, Becca, 1963-
SUBJECT Meditations.
ISBN/ISSN 0687494206 (pbk. : alk. paper)

CALL # Fiction Kazantz.
AUTHOR Kazantzakis, Nikos, 1883-1957.
TITLE Saint Francis : a novel / by Niko Kazantzakis ; translated from the Greek by P. A. Bien.
IMPRINT New York : Simon and Schuster, 1962.
DESCRIPT 379 p. ; 22 cm.
SUBJECT Francesco d’Assisi, Saint, 1182-1226 — Fiction.
ADD TITLE PhtŻochoulŻes tou Theou. English.

CALL # 231.3 C4542f.
AUTHOR Chan, Francis, 1967-
TITLE Forgotten God : reversing our tragic neglect of the Holy Spirit / Francis Chan with Danae Yankoski.
EDITION 1st ed.
IMPRINT Colorado Springs, CO : David C. Cook, 2009.
DESCRIPT 186 p. ; 21 cm.
NOTE Includes bibliographical references (p. 167)
NOTE It doesn’t make sense that Almighty God would have children
characterized by fear and insecurity. Could it be that we’ve
forgotten the One who distinguishes us from every other
religion and cult in the world? Chan returns us to the Holy
Spirit as the Bible describes Him.
SUBJECT Holy Spirit.
SUBJECT Spiritual life — Christianity.
ALT AUTHOR Yankoski, Danae.
ISBN/ISSN 9781434767950 (trade pbk.)
ISBN/ISSN 1434767957 (trade pbk.)

CALL # 813.54 L235g.
AUTHOR Lamott, Anne.
TITLE Grace (eventually) : thoughts on faith / Anne Lamott.
IMPRINT New York : Riverhead Books, 2007.
DESCRIPT 253 p. ; 21 cm.
SUBJECT Lamott, Anne — Religion.
SUBJECT Novelists, American — 20th century — Biography.
SUBJECT Christian biography — United States.
SUBJECT Faith.
ISBN/ISSN 9781594489426.
ISBN/ISSN 1594489424.

CALL # j248.32 M118p.
AUTHOR MacBeth, Sybil.
TITLE Praying in color / Sybil MacBeth.
EDITION Kids’ ed.
IMPRINT Brewster, Mass. : Paraclete Press, c2009.
DESCRIPT 38 p. : col. ill. ; 26 cm.
SUBJECT Prayer — Christianity — Juvenile literature.
SUBJECT Color drawing — Religious aspects — Christianity — Juvenile
literature.
ISBN/ISSN 9781557255952 (pbk.) :
ISBN/ISSN 1557255954 (pbk.)

CALL # 291.43 S9744p.
AUTHOR Sweeney, Jon M., 1967-
TITLE Praying with our hands : 21 practices of embodied prayer from the world’s spiritual traditions / Jon M. Sweeney ; photographs by Jennifer J. Wilson ; foreword by Tessa Bielecki ; afterword byTaitetsu Unno.
IMPRINT Woodstock, Vt. : SkyLight Paths Pub., c2000.
DESCRIPT 83 p. : ill. ; 21 cm.
NOTE Includes bibliographical references (p. 83)
SUBJECT Prayer.
SUBJECT Body, Human — Religious aspects.
SUBJECT Hand — Religious aspects.
ISBN/ISSN 1893361160 (pbk.)

CALL # 283.092 M6437j.
AUTHOR Miles, Sara, 1952-
TITLE Jesus freak : feeding, healing, raising the dead / Sara Miles.
EDITION 1st ed.
IMPRINT San Francisco, CA : Jossey-Bass, c2010.
DESCRIPT xx, 171 p. ; 22 cm.
SUBJECT Miles, Sara, 1952-
SUBJECT Saint Gregory of Nyssa Episcopal Church (San Francisco,
Calif.) — Biography.
SUBJECT Christian converts — United States — Biography.
SUBJECT Church work with the poor — California — San Francisco.
SUBJECT Food banks — California — San Francisco.
SUBJECT Christian life — Anglican authors.
ISBN/ISSN 9780470481660.
ISBN/ISSN 0470481668.

CALL # 801.9 L5662w.
AUTHOR L’Engle, Madeleine.
TITLE Walking on water : reflections on faith & art / Madeleine L’Engle.
IMPRINT Wheaton, Ill. : H. Shaw, c1980.
DESCRIPT 198 p. ; 22 cm.
SUBJECT L’Engle, Madeleine.
SUBJECT Christianity and the arts.
ISBN/ISSN 0865474877.
ISBN/ISSN 087788918X.
ISBN/ISSN 0877888965.

CALL # 299 H69t 1982.
AUTHOR Hoff, Benjamin, 1946-
TITLE The Tao of Pooh / Benjamin Hoff ; illustrated by Ernest H. Shepard.
EDITION 1st ed.
IMPRINT New York : E.P. Dutton, c1982.
DESCRIPT x, 158 p. : ill. ; 19 cm.
SUBJECT Milne, A. A. (Alan Alexander), 1882-1956 — Characters — Winnie
the Pooh.
SUBJECT Milne, A. A. (Alan Alexander), 1882-1956 — Religion.
SUBJECT Children’s stories, English — History and criticism.
SUBJECT Winnie-the-Pooh (Fictitious character)
SUBJECT Teddy bears in literature.
SUBJECT Taoism in literature.
SUBJECT Taoism.
ISBN/ISSN 0525244581.
ISBN/ISSN $0525244581.

LOCATIONS Goodlettsville-Suppression & Main
CALL # 248.32 S5419i.
AUTHOR Sheets, Dutch.
TITLE Intercessory prayer / Dutch Sheets.
IMPRINT Ventura, Calif., U.S.A. : Regal, c1996.
DESCRIPT 275 p. ; 22 cm.
NOTE Includes bibliographical references (p. [263]-264) and indexes.
SUBJECT Intercessory prayer.
ISBN/ISSN 0830718885 (hardcover)
ISBN/ISSN 0830719008 (trade paper)

CALL # 296.4 D261t.
AUTHOR Shendelman, Sara.
TITLE Traditions : the complete book of prayers, rituals, and blessings for every Jewish home / Sara Shendelman and Avram Davis.
EDITION 1st ed.
IMPRINT New York : Hyperion, c1998.
DESCRIPT 255 p. : col. ill. ; 22 cm.
NOTE Includes bibliographical references (p. 239-243)
SUBJECT Judaism — Customs and practices.
SUBJECT Fasts and feasts — Judaism.
SUBJECT Jewish families — Prayer-books and devotions — English.
ALT AUTHOR Davis, Avram.
ISBN/ISSN 0786863811 :

CALL # 813.54 L235p.
AUTHOR Lamott, Anne.
TITLE Plan B : further thoughts on faith / Anne Lamott.
IMPRINT New York: Riverhead Books, 2005.
DESCRIPT 320 p. ; 21 cm.
SUBJECT Lamott, Anne — Religion.
SUBJECT Novelists, American — 20th century — Biography.
SUBJECT Christian biography — United States.
SUBJECT Faith.
ISBN/ISSN 1573222992 (alk. paper)
ISBN/ISSN 0739457985 (pbk.)
ISBN/ISSN 9780739457986 (pbk.)

CALL # 813.54 L235t.
AUTHOR Lamott, Anne.
TITLE Traveling mercies : some thoughts on faith / Anne Lamott.
EDITION 1st ed.
IMPRINT New York : Pantheon Books, c1999.
DESCRIPT x, 275 p. ; 22 cm.
SUBJECT Lamott, Anne — Religion.
SUBJECT Women novelists, American — 20th century — Biography.
SUBJECT Christian biography — United States.
SUBJECT Mothers and sons — United States.
SUBJECT Faith.
ISBN/ISSN 0385496095 (Anchor pbk.)
ISBN/ISSN 0679442405.

CALL # 283.092 T2386a.
AUTHOR Taylor, Barbara Brown.
TITLE An altar in the world : a geography of faith / Barbara Brown Taylor.
EDITION 1st ed.
IMPRINT New York : HarperOne, 2009.
DESCRIPT xvii, 216 p. ; 22 cm.
NOTE Includes bibliographical references (p. [213]-216)
SUBJECT Taylor, Barbara Brown.
SUBJECT Episcopal Church — Clergy — Biography.
SUBJECT Anglican Communion — United States — Clergy — Biography.
SUBJECT Spiritual life — Christianity.
ISBN/ISSN 9780061370465.
ISBN/ISSN 0061370460.

CALL # 283.092 T2386L.
AUTHOR Taylor, Barbara Brown.
TITLE Leaving church : a memoir of faith / Barbara Brown Taylor.
EDITION 1st ed.
IMPRINT [San Francisco] : HarperSanFrancisco, c2006.
DESCRIPT xiii, 234, [1] p. ; 22 cm.
NOTE Includes bibliographical references (p. [235])
SUBJECT Taylor, Barbara Brown.
SUBJECT Episcopal Church — Clergy — Biography.
SUBJECT Anglican Communion — United States — Clergy — Biography.
ISBN/ISSN 0060771747.
ISBN/ISSN 9780060771744.

CALL # 253.53 G92h.
AUTHOR Guenther, Margaret, 1930-
TITLE Holy listening : the art of spiritual direction / Margaret Guenther.
IMPRINT Cambridge, Mass. : Cowley Publications, c1992.
DESCRIPT 146 p. ; 22 cm.
NOTE Includes index.
NOTE 92-27431BL.
SUBJECT Guenther, Margaret, 1930-
SUBJECT Spiritual direction.
SUBJECT Women — Religious life.
ISBN/ISSN 1561010561 :

CALL # 283.092 P96414d.
AUTHOR Proctor, Minna.
TITLE Do you hear what I hear? : religious calling, the priesthood, and my father / Minna Proctor.
IMPRINT New York : Viking, 2005.
DESCRIPT xiv, 274 p. ; 24 cm.
NOTE Includes bibliographical references (p. [257]-262) and index.
SUBJECT Proctor, Gregory, 1941-
SUBJECT Episcopal Church — Clergy.
ISBN/ISSN 067003326X (alk. paper)

On compassion.

Posted on by | Leave a comment

Jesus tells us we are to love our enemies. Let us take that as far as it will go. Everyone and everything is created by God. Everyone and everything is our neighbor. While it is easy to love the nice people, it is very hard to love the mean ones – but Jesus tells us they are exactly the ones we must be nice to.

They are the ones who need it the most.

So what about insects? Why do we consider a butterfly beautiful but a beetle creepy? Why do we celebrate one and crush the other?

Are you ready to love a wasp, or a roach, or a spider?

Are you ready to see them as created by the same Creator that made fireflies and lightning bugs?

Stay with this a moment. Breathe it in.

Then go further, and yet back.

Are you willing to be loving and gentle with the person who is attacking you or your friend? Are you willing to show mercy to the bigot, the racist, the homophobe?

Are you in a place in your head where you can love them for who they are, right now?

Do you have a space in your heart where you can see them as being the way God made them because He needs them this way, right now?

How about your own thoughts, your own bad habits? Are you able to love them, and see them as teachers?

How about your inability to get up early enough to go exercise? Your habit of spending all you make? Your love of greasy, fatty food? Your need to control others? Your need to be right?

Everything is a teacher. Everything is a gift, a guest in this house that is your soul, your life.

Compassion is a way of living, a way of loving. It is honoring each being, right where they are. It is seeing the beauty hidden behind all the walls, the veils, the shields that we all put up to prevent ourselves from being whole.

It is seeing the lotus growing out of the muck. It is knowing it is there, even if you can’t see it. It is about the potential. And it is about the present.

Our defenses keep us safe, we think. They keep us from having to get too close to ourselves and seeing ourselves in each other.

We are called to communion, to a union-with. We are called to wholeness. This is within ourselves, with every person, with every created being, and with God, the Creator of all.

Thank you for your concern for my soul.

Posted on by | 6 Comments

Thank you for your concern for my soul.

Thank you for reaching out to me, exhorting me to “return to the gospel” and to “repent of my sins.”

Your fervent pleas, so heartfelt, only further me on my path.

I follow a Jesus who isn’t prepackaged. I follow a Jesus who offers the Word, instead of lines from a script.

I’m sad to report to you that your message to me reads very harshly. I’m pretty certain that it wasn’t meant that way. I’m pretty sure that you are motivated out of your idea of love. We have to gather in all the lost sheep, after all. We are taught this.

But your words remind me of the times that members of my family tried to shame me as well.

That is what this is.

It is the same as a parent yelling at a child, telling her loudly and firmly that she doing something wrong. They feel that she is doing something so wrong that it is essential to stop her right then and there, before she wrecks her life. They do this out of love, they think.

It is the same as a well-meaning aunt or brother calling the wrath of God down on this same child, for different reasons, for many years. These same people change wills to benefit themselves. These same people lie to get their way. These same people manipulate with other abusive weapons.

God and Jesus should never be used as weapons. They should never be used to abuse another person.

I offer you a new way of understanding God, and Jesus, and the world. I offer you a new way of interacting with them.

I invite you to try to see your words from the perspective of the non-believer. I invite you to see how throwing Bible verses at them does not lead them into the fold, but turns them away. It turns the bread of life into a stone, the same stones that were meant to stone the adulteress. Instead of feeding, your words condemn.

I invite you into an understanding of God as the source of love.

I invite you into this love.

God first spoke to me when I was twelve, standing in my back yard. God has spoken to me many times since, and everything He has told me that was going to happen has happened. I have wrestled with this knowledge, knowing that it is unusual.

Yet I stayed away from Christianity for a long time because of people exactly like you, who made me feel shame for who I am. I stayed away from Jesus because I couldn’t see him for the Christianists who stood in His way.

I invite you into a new relationship with Jesus, and God. I invite you to discover Jesus by serving Him, by finding Him where He is hiding in plain sight. I invite you to find Him in the soup kitchen, at the tornado site, in the mall. I invite you to find Him while you are teaching a foreigner how to read our language. I invite you to find Him while listening to the heartache of a stranger who has been excluded from church.

I invite you to discover the joy that comes from letting God work through you.

I invite you into a relationship with a Jesus who loves all, serves all, and died for all.

I invite you into a bigger love.

This path isn’t paved. This Way is narrow and hard to see. It is a beautiful journey.

I will pray for you, as I hope you will pray for me.

I wish you peace and blessings on your journey.

Love, not fear. (my theology in two pages)

Posted on by | 3 Comments

It is time to stop approaching God on our knees.

Show reverence, respect, of course.

But Jesus makes us worthy to stand before God. Countless times angels appeared to people in the Old and New Testament and people threw themselves down to the ground, and the angel tells them every time to get up, to not be afraid. Don’t be afraid, fear not.

God needs us on our feet so we can serve Him.

There has to be a balance. Too many people these days have taken to the thought that they are God, because they have within them the light of God, which we call a soul. But we are the creation, we are not the Creator. We did not create ourselves. The world existed long before us, and will exist after us.

My theology isn’t a particular one. It is a gestalt, a blend. It is what has been revealed to me. Take it as you will.

I believe that Jesus came to point to God, rather than to himself. I believe that Jesus came to show us a way of life that leads to God.

We need to remember (or know) that God is everything. God is one. God created everything, and everything is God. We are like fish, swimming in the sea that is God. Even the fish are part of that sea that is God.

My theology is derived, gets words from, Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, and the words of Sufi mystics. I’ve found truth in Hinduism. I enjoy reading from all faiths, as well as listening to the voice of God that speaks to my heart.

I believe that God is constantly seeking us. I believe that we are all ministers of and to and for God. I believe a hierarchy of “ordained” and “lay” ministers is dangerous and leads to a sense of “greater” and “lesser than”.

I’ve been asked to cite chapter and verse of how I got to my assertions. To tell you how I got here is to try to point out each block that builds a building. I cannot point out exactly which trees lead me to this forest. I cannot lead you step by step along the path that will lead you to where I am. My belief comes from a lifetime of seeking and being found by God.

To try to point out each piece of the jigsaw puzzle is to miss the whole picture.

I’ve mentioned before in my blog that I am bipolar. I make no secret of it. Take my words as you will. Even if I didn’t reveal that, you should always read/research/reflect on what anyone says for yourself. Never ever entrust your path to another person. Buddha tells us this, and there is a lot of goodness in this. I’d rather have a person encourage me to question than to be expected to follow blindly.

Don’t follow. Walking along with is safer. If you follow, you can’t see where you are going.

My faith is new, and ancient. I’m not creating it out of whole cloth. Neither am I ripping up bits of pieces from all other faith traditions that have been before and making a quilt for myself either. I’ve seen a thread, a theme that runs through. I believe that thread runs from God to us and back to God. I believe that thread connects each of us, across languages, across countries, across cultures, across history.

That thread is a thread of love. We are created by a loving God. We are loved by God beyond words. We are here to make this world better, to let God work through us. We are here to let others know that they are loved by loving them.

We are here to wake up to ourselves, to our calling, to our lives. We are here to be active participants in our lives and in the life of our community and world. We are here to be fully alive.

I keep saying the same things over and over, in different ways. One day I’ll have all the words, and it still won’t be enough. I know I’m missing pieces. I know I’m forgetting to tell you an important part, but I don’t know what. One day I’ll have the experience that will give me a way to explain it. Meanwhile I wrestle, and I try.

You make love visible through living it. Love out loud. Live fully.