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Fear is a terrible motivator. Let’s try love instead.

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Not too long ago I realized that fear was a terrible motivator for change. If you used fear as a motivator to lose weight, your fear usually ended up making you seek the very things that you didn’t need. You’d be afraid of diabetes or cancer but instead of using healthy coping mechanisms like exercise or meditation, you’d go back to smoking cigarettes or eating “comfort food” which is sadly never healthy. And then you’d be stuck in that ugly cycle again.

Love is a better motivator. You love how you feel after you eat a well-balanced meal. You love how you feel after you have a good night’s sleep. You love how you feel after you’ve had a walk around the block. Or you love your granddaughter, and you want to live long enough to see her get married and graduate from college. Or you love the book you are working on, and you want to finish writing it.

If you are working towards something, rather than running away from something, you are more likely to have good results.

I think the same thing is true with following Jesus. So many people try to sell the idea of Jesus as the boogeyman. They use him as a guilt trip, and try to drag you along for the ride.

They will say that you are going to burn in hell if you don’t follow Jesus. Or they will say that you can’t go to their church if you don’t follow him the way that they follow him. Or they say that you will be condemned by God. They are motivated out of fear. They will do what their pastor says, they won’t question anything, and they will stay within the lines of whatever proscription their church has set up for them.

I don’t know about you, but that kind of motivation never worked well for me. I’m a questioner. I’m a person who likes to ask “why”. In fact, I need to know the reason why I have to do something in order to know how to do it. It isn’t that I’m being difficult. I’m not trying to get out of whatever task I’ve been assigned. I just need to understand the “why” so I can understand the “how” and the “what”. Fortunately I had teachers who translated this as “gifted” instead of “obstinate”.

I never wanted the Jesus these fear-lead people were selling. The mean, overlord, high-school principle Jesus. The micromanaging boss Jesus. But sadly, these were the loudest people. This version of Jesus wasn’t what fit with what I read in the Gospels either. I needed a Jesus who was about love and service. I needed a Jesus who taught me how to humble myself, but not in a way that was belittling. I mean humble in a way that lets the light of God shine through, but using me as the lens. This way, I’m still there, but I’m not in the way. I become a vehicle, rather than a driver.

Consider two dogs. One is a service dog. He’s been trained to help a blind person with their daily life. He resists his own inner nature to chase the squirrel when he is crossing the street with his companion. This keeps his companion safe and headed in the right direction.

Or, alternately, there is a stray dog that got yelled at all the time by her owners. She was never trained how to behave properly, and she just gets yelled at every time she does wrong. All she hears is yelling. So this dog ran away from home and now cowers in fear all the time, never knowing when she is going to get yelled at.

The service dog has been humbled, but it is out of service and out of love. He resists his own inner nature that causes him to stray and act without thinking of the consequences. He serves another person, helping that person throughout the day. He is a guide in the truest sense. And it all started with proper training. The trainer taught the dog how to be the best dog it could be, with positive commands and encouraging desired behavior and ignoring unwanted behavior.

The other dog has been humbled, but not out of love. There is no direction or goal in that humbling. It is a scattered and destructive kind of humbling. That kind of humbling is a lessening. Sadly, that kind of humbling is what many churches want to do. They want to focus on sin rather than redemption.

If you yell at someone for doing something bad, then that is all they will be able to think about. It ends up becoming pathological. We all desire attention. But if we don’t get attention for what we do that is good, and we only get attention for what we do that is bad, even if it is negative attention, then that is what we will continue to do.

Jesus took away all the “don’ts” in the commandments. He gave us what to do. We are to love. We are to love God and our neighbors with all our heart and soul and strength and mind.

Now, personally, I’m the kind of person that needs a little more instruction than that, so I supplement my Christianity with Buddhism and Judaism, with a little bit of Hinduism and Sufism thrown in for flavor. Some Christians would cringe at that, but I hope to change their minds. We are told to love our neighbors. How can we show them love if we don’t understand anything about them? The more I learn about other faith traditions, the closer I get to God. It is all motivated out of love. God made all of us different because he needs us that way. God doesn’t want us to all be the same. That would be as boring as garden full of the same kind of flower or an orchestra with just one kind of instrument. I like daylilies and piccolos, but I also like roses and kettledrums. I think God does too.

I love the fact that I can take a yoga class (Hindu) in a YMCA (Christian), while listening to music that has Caribbean steel drums and Tibetan throat singing and Chinese hammered dulcimer. I love that I can go to a Chinese buffet and get Japanese and American food too. I love that we are waking up to the beauty of each other and celebrating our differences. I think this is part of what the Kingdom of Heaven is all about.

On interdependence – God needs us and we need God.

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We need God, but likewise, God needs us.

Carl Sagan tells us that “We are a way for the cosmos to know itself.” We are part of the cosmos – we are created from tiny bits of stars that exploded long ago and far away. We are undeniably part of this universe. We are created from its very essence and we also seek to understand it.

Likewise, we are part of God. We are a distillation, a permutation of God. Now, don’t get me wrong. In no way do I believe that we are God. There are plenty of people these days who say that simply because we have the light of God within us, we are God. I think it is essential to not confuse the creation with the Creator.

In Jeremiah 18:6, the Lord says “…You are like the clay in the potter’s hands, and I am the potter.” And in Isaiah 64:8 we hear “Yet Lord, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You are our potter; we all are the work of Your hands.” We are vessels created by God, designed so that we can share the light and love of God in this world.

But it is also essential to not think of ourselves as dirt either. We are, every one of us, every person on this planet, precious children of God. We are forgiven and blessed and freed. We are created and called by God.

God needs us to do His will. We were created as the arms and legs of God. We are essential to bringing forth good in this world. Just like with vessels, we are meant to hold the God essence within us and take it to others and share it. We are meant to share love and hope and healing with the world.

It is all too easy to say “How could God let that happen” with whatever fill-in-the-blank atrocity or disaster has occurred. But really, the answer is “What are we, agents of God, going to do about it?” We are God’s agents in this world. We are the people who raise others up, who feed them, who clothe them, who comfort them, who teach them. We are the ones who stand up against injustice. We do this because God is moving within us, whether we realize it or not. Jesus tells us in Matthew 12:50 “Anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother!” (NLT)

I think it is helpful that we choose to do good in this world and that we choose to align ourselves with God. But the best part is that God is using us even if we don’t know it, and even if we don’t want it. I find it makes things easier if you know that God is in charge, that God is driving the bus.

In Deuteronomy 11:13-15, we learn this. “13If you will only heed his every commandment that I am commanding you today-loving the LORD your God, and serving him with all your heart and with all your soul-14then he will give the rain for your land in its season, the early rain and the later rain, and you will gather in your grain, your wine, and your oil; 15and he will give grass in your fields for your livestock, and you will eat your fill.” (NRSV)

So love and serve God, and God will love and provide for you. It is reciprocal, and mutually interdependent. Just like we need each other for survival, so does God need us. We are essential.

Remember God is always with you.

“It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” (Deut. 31:8)

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

”Teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” (Matt. 28:20)

The power of group prayer.

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Originally posted on FB 11-8-12

There is something to be said for the power of group prayer.

A few days ago I felt like I was going into battle at work. A lot of nonsense is going on with management and I felt very conflicted. The rules keep changing on what we are allowed to do, and we feel that we are being pitted against each other in each department. Jesus tells us to pray for our enemies. That is very hard, as you well know. I wanted strength to get through the day with my faith intact, knowing that God is always with me and serving as a good witness to His love.

I remembered all the prayers that lifted me up at Cursillo. Those prayers, from friends and strangers, helped me to get where I needed to be. Those prayers helped me and others overcome physical limitations so that we could be fully present that weekend. I wondered if there was a way I could tap into that power again, and while wondering it came to me that there are monks and nuns, both Christian and Buddhist, who are praying for everyone all across the world, right now. They are praying for peace and harmony and joy. They are praying for one-ness with each other and with our Creator .

I claimed those prayers. I claimed them as mine and tied into that web of support. I felt buoyed up, strengthened by a cloud of witnesses who do not even know me.

Last night I remembered that, and decided to pay it forward. It is good to pray for others by name, but it is also good to pray for those people you don’t even know. We can pray that they are helped, raised up, loved. That they are served by others as Christ would serve them. That those who are lost are found. That those who are found turn that light outwards towards others and expand the family of awakened humans.

I’m thankful that I am in this communion of saints, and thankful that I am learning how to give and receive this kind of support.

There is a hymn that has the refrain “We are one in the Spirit, we are one in the Lord”. It is time to make that real. We say in America “E pluribus unum” – out of many, one.

What would happen if this Body of awakened people all started to move as one?

Love in action is the very definition of God through Christ. The Bodhisattva vow also speaks to this. It is the vow of an enlightened person to not go on to Nirvana but to stay behind and help others achieve enlightenment. I am sure there are other examples like this throughout the world in other religions.

Our goal is to seek and serve God by serving our fellow humans, and all creation, treating everyone and everything with respect and love.

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Selfishness and self-less-ness

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Originally posted on FB 4-11-2012

I’m wary and weary of the new trends in spirituality that I’m seeing. I’m concerned and saddened that the current trend seems to be self-centered. Yes – you are important. Yes, you need to have a good sense of yourself. Yes – you are valued and loved by your Creator.

But so is everybody else. Every other person on this Earth was created by the same Creator. Every other person on this Earth deserves love and honor. I’m concerned that this current trend of self-centered spirituality will result in self-service only. It is fine if it is a start. It is fine if it is a seed that then grows into love and service of others.

I find that the “name it and claim it” trend is part of this. Wishful thinking. Magical thinking. Whether it is cloaked as New Age or spun into Christianity by Joel Osteen, it still feels like object-worship. It is materialism gussied up into religion. Don’t have time to be spiritual? Don’t think it is for you? But you want stuff – right? Well, here’s a religion for you! This way you can want stuff and feel good about it.

But stuff only leads you away. Things, material possessions, are a quick fix. Get what you want by praying for it, wishing for it, and you have more stuff. But then I feel you will still be empty. And then you’ll need to pray for a bigger house to hold all your stuff.

I think our Creator made us to be bigger than that. We are not born alone. When we are born, we are born into a community. At a minimum our Mom is there. In some cases it seems like the entire family is there – Dad, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings – where there is barely room for nurses and a doctor (if necessary). Our religions have prayers for welcoming new children among us. Why should our lives be any different?

I remember telling a lady about how Jesus stripped things down for us, because the Ten Commandments were just too hard for us to figure out. Love God, and love your neighbor. Easy. Everything else falls from that – you can’t steal, covet, or murder if you are showing love. How simple is that? Yet we’ve twisted it. It is becoming solely “love yourself” – and that love isn’t spreading outward.

I believe that God created every single one of us exactly the way we are because that is exactly the way we are needed. Variety is good. Eccentricity is good. We all have different talents and gifts. A garden doesn’t look nearly as interesting if it has only roses blooming in it. Add some zinnias and hyacinth and phlox and we’ve got something really cool. The same is true with a symphony. The trumpet may be a really important instrument, but it needs a tuba to round out the bottom notes, and there needs to be a drum section to keep the pace.

I believe that the best way to know God is to seek Him in his creation – and for some, that is in the wilderness. Some find insight and growth by working with plants and animals. I find however, that the most challenge comes in seeking God in people. Mother Teresa said that it was her privilege to serve other people. She felt that each person she served was Jesus in disguise. That the leper’s wounds were Christ’s wounds. That the baby dying in her arms was Christ himself. I think this is a powerful meditation.

About two years ago I started trying this at the library. I’m not doing earth-changing things. I’m creating library cards. I’m solving problems. But I decided to try this. To try to see each person as if they are Jesus, as if they are God made Flesh, in front of me. To my happiness, it resulted in profound experiences. Almost every person caught that vibe. They responded differently to me – more smiles, more open. Each transaction was easier. This doesn’t mean that everybody was happy. Sometimes you can’t make that happen in a five minute encounter. But the old, crotchety, smelly, snaggle-toothed characters that populate the library became my favorites. I now look forward to meeting with them and helping them. The weirder they are, the more I have to look for God hiding within them. The more I look – the more they see my interest in them. The more they soften up and reveal themselves to me. It is beautiful.

I invite you to look outside yourself.

I invite you to know that you are loved, and to then know that everyone else is loved in exactly that same way.

I invite you, that if you are a seeker of God – if you desire to know your Creator better, you can do no better than to serve your fellow humans. Each one is a facet into the beauty and mystery of the Eternal, the Divine, the Truth.

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God in a styrofoam cup.

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I used to think that I needed to go to an all-natural diet. Raw, organic, locally sourced – I was sold on this idea. Even better – go ahead and dig up my front yard and put in some beets and carrots. Train some beans to grow up the maple tree. What a great idea! I could feel connected to the Earth and know where my food is coming from. Plenty of people are getting “homesteading” books these days. Folks are either afraid of pesticides or genetically modified foods. The terrors are there – they are real. Lab rats prove to us that you shouldn’t mess with Mother Nature. Or they want to grow their own food to help out with the grocery bill. It is always cheaper to do it yourself, you know.

But I’m a terrible gardener. I don’t know what to feed my plants. I over water or under water. I don’t know what plants need shade, and what parts of my yard have shade all day. I also work all day long – by the time I have time to work on the yard it is dark outside. And even though I was raised by a Mom who loved to garden, she didn’t teach me a single thing about it. Sure, I could look things up – I have a library and I know how to use it. Sure, I could ask friends to show me how.

But I don’t think that is the point. I don’t have to do it all. I don’t have to grow my own food. I don’t have to sew my own clothes. I don’t have to repair my own car. I think that we all benefit when we are interdependent. It is through our common efforts that we are able to live the life that we have. Not growing my own food gives me the time to create jewelry. Not sewing my own clothes gives me time to write. Not repairing my own car gives me time to read books that inspire me.

Then I started to think that all-natural was closer to the way God intended it. No artificial stuff for me. The more mankind gets involved in something , the further away from real it gets. So wear cotton or linen, no rayon. Eat sugar and butter, not aspartame or margarine. If you can’t pronounce the ingredients on the label, don’t eat it. In general, this is a good plan. Michael Pollan says in his book Food Rules this basic truth. “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” By “food” he means non-processed. Eat foods your grandmother would recognize as food. Cheese is better than Cheese-Wiz. Eat foods that are plants, not foods that came from a (manufacturing) plant.

So now I’m back to the beginning.

Then one day I went to visit a friend. I had been running late, so I hadn’t had my coffee. My friend offered me tea and I happily accepted. But she served it to me in a Styrofoam cup. My “all-natural” side raised an eyebrow. My “recycling” side raised the other eyebrow. I was a little freaked out.
And then I remembered some things.

Buddhist monks don’t eat meat – but if they go to visit someone at their home and are served a meal with meat, they will eat it. They eat it out of respect for the fact that it is a gift that is given to them. They eat it because no good will be done by not eating it. The animal is already dead. Refusing to eat this meal will not restore the animal.

And I remembered something from Madeline L’Engle. She wrote a book called “Walking on Water”. It is about what it means to be a Christian artist. She says that it is essential to be a co-creator with God. She says that God created humankind as participants. We are His hands and His feet – we are created, and we are creators. I’ve heard similar ideas in a Jewish podcast that I enjoy listening to. It is called “Spiritual Tools for an Outrageous World” and it is by David Sacks.

Perhaps the biggest thing that came to mind was something I read in a pamphlet on Eucharistic adoration by Daniel Connors. He said in one of the prayers that it is amazing that Jesus chooses to reveal Himself to us in bread and wine. “…they do not exist without God and human beings./Even the wheat and grapes they come from/ do not occur naturally,/ but are the product of human cultivation.” He goes on to say “You are fully God and fully human./ How wise you were to choose to be present to us in a form that cannot exist/ without God and human beings/ both doing their part.”

So I sat and drank my tea in the Styrofoam cup, comforted by the teachings of my Buddhist and Episcopal and Jewish and Catholic friends in spirit. It was good.