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Forgetting, forgiveness

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I know a lady who refuses to go to a certain church because they are OK with gay people. And by OK I mean the denomination not only welcomes gay people but also has gay ministers.

She says that homosexuality isn’t Christian.

I asked her what Jesus said about homosexuality. She got a little defensive and paused. She then admitted that she wasn’t completely familiar with all of what Jesus said. When I told her that Jesus said nothing about being gay, but said a lot about loving other people and a lot about not judging, she got even more defensive.

I wasn’t winning over a convert here. She thinks I’m wrong, and I think she is wrong. She thinks I’m twisting the rules to say that something that she has been taught is wrong isn’t actually wrong. I think she is using religion as an excuse to be a bigot.

The ironic part is that she is living with the father of her child, but they aren’t married. Their daughter is three. So by the same bag of rules that she was handed by society, she too is a sinner.

But she isn’t. And neither are gay people. Or, we all are, and that debt is paid.

No matter how you do the math, it is OK.

On one side, Jesus gave us two rules – love God, and love our neighbor as ourselves. If whatever you are doing honors those things, then you are good. If it violates these things, then stop doing them.
But then here’s the other side. Jesus paid for all of our sins. All of them. For all time. Jesus totally got that it is really hard to be perfect. He got that it is very hard to be human. We make mistakes. We try. We fail again.

When Jesus said “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” he might as well have said to us “That’s OK – just try again to do it right the next time, but I know you won’t get it right, and that’s OK too.”

This doesn’t mean that we are off the hook. This doesn’t mean that we can do whatever we want and forget the consequences. We need to be mindful. But we need to also be patient with ourselves because we aren’t ever going to get it perfect.

Alexander Pope said “To err is human, to forgive divine.” This bears remembering.

Perhaps what people are afraid of about gay people being welcomed in church is that they think there won’t be room enough. They don’t want to share space with them. They think there won’t be room for them to be in church with all gay people there. Maybe they think that church is only for perfect people – ones who have it all figured out and are living a blameless life.

Maybe they forget that nobody’s perfect, and we are all forgiven.

Maybe they forget that we are all called to love, in the same way that Jesus loved us.

This, too, is forgiven, this forgetting.

Christian Sharia Law

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I’m very concerned where things are going in this country. I’m very concerned that certain religious groups are trying to make everyone in the country follow their view of what is right by enacting or supporting laws that are in line with their morality code.

What if vegetarians were in charge? There would be laws that nobody could eat meat. Everyone would eat only vegetables, and no animals would be raised in farms for consumption. Sure, they might allow cows to be raised for their milk, and chickens to be raised for their eggs, because they aren’t vegans. They would point out that a meat-based diet is proven to be bad for you, so they are really doing you a favor by not allowing you to eat meat.

Or what if recovering alcoholics were in charge? There would be no alcohol for anyone to drink. Making alcohol would be illegal. The entire idea of having a glass of wine every day for your health would disappear. I wonder what would happen to the Catholics and Episcopalians. No Communion wine! They would argue that they have to have wine for religious reasons, and the recovering alcoholics would get the AA to hire attorneys to say that drinking any bit of alcohol leads to more drinking, so it can’t be allowed. Bars would cease to exist. Distilleries would cease to exist. And there would be no drunk-driving accidents, and there would be no underage drinking, because there would be no drinking at all. Well, no legal drinking, because we see how well Prohibition worked, but hopefully you get my point.

What if gluten-intolerant people, those with celiac disease, were in charge? Everything would be safe for them to eat. Gluten would be removed from the menu of all restaurants. No grocery store would be allowed to sell anything that had gluten in it. Wheat farmers would stop growing wheat. Bakers would have to relearn their craft.

All of these things would be done with the idea that it would be better if everybody followed a certain group’s rules. That group has certain rules that it has to, or has chosen to, live by. There are certain things they can’t have, and they realize that they can’t have them for their own good. And because they are in power, they want to make sure that everybody else can’t have those things either. You don’t need meat, or alcohol, or gluten. You can survive without them. But is it the right of another group to decide for you what you should eat or drink based on their belief system? Even if they think they are doing it for your own good?

I’m embarrassed and frightened that American Christian lawmakers and voters are using their belief system as a reason to deny others their rights. Even if they think their rights are wrong. Or rather, they are doing it because they think their rights are wrong.

How is this different from Sharia law? How is this different from a Muslim-lead country saying that every woman has to cover herself from head to toe in a huge swath of fabric and every man has to have a beard? They are doing it for their own good, right?

Let’s try another tack. I personally am against abortion. I think that abortion is murder, no matter how you want to define it. But, I do not feel I have the right to force my view on another person by enacting laws against abortion. I feel that every child should be a wanted child. I feel that nobody should have to be pregnant against their will, and nobody should have to raise a child they aren’t ready for, whether emotionally or financially. So even though I’m anti abortion personally, I’m pro-choice legally. What I think is a better way is to encourage better contraception options. Prevent unwanted pregnancies before they start. Have better sex-education. Empower young girls to say no and mean it if that is what they want. Empower them to have sex in a safe way if they want. Teach boys to be respectful of a woman’s choice and to not guilt trip or force her into having sex.

So for Christian lawmakers and voters to not allow consenting adults to get married just because they are of the same sex is illogical to me. Jesus said absolutely nothing about homosexuality. He said a lot showing love to each other, and a lot about not judging other people. There is nothing “un-Christian” about gay marriage if you really think about it. But the problem is that many Christian lawmakers and voters don’t want to think about it.

They don’t want to think at all. And that is the problem. They let their parents or their husbands or their ministers or their friends do the thinking. This isn’t what God wants. God gave us brains to use. God doesn’t want us to be mindless.

The more I thought about it, I realized that I had to be pro-gay-rights because I am Christian. It isn’t our right to tell other people how to live their lives. Jesus didn’t do that. So much for the “What Would Jesus Do?” armbands from a decade ago. What did Jesus do? He wasn’t a jerk, wandering around and telling everybody that they were a sinner. He was there for people when they came to him for healing. He taught them that God loves them and forgives them and wants them to do the same for everybody else. He submitted to his Father’s will, ultimately and completely, and wants us to do the same.

That’s it. There is nothing else.

On the Minnesota lawmaker who was “heartbroken” about gay marriage.

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A Minnesota representative is heartbroken over the fact that gay people can now marry in her state.

Heartbroken.

I’m sad that she’s sad that other people in her state are now happy that they can marry the person they love.

Representative Peggy Scott said “It’s a divisive issue that divides our state. It’s not what we needed to be doing at this time. We want to come together for the state of Minnesota, we don’t want to divide it.”

But, we are coming together, as a nation. We are opening up the definition of marriage. We are showing people that love is love, regardless of who is doing the loving.

Love between two consenting adults should not be an issue that has to be decided by the courts. I really can’t get why people are opposed to it. This should be a non-issue. So I’m going to try to work out some of the points that I’ve heard brought up.

Why are people so threatened by the idea of gay people getting married? If you don’t want to be married to a gay person, don’t get married to a gay person. That’s easy.

Then there is the idea of marriage being a Christian institution. There are plenty of people who aren’t members of any religious organization who are just as legally married as those who are members. You don’t have to worship God to get married. It is a legal contract between two adults.

So maybe there is a fear issue. How does allowing someone who is gay get married affect you?

Some people who say they are Christian are saying that God will judge America over the fact that we are allowing gay people to get married. If God hasn’t judged America over how we treated the native people who were living here when the Pilgrims came, over the whole slavery issue, over the fact that we put Japanese people in internment camps during World War 2, over how we treat the poor and immigrants today, then I’m pretty sure He’s not going to worry about letting gay people get married.

In fact, I’m pretty sure that God is cool about gay people getting married.

There are certainly those who will quote from the Old Testament book of Leviticus where it says that gay people are an abomination and you shouldn’t allow them to live. And there are those who quote from the letters of the apostle Paul that are equally negative.

Now, my take on being a Christian is that I follow Jesus, not Paul. Jesus threw out a bunch of rules from the Old Testament. This is why it is OK to eat bacon cheeseburgers and wear cloth that is woven with fiber from wool and cotton. He realized that there were so many little rules that were getting in the way of the big rules, the ones that really mattered. He gave us only two that we had to follow. Love God, and love your neighbor.

I know this is hard to handle for most people. I used to think in the same way as those people, because that is what I was taught. But this is a really important point to get.

The whole message from Jesus is about love. Jesus said absolutely nothing about homosexuality, and a whole lot about loving people and not judging them.

I saw a photo recently that said “Bigotry wrapped in prayer is still bigotry.” A bigot is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary as “a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially : one who regards or treats the members of a group with hatred and intolerance.”

To enact or support laws that prevent gay people from getting married is bigoted. It is a rule directed against another group based simply on an intolerance of their way of life. This is a human rights issue, not a religious issue.

To use your religion, which is for love and against judging others, as an excuse for your bigotry is terrible. It gives a bad face to a good thing. It turns people away from the message of Jesus. It is bad witness.

There are a number of people who say that Christians are being persecuted for their beliefs.

They aren’t.

If someone is being hateful and judgmental about people, then they really haven’t absorbed the message of Jesus yet. So they aren’t really Christian.

I’m not being very nice here. I’m tired of being nice. I’m tired of people using Jesus as an excuse to be hateful. I’m tired of people being spoon-fed what to think by their church. I’m tired of people not reading the Gospels for themselves and using the brain that God gave them to understand there is nothing in there about hate. I’m tired of every week hearing another story about a prominent person who makes it hard for me to publically admit I’m a Christian because of their publically aired intolerant view that uses Christianity as an excuse.

I feel like my belief system has been hijacked.

When people are confronted with their hate, they always insist that they aren’t hate-filled, and they aren’t judgmental, in the same way they say they aren’t racist and they aren’t homophobic. And they are just lying to themselves. It’s understandable. This is a normal human defense mechanism. But it is dangerous to be self-deluded.

I cannot get why “Christians” feel that they are obliged to force their narrow view of what is right on others. To insist that other people follow the rules of your religion even though it is not their religion is exactly what Americans freak out about in regards to the Muslim idea of Sharia law. So why do it here?

Julie Burt, gay marriage opponent who was at the Minnesota Capitol for this vote had her opinions about the legislation. “I feel sorry for our world. But the world has turned,” Burt said. “The world has turned to a place that wants immediate gratification. And it breaks my heart. Breaks my heart for my children and my grandchildren.”

I’m not heartbroken. I’m happy for her children and her grandchildren. Her children and grandchildren are going to grow up in a country that doesn’t discriminate about love.

Because love is what it is all about.

Immoral? On the gay teacher who was fired from her Catholic school job.

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I recently read a story about a lady named Carla Hale who was fired from her job because she was in committed relationship with another woman.

She worked for 19 years at a Catholic high school in Ohio as a physical education teacher. When her Mom died, her partner was mentioned in the obituary. A parent at the school contacted the school saying she was “appalled” and Carla was then fired. The school has a policy about “immoral” behavior as a reason to get fired. Employees “can be terminated for immorality or serious unethical conduct” according to their contract. According to a GLAAD.org post “The school informed Carla that she was not fired because she was gay, but because her relationship was printed in the local paper. The obituary amounted to a “public statement” of her relationship.”

While Ohio is a state where it is legal to fire someone because they are gay, the community where the school is located makes it a crime for employers to discriminate based on sexuality. So there is a little murky legal ground here. It appears the school is using doublespeak. They aren’t firing her because she is gay, but because her being gay and in a relationship is public knowledge. And that, to them, is immoral.

Fortunately the students are protesting her firing to the local diocese, and the teacher is planning on fighting the termination. There are over 63,000 signatures in her favor on a Change.org petition. But this whole story shouldn’t have happened.

I would think firing someone right after her Mom died would be immoral. I would think that forcing people to hide their loving relationship, their adult, mutually reciprocated loving relationship, would be immoral.

I can understand the church having issue with people of any sexual orientation having sex outside the bonds of marriage. So why would it be a problem for two gay adults who want to spend their lives together? They aren’t being promiscuous.

I have two new friends who are a gay couple. They went to the trouble of getting married in a state that allows them to marry. Sadly, Tennessee is not that evolved. But I digress. The mother of one died after an illness, and there was a bit of a fracas over the fact that his spouse was listed in the obituary merely as a “friend.” This is a huge downgrade. This is an insult. It was deeply painful at a time of great emotional distress.

I wonder if the funeral home did this because they were afraid of an adverse reaction to the term “spouse” or even “partner.” The funeral home is in a small town. Members of the community may not have known her son was gay. Of course, it never does any good to make up stories about people and their motivations. But look how the obituary at the start of this post caused problems. Perhaps they thought they were being kind.

To be honest, the obituary didn’t cause a problem. Inanimate things don’t cause problems. People do, when they don’t think. The parent didn’t think when she decided that the teacher’s sexual orientation was a problem. Then she didn’t think when calling the school. Then the school administration didn’t think when firing the teacher, who had worked there with no problems for 19 years.

What is the problem with having a teacher who is homosexual around children? “Homosexual” does not equal “pedophile.”

But I’m trying to make sense out the policies of a church that has equated women getting ordained with the crime of pedophilia. I’m trying to make sense out of a church that attacks the very people who are doing the work Jesus told us to do. They censure nuns who won’t advocate against homosexuality and are for birth control, while serving the poor and the sick.

I’m trying to make sense out of a religion that has diluted the commandment to love and substituted “mind everybody else’s business.” I’m trying to make sense of how far we have gotten away from Jesus’ message. Some Christian denominations teach that the Jewish people are mislead because they don’t follow Jesus. Remember what Jesus said about the plank and the speck? Many Christians don’t follow Jesus either.

They follow the rules of the church rather than the rules of Jesus. They follow tradition, not scripture and reason. They follow the words of Paul, not Jesus. They actively discourage their parishioners thinking for themselves because it might lead to dissent.

I’m not anti Jesus. And I don’t want to be anti church but the more stories I read like this, I realize I don’t have a choice. For me, in order to follow Jesus, I can’t follow the church as it is. A person can’t serve two masters.

We must not be unequally yoked. If you feel that Jesus is going one way and the church is going another, you are obliged to follow Jesus.

God is Love

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I used to be a bigot against gay people. Oh, sure I had gay friends. I was nice to all the gay customers at work. But, deep down, I was a bigot. That is the true name for it. I think it is important to be honest.

Plenty of people aren’t honest with themselves. They won’t admit that they are bigots. Plenty of people will say that they don’t judge gay people, but they just don’t approve of their lifestyle. They will use that “love the sinner, hate the sin” line. They will quote chapter and verse in the Old Testament section of the Bible where it says that homosexual behavior is an “abomination.” They will quote chapter and verse from a letter of the apostle Paul saying something similar.

I had been out of the Episcopal Church for a long time – I’d been out of church in general. When I returned a few years ago I learned about the schism that had been caused after the election of an openly gay, partnered gay man as a Bishop. This was in New Hampshire. Plenty of people left the church. They would rather leave the church than be a part of something they felt was wrong. I respect their right to do that. It is important to have choices and to be able to stand up for what you believe. I admit that I was a bit wary when I rejoined the church. This Bishop was not over my diocese, but I still thought about it. What if it happened here? And to be a Bishop, you have to be a priest first. What would I think if the priest in my church was gay?

Then I thought well, there’s the whole idea of sin in general. How much sin can any priest be a part of and I’m still OK with that? What if a priest is having an affair? What if a priest is an alcoholic? What is an acceptable level of sin? Are some sins bigger than others? And does it make it worse if the sin is openly admitted, and not even thought of as a sin?

Sure, I knew the line from Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” (NIV) and also Ecclesiastes 7:20 ”Indeed, there is no one on earth who is righteous, no one who does what is right and never sins.” (NIV) So that’s easy. We all sin. Everyone is a sinner. And sin is sin – there is no greater sin or lesser sin. It is an impurity, a “missing the mark.” It is any time you fail to act in the way that you know to be best.

Then I started to think about all the rules that went away when Jesus came. Things that were a big deal before him became non-issues. There are 613 commandments that Orthodox Jewish people must follow. The Ten Commandments are just a start. Everything changed with Jesus. After Jesus, men no longer had to cover their heads or have beards. It was totally OK to eat bacon. You could eat beef and cheese together. It was OK to mix wool and linen fibers when creating a garment.

Jesus boiled down everything to just two rules. He stripped it all away and made it a lot easier to follow. Matthew 22:37-40 tells us when He was asked what is the greatest commandment, “Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (NIV)

These words really got into me. They changed how I view sin. They changed how I view my relationship with my neighbor.

As Christians, we follow Christ. The rules of the Old Testament no longer apply. The opinions of Paul that are in the Epistles are only useful if they support what Jesus said.

What did Jesus say about homosexuality? Nothing. What did He say about judging others? Lots.

What did Jesus say we are to do? Show love. Love God, and love our neighbors. It is all about love.

Thus, being homosexual is not a sin. It is not in violation of either rule.

Thus, being judgmental against homosexuals is a sin. Saying that how they live is sinful is in fact, a sin. Making or allowing rules or laws to exist that are against them so that they are not equal members of society, is sinful.

I am pro gay rights BECAUSE I am a Christian.

Thanks be to God.

Unclean!

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I’ve heard a lot of testimonies about people who have become Christian. They say that their lives have become easier. They gave their lives over to God and it all got easier.

I don’t know what they are talking about. I think it gets harder.

In my opinion, when you become a Christian, you become awake. You are aware of the awesome responsibility that you have to be a force for good in the world. You switch from being passive to active.

Yes, there is a sense of your “Higher Power” as they say in AA. You aren’t in charge (and you never were), and you know that God is in charge. You can relax in that sense. And there is the sense that once you are saved, you are then set for when you die. You know where you will go.

But what about in between now and then? Do you just get to sit back and be smugly happy that you’ve got “it” and others don’t? Is being Christian some ugly game of musical chairs, where the loser gets condemned to an eternity in Hell? That doesn’t sound very nice. It also doesn’t sound very Christian. Not really. Not in the true sense of the word.

It does sound like the modern brand of Christian, unfortunately. There are plenty of folks who wear that name like a shield against the rest of the world. They use it like a “get out of jail free” card. They feel like it means they are set – they will live forever. But they then are arrogant about it. They lord The Lord over people. But life isn’t a game of Monopoly. It really isn’t about getting and buying more stuff and about screwing over other people on the way.

When I became Christian I didn’t get a full grasp of what it meant, and I suspect that I still don’t know the full depth of what my responsibilities are. I certainly don’t feel like I do it right all the time. I feel like it is a process, and instead of “Being” Christian, it is more like I’m “Becoming” Christian. It feels like every year I grow deeper into my faith and closer to understanding what the Bible means. I still find the idea of Jesus as “The WORD made flesh” really interesting and I think I have no real clue what that means. I think I have a glimmer of a hope of understanding it.

I feel like the most important thing about being a Christian is that it isn’t a free pass to Heaven. It is marching orders to the front lines of Hell. We are called to be Christ’s Body in this world. Literally. We are His arms and His legs. When folks say “How could God let that happen”, the real answer is “How can we, agents of God, let that happen?” We are to be a force for good. We are to bring forth God’s love. We are to let God work through us.

Jesus didn’t hang out in the swank part of town. He didn’t buy a huge mansion and wall himself off from the world. He was a man of the people. He walked out among average, everyday people who were lost and hungry and sick. He got right in the middle of the tangled knots of life and untangled them. He was a hands-on kind of guy.

He touched lepers. Nobody did that. Lepers were “unclean” in all the ways possible. They had an infectious skin disease that meant they had to live outside of the camp with other lepers. They didn’t get to see their families. They didn’t get to hang out with their friends. It was a lonely existence. They had to wear bells to announce they were lepers to anyone who might come near. If you touched a leper, then you too were considered “unclean.”

But Jesus didn’t care about that. He not only associated with lepers, He touched them, and He didn’t catch leprosy. He healed them.

It makes me wonder, how much of their healing was just being acknowledged by another person? How much of the healing was just being noticed AS a person? Every single person Jesus healed was precious to Him. He violated so many rules that were in place at that time – touching lepers, dead people, women who had menstrual problems. Any one of these conditions would render a person unclean in those days. None of these rules stopped him.

Jesus not only showed us what to do, he empowered us to do it. He showed us that we are to heal others. He gave power to heal to His disciples and through the power of apostolic succession we have that power too. Through the power of the Holy Spirit we have it. Be assured – if you are Christian, you have that power.

So what is our modern day leprosy? What are the conditions that people find themselves in that make them excluded from society? What conditions make people pariahs? What conditions create invisible social walls that make people “unclean” in our society’s eyes? Thus – what places are we called to break down those walls and build bridges?

How about mental illness? How about being a single mother? How about AIDS? How about being gay? There are others, but this is a good start.

If you are a Christian, you have the power to heal. You have within you the means to bring forth God’s mercy and healing. All you have to do is let it happen. You don’t need special training. Just pray, and Jesus will show you how. It is that easy, and that hard. It is terrifying at first. It goes against all of our social rules. Don’t talk to strangers. Don’t get involved. Don’t make a scene. We are called to be in the world, but not of the world. The rules of society no longer apply. Jesus broke rules all the time. We are called to do the same. This often means getting out of your comfort zone. This often means taking a risk. It isn’t easy, but it is essential.

Now, it isn’t about passing judgment, and it certainly isn’t about passing laws against people. These actions create separation. We are called to bring together all the lost sheep. We are to show love and kindness and mercy to everyone. We are not to tell others that what they are doing is wrong in our opinion. We are to love them. By loving them, we are healing them. We are healing the rifts that divide people into “us” and “them”.

How do you bring forth healing? One way is to treat every person as if they are Jesus in disguise. This is how Mother Theresa acted. She felt that it was her honor to wash Jesus’ wounds when she washed a leper. She held Jesus in her arms when a frail elderly person died. You don’t have to work at a non-profit to do this. You can do this in your everyday job. Treat each person fairly and kindly. Don’t gossip. Be patient. Show actual interest in each person. Give each person your full attention and your time. When you start doing this you may find it is a little overwhelming and exhausting. Keep it up. It gets easier. It is just like exercise – you get stronger the more you do it.

We are given two commandments – love God, and similarly, love your neighbor as yourself. Every person is a child of God. Every person has within her or him a spark of the light of God. So, treat every person with kindness and respect and love. In Matthew 22:37 we hear these words from Jesus – “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” We, as Christians, are called to show the same focus and intensity to “the least of these”, to the “unclean”, to everyone.