hair | betsybeadhead

Why do women paint their real nails to look like real nails? A “French” manicure replicates the look of real nails, but they aren’t real. The colors are the same as unpolished nails, but enhanced. Most women who have this nail style pay a lot of money to get this done. None of this makes any sense. If you are going to go to the trouble of having fake nails, why make them look like real nails? Why not have real nails?

Why is fake better than real?

I knew a lady who didn’t even have her own nails painted to look like a French manicure. She used fake nails. Every week she would take off the fake nails and put on new fake nails. She felt she had to do this to look professional for her job. The chemicals she used for this were damaging her own real nails. Every week her own natural nails looked worse and worse because of the fake nails she was putting on.

What a waste of money and time. This is madness.

It reminds me of the makeup that is sold as “the natural look”. If you have to pay money to get the natural look, it isn’t natural. If it comes in a bottle, it isn’t real.

Imagine how many industries would go out of business if women loved how they look. We are taught that we aren’t beautiful with every advertisement. We are taught that we aren’t good enough, no matter what we look like. It is a game we can never win.

Our skin is blotchy or too light or too dark. There are concealers, creams, and foundations that even out skin tones and make them any color you’d like. There are bleaches that will lighten your skin if you are too dark.

Our butts are too big or not big enough. There are elastic bands that squeeze fat into submission. There are padded prosthetics that give you a rounded shape.

Our hair is the wrong color or it is going grey. If your hair is too dark, make it blonde. If it is blonde, then make it brunette. If it is going grey, cover it up. Once you start on that path you’ll forever have to get your hair done to keep up.

Our hair is too straight, too curly, to kinky, too flat, too textured, too much.

We have hair in places we are told we shouldn’t have hair. We tweeze, pluck, shave, and wax it away. Hairs on arms and faces are discretely taken care of. Hair almost everywhere else is removed or trimmed into submission.

Why do women shave? We are expected to shave off all (or most of) the body hair we gained when we hit puberty. To remove this is to reduce our appearance to that of a prepubescent girl. Something is distinctly creepy about this.

Why do we have to feel ashamed about something natural? Why are we taught that we aren’t good enough? Why are we taught that our natural beauty isn’t beautiful?

And more importantly, why do we believe these lies?

I cut my own hair. I’ve cut my own hair since I was in college. My brother’s wife at the time was a hairdresser and she happened to mention that she cut her own hair. I’d never even considered such a thing. I always thought that was something that you had hire someone to do. How many other things are possible if we just hear that we can do it ourselves?

Fortunately when I first started cutting my own hair I was in college, where it didn’t really matter what my hair looked like. I had a job on campus to pay off my student loan, so it wasn’t like a real job. If my hair looked weird I wasn’t going to get fired. Plus, having strange hair is part of being in college. If it looked really strange I could wear a hat.

I cut my hair like I trim shrubbery. I whack at it until it doesn’t bother me. Just like shrubbery, it will grow back, so there really isn’t too much that can go wrong. Well, there was the time that I cut off way too much and had to trim up the rest to match… It turns out that I look good with a Mohawk. It is more about attitude than style. If you carry the “yeah, I meant this” attitude, you can get away with any style.

I have gotten my hair cut professionally before and it always seems to be done wrong. I have a weird random cowlick that starts about four inches down on my right side. I know where it is but the hairdressers never do. I’ve decided that it is just easier to cut my own hair. Why pay to get my hair cut, and have it done badly, when I can screw it up myself for free?

If you are a highly sensitive person, cutting your own hair is the way to go. Going to a hairdressing salon can be a very overwhelming experience if you have sensory processing disorder. No more dealing with a stranger touching your head. No more feeling trapped in that uncomfortable chair with a person standing behind you. No more smelling the strong chemicals in the salon.

After all these years I’ve gotten pretty good at cutting my own hair. It takes a bit of practice to get right, because I am working backwards in a mirror. The trick is to cut a little bit at a time and make small adjustments. Also – have a simple hairstyle.

I used to cut my hair as a study break in college. I studied a lot, and when the stress would get to me I’d cut my hair. I guess I got in more practice that way. It didn’t look that bad. In fact, a friend wanted her hair cut like mine and I cut her hair for free. She looked like me and also worked on campus. It was funny dealing with people in the bookstore where I worked who would stare at me and say “Weren’t you in the computer lab?” I’d assure them that I wasn’t. They wouldn’t believe me. I’d ask – was I really quiet and shy, or energetic like I am now? The quiet and shy one is Beth, not Betsy. Plus – her hairstyle wasn’t exactly like mine – it was the mirror of mine. It was a funny summer.