Poem – homeless, helpless?

Is being homeless a bad thing?
Like night, like winter
Perhaps it is a phase
A pause.

And then what if we got homes
For all the homeless,
what then?
Do we tackle
drug abuse,
prostitution,
morbid obesity?

How many different ways
can we harm ourselves?

Jesus says that the poor
will always be with us.
But he also says that
whatever
we do to the least of these
we do to Him.

So what do we do?
Do we help?
And if so, how?

Is helping really helping
or is it weakening?
If you carry someone
then they don’t learn how to walk
On their own.

Piety

I had a dream that I was at some church gathering where we all were going to get lunch. It was at a local restaurant, not at the church itself. Near the entrance of the restaurant were four beggars. Also near the entrance was the pastor, but hiding.

It was a test. Do the members stop to talk with the beggars? Do they give them money or food? At the very least do they give them a smile and treat them like they are human? Or do they ignore them?

There is a saying from Jesus to not let your piety be seen. It is rude to do something good so that you will get bonus points. Matthew 6:1 “Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be seen by them; for then you have no reward from your Father in heaven.”

But it is also a bad idea to learn to love your neighbor in the abstract but not show it in the concrete.

But how loving is it to allow someone to be dependent? To give food or money to someone who has the capacity to earn it themselves is to undermine their basic humanity and dignity. It is to encourage them to continue to be a beggar.

And how is it loving of a pastor to try to trap people? The purpose of a pastor is to lead, to teach, to educate.

It is all very complicated. Sure, it was a dream, but it has a basis in reality.

It reminds me of the videos that Jon Quinones’ show “What Would You Do?” where they secretly films people in posed morally questionable situations. Instead of teaching people what are good ways of dealing with the situation, he basically mocks people who fail to rise to the occasion.

I think the goal of any leader, but especially of religious leaders, is to instruct and inform, rather than point out flaws. Instead of figuring out ways to catch people sinning, help them to know what is the right thing to do. If they fail in a “test” – it isn’t their fault. It is the leaders’ fault for not teaching them correctly.

The whole verse is here (Matthew 6:1-8) (NRSV)
1 “Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be seen by them; for then you have no reward from your Father in heaven. 2 “So whenever you give alms, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be praised by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. 3 But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your alms may be done in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. 5 “And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. 6 But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. 7 “When you are praying, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard because of their many words. 8Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

Homework – to help, or not to help.

I’ve never understood why parents will worry over their children’s homework. So many parents seem to think that “helping” their child with their homework means actually doing the work. The more that parents do for their children, the less the child is doing for himself. The less he does for himself, the less he is learning.

At what point is helping your child with homework just assisting, and at what point is it enabling? At what point is it flat out cheating?

Sure, you want your child to do well. Who doesn’t? But if you do the work for your child you are teaching him that he doesn’t have to do any work at all. The “A” that he gets isn’t really his “A”.

When your child comes up to you the night before an assignment is due and asks for your help, don’t. He got that assignment way before today. He has had time to work on it and has chosen not to. If you rescue him and do a lot of the work for him you are teaching him that waiting until the last minute is OK. You will teach him that failure to plan is fine. You will teach him that it is ok to make his procrastination other people’s problems.

Whatever behavior you want to see in your child when he is an adult, you should encourage it now. Waiting until the last minute to do your work, whether it is for school or for salary, is a bad idea and will result in less than perfect work. Expecting others to drop everything they are doing to help you with your assignments is bad too.

Expect better of your children. Encourage them to do their own work. If they get a low grade, at least it is their grade. Hopefully it will inspire them to get motivated sooner on their assignments.

Sure, help them with their homework. Take them to the library. But let them choose the books. Instead of answering a question, show them how to look up the answer. If you do all the work then they aren’t learning anything.

It isn’t about the grades. It is about what the child learns.

Plenty of parents feel pride if their child gets good grades in school. Why feel proud of your child’s grades if you have done the majority of the work?

Plenty of parents will say that “we have all this homework to do” It isn’t “we”. It is the child’s assignment. Let them do it. Teach them how to be responsible for themselves by making them be responsible for themselves.

Will post for food…

I read a story lately about a lady who was in dire straits. She posted on a local Facebook page saying that she needed help and didn’t know what to do.

She said that she really needed help. She was a single mom and had two little girls, one 7 and one nearly 2. She said that she was about to be evicted because she hadn’t paid her rent, she didn’t have any food, and she didn’t have winter clothes for the girls. She said she was starting a job on Monday but wouldn’t be paid until two weeks later.

Plenty of things don’t sound right about this.

Apartments don’t kick you out for nonpayment of rent for the first month. They usually wait at least two months. So this has been going on for a while.

If she has custody of the children, she should be getting child support. She didn’t mention anything about this. Perhaps she is a widow. Again, no mention.

No food? No winter clothes? Did she just wake up from a coma and notice that something might need to be done? How has she survived this long with this basic inability to plan ahead?

And why is she asking for help from strangers? Why isn’t she asking family or friends? I have a suspicion she already has asked them before and they are tired of rescuing her.

I know that as Christians we are not supposed to question those who ask for help. We are not supposed to judge their worthiness. But there has to be some accountability going on. Otherwise we should all quit our jobs and start begging. Wait – that won’t work. Then who would give us money if they too didn’t have a job?

I remember seeing a guy on the side of the road with a sign saying that he needed a new roof. When I needed a new roof I got a second mortgage. I had asked my family if I could get a loan from them, having never asked before, and I got quickly turned down. So I had to figure out another way. Standing on the side of the road with a cardboard sign never occurred to me as something that was OK. It still doesn’t seem OK.

At what point is helping someone not helping at all? At what point is helping someone just encouraging them to keep needing help?

I’m reminded of the phrase –“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and he can feed himself for the rest of his life.”

At what point do we have to show “tough love” and make people have to be responsible for their own lives?