Dustin Hoffman said that when he was filming “Tootsie” he wanted to be made up into a really beautiful woman. The makeup artists told him that they did the best they could, but it wasn’t possible for them to make him more attractive. He thought that was a shame. He wanted to be really beautiful, because if he looked at a woman who looked like he looked, he would never take the time to talk to her.

And then he got it.

He’d been taught this, by society, by marketing. He’d been taught that only beautiful women were worth his attention and time. He’d been taught that beauty is all that matters. And then he felt really sad, to think about all the amazing women he didn’t get to know over the course of his life because they weren’t beautiful in his eyes.

Many women are taught this same way of thinking. We are taught that who we are isn’t worth anything – that only our looks matter. We are taught this by our parents, by our boyfriends, by the magazines and books that are marketed to us, and by the shows we watch. We are bombarded with overt and covert messages that say we only matter if we are beautiful, and our only focus in life should be on being attractive.

We are taught in so many ways that we are only worthy in relation to other people – if we can attract someone else, then we have value. Not before. Not on our own. Our value is inextricably linked with other people’s perceptions of us.

When an older woman starts showing the signs of age, she is seen as ugly and tired. When an older man looks the same, he is seen as distinguished. Women in politics are judged more for their hairstyles and clothing choices than their policies or decisions.

But this isn’t just about women. This isn’t just a female plight. This is just the tip of the iceberg.

How many people have we not gotten to know because they were not what we were looking for? Too old. Too unattractive. Too unfriendly. Disabled. Discredited. How many people have we walked by or ignored because they were ugly, smelly, rude, strange?

We have to start seeing everyone as the child of God that they are. We have to start seeing everyone as if they are Jesus in disguise. We have to start seeing everyone as God sees them.

Forgiven. Beautiful. Worthy. Loved.

Look for the light within each person, and don’t get distracted by the packaging. The more we give time to people, the more they open up. The more we seek, the more we will find.

This is how we will have true peace on Earth – when every person is truly seen and heard. When every person is noticed and appreciated. When every person is cherished as the beautiful and amazingly special individual that she or he is.