There is a lady at my workplace who seems really antisocial. Maybe she is just shy. She stutters a little, so maybe she is afraid to talk.

I know very little about her, even though I have worked with her for 13 years. She likes football. I’ve heard she used to be a nurse. She has never been married. This isn’t much for all these years of working together.

I used to say hello to her when I saw her in the morning. If she replied at all it was a grunt. More often she would turn her eyes away from me and not even look at me. She would never initiate a “hello” or a “good morning.” This isn’t personal. She does this to everyone. She does this to her boss. Fortunately her job does not require interacting with the public.

I started to think about this. Maybe she doesn’t like to say good morning. Perhaps I am expecting too much. So I thought about it more. Perhaps she doesn’t see the value of social pleasantries.

It sure makes things awkward.

When she does talk it is to complain. She will suddenly speak up and say “I don’t mean to complain, but…” and then will launch into a complaint. This is the most common phrase I’ve heard from her. This isn’t a great thing to be known for – complaining, and not being friendly. Kinda makes me think about the stories in the news, you know, the ones where they say the killer was quiet and kept to himself.

Maybe she has a learning disability, and interacting with people is hard. Maybe she is embarrassed of her stutter and has decided it is easier to not talk at all. Maybe I’m making up a story so that I feel better.

I want to have a better relationship with her, but then again, I don’t want to. Sometimes I think I don’t want to go to the effort of making it work. It takes two to make a relationship after all.

Then I think maybe I’m trying to make her into my own image. I’m expecting her to be like me. I’m not letting her be her. Maybe being quiet and aloof is how she wants to be and I need to adapt to it.

Apparently I already have. I’ve not pushed it. It has been many years.

It still feels weird.