A study of suffering, and a call to love it.

Something I’ve gleaned from reading Buddhist texts is that the way to move past suffering is to study it. Don’t avoid it. Go to the source of it and really dig down. Ask yourself “Why do I feel this way? Where does this feeling come from?” Find the source and root it out. This is opposite how the Western world thinks. We are more into the idea of not talking about it and it will go away. Sometimes we think we’ll be better off if we deal with it another day – and we think that every day. In that way you never make time to work on the problem so it just keeps getting bigger.

The idea of reincarnation that is offered to us in Hinduism tells us that if you don’t fix it you will live it again. Every new lifetime is the sum of all the past lifetimes. If you live selfishly you will not have a very good rebirth. Another way of thinking that they offer us is an aspect of the Divine called Ganesh. He has the head of an elephant. He is known as the remover of obstacles. He doesn’t walk around the problem – he goes right through it. By going right through it, he makes it possible to have a better rebirth. We are to follow his example and not avoid problems.

What if your next life is really tomorrow? What if instead of focusing on an afterlife, we use these ideas to work on the current one we have? Heaven isn’t a proven thing. But this life is – so it seems useful to try to make the best of it here. We are told that those who don’t study history are condemned to repeat it. Why not study your own history to see if there are any trends that keep popping up that aren’t helpful?

This is totally not the Western way. It also seems counterintuitive to turn into our own pain and our own problems. It seems like human nature to turn away from pain and seek pleasure. But what if the turning away ends up creating even more pain in the future? Scientists have shown that all the foods we crave when we are depressed actually make us more depressed. To get out of that rut we have to fight against part of our hard-wiring. Instead of reaching for potatoes and macaroni and cheese when we are down, we are better off if we go for a walk and eat an apple.

Jesus said to love your enemies. What if that also meant to love what is dark about yourself? Look at what you turn away from. Study it. Go into this with the knowledge that you are loved and forgiven – you are not alone. Whatever you find there in those dark spots may be scary at first, but if you stay with that feeling and really study what you find there you’ll find it isn’t as bad as you thought. Ignorance isn’t bliss. The more you do this the easier it gets. It creates its own energy. It is like cleaning house, but for your soul.

One great way to study these dark places is to journal. Julia Cameron talked about the idea of “morning pages” in her book “The Artist’s Way.” She says that you should write three pages every morning, without fail. Write about anything. Write about how much you hate to write. Write about what you see jumbled around you in your bedroom. Write about what you hope the day will be like. But just write, and write three pages. This exercise really shakes things loose and gets things started.

Writing a few pages every day is one of the most helpful ways to really dig into things. It is also a great way to see trends. If you are constantly writing that it is time to start that project, then you will notice that you need to put a little more energy into it. If you are constantly writing that your friend is always lying and stealing from you then it is time to find a new friend. Journaling is a good way to unwind and a great way to plan ahead. It is good for stress reduction and stress prevention.

Another way to work on problems is to doodle. “Praying in Color” by Sybil MacBeth introduces the idea that you can pray while drawing. Praying is a way of connecting with Truth. Praying is a way of understanding things in a deeper way. It is a way of getting outside of your own head and connecting with something a lot bigger. Praying is about digging deeper.

MacBeth says that you don’t have to be an artist at all to do this. You can take colored pencils or markers and just start making marks on the paper. There doesn’t have to be a plan for it. In fact, it is better if there is no plan. This isn’t about what you draw, but about what goes on in your head while you draw. The lines are not a map so much as the vehicle itself. Just think about the issue. Hold it in your head. And start drawing. Doodle around. Let the lines go where they will. Pick up another color if feel like it. See where the lines and your thoughts go. If you notice that you are going off from the subject, gently draw yourself back. One helpful thing is to write the intention in the center of the page and doodle around it. Something will come to you that will help you.

Walking is helpful too. I’ve learned that often things sort themselves out while I’m walking. This has to be walking that has no other distractions. Listening to an iPod is a distraction. I’m starting to think that reading fiction or watching movies all the time is also a distraction. It feels like they are ways to avoid dealing with what is here right now.

Nothing solves itself instantly. There are very few sudden insights to be found where the problem is instantly solved. But this is more like water working on a stone. The problem has grown over the years due to inattention. It will take a while to dislodge. But the more you work on it, gently, consistently, the more it will get smaller and more manageable. It is worth the effort.

Permission slip

There are several things that I’ve done over the years simply because someone has shown me that I can do it. Either I thought I needed permission to do it, or I needed to know that it was something that a person could do on her own. I think there are a lot of things like that. I want to let you know that you have within you the ability and power to do a lot more than you think you can.

One thing that I do is cut my own hair. I learned that I could do this from one of my brother’s former wives. Julie had been a hairstylist and she had a cute new hairstyle one day. I commented on how good it looked and she said that she did it herself. This was an entirely foreign idea to me. You could cut your own hair? You didn’t have to go to a hairstylist? I’d never liked getting my hair cut anyway. I don’t like that weird backwards-washing-of-the-hair part. It always hurts the back of my neck and I feel trapped. I don’t really like all the small talk they expect. It also costs a lot of money, and then you are expected to tip. Added on to all of that, I have a cowlick they never seem to know what to do with.

There were a lot of good reasons to try cutting my own hair. I started cutting my own hair in college. It looked terrible at first, but fortunately weird hair is normal in college. Plus, hats look really good on me. Practice makes perfect, and now I can cut my own hair in about 5 minutes. The fact that one person told me I could do this has made my life easier and saved me a lot of money and time.

Another instance was with a friend who had a healing salve. I asked her to make some for me and she looked at me kindly and said that I could do it myself. She did me a favor by not making it for me. By encouraging me to make it myself I unlocked a hidden ability. I researched different herbs for healing. I went to a health-food store and bought the dried herbs and oils. I made my first batch with calendula, comfrey, yarrow, and hyssop. The next thing I know, I’m growing the herbs myself to make my own from scratch. It works perfectly for cuts and burns and bruises.

I’m coming to realize that the same situation is true with religion and faith. I’m becoming wary of a top-down hierarchy where everything is done for you. I’m leaning into the idea that God wants each of us to take on the task of helping and healing, and that it is a lot easier than we think. One way I’m working on this idea is through the use of anointing oils.

I got the idea of using anointing oil from two different sources. One was a lady in a religion class I took who brought some anointing oil to one of the classes and anointed everybody who wanted it. She would put a small dot on our foreheads or in our palms and say words to remind us that we are children of God. I had also read a book by Sara Miles, most likely the one titled “Jesus Freak”. She mentioned that in the food bank she works in she would go with anointing oils and anoint the hands of the workers. She wanted to remind them that their hands were a blessing to everyone that they served. With their hands they helped feed people both body and soul. Neither of these women were ordained. This inspired me. If they could do it, why couldn’t I?

I bought a small vial of anointing oil at a Catholic bookstore. It wasn’t in a special place that you needed any special credentials to buy. You didn’t have to prove you were ordained to use it. It came with a pamphlet on sample words to use when you anointed someone and how to consecrate it. I read all the preliminary set-up to see how to get started. I wanted to see if I could read between the lines and see if it could be consecrated by anybody. I felt like I needed permission. I didn’t want to do it wrong or do it in a disrespectful manner.

I had figured that a priest had to do it, but then there would be some explaining. If I took it to my priest to consecrate, I’d have to explain why I wanted it. I would have to explain why I felt that it was OK for me to go out and anoint people who needed healing. So, following my usual method of operation I read the pamphlet carefully. These lines stood out to me as permission to do this myself. “Those Christian brothers and sisters laboring for the cause of Jesus Christ, standing in His stead, performing His work on earth, should consecrate it and set it apart for its holy purposes.” I’m Christian, check. The description ncludes sisters, so it isn’t just for priests. Check. Desire to use it for holy purposes – check. Good to go. I felt like I was reading between the lines to make sure that I wasn’t doing anything in a disrespectful manner. I felt like I’m using the rules to break the rules.

Then I went to a lecture by Becca Stevens, who is an Episcopal priest but doesn’t wear her collar or go by the term Reverend very much. She was talking about her new book “Snake Oil” and selling healing oils that are made through her nonprofit ministry called Thistle Farms. She concluded her speech with the idea that it seems crazy to think you can heal the world with love, but why not give it a try? It can’t hurt. She had healing oils for sale and encouraged us to use them. We aren’t special, right? We aren’t ordained. But maybe, just maybe, because she was telling us to go out and use them, maybe we were OK. Maybe we were just given permission. Maybe we were just empowered.

What I want to let you know is that you have within you right now the ability to heal. You don’t need certification and you don’t need special permission. You have it by virtue of the fact that you are a human being and a child of God.

How do you heal? Look people in the eye. Remember their names. Smile at them. Offer to carry heavy things. Hold open a door. Every time that you remember that you are part of a community and you take time to help another person, you have helped to heal the world. Every time you remember that each person is a child of God and you treat them with love, you have helped bring this world a little closer to the Kingdom of Heaven.

I don’t know why we often assume that only ordained people have this power. In the Christian faith, we are told that if we are baptized, we are ministers. We are empowered by the Holy Spirit to be a part of the healing of the world. Jesus gave power to his disciples to cast out demons. In Matthew 10:1 we learn that “Jesus called his twelve disciples to him and gave them authority to drive out impure spirits and to heal every disease and sickness.” (NIV) That power isn’t just for them. It is for all who believe in Jesus as the Son of God. I’m also going to go so far as to say it is for everybody, not just those who believe in Jesus. Go. Heal. Be nice. Show love. It may sound crazy that we can change the world by showing love, but it can’t hurt to try.

Get off the guilt ride.

Sometimes going to church feels like one big AA meeting. “Hi, my name is Betsy, and I’m a sinner.” Every week we have a confession of sin. One of the prayers from the Book of Common Prayer is “Most merciful God, we confess that we have sinned against you in thought, word, and deed, by what we have done and by what we have left undone. We have not loved you with our whole heart. We have not loved our neighbors as ourselves…” The sad part is that I just wrote that out from memory. I can be having a pretty awesome week and there I am again on my knees saying that I am a sinner.

It softens the blow a little to say “we” so we aren’t just confessing our own faults but those of everybody. I’d said those words for years, but it was reading a book written by the Rev. Barbara Brown Taylor that opened my eyes to that point. Maybe it is kind of like Job. He did all the offerings to pay for his own sins, and then did some extra to pay for those of his children just in case.

But then it just gets into the whole nature of sin. Sin is sometimes defined as “missing the mark.” When you aim an arrow you intend it to go a certain place. If it falls short, it has missed the mark. The same is true of intentions. If you mean to do well but you don’t try hard enough, your effort falls short. Remember “the road to hell is paved with good intentions”? That. You meant well, but you just didn’t give it enough gas, so you didn’t get where you meant to. You meant to take food to that friend who was sick. You meant to volunteer in the school. You meant to donate money to the battered women’s shelter. You meant to be nicer to your coworkers. And you never found the time, and things got away from you.

How much of that is us living in a passive way? How much of that is us thinking that life happens to us, rather than us intentionally living our lives? And how much of that is simply human nature? Is that “sin” or is it just part of the baggage?

I remember talking with a friend who had converted from Christianity to Judaism. From what I understood, his biggest issue with the idea of Jesus being the atonement for sins was that we humans are by nature not perfect. We can’t be perfect. So why do we need someone to pay for our sins? He didn’t feel that Jesus’ sacrifice was necessary at all.

I have to admit that sometimes I think like this too. I’m more about Jesus’ life than his death. I see him as a great role model. He is a champion for the underdog. He showed love to everyone. He was all about telling other people that they had within them the same ability to love and heal. He didn’t just heal all on his own – he made sure that his disciples had the gift of the Holy Spirit within them to do the same. Thus, by extension, all Christians have the same ability.

Healing isn’t just mending a broken leg. It is also about mending relationships. It is about building bridges between people of different backgrounds and between people and God. Healing is about making whole. It is about making the hurt go away. I think there is healing that comes from letting people know that it is OK to make mistakes and that they are normal.

We try to do well, and we fail, and we try again. This is part of the journey. We can never be perfect like Jesus was. We can never ever get there – it just isn’t possible. So why do we constantly beat ourselves up for something that we can’t do? And why do we think that it is helpful to focus on our sins every week?

We are told in the 1 John 1:8 “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” But we are also told in 2 Corinthians 5:17 ” Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” So what is it? In which way are we deceiving ourselves? Are we deceiving ourselves that we are without sin, or are we deceiving ourselves that we still have sin after Jesus paid for them? If we are a new creation and our sins are forgiven, how does it help to beat ourselves up over it? If we can never be perfect because of our human nature, then why do we confess our imperfectness every week? Why are we beaten up for something that can never be fixed? And are we even broken to start with?

Yes, it is good to be reminded of the fact that Jesus lets us know that we are forgiven. It is good to know that everything we did and everything we are going to do has been paid for. It is good to be mindful of our behavior and to constantly try to do better. But it is also good to be mindful of the fact that we can’t ever hit the mark. We will be shooting that arrow every day until we die and we still won’t get it right. We can try to get it closer, but we will never win the prize. It is like playing a game of skill at the county fair. The machine is fixed. You’ll never win the fluffy gorilla. So maybe it is time to stop playing the game.

God and grocery lists

How do you talk to your spouse? Before you were married, it was probably normal to write messages like “Hey, I miss you! I look forward to seeing you tonight!” After you got married, how often do you say the same thing? Do the majority of your messages consist of grocery lists now? “Hey, can you pick up milk on the way home? And don’t forget to check the air pressure in the tires.”

How many of us talk to God in the same way? “Hey, God, I’d like a new job and a car that runs. Oh, and while you are at it, world peace.” How often do we see God like this? Even if all the things are not self-centered, this still seems to be a limited way to view God.

This is our Creator. Who are we to order God around? Who are we to see God as a short-order chef or a servant? In the book of Isaiah we are told that God is the potter and we are the clay. Does the clay dictate to the maker what it should happen to it?

It is that sense of trust that is the goal. It is so hard to be that clay. It is so hard to relax fully into the experiences of life and trust that everything is going the way it should. Our perspective is very small. We can’t see it all. In many ways I think that is a blessing. I don’t want to see it all. What I can see I’m not very good at taking care of. I don’t have pets or plants for that very reason. So I like the idea that I’m not in control. I like the idea that I’m not driving the bus. So much for “Jesus is my copilot.” Drop the sense of control entirely and let Jesus take over.

I suspect this is part of what people who aren’t Christian see as being wrong about the faith. They look at the idea of having an “imaginary friend” being in control as the same as being a zombie. There must be some voodoo that the minister does that makes all the believers like sheep, like followers, rather than active participants.

Yes, we are sheep, but we have chosen to be this way. It isn’t something that any minister has done to us. It is something that we have chosen. Now, if I intentionally give over my power to someone who I recognize is more powerful, isn’t there a paradox? It wasn’t taken from me. I gave it away in that whole “free will” thing. And yet I’m still me. I’m still the same person. I’m an active participant in creation. I choose to yield to my Higher Power to use AA talk.

I used to fight against God. I used to not trust where God was leading me. I’m still not very good at praying about my actions before I do them. I have a suspicion that part of it is that talking about God isn’t really something that is done in the Episcopal Church. Oh, sure, we read from the Bible. We sing hymns saying how great God is. We have pre-written prayers for almost every occasion. But actual, unscripted God-talk? That is totally awkward. Telling people about how God has shaped your life isn’t really an Episcopalian kind of thing to do. It is more Pentecostal than high-Protestant.

But God is real, and God does move in our lives. Sometimes it is painfully obvious. Sometimes it is really hard to see unless you journal and start to notice a pattern. Sometimes the only way to see it is to make a regular habit of praying and being thankful.

I like the Jewish concept of giving thanks before everything. Note the direction here. Thanks before – not after. This is like writing a thank-you note for your birthday present before it is even bought and put in the mail to you. But when you give thanks for something before you get it, you are then in a position to actually receive it. The idea of giving thanks before meals was explained like this – if you do this, you are proving that you aren’t an animal. Only animals snarf up their food as soon as they can see it. They greedily devour it and pay no attention to where it came from. Part of being a human is trying to rise above our animal natures. We want to think we are better than that. We want to think we have self-control .

But we humans don’t have self-control. We have the illusion of it. We think we are in charge of our lives. We don’t even have control over our own bodies. The smallest hunger pang makes us rush for a meal. When we go to a buffet we eat three plates instead of one. “I couldn’t help myself” is our battle cry for self-pity. So even those who think they are independent really aren’t.

I’d rather be honest about the fact that I’m not in control. Then I want to try to be thankful all the time that I’m not in control. Then I want to work towards harmonizing my desires with God’s desires. When we pray the Lord’s prayer, we say “Thy will be done,” not “my will be done.” I remember a prayer a long time ago that went like this – “I will to will Thy will.” The idea is that instead of getting what I want, I want what I get. This may seem very passive, but it is actually very freeing. It gives up the desire to control outcomes. It gives us new eyes to appreciate what is actually there.

Now, about that world peace…

Palm Sunday “Crucify him!”

Holy Week is the busiest season in the church year. In the week before Easter you can really get into the highs and lows of this pivotal time in Christ’s life. Participating helps you understand His sacrifice and love in a way you just can’t get by just reading the Gospels.

Something I liked about the Episcopal church is that it is participatory. Even on a regular Sunday you are engaged in the worship experience. I believe this is a warm up for the rest of the week. One of the dismissals said by the deacon or priest at the end of the service is “Let us go forth into the world rejoicing in the power of the Spirit.” Another is “Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.” This isn’t just to let you know it is time to go eat doughnuts
and drink coffee. This is a call to action. Go forth. Tell other people that God is real, that He loves us. And then put that love into action.

Part of understanding that sacrifice and love is to be found in Holy Week. It starts the week before Easter on Palm Sunday. Normally the Gospel is read by the deacon or priest. On this Sunday it is read by the congregation. Everybody has a part. There are large parts and small parts but all are important. The hardest line is this –
“Crucify him!” We all say that. This is our savior, our Lord we are talking about. This is us condemning Jesus to death. This is us choosing Barabbas, a murderer, over Jesus, whose only crime was to heal and raise people from the dead. With these words we choose death over life.

How often do we do this? How often do we choose the murderer over the savior? How often do we choose to go with the crowd rather than listen to that “still small voice” that Elijah heard in the midst of the storm? Every time we choose the ways of the world over the ways of God we are choosing death over life. Every time we do this we are rejecting the sacrifice and the love of God.

How do we do this? Every time we talk about someone behind their back we are bearing false witness. Every time we talk down to someone we are not loving them as ourselves. Every time we rely on our own abilities rather than trusting God we are not showing God the love He deserves.

I once read an interesting story in a book called “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan. He told a story about his grandmother and how she wouldn’t go to see popular movies. She was concerned that Jesus might come while she was there and catch her wasting time. Now, I’m not saying that you can’t watch a Godzilla film. But I am saying that it is a good idea to be mindful of your time. This life has no reset button. These bodies are limited and fragile. How you spend your days is how you spend your life. Are you spending them mindfully or mindlessly? How much time do you spend building up the kingdom?

I admit that I’m not very good at it. Sometimes I don’t know how to be helpful. Sometimes I’m very selfish and I don’t want to donate my money or time. And then sometimes I remember that it isn’t my money. It isn’t my time. Every moment I have is a gift from God. My ability to work is also a gift. When I see it that way I feel pretty bad about how stingy I can be.

Then I remember that even my stinginess is forgiven. My petty hoarding of “my” money and “my” time is forgiven. And I could stop right there and bask in that amazing, unwarranted, eternal gift, but I think that more is expected of me. I think that more is expected of us. I think we are called to make Christ visible. We are to take that gift and pay it forward.

The Greeks have a belief that it is good to entertain strangers with sweet desserts. They follow the idea that they might be entertaining angels unawares. What if we saw everybody that way? What if we saw everybody as the child of God that they are? Then we would truly be following the commandments to show love.

You keep using that word “Christian”. I do not think it means what you think it means.

I didn’t want to be Christian. Who would? Everybody that I saw who said they were Christian were jerks. They are rude, self-centered, self-assured. Sometimes they seem like zombies – they just do what they are told by their pastor. They all dress the same and talk the same. They get all twirly-eyed when they talk about their “Savior and Lord”. And worst of all – they read “safe” books and listen to “family-friendly” music.

Even now that I am a Christian, it is kind of embarrassing to admit that I am a follower of Jesus, because there are so many other people who wear the same badge who are flat out rude or crazy. Why would I want to be associated with them?

I don’t, really. I want to follow Jesus. I don’t follow the followers. When I read the New Testament, I’m careful to make sure who said what. The apostle Paul said a lot of really amazing things that help build up the early church, but he also said some pretty judgmental things about anybody who wasn’t a straight male. According to his letters, if you were female, you’d better be quiet in church and subservient to your husband. If you were gay, well, forget it. Pretty much, he excluded anybody who wasn’t him – and that seems to be the trend today. “If you don’t do things my way, you are doing it wrong”, seems to be the way a lot of Christians think.

But Jesus didn’t say anything like that. Jesus said a whole lot about loving (he was for it) and a whole lot about judging (he was against it).

Before I became a Christian, I’d read a lot of books about other faiths. I’d learned a lot about Buddhism, and Sikhism, and Taoism. If it was a world religion, I was there. But then I thought that I was not being fair. If I’m going to give equal time to all these other ways of understanding The Big Questions, then I need to see who this Jesus guy is and what he says.

I decided to give the Episcopal Church a try. My parents had raised me as an Episcopalian but they quit going when I was very young. The service was familiar, if a little confusing. Turns out I’d picked up the service bulletin for the week before in my desire to get there early and settled in. So I had the wrong readings, and the hymns were off, but the rest of the service was straight from the Book of Common Prayer and that was familiar enough. After the service I cornered a priest with this statement – “Buddha is awesome, Gandhi is with the program, and Lao-Tsu also has it figured out.” This was a make-it-or-break-it moment right here. I knew I’d found truth in their teachings. If he dismissed them, then I knew I was done with this foray. So he surprised me. He said “Cool!” with a huge smile. OK, now we were talking. He wasn’t part of a church that acted like it had a monopoly on the Divine.

I then decided to read the Bible. Well, let’s be honest. Very few people can wade through the entire Bible. There are a lot of “begats” that slow most folks down. And there is all that interior decorating micromanagement going on with building the first Temple. So I skipped to the Gospels.

The more I read of the Gospels, the more I wanted to quote from the movie Princess Bride to the folks who said they were Christians but didn’t act like it. “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” They kept saying Jesus, but turning it into a dirty word. Their Jesus was hateful and judgmental. Their Jesus was all about getting a ticket to heaven and you were done. Their Jesus was closed-minded and thoughtless. This wasn’t the Jesus I was discovering. The Jesus I was discovering was about love, and more importantly, showing love through service to others.

What would Jesus do? I’d think he’d be totally down with the idea of having friends from all different religions. And I don’t mean having friends just so he can try to convert them. I think he’d learn how to say “thank you” in a bunch of different languages. I think he’d volunteer at a food bank. I think he’d carry around extra bottles of water so he could give them out to folks he saw. I think he’d encourage people and raise them up.

I think being a Christian is about service. It is about living the life of Jesus. It is about taking up the yoke. Sometimes people need a sandwich, not a sermon. I think “being Christian” means to be Christ in this world – to take up where he left off. Saint Theresa of Avila tells us “Christ has no body now on earth but yours.” Go forth. Be Jesus, and be the nice one. Be the one that heals and feeds and clothes.

(I have now turned off comments for this post, and updated my comment policy in my About section.)

The Prayer to Our Father

This is from http://www.thenazareneway.com/lords_prayer.htm
These three new translations of The Lord’s Prayer give a whole new insight into the meaning.

The Prayer To Our Father
(in the original Aramaic)

Abwûn
“Oh Thou, from whom the breath of life comes,

d’bwaschmâja
who fills all realms of sound, light and vibration.

Nethkâdasch schmach
May Your light be experienced in my utmost holiest.

Têtê malkuthach.
Your Heavenly Domain approaches.

Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d’bwaschmâja af b’arha.
Let Your will come true – in the universe (all that vibrates)
just as on earth (that is material and dense).

Hawvlân lachma d’sûnkanân jaomâna.
Give us wisdom (understanding, assistance) for our daily need,

Waschboklân chaubên wachtahên aikâna
daf chnân schwoken l’chaijabên.
detach the fetters of faults that bind us, (karma)
like we let go the guilt of others.

Wela tachlân l’nesjuna
Let us not be lost in superficial things (materialism, common temptations),

ela patzân min bischa.
but let us be freed from that what keeps us off from our true purpose.

Metol dilachie malkutha wahaila wateschbuchta l’ahlâm almîn.
From You comes the all-working will, the lively strength to act,
the song that beautifies all and renews itself from age to age.

Amên.
Sealed in trust, faith and truth.
(I confirm with my entire being)

________________________________________
Lord’s Prayer, from the original Aramaic
Translation by Neil Douglas-Klotz in Prayers of the Cosmos

O Birther! Father- Mother of the Cosmos
Focus your light within us – make it useful.
Create your reign of unity now-
through our fiery hearts and willing hands
Help us love beyond our ideals
and sprout acts of compassion for all creatures.
Animate the earth within us: we then
feel the Wisdom underneath supporting all.
Untangle the knots within
so that we can mend our hearts’ simple ties to each other.
Don’t let surface things delude us,
But free us from what holds us back from our true purpose.
Out of you, the astonishing fire,
Returning light and sound to the cosmos.
Amen.

________________________________________
Lords Prayer, from Aramaic into Old English
Translation by G.J.R. Ouseley from The Gospel of the Holy Twelve

Our Father-Mother Who art above and within:
Hallowed be Thy Name in twofold Trinity.
In Wisdom, Love and Equity Thy Kingdom come to all.
Thy will be done, As in Heaven so in Earth.
Give us day by day to partake of Thy holy Bread, and the fruit of the living Vine.
As Thou dost forgive us our trespasses, so may we forgive others who trespass against us.
Shew upon us Thy goodness, that to others we may shew the same.
In the hour of temptation, deliver us from evil.
Amun.

From http://www.thenazareneway.com/lords_prayer.htm

Prayers and stories I like

All of these prayers/poems/stories are helpful and useful. They are from many sources.

The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
~ Rumi ~

(The Essential Rumi, versions by Coleman Barks)

Rules for being Human
1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it’s yours to keep for the entire period.

2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, “life.”

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The “failed” experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately “work.”

4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end. There’s no part of life that doesn’t contain its lessons. If you’re alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.

6. “There” is no better a place than “here.” When your “there” has become a “here”, you will simply obtain another “there” that will again look better than “here.”

7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life’s questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

10. You will forget all this.

(I first read this half my life ago. It was on a copied piece of paper, posted on the fridge in a stranger’s house in the Washington DC area. Then I saw it again years later at a jewelry show in a dorm in Chattanooga. This has been attributed to many people.)

Here is an ancient Chinese story to illustrate an important point:

A Chinese gentleman lived on the border of China and Mongolia. In those days, there was constant conflict and strife along the perimeter. The man had a beautiful horse. One day, she leaped over the corral, raced down the road, crossed the border, and was captured by the Mongolians. His friends came to comfort him. “That’s bad news,” they said sadly. “What makes you think it’s bad news?” asked the Chinese gentleman. “Maybe it’s good news.” A few days later the mare came bolting into his corral, bringing with it a massive stallion. His friends crowded around. “That’s good news!” they cried. “What makes you think it’s good news?” he asked. “Maybe it is bad news.” Later, his son, while riding the stallion and trying to break it, was thrown off and broke his leg. “That’s bad news,” cried the friends. “What makes you think it is bad news?” asked the Chinese gentleman. “Maybe it’s good news.” One week later, war broke out with Mongolia, and a Chinese general came through, drafting all the young men. All later perished, except for the young man who couldn’t go because his leg was broken. The man said to his friends, “You see, the things you thought were bad turned out good; and the things you thought were good turned out bad.

The Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.

The Prayer of St. Theresa of Avila
Christ has no body but yours,
No hands, no feet on earth but yours,
Yours are the eyes with which he looks
Compassion on this world,
Yours are the feet with which he walks to do good,
Yours are the hands, with which he blesses all the world.
Yours are the hands, yours are the feet,
Yours are the eyes, you are his body.
Christ has no body now but yours,
No hands, no feet on earth but yours,
Yours are the eyes with which he looks
compassion on this world.
Christ has no body now on earth but yours.

Saint Patrick’s Breastplate
I bind unto myself today
The strong Name of the Trinity,
By invocation of the same,
The Three in One and One in Three.
I bind this day to me for ever.
By power of faith, Christ’s incarnation;
His baptism in the Jordan river;
His death on Cross for my salvation;
His bursting from the spicèd tomb;
His riding up the heavenly way;
His coming at the day of doom;*
I bind unto myself today.
I bind unto myself the power
Of the great love of the cherubim;
The sweet ‘well done’ in judgment hour,
The service of the seraphim,
Confessors’ faith, Apostles’ word,
The Patriarchs’ prayers, the Prophets’ scrolls,
All good deeds done unto the Lord,
And purity of virgin souls.
I bind unto myself today
The virtues of the starlit heaven,
The glorious sun’s life-giving ray,
The whiteness of the moon at even,
The flashing of the lightning free,
The whirling wind’s tempestuous shocks,
The stable earth, the deep salt sea,
Around the old eternal rocks.
I bind unto myself today
The power of God to hold and lead,
His eye to watch, His might to stay,
His ear to hearken to my need.
The wisdom of my God to teach,
His hand to guide, His shield to ward,
The word of God to give me speech,
His heavenly host to be my guard.
Against the demon snares of sin,
The vice that gives temptation force,
The natural lusts that war within,
The hostile men that mar my course;
Or few or many, far or nigh,
In every place and in all hours,
Against their fierce hostility,
I bind to me these holy powers.
Against all Satan’s spells and wiles,
Against false words of heresy,
Against the knowledge that defiles,
Against the heart’s idolatry,
Against the wizard’s evil craft,
Against the death wound and the burning,
The choking wave and the poisoned shaft,
Protect me, Christ, till Thy returning.
Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.
I bind unto myself the Name,
The strong Name of the Trinity;
By invocation of the same.
The Three in One, and One in Three,
Of Whom all nature hath creation,
Eternal Father, Spirit, Word:
Praise to the Lord of my salvation,
Salvation is of Christ the Lord.

Barefoot on Holy Ground

Many religions have a tradition of taking off their shoes when they enter holy places. Muslims do it. The Buddhists and the Sikhs do it. Jews and Christians have a history of it, but they rarely do it anymore. Exodus 3:5 states “Do not come any closer,” God said. “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.” (NIV) when Moses was stopped by the burning bush. Why isn’t it done today? I think that it is a valuable way to remind ourselves that we are standing on holy ground.

Whenever I approach the altar at church, I pause and bow. I know that all of church is sacred and blessed, but I also feel that some areas are more so. This table isn’t like the table I eat breakfast from. This is a table of sacrifice. This table is like the rock that Abraham was about to sacrifice his son Isaac on. This table is like the altar at the Temple in Jerusalem over 2000 years ago. This table represents the table at the Last Supper when Jesus taught his disciples a way to remember him and his sacrifice.

The altar, this table, this meeting place of Heaven and Earth, is different and sacred. It is set apart. Yet we are welcome to approach it and serve at it. All we have as a gesture to acknowledge this difference is a bow. We bow to remind ourselves of this sacrifice. Yet why don’t we take off our shoes? Surely some of it is cultural. Feet are considered dirty. Dirt is the opposite of sacred. We don’t want to mix those things up. But let’s think about this. If we wear our shoes outside, then take them off when we get inside a holy place, then we are taking off the dirt. Our feet, having been in our shoes, are clean.

Perhaps we don’t take our shoes off because it is seen as too casual. We want to remind ourselves to be proper when we are with our Creator. We wear nice clothes. We speak in hushed voices. Sometimes we cover our heads in reverence. “Barefoot” often equals “relaxed” – and we want to be awake and mindful when we are worshipping. Yet Christians are told to be like children when we approach God. What is more child-like then going barefoot? What is more innocent?

I went to Holy Cross Episcopal Church on December 9th, 2012 to lead a prayer-bracelet workshop. I attended the Communion service and was startled to see the priest, fully robed up in cassock and alb and chasuble, standing there barefoot as she read the Gospel. Then I noticed that her chalice bearer was also barefoot. During the Passing of the Peace I managed to get to the chalice bearer and ask if it was OK if I took off my shoes as well and she enthusiastically encouraged me to. I asked my husband if it was OK with him as well. It was something I wanted to do, but I wanted to make sure that it wouldn’t make anyone uncomfortable or feel weird. Once cleared – the shoes and socks came off, and I tucked them under my chair. I went up to take Communion barefoot. It felt freeing, and weird, and special. The concrete floor was cold. I felt that people were looking at me. I had a real sense of difference – this time of going up to the altar was not the same as all the other times.

I think this is good. I think it is important to find ways to make this very simple, repeated experience more meaningful. There is a chance of not paying attention to something if you do it all the time. There is a chance of not taking it seriously. Approaching the altar is already a very physical experience. In some denominations, communion comes to you. You sit in your pew, and a round metal tray with a hundred or so single-serving cups of grape juice get passed by you, along with a tray of small square bits of dry “bread”. To me, it is a very impersonal experience. I appreciate the value of getting up from where I’m sitting and going to take communion. It means it is something I choose to do. It is something that I actively seek and desire. By approaching the altar I feel that I’m moving closer to Christ.

Meaningful that this symbol is, it means more when I can do it barefoot. But I don’t want to offend people. I don’t want to freak them out. I don’t want to call attention to myself. So when I’m not serving at church as a chalice bearer or an acolyte, I have taken to wearing clogs. I slip off my shoes during the service and stand on the bare wooden floor. The sensation reminds me that I am in a different place. This is holy ground. This isn’t just something I do on Sunday morning. This is a conscious choice to be here, to be part of this Body, to be a living member.

There is a desire in many sanctuaries to awaken the senses to the specialness of God. This is part of what we mean when we say “corporate” worship. We use the body, with all its senses, to be reminded of God’s love for us. This is why some sanctuaries are heavily ornamented. The stained glass and the tapestries and the icons are reminders to our eyes that something different is going on here. They are a reminder that God is here among us. The incense calls to us as well, awakening our sense of smell. When we go into a friend’s house, we may smell supper cooking. We know that we are about to get a really nice meal. We know that we have been expected and prepared for. In the same way, God expects us and prepares for us, and welcomes us. I think it is also important for us to welcome and prepare for God. The Lakota leader Black Elk tells us that “The holy land is everywhere”. It isn’t just in a church or a temple or a mosque.

The Rev. Carolyn A. Coleman, Vicar of Holy Cross Episcopal Church in Murfreesboro says “ I go without shoes because God told Moses to take off his shoes when he was on the holy ground before the burning bush. The burning bush and the ground out of which it grows is holy because God created it, but more, the ground of suffering to which God called Moses to bring God’s people salvation was holy. That was the ground I believe God was talking about. So in the midst of community gathered, I take off my shoes because all our suffering as well as our joys and celebrations make for holy ground.”

One way I remind myself of this idea is to paint my toenails vibrant colors. When I’m taking my shower, I see them. When I’m taking yoga, I see them. This simple bit of color reminds me that something different is going on. It is to remind me that wherever I go, it is holy. It is to remind me that God made everything and everyone, and every person I meet is a child of God. Another way I remind myself is by wearing beaded bracelets. Every time I see my hands, I notice them. Like writing a note on my hand to remember to buy bread and milk, these bracelets remind me that I have chosen to love and serve God by loving and serving His people. They remind me of specific people who I am praying for. They remind me of specific causes and concerns as well. They remind me to call a friend who is grieving. They remind me to take soup over to a friend who is sick. They remind me to take a CPR class so I can help a stranger. They remind me to pray for my boss when she is driving me up the wall.

It doesn’t matter what you do to remind yourself that you, right where you are, are standing on holy ground. It just matters that you remember. Every day, in every moment, you are where God called you to be. Every moment you have a chance to make this world a little better. A smile, a gentle word, showing kindness to a stranger – all of these little things add up. You don’t have to work for a huge non-profit agency to make a difference. But you do need to remember, and then act out of love.

(Whatever) Consciousness

I went to a meeting of a belief system different than mine recently. This is fairly normal. Like in the story from Rumi of the five blind men in the room with the elephant, I seek to gain a fuller understanding of my Creator. I think there is only so much anyone can understand on their own, within their own community.

For example, my understanding of my own language opened up when I started studying different languages. Even something as simple as “I love you” just doesn’t translate sometimes. You can say “I love you” in German, but thinking that way isn’t part of their thought process. Their way of expressing love is more passive. It is not an action that you do – it is something that you receive. Their way of saying it is more like “Something about you causes me to feel love.” Hearing this helped me to understand the German people better. I seek the same kind of understanding with other faiths.

I took a test online on a site called Beliefnet, and it said that my answers matched fairly high with mainline protestant. Not a surprise. But I also ranked highly on Orthodox Quaker, and Hinduism. I also know that I like a lot of what Buddhism has to say, and that it informs a lot of my Christianity. Jesus can tell us all day long to love our neighbors as ourselves, but I’m the kind of person who needs a “how-to” list. Buddhism gives examples – Right Speech being one of them. Don’t say bad things about someone else. Got it. Then that was added to by a Jewish podcast I listen to. I leaned that if it isn’t true, kind, or helpful, keep it to yourself. Also – don’t even listen to gossip. Even listening gives it power.

The biggest part of my belief is summed up here. Part of realizing that there is a creator is that you are a creation – and that you are called to be a part of that creation – to create Heaven here. You are created to heal, join together, reconcile, make peace, show love, and lift up. I have come to feel that while I respect the right of every person to believe as they feel is necessary, I do not personally embrace any belief system that is inward-focused. I am for any belief system that turns faith outward and is about helping others.

Now, part of that is also about the mechanics of the organization. If the whole reason to raise money for the belief system is so you can keep the belief system going, then I feel they are doing something wrong. Jesus took the loaves and fishes and made more out of them, and fed thousands of hungry people. Joseph carefully saved up the grain that was produced in Egypt for seven years so that he could then give it away to the starving people in the famine times that followed.