Yoga Sestina

Stuck in the center of your garden is a wooden staff.
Perched nearby in the shade is a mossy stone frog.
His head is shaped like a neat triangle
and the afternoon brings a visiting pigeon.
Open the rain slicked wooden gate
to the garden and in will stride a warrior.

Your stone faced warrior
needs no weapons, no staff
to open her heart`s gate.
Within her rests a frog
that can fly higher than any pigeon
found in any city triangle.

Who needs city squares when you have a triangle?
Three equal sides is enough for a warrior
who does battle with slate grey pigeons
and wields a pen like a staff.
That ancient forgotten stone frog
will soon be hopping out of that torii gate.

Sometimes it isn’t a doorway so much as a gate
that is shaped with three sides, a square triangle.
Through it can stride a monk, a poet, or a frog.
It is much harder if you are a warrior. 
Sometimes you get tripped by your staff.
Drop it and fly free like a pigeon.

Nothing is freer than a pigeon.
They can roost on any gate.
They work for nobody, they are not staff
in any business triangle.
Strutting their freedom, they are Zen warriors
and are rarely eaten, unlike the frog.

Fancy restaurants serve frog.
Only desperate people eat pigeon.
You are that warrior.
You are standing at the gate.
Within this holy triangle
lies the secret of the staff.

Frog, you are standing before a gate. 

Like a pigeon, you are above any trinity, any triangle.

You are awake, warrior, where is your staff?

I’m angry. There. I’ve said it.

I’m getting tired of people telling me that I am angry. They also tell me that “frustrated” equals “angry”. I’d like to think with an English degree I could use better words than “angry.” “Angry” is such an ugly word. So gauche. So Jerry Springer white trash. Nobody wants to be “angry.” It doesn’t have any style. OK, sometimes I’m upset or unhappy that things aren’t going the way I think they should. Does that make me “angry”? My husband says that I get angry at him. This is really embarrassing. Is “embarrassing” yet another word for “angry?”

Am I not justified in my anger? Am I not allowed to be upset/frustrated/unhappy that things don’t go the way I think they should? Am I not allowed to be upset about how life doesn’t go as I plan?

Is telling me I’m “angry” another way to control me? Is it the new term for what I heard in my high school and college years – “You think too much.” Boyfriends who said that were dismissed quickly.

My spiritual director thinks I should say I’m angry. My pastoral care teachers think this too. Funny, I feel OK. Pretty good, until some authority figure thinks I should think I’m angry. Right now the thing that makes me angry is people thinking I’m angry.

I get frustrated when folks won’t try to help themselves. I see my obese coworkers who are pre-diabetic sneaking cupcakes from the break room. They have noticed all the work I have done to get better (I used to be 200 pounds). They comment frequently about how they wish they could get in shape. Then they sit and read all of their lunch while there is a great walking path right outside the break room door. Every hindrance they name I can find a solution for but then they come up with another excuse. I get frustrated with them. Does this mean I’m angry? Is “angry” the same as getting upset with someone who says they want to get better but refuses to take action? Is it “angry” to note that the American way says to do whatever you want, and then take a pill later? No work required.

Perhaps “anger” is tied to attachment. The world is not like how I think it should be. It isn’t that someone has something I think is mine. Part if it is that they aren’t doing things the way I think they should. They put don’t put stuff back where it came from, so I can’t find it when I need it. They have their music on too high so it annoys me. Is “annoyed” another word for “angry?”

Maybe I am angry. Maybe I should say so. I’m angry when people don’t do what they say they are going to do. I’m angry when I have to return something that isn’t what I ordered. I’m angry when a transaction shows up on my credit card bill that I didn’t expect. I’m angry when people expect me to pay for their laziness. I’m angry when I find something that I bought and lost, only to have bought another one. I’m angry when people refuse to take care of their health and then seem surprised that they get sick. I’m angry when people fritter away their lives on meaningless things.

Perhaps my anger is the reason I write. Perhaps my anger spurs me on to try to make changes within myself and within the world. Maybe there is a lot of power in being angry. Sometimes anger can be transformative. Sometimes it is the fuel that makes change happen.

I remember a story of a horrible, tragic car accident. The wife was pregnant and had gone into labor early. Her husband was out of town on a business trip. She didn’t have a babysitter for their young son, so he was in the car as well as she drove to the hospital. There was an accident. Only the young son survived, but he was badly hurt. When the father was able to get to see his son, he was numb. His entire family had been reshaped in an instant. His hopes and dreams for the future had crumbled away. It was days later that he changed and started to be angry. The chaplain thought this was an excellent sign – that then he could begin to accept his loss and go on. I remember this surprised me. “Anger” is good?

Perhaps “anger” is related to grief. Therapists tell us that anger is one of the stages of grief – but perhaps anger itself can teach us about grief. Perhaps anger points to a sense of loss, of not-right-ness. Perhaps knowing that can give us a sense of those situations that need attention. I think anger is the opposite of complacency. I think anger can be used as a force to change unjust situations.

The Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. was angry. He was angry that people were being treated badly simply because of the color of their skin. His anger helped lead a movement of nonviolent resistance that fostered change. If he hadn’t been angry, he would have simply accepted things the way they were and let them be. People would still be separate and not equal under the law. Jesus got angry at all the hypocrisy he saw – about how the letter of the law was being followed but not the spirit.

Maybe it is a good idea to get in touch with your anger. Maybe anger is a useful tool. Maybe I should stop being embarrassed by my anger and just start naming it for what it is. And then I should learn how to focus it and direct it so it can be used as a force for change.

Process, not Product.

I had a nice discussion with friends last night about creativity and how important it is to not edit at the beginning of the project. Put down a rough outline or a sketch. Then fill in. Then edit. If you edit at the start you will never get your project built. Yes, a strong foundation is good. But the best part is that whatever art form you use, be it writing, music, beading, painting -isn’t a building. You can rearrange it, especially if you are creating in a digital format.
If you think too much about the end you will never get past the beginning. Rarely do my creations end up the way I expected. Over twenty years of jewelry making has taught me that, and I’m learning it is true about writing as well. Even if I have the beads, once I put them together they look different. This texture doesn’t look right with this color. Or I don’t have the skill to connect them the way that I want. I’ve learned to do it anyway with what I have. Just keep going forward. The process is more important than the product.
What you make this week will (probably) look stupid to you in a month. That is OK. You are a different person a month later. Don’t rip your creation apart. Make something else. If you rip it apart and try to remake it, you are just making the same thing over and over. Make something new. That way you are adding, not subtracting. You will constantly be growing and changing and developing. Each time you create you are learning more about the medium and about yourself. Each time you create you are growing.
It is OK to revisit a theme. Whether you are creating with beads, words, or musical notes, themes come up and need to be worked on. It is fine to return to that theme and give it a different treatment. Perhaps this time you will find the “right” way to express that idea. Or not. That is OK too. Keep working and pushing and trying. Grow forward, not back.
I suspect creating is a lot like having a child. You don’t know how it is going to look or behave once it comes out. It isn’t about controlling the creation – it is about being part of it, and letting it develop naturally through you. Part of the delight (or frustration) with being a creative person is that the result surprises you. It ends up how it ends up. Rarely when you are creating do you get to “have it your way”, in spite of what Burger King says. The way your creation ends up is the way it either needs to be, or it is the best you can do right now. The more you practice your art, the better you will get. It is helpful to think of each attempt as a stepping stone, not a stumbling block.
Perhaps I’m trying to be a midwife to your creativity. Don’t fight it. Let it happen. Don’t push too soon. Breathe.
Everybody has to start somewhere. Mozart didn’t create amazing music right from the start, right? OK. Maybe he did. That’s why we call him a child prodigy. But the fact that we have a special word for it means it is unusual. I seem to remember that he had a LOT of music lessons, though. The only difference between you and the expert is a lot of time and work. So get going and make more art!

You keep using that word “Christian”. I do not think it means what you think it means.

I didn’t want to be Christian. Who would? Everybody that I saw who said they were Christian were jerks. They are rude, self-centered, self-assured. Sometimes they seem like zombies – they just do what they are told by their pastor. They all dress the same and talk the same. They get all twirly-eyed when they talk about their “Savior and Lord”. And worst of all – they read “safe” books and listen to “family-friendly” music.

Even now that I am a Christian, it is kind of embarrassing to admit that I am a follower of Jesus, because there are so many other people who wear the same badge who are flat out rude or crazy. Why would I want to be associated with them?

I don’t, really. I want to follow Jesus. I don’t follow the followers. When I read the New Testament, I’m careful to make sure who said what. The apostle Paul said a lot of really amazing things that help build up the early church, but he also said some pretty judgmental things about anybody who wasn’t a straight male. According to his letters, if you were female, you’d better be quiet in church and subservient to your husband. If you were gay, well, forget it. Pretty much, he excluded anybody who wasn’t him – and that seems to be the trend today. “If you don’t do things my way, you are doing it wrong”, seems to be the way a lot of Christians think.

But Jesus didn’t say anything like that. Jesus said a whole lot about loving (he was for it) and a whole lot about judging (he was against it).

Before I became a Christian, I’d read a lot of books about other faiths. I’d learned a lot about Buddhism, and Sikhism, and Taoism. If it was a world religion, I was there. But then I thought that I was not being fair. If I’m going to give equal time to all these other ways of understanding The Big Questions, then I need to see who this Jesus guy is and what he says.

I decided to give the Episcopal Church a try. My parents had raised me as an Episcopalian but they quit going when I was very young. The service was familiar, if a little confusing. Turns out I’d picked up the service bulletin for the week before in my desire to get there early and settled in. So I had the wrong readings, and the hymns were off, but the rest of the service was straight from the Book of Common Prayer and that was familiar enough. After the service I cornered a priest with this statement – “Buddha is awesome, Gandhi is with the program, and Lao-Tsu also has it figured out.” This was a make-it-or-break-it moment right here. I knew I’d found truth in their teachings. If he dismissed them, then I knew I was done with this foray. So he surprised me. He said “Cool!” with a huge smile. OK, now we were talking. He wasn’t part of a church that acted like it had a monopoly on the Divine.

I then decided to read the Bible. Well, let’s be honest. Very few people can wade through the entire Bible. There are a lot of “begats” that slow most folks down. And there is all that interior decorating micromanagement going on with building the first Temple. So I skipped to the Gospels.

The more I read of the Gospels, the more I wanted to quote from the movie Princess Bride to the folks who said they were Christians but didn’t act like it. “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” They kept saying Jesus, but turning it into a dirty word. Their Jesus was hateful and judgmental. Their Jesus was all about getting a ticket to heaven and you were done. Their Jesus was closed-minded and thoughtless. This wasn’t the Jesus I was discovering. The Jesus I was discovering was about love, and more importantly, showing love through service to others.

What would Jesus do? I’d think he’d be totally down with the idea of having friends from all different religions. And I don’t mean having friends just so he can try to convert them. I think he’d learn how to say “thank you” in a bunch of different languages. I think he’d volunteer at a food bank. I think he’d carry around extra bottles of water so he could give them out to folks he saw. I think he’d encourage people and raise them up.

I think being a Christian is about service. It is about living the life of Jesus. It is about taking up the yoke. Sometimes people need a sandwich, not a sermon. I think “being Christian” means to be Christ in this world – to take up where he left off. Saint Theresa of Avila tells us “Christ has no body now on earth but yours.” Go forth. Be Jesus, and be the nice one. Be the one that heals and feeds and clothes.

(I have now turned off comments for this post, and updated my comment policy in my About section.)

The Prayer to Our Father

This is from http://www.thenazareneway.com/lords_prayer.htm
These three new translations of The Lord’s Prayer give a whole new insight into the meaning.

The Prayer To Our Father
(in the original Aramaic)

Abwûn
“Oh Thou, from whom the breath of life comes,

d’bwaschmâja
who fills all realms of sound, light and vibration.

Nethkâdasch schmach
May Your light be experienced in my utmost holiest.

Têtê malkuthach.
Your Heavenly Domain approaches.

Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d’bwaschmâja af b’arha.
Let Your will come true – in the universe (all that vibrates)
just as on earth (that is material and dense).

Hawvlân lachma d’sûnkanân jaomâna.
Give us wisdom (understanding, assistance) for our daily need,

Waschboklân chaubên wachtahên aikâna
daf chnân schwoken l’chaijabên.
detach the fetters of faults that bind us, (karma)
like we let go the guilt of others.

Wela tachlân l’nesjuna
Let us not be lost in superficial things (materialism, common temptations),

ela patzân min bischa.
but let us be freed from that what keeps us off from our true purpose.

Metol dilachie malkutha wahaila wateschbuchta l’ahlâm almîn.
From You comes the all-working will, the lively strength to act,
the song that beautifies all and renews itself from age to age.

Amên.
Sealed in trust, faith and truth.
(I confirm with my entire being)

________________________________________
Lord’s Prayer, from the original Aramaic
Translation by Neil Douglas-Klotz in Prayers of the Cosmos

O Birther! Father- Mother of the Cosmos
Focus your light within us – make it useful.
Create your reign of unity now-
through our fiery hearts and willing hands
Help us love beyond our ideals
and sprout acts of compassion for all creatures.
Animate the earth within us: we then
feel the Wisdom underneath supporting all.
Untangle the knots within
so that we can mend our hearts’ simple ties to each other.
Don’t let surface things delude us,
But free us from what holds us back from our true purpose.
Out of you, the astonishing fire,
Returning light and sound to the cosmos.
Amen.

________________________________________
Lords Prayer, from Aramaic into Old English
Translation by G.J.R. Ouseley from The Gospel of the Holy Twelve

Our Father-Mother Who art above and within:
Hallowed be Thy Name in twofold Trinity.
In Wisdom, Love and Equity Thy Kingdom come to all.
Thy will be done, As in Heaven so in Earth.
Give us day by day to partake of Thy holy Bread, and the fruit of the living Vine.
As Thou dost forgive us our trespasses, so may we forgive others who trespass against us.
Shew upon us Thy goodness, that to others we may shew the same.
In the hour of temptation, deliver us from evil.
Amun.

From http://www.thenazareneway.com/lords_prayer.htm

Prayers and stories I like

All of these prayers/poems/stories are helpful and useful. They are from many sources.

The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
~ Rumi ~

(The Essential Rumi, versions by Coleman Barks)

Rules for being Human
1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it’s yours to keep for the entire period.

2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, “life.”

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The “failed” experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately “work.”

4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end. There’s no part of life that doesn’t contain its lessons. If you’re alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.

6. “There” is no better a place than “here.” When your “there” has become a “here”, you will simply obtain another “there” that will again look better than “here.”

7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life’s questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

10. You will forget all this.

(I first read this half my life ago. It was on a copied piece of paper, posted on the fridge in a stranger’s house in the Washington DC area. Then I saw it again years later at a jewelry show in a dorm in Chattanooga. This has been attributed to many people.)

Here is an ancient Chinese story to illustrate an important point:

A Chinese gentleman lived on the border of China and Mongolia. In those days, there was constant conflict and strife along the perimeter. The man had a beautiful horse. One day, she leaped over the corral, raced down the road, crossed the border, and was captured by the Mongolians. His friends came to comfort him. “That’s bad news,” they said sadly. “What makes you think it’s bad news?” asked the Chinese gentleman. “Maybe it’s good news.” A few days later the mare came bolting into his corral, bringing with it a massive stallion. His friends crowded around. “That’s good news!” they cried. “What makes you think it’s good news?” he asked. “Maybe it is bad news.” Later, his son, while riding the stallion and trying to break it, was thrown off and broke his leg. “That’s bad news,” cried the friends. “What makes you think it is bad news?” asked the Chinese gentleman. “Maybe it’s good news.” One week later, war broke out with Mongolia, and a Chinese general came through, drafting all the young men. All later perished, except for the young man who couldn’t go because his leg was broken. The man said to his friends, “You see, the things you thought were bad turned out good; and the things you thought were good turned out bad.

The Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.

The Prayer of St. Theresa of Avila
Christ has no body but yours,
No hands, no feet on earth but yours,
Yours are the eyes with which he looks
Compassion on this world,
Yours are the feet with which he walks to do good,
Yours are the hands, with which he blesses all the world.
Yours are the hands, yours are the feet,
Yours are the eyes, you are his body.
Christ has no body now but yours,
No hands, no feet on earth but yours,
Yours are the eyes with which he looks
compassion on this world.
Christ has no body now on earth but yours.

Saint Patrick’s Breastplate
I bind unto myself today
The strong Name of the Trinity,
By invocation of the same,
The Three in One and One in Three.
I bind this day to me for ever.
By power of faith, Christ’s incarnation;
His baptism in the Jordan river;
His death on Cross for my salvation;
His bursting from the spicèd tomb;
His riding up the heavenly way;
His coming at the day of doom;*
I bind unto myself today.
I bind unto myself the power
Of the great love of the cherubim;
The sweet ‘well done’ in judgment hour,
The service of the seraphim,
Confessors’ faith, Apostles’ word,
The Patriarchs’ prayers, the Prophets’ scrolls,
All good deeds done unto the Lord,
And purity of virgin souls.
I bind unto myself today
The virtues of the starlit heaven,
The glorious sun’s life-giving ray,
The whiteness of the moon at even,
The flashing of the lightning free,
The whirling wind’s tempestuous shocks,
The stable earth, the deep salt sea,
Around the old eternal rocks.
I bind unto myself today
The power of God to hold and lead,
His eye to watch, His might to stay,
His ear to hearken to my need.
The wisdom of my God to teach,
His hand to guide, His shield to ward,
The word of God to give me speech,
His heavenly host to be my guard.
Against the demon snares of sin,
The vice that gives temptation force,
The natural lusts that war within,
The hostile men that mar my course;
Or few or many, far or nigh,
In every place and in all hours,
Against their fierce hostility,
I bind to me these holy powers.
Against all Satan’s spells and wiles,
Against false words of heresy,
Against the knowledge that defiles,
Against the heart’s idolatry,
Against the wizard’s evil craft,
Against the death wound and the burning,
The choking wave and the poisoned shaft,
Protect me, Christ, till Thy returning.
Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.
I bind unto myself the Name,
The strong Name of the Trinity;
By invocation of the same.
The Three in One, and One in Three,
Of Whom all nature hath creation,
Eternal Father, Spirit, Word:
Praise to the Lord of my salvation,
Salvation is of Christ the Lord.

Barefoot on Holy Ground

Many religions have a tradition of taking off their shoes when they enter holy places. Muslims do it. The Buddhists and the Sikhs do it. Jews and Christians have a history of it, but they rarely do it anymore. Exodus 3:5 states “Do not come any closer,” God said. “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.” (NIV) when Moses was stopped by the burning bush. Why isn’t it done today? I think that it is a valuable way to remind ourselves that we are standing on holy ground.

Whenever I approach the altar at church, I pause and bow. I know that all of church is sacred and blessed, but I also feel that some areas are more so. This table isn’t like the table I eat breakfast from. This is a table of sacrifice. This table is like the rock that Abraham was about to sacrifice his son Isaac on. This table is like the altar at the Temple in Jerusalem over 2000 years ago. This table represents the table at the Last Supper when Jesus taught his disciples a way to remember him and his sacrifice.

The altar, this table, this meeting place of Heaven and Earth, is different and sacred. It is set apart. Yet we are welcome to approach it and serve at it. All we have as a gesture to acknowledge this difference is a bow. We bow to remind ourselves of this sacrifice. Yet why don’t we take off our shoes? Surely some of it is cultural. Feet are considered dirty. Dirt is the opposite of sacred. We don’t want to mix those things up. But let’s think about this. If we wear our shoes outside, then take them off when we get inside a holy place, then we are taking off the dirt. Our feet, having been in our shoes, are clean.

Perhaps we don’t take our shoes off because it is seen as too casual. We want to remind ourselves to be proper when we are with our Creator. We wear nice clothes. We speak in hushed voices. Sometimes we cover our heads in reverence. “Barefoot” often equals “relaxed” – and we want to be awake and mindful when we are worshipping. Yet Christians are told to be like children when we approach God. What is more child-like then going barefoot? What is more innocent?

I went to Holy Cross Episcopal Church on December 9th, 2012 to lead a prayer-bracelet workshop. I attended the Communion service and was startled to see the priest, fully robed up in cassock and alb and chasuble, standing there barefoot as she read the Gospel. Then I noticed that her chalice bearer was also barefoot. During the Passing of the Peace I managed to get to the chalice bearer and ask if it was OK if I took off my shoes as well and she enthusiastically encouraged me to. I asked my husband if it was OK with him as well. It was something I wanted to do, but I wanted to make sure that it wouldn’t make anyone uncomfortable or feel weird. Once cleared – the shoes and socks came off, and I tucked them under my chair. I went up to take Communion barefoot. It felt freeing, and weird, and special. The concrete floor was cold. I felt that people were looking at me. I had a real sense of difference – this time of going up to the altar was not the same as all the other times.

I think this is good. I think it is important to find ways to make this very simple, repeated experience more meaningful. There is a chance of not paying attention to something if you do it all the time. There is a chance of not taking it seriously. Approaching the altar is already a very physical experience. In some denominations, communion comes to you. You sit in your pew, and a round metal tray with a hundred or so single-serving cups of grape juice get passed by you, along with a tray of small square bits of dry “bread”. To me, it is a very impersonal experience. I appreciate the value of getting up from where I’m sitting and going to take communion. It means it is something I choose to do. It is something that I actively seek and desire. By approaching the altar I feel that I’m moving closer to Christ.

Meaningful that this symbol is, it means more when I can do it barefoot. But I don’t want to offend people. I don’t want to freak them out. I don’t want to call attention to myself. So when I’m not serving at church as a chalice bearer or an acolyte, I have taken to wearing clogs. I slip off my shoes during the service and stand on the bare wooden floor. The sensation reminds me that I am in a different place. This is holy ground. This isn’t just something I do on Sunday morning. This is a conscious choice to be here, to be part of this Body, to be a living member.

There is a desire in many sanctuaries to awaken the senses to the specialness of God. This is part of what we mean when we say “corporate” worship. We use the body, with all its senses, to be reminded of God’s love for us. This is why some sanctuaries are heavily ornamented. The stained glass and the tapestries and the icons are reminders to our eyes that something different is going on here. They are a reminder that God is here among us. The incense calls to us as well, awakening our sense of smell. When we go into a friend’s house, we may smell supper cooking. We know that we are about to get a really nice meal. We know that we have been expected and prepared for. In the same way, God expects us and prepares for us, and welcomes us. I think it is also important for us to welcome and prepare for God. The Lakota leader Black Elk tells us that “The holy land is everywhere”. It isn’t just in a church or a temple or a mosque.

The Rev. Carolyn A. Coleman, Vicar of Holy Cross Episcopal Church in Murfreesboro says “ I go without shoes because God told Moses to take off his shoes when he was on the holy ground before the burning bush. The burning bush and the ground out of which it grows is holy because God created it, but more, the ground of suffering to which God called Moses to bring God’s people salvation was holy. That was the ground I believe God was talking about. So in the midst of community gathered, I take off my shoes because all our suffering as well as our joys and celebrations make for holy ground.”

One way I remind myself of this idea is to paint my toenails vibrant colors. When I’m taking my shower, I see them. When I’m taking yoga, I see them. This simple bit of color reminds me that something different is going on. It is to remind me that wherever I go, it is holy. It is to remind me that God made everything and everyone, and every person I meet is a child of God. Another way I remind myself is by wearing beaded bracelets. Every time I see my hands, I notice them. Like writing a note on my hand to remember to buy bread and milk, these bracelets remind me that I have chosen to love and serve God by loving and serving His people. They remind me of specific people who I am praying for. They remind me of specific causes and concerns as well. They remind me to call a friend who is grieving. They remind me to take soup over to a friend who is sick. They remind me to take a CPR class so I can help a stranger. They remind me to pray for my boss when she is driving me up the wall.

It doesn’t matter what you do to remind yourself that you, right where you are, are standing on holy ground. It just matters that you remember. Every day, in every moment, you are where God called you to be. Every moment you have a chance to make this world a little better. A smile, a gentle word, showing kindness to a stranger – all of these little things add up. You don’t have to work for a huge non-profit agency to make a difference. But you do need to remember, and then act out of love.

(Whatever) Consciousness

I went to a meeting of a belief system different than mine recently. This is fairly normal. Like in the story from Rumi of the five blind men in the room with the elephant, I seek to gain a fuller understanding of my Creator. I think there is only so much anyone can understand on their own, within their own community.

For example, my understanding of my own language opened up when I started studying different languages. Even something as simple as “I love you” just doesn’t translate sometimes. You can say “I love you” in German, but thinking that way isn’t part of their thought process. Their way of expressing love is more passive. It is not an action that you do – it is something that you receive. Their way of saying it is more like “Something about you causes me to feel love.” Hearing this helped me to understand the German people better. I seek the same kind of understanding with other faiths.

I took a test online on a site called Beliefnet, and it said that my answers matched fairly high with mainline protestant. Not a surprise. But I also ranked highly on Orthodox Quaker, and Hinduism. I also know that I like a lot of what Buddhism has to say, and that it informs a lot of my Christianity. Jesus can tell us all day long to love our neighbors as ourselves, but I’m the kind of person who needs a “how-to” list. Buddhism gives examples – Right Speech being one of them. Don’t say bad things about someone else. Got it. Then that was added to by a Jewish podcast I listen to. I leaned that if it isn’t true, kind, or helpful, keep it to yourself. Also – don’t even listen to gossip. Even listening gives it power.

The biggest part of my belief is summed up here. Part of realizing that there is a creator is that you are a creation – and that you are called to be a part of that creation – to create Heaven here. You are created to heal, join together, reconcile, make peace, show love, and lift up. I have come to feel that while I respect the right of every person to believe as they feel is necessary, I do not personally embrace any belief system that is inward-focused. I am for any belief system that turns faith outward and is about helping others.

Now, part of that is also about the mechanics of the organization. If the whole reason to raise money for the belief system is so you can keep the belief system going, then I feel they are doing something wrong. Jesus took the loaves and fishes and made more out of them, and fed thousands of hungry people. Joseph carefully saved up the grain that was produced in Egypt for seven years so that he could then give it away to the starving people in the famine times that followed.

Every good thing?

I have a radio as my alarm clock. Currently it is set to a Christian station, and most of the songs help start the day in a gentle way. This morning, the refrain “You’re the reason for every good thing” was pumping out of that tiny box, and something about it annoyed me.

I think it can cause problems to think of God as just the provider of “every good thing”. Sometimes very hard things come from God. Sometimes God tests us and works us in ways that don’t seem very good to us at all. In the book of Job we hear these words “Should we accept only good from God and not adversity?” (Job 2:10). In other books we are told that God is hard on his people because He loves them, in the same way a father is hard on a favored child. He challenges his child with tests because he wants her to grow up strong. When these tests come from God, the tests are the various adversities that we face in our lives.

During adversity, we humans have a tendency to call on God. This reaching out to God not only makes us stronger, but makes our connection with God stronger. It also makes our connection with each other stronger. Empathy doesn’t work if you haven’t been there. Sometimes you really do have to walk a mile in another person’s shoes to really understand the pain she is going through. Sometimes she doesn’t even have shoes. Sometimes she doesn’t even have legs. It is important to get outside of yourself and your own understanding of the world to see that your “reality” isn’t the only reality, and sometimes it isn’t even real. I think this is part of the appeal of the “Post Secret” series of books.

Buddhism teaches us that simply defining what is “good” or “bad” can cause us problems. That need to define causes pain – we feel that we are missing out when we feel that “bad” things are happening. Then we miss what is actually happening in the moment. One phrase that speaks to that is “every moment is the guru.” The 13th century Sufi poet Rumi reminds us that the only way to make bread is to first grind up grain. To the grain, that is a terrible experience. But because the grain is broken up, it can be transformed into something nourishing. The grain, by itself, has no use. What if we too were like that? What if sometimes we need to be broken to be useful?

Left on our own, we’d be perfectly happy to live our lives in a small way, safe, secure, and simple. There are some people who challenge themselves and set tasks for themselves. They work really hard to make themselves stronger mentally and physically. Every day is a new adventure and chance to grow for these people. And the world benefits from their struggles. Vaccines are found. Textbooks are written. New creations are invented. Just their energy is inspiring and can motivate others to similar levels of activity. But most of us need a push, and often that push comes from outside of us. We lose a job. We get a diagnosis of a chronic disease. We get divorced. We lose our homes in a fire or earthquake or flood. Something outside of ourselves causes us to get dislodged from our safe ground. But what if that ground isn’t safe – but quicksand? What if we are slowly sinking into oblivion by staying still? That push means we have to reach outside of our comfort zones and stretch and grow.

From my readings, I feel that God sometimes breaks us in order to free us. Sometimes the paths we put ourselves on only lead to more pain. God, in God’s very nature, can see further than we can. God wants what is best for us, and changes our paths so that we become the people we were born to be.

Don’t get me wrong – this isn’t the “prosperity gospel” here. Yes, God wants us to do well. God wants the Kingdom of heaven to be here on earth. But I sincerely doubt that God’s master plan is for us to pay off our mortgage in half the time or have a house on the beach and three cars. Material things just weigh us down. And our idea of “the good life” is often very self-centered. I believe that our Creator calls us to be self-less, rather than self-ish. I believe that the Buddhist concept of the bodhisattva speaks to this. A bodhisattva is, in part, someone who is very close to attaining a level of enlightenment that she can transcend the normal human state of existence of repeating life. You can take this to mean reincarnation, or simply repeating the same old predictable ways of being. Every day that you are stuck doing the same old mistakes, you are trapped in the wheel. Through hard work and grace you might get free of this. You can then go on to a new way of being, or you can stay behind and help others to escape their similar fate. Basically, you are paying it back.

It is like trying to cross a turbulent river. You pick your way across the slippery stones and navigate the rapids. You’ve found a safe way across. Instead of hanging out on the other side, safe and dry, you go back into the river and point out a safe path to others who are in the river with you. I believe this is what Christ calls us to do. I believe that we are to be helpful and loving and kind.

Those rocks in the river are like all the stumbling blocks we encounter in our lives. We can use them as obstacles, or stepping stones. They can get in our way, or we can use them as a way up and out of our unfortunate situation. Sometimes “bad” things are really blessings in disguise. Sometimes it is helpful to think that everything, “good” and “bad” comes from God, and it is up to us to make something out of it. In Romans 8:28, the apostle Paul tells us that “all things work together for the good of those who love God.” Trust the process.

I leave you with a quote from Rumi. “Very little grows on jagged rock. Be ground. Be crumbled, so wildflowers will come up where you are.”

Sestina – Stone

The waves of time beat against the stone.
If only we too were like the fish
who lunges against the striving green
waves like they are a sea of stars.
Oh, my dear, if only you too could see that light
and let it unlock you like a key.

There is a house that has no key.
The doors are all made of stone.
I don’t know how the rooms are full of light
when the windows are filled with painted fish
and the ceilings are devoid of stars.
When will we feel free to run into the green?

The wilderness is in the village green.
The center holds the key.
When will we see within our own centers the compass star?
There is a wilderness there too, in the stone
in our hearts that we sit on to look up at the fish
painted in the sky with heavenly light.

Follow that light.
It leads you into the leafy green
wilderness filled with silvery fish
who hold the key
that will unlock your heart’s stone
doorway, transforming you into a star.

You are a star.
Within you shines the eternal light
that poets and artists, stone
drunk on wild aromatic green
incense think to unlock with that key,
not seeing that water is unknown to the fish.

Water is so much part of the life of a fish
That she can’t even see above her the star.
Within the wilderness of her heart lies the key
that will unlock her inner light,
spilling like fresh, life-giving green
onto the altar of stone.

Fish, you have within you a light
that is brighter than a star, and filled with a life so green
it is the key to any door made of stone.