Selfishness and self-less-ness

Posted on December 30, 2012 by betsybeadhead | Leave a comment

Originally posted on FB 4-11-2012

I’m wary and weary of the new trends in spirituality that I’m seeing. I’m concerned and saddened that the current trend seems to be self-centered. Yes – you are important. Yes, you need to have a good sense of yourself. Yes – you are valued and loved by your Creator.

But so is everybody else. Every other person on this Earth was created by the same Creator. Every other person on this Earth deserves love and honor. I’m concerned that this current trend of self-centered spirituality will result in self-service only. It is fine if it is a start. It is fine if it is a seed that then grows into love and service of others.

I find that the “name it and claim it” trend is part of this. Wishful thinking. Magical thinking. Whether it is cloaked as New Age or spun into Christianity by Joel Osteen, it still feels like object-worship. It is materialism gussied up into religion. Don’t have time to be spiritual? Don’t think it is for you? But you want stuff – right? Well, here’s a religion for you! This way you can want stuff and feel good about it.

But stuff only leads you away. Things, material possessions, are a quick fix. Get what you want by praying for it, wishing for it, and you have more stuff. But then I feel you will still be empty. And then you’ll need to pray for a bigger house to hold all your stuff.

I think our Creator made us to be bigger than that. We are not born alone. When we are born, we are born into a community. At a minimum our Mom is there. In some cases it seems like the entire family is there – Dad, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings – where there is barely room for nurses and a doctor (if necessary). Our religions have prayers for welcoming new children among us. Why should our lives be any different?

I remember telling a lady about how Jesus stripped things down for us, because the Ten Commandments were just too hard for us to figure out. Love God, and love your neighbor. Easy. Everything else falls from that – you can’t steal, covet, or murder if you are showing love. How simple is that? Yet we’ve twisted it. It is becoming solely “love yourself” – and that love isn’t spreading outward.

I believe that God created every single one of us exactly the way we are because that is exactly the way we are needed. Variety is good. Eccentricity is good. We all have different talents and gifts. A garden doesn’t look nearly as interesting if it has only roses blooming in it. Add some zinnias and hyacinth and phlox and we’ve got something really cool. The same is true with a symphony. The trumpet may be a really important instrument, but it needs a tuba to round out the bottom notes, and there needs to be a drum section to keep the pace.

I believe that the best way to know God is to seek Him in his creation – and for some, that is in the wilderness. Some find insight and growth by working with plants and animals. I find however, that the most challenge comes in seeking God in people. Mother Teresa said that it was her privilege to serve other people. She felt that each person she served was Jesus in disguise. That the leper’s wounds were Christ’s wounds. That the baby dying in her arms was Christ himself. I think this is a powerful meditation.

About two years ago I started trying this at the library. I’m not doing earth-changing things. I’m creating library cards. I’m solving problems. But I decided to try this. To try to see each person as if they are Jesus, as if they are God made Flesh, in front of me. To my happiness, it resulted in profound experiences. Almost every person caught that vibe. They responded differently to me – more smiles, more open. Each transaction was easier. This doesn’t mean that everybody was happy. Sometimes you can’t make that happen in a five minute encounter. But the old, crotchety, smelly, snaggle-toothed characters that populate the library became my favorites. I now look forward to meeting with them and helping them. The weirder they are, the more I have to look for God hiding within them. The more I look – the more they see my interest in them. The more they soften up and reveal themselves to me. It is beautiful.

I invite you to look outside yourself.

I invite you to know that you are loved, and to then know that everyone else is loved in exactly that same way.

I invite you, that if you are a seeker of God – if you desire to know your Creator better, you can do no better than to serve your fellow humans. Each one is a facet into the beauty and mystery of the Eternal, the Divine, the Truth.

Paths and Stars

Posted on December 30, 2012 by betsybeadhead | Leave a comment

Originally posted on FB 2-27-12

I’ve noticed that a lot of the images that appeal to me either involve paths or stars. Generally, they are paths that have nobody in front – it is a clear path, leading on. From the perspective of the photographer or painter, s/he is the only person on the path. There might be folks behind – but there certainly is nobody up ahead.

And then there are stars. Part of why I like stars is because of the three Magi. They followed a star, in the dark, to an unknown land. No map, no idea of where they were going – but they followed. They knew that something special, something never before seen was at the end of that journey.

My life’s journey is like this. I feel called. I know what the end is. I’m just not sure how to get there. And for the longest time, I wasn’t sure that I was the one to be going on that journey. Me? Really? I have a mental health diagnosis. I’m bipolar. Society doesn’t look well on the mentally ill. Folks look at you differently when you tell them such things. I’m running a risk here by writing about it. But – that is the way I’m made. It is a genetic weakness – a chemical imbalance. I take medicine. I’ve been in the hospital twice – but both times were where I noticed that something was wrong and I asked for help. It was over a decade ago that I was last in the hospital. One doctor even said I was the sanest person she knew. But that didn’t mean I was healed – I still got a prescription, and I still took it.

But paths, and stars. I’m not going to say what I’m called to – not here. That is really big, and private. And I’m still concerned about embarrassing God. So many folks say that God has called them to something, and they do it in a very human way and it falls and fails. And yet again, God’s church looks laughable. So many times I remind myself that I follow Christ – not Christians. But I don’t want to be part of the problem. I don’t want to be a bad example. I don’t want to be that person who makes those not of this faith think that Christians are goofballs. There are countless examples for this already.

So I follow, blindly. I follow without a map. I walk, one step in front of the other. I trust in the Star. I trust in the Light that shines. I follow because that is how I’m made. I have come to trust that I was made the way I’m made (bipolar disorder and all) because that is how I’m needed. I have come to trust that force, that pull, that call that tells me to create something new. That force that tells me to create new out of old. The same creative pull that got me to break apart old jewelry from thrift stores and redesign the beads into a new creation is at work here. That was prelude. That was practice. It gave shape to a need to reform, retranslate, rebuild.

I follow God because that is how I’m made. It isn’t an easy path. I don’t even know how I’m going to get there. I’m only vaguely aware of what “there” is. But everything else He has ever told me was going to happen has happened. So I trust, that this, the first thing He ever told me, will too. This call, from so many years ago, has kept me going. Like the Magi, I walk in darkness, seeking the Light. Like the Magi, I walk over unseen territory – unmapped, unknown. Like the Magi, I have faith that I am not being led in vain.

God is not your waiter.

Posted on December 30, 2012 by betsybeadhead | Leave a comment

Originally posted on FB February 3, 2012

God wants you to pray. God wants opinions in the opinion box. He made humans with free will because he wants us to be more than part of creation – he wants us to be co-creators. He wants us to voluntarily participate in our lives and to choose good over evil.

But He doesn’t do what you ask Him to do because you ask Him to do it.

God answers prayers all the time. Sometimes the answer is yes. Sometimes it is no. Sometimes it is not now. If you don’t get what you prayed for – be thankful. Yes. Be thankful. We humans simply do not have the sense of perspective necessary to know what is best for us. Children may ask their parents for the latest toy, and their parents may refuse. The child gets upset. But the parents know that the child has gotten all the previous latest toys and ignored them. Or, they know that they are saving up for something better, so they can’t spend their money on this item.

I have a friend whose husband prayed for healing for a family friend. The friend died. Now the husband says he doesn’t know what to believe. He should believe that God is in charge. Who are we to tell God what to do? Who are we to even presume to go to our Creator and say “you have to do this” – like spoiled little children?

“When Bad Things Happen to Good People” by Rabbi Harold Kushner is very helpful on this subject.

The Bible is full of examples of people who apparently changed God’s mind. His wrath was turned away, or special dispensation was made, or healing occurred when there was no hope previously. But God does what God does. If you get what you ask for, cool. But if you don’t get what you ask for – cool as well. It is more than likely for the best. Remember the old saying – “Watch what you pray for – you may get it.” Fortunately God will give you nothing bad. It may not seem good to you at the time, but with time and perspective, you may come to see the wisdom in not getting what you wanted.

Wake Up!

Posted on December 30, 2012 by betsybeadhead | Leave a comment

Originally posted on Facebook August 26, 2012

Sometimes I’m not very charitable. I feel sad if folks are suffering because there was an accident. However – if folks are sick and hurting because they have refused to take care of themselves (they smoke, drink excessively, eat unhealthy foods, refuse to exercise) then that is different. I want to start yelling – WAKE UP! We aren’t doing each other any favors when we look the other way. A doctor really did me a favor when he found out I smoked (5 clove cigarettes every day). He literally got right in my face and yelled – Quit Smoking!

My Mom died at 53 from smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day. What a stupid way to die. Friends are sick all the time due to bad choices. I see folks at the library who are morbidly obese and all they do every day is play games on the internet. They are literally wasting their lives. One says she comes to the library to play games because she doesn’t want to take care of things at her home. Those things will still be there – adding up. This is an addiction – I understand this all too well.

Quit being a slave to your body. Your body is like a 5 year old sometimes. It wants what it wants, and it wants it right now. Feed me candy! Sit on the couch! Watch stupid shows that waste time! Eat fried food! I don’t want vegetables – they are icky!

The train is coming. You can’t avoid it. Years and years of bad choices, of allowing your body to control you only result in pain and suffering. Death is inevitable. However it can be delayed, and you can have a good healthy life for many years if you choose wisely.

When I start exercising, the first 5 minutes I hate it. I don’t want to be there. In 10 minutes I think I’ve been there for 25, and I want to stop. I push on. In 30, I think it isn’t so bad, and I can do more. In 40, I start to be sad that it is almost over. At 60 minutes I’m done and I feel great.

I’ve started to realize that this pattern is the same with starting anything. The first time you start something good for you, there is a lot of resistance. You do it a little longer, and you think why am I doing this – there’s no results, this is stupid. If you keep at it – you start to get into it and you feel better. Your mind plays tricks on you – be stronger than your mind.

There are so many excuses to be made for not following the healthy path. Excuses lead to misery.

Wake up. Choose to live. Choose to be alive and awake and healthy. This is all a process. You won’t get there overnight. Every day you will have to make choices. You will fall, you will fail. The difference is – get back up and start again.

Our taste buds have been taught in our Western society to want a high-fat, high salt diet. This can be weaned out of you so that you actually prefer healthy food.

Drink more water. Work towards not having any sodas.

Eat more vegetables. Try to eat fresh ones – not processed. Aim for a “rainbow” of color on your plate.

You really don’t need three plates of food at the buffet.

Eat slower. Chew your food. The slower you eat, the more you will digest, and the sooner you will realize you are full – and you won’t overeat.

Choose organic when possible. Yes, it is more expensive. Choose what you can, and have the rest be conventional. Every little step counts.

Avoid fried foods. Batter adds only fat and salt and no nutrition.

If you eat meat, go for chicken and seafood.

Walk more. Figure out ways you can walk more at work. Park further away from the store. Wear a pedometer so you have an idea of how far you are walking every day.

Try water aerobics. It is good for your joints, and it offers resistance training and cardio exercise at the same time.

God in a styrofoam cup.

Posted on December 29, 2012 by betsybeadhead | Leave a comment

I used to think that I needed to go to an all-natural diet. Raw, organic, locally sourced – I was sold on this idea. Even better – go ahead and dig up my front yard and put in some beets and carrots. Train some beans to grow up the maple tree. What a great idea! I could feel connected to the Earth and know where my food is coming from. Plenty of people are getting “homesteading” books these days. Folks are either afraid of pesticides or genetically modified foods. The terrors are there – they are real. Lab rats prove to us that you shouldn’t mess with Mother Nature. Or they want to grow their own food to help out with the grocery bill. It is always cheaper to do it yourself, you know.

But I’m a terrible gardener. I don’t know what to feed my plants. I over water or under water. I don’t know what plants need shade, and what parts of my yard have shade all day. I also work all day long – by the time I have time to work on the yard it is dark outside. And even though I was raised by a Mom who loved to garden, she didn’t teach me a single thing about it. Sure, I could look things up – I have a library and I know how to use it. Sure, I could ask friends to show me how.

But I don’t think that is the point. I don’t have to do it all. I don’t have to grow my own food. I don’t have to sew my own clothes. I don’t have to repair my own car. I think that we all benefit when we are interdependent. It is through our common efforts that we are able to live the life that we have. Not growing my own food gives me the time to create jewelry. Not sewing my own clothes gives me time to write. Not repairing my own car gives me time to read books that inspire me.

Then I started to think that all-natural was closer to the way God intended it. No artificial stuff for me. The more mankind gets involved in something , the further away from real it gets. So wear cotton or linen, no rayon. Eat sugar and butter, not aspartame or margarine. If you can’t pronounce the ingredients on the label, don’t eat it. In general, this is a good plan. Michael Pollan says in his book Food Rules this basic truth. “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” By “food” he means non-processed. Eat foods your grandmother would recognize as food. Cheese is better than Cheese-Wiz. Eat foods that are plants, not foods that came from a (manufacturing) plant.

So now I’m back to the beginning.

Then one day I went to visit a friend. I had been running late, so I hadn’t had my coffee. My friend offered me tea and I happily accepted. But she served it to me in a Styrofoam cup. My “all-natural” side raised an eyebrow. My “recycling” side raised the other eyebrow. I was a little freaked out.
And then I remembered some things.

Buddhist monks don’t eat meat – but if they go to visit someone at their home and are served a meal with meat, they will eat it. They eat it out of respect for the fact that it is a gift that is given to them. They eat it because no good will be done by not eating it. The animal is already dead. Refusing to eat this meal will not restore the animal.

And I remembered something from Madeline L’Engle. She wrote a book called “Walking on Water”. It is about what it means to be a Christian artist. She says that it is essential to be a co-creator with God. She says that God created humankind as participants. We are His hands and His feet – we are created, and we are creators. I’ve heard similar ideas in a Jewish podcast that I enjoy listening to. It is called “Spiritual Tools for an Outrageous World” and it is by David Sacks.

Perhaps the biggest thing that came to mind was something I read in a pamphlet on Eucharistic adoration by Daniel Connors. He said in one of the prayers that it is amazing that Jesus chooses to reveal Himself to us in bread and wine. “…they do not exist without God and human beings./Even the wheat and grapes they come from/ do not occur naturally,/ but are the product of human cultivation.” He goes on to say “You are fully God and fully human./ How wise you were to choose to be present to us in a form that cannot exist/ without God and human beings/ both doing their part.”

So I sat and drank my tea in the Styrofoam cup, comforted by the teachings of my Buddhist and Episcopal and Jewish and Catholic friends in spirit. It was good.