Originally posted on FB 11-22-12

A few years after my parents died, I was faced with a pretty bleak Thanksgiving. My boyfriend at the
time had decided to go to South Carolina to visit family, and I couldn’t go because I had to work that weekend. I was bummed about that too because I didn’t normally work on the weekend at Sweetly Southern, which was a store at the Choo Choo that sold American-made crafts. Everybody else had asked off for that weekend, so I was stuck with it. And it was the weekend after Thanksgiving, so it would be insanely busy. And it was my birthday. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.

Then I thought, I bet there is somebody else who is facing a pretty lonely Thanksgiving. I thought about a friend of mine in the medieval reenactment group (SCA) I belonged to back then. Rowan! Yeah! He’ll surely be alone for Thanksgiving. His family is as dysfunctional as you get. So I asked him the next time I saw him at a SCA meeting. “Hey – Rowan, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?” He told me that he was fine and gave me a winning smile. Something didn’t sound right. I asked his roommate. As I suspected, Rowan had told me that everything was fine when it really wasn’t. He didn’t want me to worry about him. He had nowhere to go and was also going to be alone. Time to change tactics. I went back up to him. “Hey – Rowan – my parents are dead. My boyfriend is going to be out of town. I’m going to be alone for Thanksgiving. —-What are you doing for Thanksgiving?….” I said pointedly. He got it. He gave me a huge smile. “I’d love to spend Thanksgiving with you!” he exclaimed. Then two other people overheard. “ Thanksgiving at Betsy’s house? Yeah – that sounds like a great idea. We can ditch the parents!” Then others caught the excitement.

One couple had ordered a turkey already and then their plans had changed – so they had a turkey and nobody to eat it with. This was a perfect solution. Another couple always dreaded going to their respective parents’ houses – too much driving, too much drama all in one day. Other people had nowhere to go. Other people were grateful of an excuse to get away from their families. The Orphan Thanksgiving was born. I ended up having a dozen people in my house, none of whom I was related to. I provided a place and spiral-cut ham. They provided everything else, including washing-up. There was laughter and love, and the best kind of family gathering ever – the family that you create out of choice.

They say misery loves company, and this case, it got mixed up in a sort of alchemy where misery got transformed into love.

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